Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 299, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 December 1915 — Page 3

A Little Jaunt

“Alfred Horatio." began Mrs. Slmmp, tugging at bls lapels, "what do you want to do this afternoon?" It was a beautiful Sunday and Mr.' Slnunp glanced out over the green lawn reflectively. "Why, sleep, m’dear,” replied Mr. Slmmp. His shrill voice was incongruous in a man as huge as he and sometimes It Irritated Mrs. Slmmp. "Sleep! eat! eat! sleep! What Is life to you?” "Troublesome, m’dear," regretted Mr. Slmmp: He and she had been married twenty-five years ago, but she was still "m’dear" to him. "How would It do to take a long trip down the island in the car?" suggested Mrs. Slmmp, dimpling coyly. "Yes, m’dear," said Mr. Slmmp. So they ordered the car and tumbled Into It. Mr. Slmmp joined her in the tonneau. "Just us two, Alfred," protested Mrs. Slmmp. The chauffeur was dismissed. Mr. Slmmp clambered into the driver's seat, pressed the starting button and whirled away. He lighted a pipe. "Put that out, Alfred," she commanded. He didn’t hear her. Soon they were racing along the beach outside the city limits. "I say, Alfred, put out that pipe," she repeated. "It gets into my eyes." Mr. Slmmp heard her and brought the car to a standstill. "Come, sit in the front seat," he requested. “No,” she murmured. “Some one might see me." "What of it?” he shrieked. "Only servant girls ride In the front seat," she explained. "I have a position to maintain, remember." “They might think I was the chauffeur,” reflected Mr. Slmmp, bitterly. “Then let me smoke, m’dear; you won’t permit It In the house and this is one of my rare chances to enjoy a pipe." “I’ll suffocate," she predicted. He put It out. "Let’s turn back, m’dear." "Oh, no, Alfred; let’s get out In the open, for from ttie maddening crowd, where the sunlight shines happily on the breast of the dancing gulf and thd* zephyrs—” Mr. Slmmp grunted. He started the car. He did his part, but the car didn’t start. "We have a panne, m’dear,” observed Mr. Slmmp. "In the kitchen," replied Mrs. Simmp, absently, and then she grew angry. "What are you talking about?" "The car won’t go,” explained Mr. Slmmp. “Why?" she asked. He explained to her In great length. She knew he would mess things up. What was he going to do about It? "We have no gasoline,” he lamented. Mr. Simmp walked away and whispered up his coat sleeve. He returned. "We’ll have to walk.” “I won’t," she declared flatly. "You’re a brute and I knew it when I married you, but I thought (like a fool) that I could tame you." But she got out and together the? plunged through the sand upward Gal veston and home, miles away. Mrs. Slmmp has No. 4 pedal extremities and wore No. 3 shoes with high heels. Mr. Simmp has big feet and wears big shoes and makes no hones about It. After twenty minutes Mrs. Slmmp forgot her anger and began to enjoy the exercise. When they got home Mrs. Simmp executed a pas seul. "Oh, I’m so glad you enjoyed your outing. Aren’t you glad you didn’t stay at home and sleep, poor dfear.” With palpitating gout In one foot and excruciating corns on the other, “poor dear” eyed her flshlly. "See if you can get a doctor on the phone. This fool exchange girl says she can’t understand me.”

He Took It.

This is a cold unsympathetic world when one’s funds are low. But there Is always one commodity to be had In abundance —advice. Conrad Timms found .himself the possessor of a gnawing hunger and eleven-pence. He decided to see what that sum could aitompllsh in the way of a meal. He entered a Ixmdon restaurant, seated himself at an unoccupied table, and studied the menu. A waiter approached. "1... er want your advice, waiter,” ■aid Timms, smiling up at him. -“The truth la, I am very hungry; I have only— er—elevenpence in the world, and I want to know what vou would advise me to get?" ’ , “My advlee to you. *ir," said the waiter, gently taking up the menu “Is to get another restaurant."

Dissolution of Partnership.

A West Virginia darky, a black smith, recently announced a change tn hl* business as follows: “Notice —De copardnership heretofore reelsting between me and Mose Skinner Is hereby resolved. Dem what wre de firm will settle wtd me, and dem what de firm owes win settle wtd Mose."

Woman has an advaata®» over man In buying bats. Whan aha tada a ■tape tv astt her sbe-caa arraawMhW •■--

New York Irish World Pays Tribute to Pat O’Donnell.

Delphi Journal. Patrick H. O’Donnell, Carroll county’s noted Irish son, probably the most famous attorney in Chicago, that city of brilliant legal minds, receives a splendid tribute in the New York Irish World of Nov. 27th, which carries seveial columns devoted to his life and works, together w th a large portrait of former Washington township farmer boy, who has risen to the pinacle of being the country’s foremost orator. The tribute is too lengthy for reprint but a paragraph of it will convey to his friends in Carroll county an idea of the fame which “P. H.” ds earning. It follows: •

“To those parts of the United States outside Of Chicago—and there are as many as the stars in the flag —that know him through his political relationship, Patrick H. O’Donnell as an orator, probably the greatest orator in Aineric.i today, not even barring Bryan of the silver tongue; for his oratory is founded less on opportunism and more on fundamentals, with the added gift to rouse to frenzy the same audience that he can send into gales of mirth. Few speakers of our time can so thrill his hearers with exalted emotions of patriotism than can foe. With his Celtic power of imagery, of seizing the spirit of the crowd and shaping it as if it were plastic material until it has assumed the sculptured form of his fancy, O’Donnell has the extraordinary power of the poet superimposed upon the talent of the spellbinder, so that it is little wonder that those who haveheard ham associate him almost exclusively with his oratory.”

