Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 282, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 November 1915 — Page 2

Gales of GOTHAM and other CITIES

Milwaukee Girls Learning Housekeeping on SSOO

MILWAUKEE. —"I might just as well die right now. There certainly won’t be anything left for me to eat or wear after my husband and three small children have been taken care of. so I might Just as well die.”

Here are a few of the things taught to girls in the Milwaukeeschools: The feeding and care of children, laundry work, actual practice, first aid to the injured, emergency and home nursing, marketing and household account-

***’ it makes no difference how many millions her father may have, if a Milwaukee high-school co-ed elects to take the domestic science course she must stand over the waahtub and wash her own clothes and. after they are M. MMb K there are stains in the garment she mustremove them. If the garment is faded she will be taught to make her own bleaches to use on the fabric until It becomes pure white. If she doesn t want a wh e g *** experiments in ap^j!. ionlD * * Fach girt is given an income, ranging from SSOO to $2,000, and q jTdlvide It so that there shall be a proper proportion for rent, food £d other expenses. Then she is required to take the allowance for for each week and figure out a series of menus which can ! he sum allowed, and which will give the greatest possible food value for money expended.

Kansas City Business Men Are Becoming Sylphs

KANSAS CITY.-Visitors to Kansas City havebeencommentingoflatepn graceful svlnhlike figures possessed by many of the city s mia die-aged business men. Not so long ago these gentlemen were moaning about

their physical architecture, for the part of them from riba to hips —their itining rooms, so to speak—had assumed the appearance of bay windows. "Hey, doc!" said a man thus afflicted to Dr. J. A. Reilly, physical director of the Kansas City Athletic club. "What am I going to do about this?” "That’s easy,” said "Doc" Reilly. "Just give it away.”

“But, doc, I wouldn’t wish this on any of my slim, trim, natty friends if I could, much as I hate them for their greyhound waists.” "I didn’t mean that.” the physical expert said. “I mean give it back to ok Mother Nature, who handed it to you. Stationary running is the little old Santa Claus who will carry it back to her. , . > "Stand with your hands against the wall at a point three or four inches, on a slope, from the shoulders. Hold your head up so you can breathe. Then run. Heels ofT the floor; every step on the ball of the foot. Lift the knees; not too high at first. . “Do this twice a day, morning and evening. Run 50 steps at a time th firtt day, counting them aloud. When I say aloud. 1 mean loud. Wrench the sound out of you with a heave and a grunt. Increase the number of steps by ten and fifteen for a few days. In a week you should be running three or four minutes at a time by the watch. In ten days you will notice a diminishing waist line.” , . .. , , The man spread the Joyful news, and now many members of the club may be seen "running” daily, and waist lines have come back.

New York Puts Chile Penguin Among Its Fish

MEW YORK. —When did the penguin become a fish? That is the question W that is being propounded by numerous visitors to the aquarium. The dictionary say ß an aquarium is a place where fish are kept. But there is a a - tho onnoriiim SometilH6S

waters. In the morning it wore a contented look. But there were no fi6h in the tank. , ' The penguin had to have a home, so it was put in a tank with the crocodiles alligators and shellfish. It tried to eat them, but without result. Now the penguin has to be fed, and although homesick it devours at every meal a pound of herrings, for which it shows a preference over codfish. It spends the greater part of the day on the gravel roof as a general rule. There is no danger of the penguin flying away, because, although it has wings it cannot fly. The wings are only useful for swimming. The penguin is the most docile inhabitant of the aquarium, as it never shows any temper and permits anyone to stroke its neck. *’l know now where the women got the notion of wearing furs in the summer." said one of the attaches. "They adopted it from the penguin. In the summer he grows a lot of fuzzy feathers about his neck, and in the winter they disappear, leaving his neck exposed just like the throats of the women you see wearing furs in the summer, but who have open collars in the cold weather." %

Voice Culture for New York Subway Guards

mtEW YORK.—Training subway guards to call distinctly and in one breath N names of express and local stations on their runs is the task now being performed by the Interborough professors in the school of instruction at

West Farms. Variegated voices come to this mill to be ground. The leading vocalists prove to be truck drivers and longshoremen. All nations contribute sons to the service. The big ti.it is to get the Italian, the Corkonf««, the cockney, the Portuguese, the Frenchman and the Cuban to shout "Astor place!” in the pitch found to carry clear shove the din of under* ground traffic. . Day after day the candidates are run through their paces In the instruc-

thm car, each if**"™ talcing an hour and a quarter. First the guard has to ainir off the local stations, say from the Bridge to Fourteenth street. There 1s no swish of passing trains or whir of motors to give him the key. He •trikes a note that Is too low. The Instructor warns him not to stand between cars so* throw his voice out into the tube. Guard takes heed, places one foot inside the platform and shouts ahead so his voice is sent forward Hie far, The pitch this time is high enough to distinguish the call above ' TjwTplan is to get all the dialects and accents so Americanised as to fMta tfce n«m«i of subway stops understood by the Interborough patrons, no whether the voice halls from Kerry, Whitechapel, BrtUanj

