Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 January 1916 — AN ESSAY ON "NOO YEAR'S” [ARTICLE]

AN ESSAY ON "NOO YEAR'S”

Little Eddie Gives His Reasons for the Annual Holiday and Ita Celebrations. "" » » Noo Yeers is the time when a man takes off enuf time ter think what a fine feller he mite be if he was only a littul diffrent. Then he makes a lot of resolushuns and stands in front of the mirror to see If there is a halo arownd his hed. The resolushuns peepul make are like the toys you buy in the ten sent stoar; they don’t last long. Another objekt of Noo Years Is to glv the wine sellers and the cellars a chanct ter celebrate. On Noo Yeer’s eve everybuddy goes downtown, where the lites are brltest, and sit arownd tabuls to wate for the yeer to brake in. When the clocks get to the rite place and al the waiters have been pade, the yeer comes in, and then everybuddy stands up and hollers or else blows horns. Why peepul should do this I don’t kno, unles It la that they don't want the year to think’ it has slipped in withowt ennybuddy knowing it. The feeling on the moarning aftur Noo Year’s ia responsible, for menny of the resolushuns. Pa sez that if evvury Noo Yeer’s resolushun was kept, we wuddent bastes worry abowt wet and dry eleckshuns, but as the mattur stands nobuddy heers abowt eny bartenders being lade Off the fUrst weke in Janyouary. Last Noo Yeer’s pa sed he would make a resolution and kepe it if ma would do the same, and that each could suggest the resolushun fer the othur, and ma sed all rite. Then you can resolve, sed pa, not to ask me whare I hav been when I come home late at ®ite. I guess that is a good one, isn’t it, Eddie, he sed to me. Then ma told him what to resolve, which was this—you resolve not to go owt at nltes for a yeer. Pa got pri.tty sore, you bet, and went and got a loryer friend to get up an argyment bq prove that he didn’t have to live" up to the agreemunt, being as his resolushun ottymatically nullified hers, or sumthing like that. There was a strained atmusphere in owr howse for Sum time, and now if there are eny Noo Yeer’s resolushun, they are voluntary affares. The wurst thing abowt Noo Yeer’s for a boy is that it is the last day of Christmus vakashun, and for a man, that it is the day that the bils come in. lam too young to go to restawrunts to welcum in the yeer, but I am old enuf to know that the best resolushuns to make are to resolve not to do things I wuddent do ennyway.