Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 303, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 December 1915 — THE LATE SHOPPER [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

THE LATE SHOPPER

Wg[7^\\ HE late Shopper is a prom- ■ I inent member of the Genus Procrastinatus. He has his own peculiar way of celebrating Christmas. Often he celebrates it in bed, with a water bag on his chest and the grip of an anxious physician around his wrist. His eyes are closed and his poor, warped brain is worn in a sling. On the floor beside his bed, torn to shreds and bitten in numerous places, lies his Christmas list. The day before Christmas he sallied forth with this list in his hand and a look of desperate determination on his features. The Late Shopper is a cheerful giver, withal. He loves giving for its own sake, but he loves it better for the sake of putting it off. Decidedly he is no believer in the "Do-it-now” movement. Nor is he selfish. It is Just a habit. It is to be feared that if he were dying of thirst he would put off giving himself a drink. Philanthropists should find rest sanitariums for Late Christmas Shoppers

—the kind that are incurable. Here they could retire and nurse their wounds, incurred in the last toy counter rush. How fortunate it is that Santa Claus was not born a late shopper. He is always on the Job, and gets ready for the holiday season months ahead, we are reliably informed by the nursery books. However, Santa Claus is in constant danger of losing his reputation. There are hundreds of fond Fathers who pose as Santa Claus to their little broods, Papas who sally forth to collect a bagful of toys just when the stores are closing on Christmas eve, and the holly garlands are being taken down, and the manager of the dress goods department is getting ready to announce, “Spring and Summer Styles.” The Late Shoppers we have always with us. As eleventh-hour athletes, they take all the running, jumping and line-plunging honors. But often the Late Shopper has one good mark to his credit. He puts off giving at all times, and therefore puts off giv> ing a piece of his mind to his wife.