Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 261, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 November 1915 — Page 2

JUST JTOMOff

WASTED A LOT OF TOUCHING

Perspiring, Stout Individual Discover* He Has Squandered Energy In Pushing Elevator Buttons. On the eighth floor of one of Salt Lake's office buildings a stout man raced perepiringly the circuit of the signal buttons of the four elevators. “Why touch them all?” asked a thin man. “Because I want to catch the first car down,” ahswered the stout one determinedly, the while he mopped his brow and waited with a confident expression of having corralled the service. “But the touching of any of the four buttons signals the first elevator going down,” protested the cadaverous i«imi “Is that not right?” he asked the elevator boy as they stepped aboard a car. The youth answered In the affirmative upon hearing an explanation of the question. "Well." aaid the stout party. “I've sure been wasting a lot of button touching.”—Salt Lake Tribune.

ALL BARE.

“Do you approve of these barefoot dances?” “No; they are too barefaced.”

Proof of Innocence.

“That’s Green sitting at that table over there, and with a woman not his wife." “Where?” “Over there.” “So it is. But she's some relative of his.” “Do you know her?” “No, but even Green wouldn’t dine with such a homely woman unless she were related to him.”

Contained No Thought.

“Litewaite says he wanted to get that speech he just now delivered ‘off his chest.’ ’’ “I don't like slang. Why didn’t he say ‘off his mind’?" - “Perhaps his remark was more applicable than you suppose. So far as I could judge, his speech was nothing but sound.”

Such a Tenderness.

Wise —I had to discharge the cook today. Husband —What for? Wise —Oh, she got so tender-hearted she didn’t do her work properly. Husband —Is that so? Wise —Yes. Why, only this morning she refused to beat the eggs or whip the cream.

Costly Items.

“The Twobbles complain that married life is dreadfully expensive.” “Why, they don’t appear to spend much money.” “No, you don’t see them spending it, but Mr. Twobble employs a detective to watch Mrs. Twobble and she retains one to watch him."

Dark Outlook.

Hojax—l told Miss Gotrox last night that she was the light of my existence. Tomdix —Then what? Hojax—Then her father called from the head of the stairs and the light went out.

Feminine Charity.

Little Lemuel —Say, paw, what did maw mean when she said Mrs. Jones was queer. Paw—lt means, son, that your maw was too charitable to express her real opinion of Mrs. Jones.

The Strenuous Life.

First Would-be Sport—l’m getting sleepy. Guess 11l go home and turn Second Would-be Sport—The idea! Why, it isn’t daylight yet.

No Impression.

Him —Excuse me, but may I print Just one little ldss on your ruby lips. Her—No; ] don’t like your type.

BULLET HITS “EARLY BIRD”

Soldier Would Have Escaped Being Wounded by Leaden Missile Had He Been Becond Later. Private Blank was known to all his chums as “the early bird.” probably because it was an exact description of the very opposite to what he really was. for “the early bird” was always late, the last man to get out of bed at reveille and the last man on parade, and when his regiment sailed for France his chums declared that he was the last into the transport ship and the last out of 1L When bis regiment was doing its spell in the trenches “the early bird” was sent for by his officer, and as he was creeping along the trench towards the dugout a stray bullet caught him in the shoulder, Just as he was outside his officer’s shelter. After seeing that he wasn't seriously wounded, the officer explained, with a twinkle in his eye, “If you had Just been a second earlier you would have missed that.” “I would, sir,” returned Private Blank, “or if I had been a second later It would have missed me.” —London Tit-Bits.

New Type of Prodigal.

“The people in his home town said he never would amount to anything.” “And now he’s rich. I presume he went back and paid off the mortgage on the old home place, or did something of that sort.” “No. This old home place wasn’t mortgaged. He went back and demoralized his good old parents by giving them a high-power automobile. Now they are the worst speeders In tdwn."

He Let It Go.

Fault Finder (in front of dairy restaurant) —I notice the word ‘Dairy’ on your new sign is spelled d-i-a-r-y." Proprietor—l know it is. I was going to have it changed, but the painter convinced me his way of spelling the word was more suggestive. Fault Finder—More suggestive? Proprietor—Yes; he said it conveyed the idea of putting things down. —Judge.

A Dire Threat.

“I know a man married to a woman who hasn't a single living relative.” “Fine! He certainly can’t have any trouble with her relatives if they are all dead.” “I don’t know about that. lfvery time they have a spat she threatens to visit a spiritualist and call up two or three of the most cantankerous ones.”

Professional Advice.