Shouts of laughter greeted this woebegone lament. The speaker was a sophomore In the South division of the Milwaukee high school. As part of her work in the household arts department. she was wrestling with the problem of apportioning an annual salary of SSOO so that all the needs of a family of five would be met, with a little left for a bank account. “I haven’t any money left for meals on Sunday; I guess we’ll have to be invited out,” sighed a class-mate.

penguin at the aquarium. Sometimes it can be seen and sometimes it can t, but if you want to Bee it look up at the roof. A short time ago, while cruising off the coast of Chile. W. D. Swartridge of this city captured a penguin. He brought it here, and,- having no use for it himself, sent it to the aquarium. There it has remained and has proved a veritable white elephant. The penguin was put into a tank with a number of fish from southern

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN. RENSSELAERJP-^

An interesting phase of the new fashions is the two-piece evening dress combining a wrap with the frock, and the two-piece costume incorporating a frock and matching coat. The former finds its most artistic exponent in a Callot evening gown, mads of shell-pink velvet draped on elastic lines and markedly narrow as contracted with the general run of skirts. The drapery is drawn up at one side and caught against the bodice with a large rose several shades deeper than the velvet of the frock. At first sight the bodice seems the simplest sort of a creation. It is cut In one with the skirt and very slightly draped through the waist line. The neck is cut in a deep square outline, and across the shoulders there are

Certain “Coats for Winter Motoring

Certain fur coats, made of skins not treated to. change their appearance (except that some of them are dyed) make the warmest and smartest motor coats. Pony skins, leopard skin and unplucked seal are chosen for this kind of wear by those wito intend to face the cold with comfort and achieve a triumph of smart appearance at the same time. The pony Bkin is dyed black usually, although there is no good reason why the beautiful brown and white markings should be changed, if the coat is only to be worn in the car. But the black pony skin coat is* as practical for all sorts of wear as a heavy cloth coat, and as a happy choice for all-winter ajl-round use. One of the best models is shown in the picture. It is cut with ample shoulder width, straight and roomy sleeves, and fastens to one side. The sleeves are gathered in to rather dosefitting cuffs. The wide collar will roll up about the neck as high as is needed, or may be turned back. The model ls cut on straight lines, enfolding the figure closely. It Is as appropriate for the street as for the car. Leopard and unplucked seal are not dyed, but made up to feature their markings. They are handsome and unusual, and are more expensive than pony-

Dress and Coat Combination

bands of small rhinestones that connect the front and back of the garment. Like many of the new Paris models, this dress exploits a train. It appears to be a part of the drapery, and graduates into a mere bit of a point at the end. The frock itself is beautiful, but this quality is enhanced when It is worn with the mantle which was particularly designed for it. The mantle is of black velvet, lined throughout with pink velvet like that which composes the gown. The neck is finished with a collarette of black ostrich feathers, absolutely straight and arranged to give a double fringe effect. The dress and coat combination is one that will appeal to American women who like novelty associated with practical qualities.

Cloth coats In the heaviest wool mixtures, designed for motor wear, are made in a great variety of styles and colors,. They are cut with a flare from the shoulders, as a rule, and are often belted in, as in the coat shown here. This is made with raglan sleeves and big patch pockets, and is finished with machine stitching. Many models have wide collars that button close , about the neck. The fad for mufflers and cape of yarn to match, makes the big collar less imperative, but is always a safe choice.

Thin Fabrics Worn.

As the season progresses the vogue of transparent fabrics for evening frocks increases. There is nothing prettier for the debutante's first ball, or for the opera, than a frock of white talle, soft and billowy,’ with flounces and frills, and with panniers of mother-of-pearj pailleted net. Silver and gold lace and fine net embroidered in gold or silver form flounces on many charm ing frocks.

China yearly exports 8,900 leopard skins.

GATHERED SMILES

NO TEMPTATION.

Mrs. Earlydawn—Get up. daughter. Remember, It’s the early bird that gets the worm. Daughter—Let him have ’em. 1 think worms are horrid, anyway.

The Usual Result.

When modern Action writers try Their thoughts to serve up hot. We get erotic novels—with The accent on the “rot."

Grim Humor.

“Seems like you’ve had an accident here,” said the farmer, as he brought his team of fat mules to a halt “No.” replied the motorist, who was crawling painfully from under his wrecked car. “I’ve just played a practical joke on my wife.” “How’s that?” “She thinks she’s going to a matinee this afternoon in this car."

Resented.