GILLAM.

Medaryville Advertiser. Mrs. John Bush is gradually improving. Jim Pearson and wife spent Wednesday at -Gifford. Carl Toyne and family Spent Sunday with Mead Ray oven. Ora Craver and family were Medaryville visitors Monday. Ronald Pullins spent Saturday and Sunday with home folks. Choir practice at Elmer Pullins’ last Wednesday evening. Miss Eva Faris is visiting in the southern part of Gillam this week. Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Freshour and son, Ervin, spent Monday in Medaryville. Harold Pullins has gone to Gary to work in the steel mills if he can find a vacancy. James Stevens and daughters, Virgie and .Myrtle, Fred Robey and Schuyler Robinson spent Tuesday in Rensselaer. James Stevens and Fred Robey and families spent Monday with Mead Raybum and family. Word was received last week from Pad Freshour, of Cedar Edge, Colo., telling of the arrival of a baby girl named Sarah Elizabeth. Mr. and Mrs. Earl Faris and daughter, Lois, came Monday from Hurbert, where they have been visiting Wm. 'QueiTy and family. They will spend the remainder of their time in Gillam.

Rev. J. P. Green will leave the first of the week for Kearney, Neb., where he will'visit for tnree or four-weeks with a married adopted daughter. He has disposed of his furinture repair business to Floyd Griggs.

Father Andrew Geitl has continued to fail and his death seems now a matter of only a short time, possibly only a few hours. The gangrenous condition that resulted in the amputation of one toe has übsided but the diabetes, which had caused him toruble for ten years or more, is the cause of his trouble. He had treated this for a long time, making a good fight. A trip .to Europe shortly before the war was made in the hope that it would prove beneficial to his health. He is a cousin of Mrs. Henry Eigelsbach and was left an orphan when just a boy and was raised by Mrs. Eigelsbach’s father. He was a great worker and one of the most loved priests -ever associated with teh work at the Indian school.

ANOTHER LINK WITH MONTI CELLO.

Monticello Citizens Add Their Praise. Another link with our neighboring town of Monticello is provided in the following grateful and generous statement of a well-known resident there, Mr. Thomas H. Graves, Railroad St., who says: “I had a severe attack of lumbago and my back became so stiff and sore that I could not stoop. I had a dull, throbbing ache through my kidneys and loins and a distressing kidney weakness. I doctored and used medicine of various kinds, but nothing helped me until I took Doan's Kidney Pills. This medicine went to the seat of the trouble and three boxes made a cure.”

Price 50c, at I*ll dealers. Don’t simply ask for a kidney remedy—get Doan’s Kidney Pills—the same that Mr. Graves had. Foster-Milburn Co., Props., Buffalo, N. Y.

Poultry For Christmas.

I am in the market for poultry for the Christmas market and wilt pay 18 cents for No. 1 turkeys 10 cents for geese and 11 cents for /ducks. If you have dressed turkeys, geese or ducks call me up or come and see me. -C. E. PRIOR, Fancy Produce Margefe Phone Bft.

THE erfNING VBPtmtICAX. RENBSELAKR, TVD.

stt/IgKiS DUVALL’S shop C. EARL DUVALL Up-to-date, Clothier, Furnisher, Hatter We now have on display the greatest line of Christmas Gifts ever shown in our city which should make buying easy for the men folks. iKI CHRISTMAS PBB SUGGESTIONS lAIli Men’s suits Z 4 i vF S' C ’ V > - /f I Men’s overcoats —' — p IfrC I Boys’suits J&p'Z ® 1 tC/IX J noys overcoats .4/ /ntOM 1 1 jw?.l * 1 'lk 4Pr il Lounging robes I’Skiafz / Housecoats Ml C HI JPbIIFMackinaws gSiSgS Z"| ill/i t 1 Brown’s Beach Jackets ’■F I k/** Fur overcoats Flannel Shirts Jersey Sweaters i OZ/p) x Sweater coats, slip-on 7 . KOLv 9 *’ raincoats, cravanettes, ■ Wq V* Munsing union suits, I Knockabout overcoats, /vJjSk Stetson hats, Kings- / I /z/fl *)/i\ A bury hats, fur caps, cloth caps, knit caps, traveling bags, suit J ®UM cases, fiber bags, collar WL j jkJ I* bags, polo caps, boys IIW iyr hats, initial handkerchiefs, silk handker- p, Hi 7 JMn ; chiefs, tie racks, traveling sets, pocket sets, I |l z | tie sets, combination sets, tie pincombina- I If I VruT/ ti°n, swell neckwear, knit mufflers, silk \Av ! mufflers, Phoenix Hose, swell gloves, warm wl m^ens ’ driving gloves, auto gloves, silk shirts, Xmas boxed hose, Xmas boxed sus- ’ penders, Bradley mufflers, extra trousers, I swell dress shirts. * ■= C. EARLDIIVUL •SSSSSSSeSSSj'. . r...-. ■ J.. - '-Ji' --- ■ ■7 ' '' ' . ? _ r . Vi ,