“What I want to see,” said Diogenes, “is an honest man.” “And when you see him, what will you do?” “I’ll simply go my way. A thoroughly honest man generally has positive opinions of his own, and, therefore, is liable not to be very good company.”

A Straight Tip.

“I hear your engagement with young Cashleigh is off?” said the first fair daughter of Eve. “Well, you are entitled to another hearing,” answered fair daughter No. 2, as she held up a graceful hand on which a solitaire sparkled. “You see for yourself that I am still in the ring.”

Very Much So.

“There is an extremely paradoxical way of freezing out a man in business.” “How’s that?” “By hot competition.”

Surmises.

“I wonder what sort of life the people lead who live on Mars.” “Do you suppose that for pets they have moon dogs?”

Night Views Only.

City Resident—That’s a very pretty suburban town you live in, Jones. Distant Suburbanite —Yes, I hope to see it by daylight myself some time.

A Personal Tragedy.

“The stranger you saw took me apart to tell me a startling story.” “What happened then?” “I could not pull ’myself together.”

Limited Experience.

Mistress (to new girl)—We entertain a good deal. Have you had much experience at parties? " Girl —Only as a guest, mum.

COULDN’T HELP IT.

“I love you more than life." ~% “But Just stop and think what a life you lead, and it’s no wonder."

The Human Masquerade.

Men move along as in a dream. With uniforms and paint. ’Most everybody tries to seem. Somebody that be ain’t.

Force of Habit.

1 Mr. Staylate—l often think. Miss Susie, how I will come to die. Bored Hostess—l wouldn’t like to frighten you, Mr. Staylate, but I’m sure it will be of something lingerto*.

Retort Courteous.

“That "»»n has an unfair advantage over me in a swimming match. He can’t go down, for he’s got a cork leg.” “Yes, but it won’t float any better than your head.”

IN DESPAIR.

"I give up!” exclaimed Mr. Dodsworth. "There’s no use trying to please a woman.” “Confide in me,” urged Mr. Twobble, sympathetically. "My wife went away for two weeks and left me at home to keep house.” "Well?" “I neglected my business to wash dishes and clean up, so everything would be in apple-pie order when she returned.” “And wasn’t she pleased?” “Umph! She looked around the well-kept rooms —if I do say it, they were as neat as a pin—and then eyeing me suspiciously, she ‘Henry, where did you stay while I was gone?”’

His Plea.

••Well, Cuddyhump,” said Squire Peavy, addressing a colored citizen who was suspected of having wandered from the straight and narrow path, “what have you to say for yourself?” “Des dis. yo’ honah —dis yuh am muh prevarication,” was the reply. “Nemmine wadder I’s guilty or not, but dess tempt mercy wid jestice and tuhn me loose. Tuhn me loose, sah, and sho’s yo' bawn I’ll do as much for yo some time!”

Had Many Accomplices.

Judge—Did you commit the burglary alone or with the help of others? Prisoner—With the help of about 5,000 others. Judge—What? Explain yourself. Prisoner—Well, you see. judge, the parade called everybody in the house to the front windows, so I had a clear chance to do me work in the back. — Boston Transcript.

BLACK AND BLUE.

“How do you like my bang? They’re all the style this season.” “It’s much more decorative than the bang I saw over Mrs. Jones’ eye this morning.”

Knew Her Lesson.

He kissed the maid upon the cheek. And when the deed was done. The Good Book’s teaching she obeyed— And turned the other one.

Involved Advice.

“I have destined my son eventually for the bench.” “Then if he is to sit on the bench, I think you had better caution him about standing so much at the bar.”

Still Extant.

“Uncle Jim, have dragons gone out of existence?” “Oh, no, my lad. You can see one almost any day chaperoning a pretty girl.”—Judge.

Took Umbrage.

“What was the trouble between you and that barber?” “I simply asked him what was the damage. I meant the amount due him, but he took it as a reflection on his ability.”

Spreading Everywhere.

"Yes, I saw plenty of native dancing girls in India.’ “And did you see those wonderful native dances?” “Naw; they wouldn’t dance ’em. They are all crazy over the one-step.”

Chance for Inventors.

New Arrival —Me leg’s most broke. I’ve heard th’ Amerykins was a nation av inventors, but, bedad, it doesn't look loike it. Friend— Phwy not?” New Arrival —Sure, phwy hovn’t they inventid a coal hole that will shtay shut phwin it’s open?”

Retort Courteous.

She — I never helped you to make a fool of yourself, -r-t He—You didn’t? Didn’t yon marry me?

Just So.

“Row is the fair sex taking to the ankle watch?" “Oto, as might be expected." “How's that?” "Those who have trim ankles are for it, those who haven’t are not."

Patriotic Industry.

“So they are finding out how to manufacture colors for our own trade.” “Yes; the manufacturers have been spurred on by a desire to dye for their country."