“Well, what's the trouble now?” asked the gruff old doctor of a chronic patient. “Oh, doctor,” whined the professional invalid, “I feel such an awful pain in my side every time I raise my hand to my head.” “Huh!” grunted the wise M. D., “then don't raise your hand to your head. Two dollars, please.”

TOO EMINENT.

“Why don’t you ask your office boy to wash those windows?” “I ain’t got the nerve to do it, old man. He was the valedictorian of his class.”

Others to Blame.

“I’ll not put up any longer with your willful extravagance,” said Mr. Cobbles. “But it isn’t willful,” said Mrs. Cobbles, on the verge of tears. “What do you mean by such preposterous language?” “Simply this. I’m not setting the pace, I’m merely trying to follow it.”

Exception to the Rule.

“Remember,” said the professor, “that the effect is always preceded by the cause.” “Beg pardon, professor,” interrupted the wise student, “but in the case of a man cutting grass with a lawnmower, doesn’t the cause follow the effect?”

Pathetic Yearning.

“For seventeen years I’ve been a straphanger on this road.” “And you have no complaint tA make?" “None in particular, although I have often wished that I could see what the scenery looks Uke.” -———

At the Eleventh Hour.

The Henchman —I understand you have decided to give up politics. The Boss —Yes, that’s right. I’ve reached the age where a man should begin to lead an honest life.

Unusual Case.

“He’s very fond of the outdoor ‘Til bet he’* a bookkeeper." “No. Strange as it mar seem he really works outdoors.”

TIIE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

VON MACKENSEN IN NORTHERN POLAND

General von Mackensen. the famous German commander, is here shown lording a small stream in northern Poland to obtain personal observation of a stiff rear-guard action with the Russians.

THRICE IS HERO OF PRISON CAMP

Story of the Deeds of Auguste the Little French Tailor. NOW HE WANTS TO FIGHT Three Timet He Wrecks Plant Where Asphyxiating Gas Bombs Are Made and Twice Escapes to His Own Lines. Paris. —It was in Nantes that I met this little man I am going to tell you about, and I think I will tell you the whole incident, Just as it happened to me, so that you can see in what a queer, unexpected way one may run against a hero. I found him on the railroad quai in a French provisional town in the shape of an undersized tailor, slightly bald and forty-two years old. Nantes Is one of the twelve cities of France that have statues In the Place de la Concorde, in Paris. One passes through there on the way to and from the coast towns of southern Brittany and, having come from St. Nazaire, I was waiting in the Gare d’Orleans in Nantes for the train to Paris and meanwhile trying to find my porter to see if he had all my luggage gathered in one place. I found him at the far end of the quai, with my bags at his feet, talking to a young girl wearing the Breton coiffe and the wide-sleeved Breton costume. “Auguste has come,” the girl was saying as I approached. “He arrived last night from Paris, and came to our house this morning.” My porter touched his cap to me. “Everything is here, monsieur,” he said, “and the train will stop directly opposite us on the No. 1 line. This is my sister Madeleine, who has. come to tell me about Auguste.” Very Proud of Auguste. “Auguste is our cousin,” explained Madeleine, “and he is coming to the station to see my brother. My brother was his favorite when we were children. Here he is now!” she cried. And I turned and saw a group of three advancing along the quai. A lame girl was on one side and on the other was a tall man in baggy corduroy trousers, while between them was a small man, wearing trousers that were too long for him and a brown sack coat and gray cap. He

KEEPING DOWN HIS WEIGHT

! Former President Taft puts in all of his spare time on the golf links in an effort to keep down his weight. He is here seen starting off for the ninth hole.

had a heavy brown mustache that hung well over his mouth and turned up toward his eyes in great, sweeping curves. A grayish stubble of beard ornamented his cheeks, and when he took his cap off I saw that he was beginning to get bald. He looked not so much like an old man as like one who had recently been through a severe sickness. There were deep lines in his cheeks and myriad little wrinkles around his eyes, while the skin hung loose and flabby on his neck and his complexion was of a grayish pallor. After the affectionate greetings were over my porter turned to me and said: “This is my cousin Auguste, monsieur. He is Just home from Germany.” “Then you are a soldier?” I asked, as I shook hands with him. "Not yet,” he replied. “The government has given me fifteen days’ leave before I join my regiment.” “Auguste has done his service,” said Madeleine. They were all very proud of their cousin and stood close around him in a little circle. “But yes,” said Auguste. “I did my three years before I went to Germany, and I have been home every year since for my two weeks’ training. I was Just coming home last year when the war broke out, and they made me prisoner.” “Oh,” I said. “So you have been in one of the internment camps." Auguste Is a Prisoner. “It is so, monsieur,” he replied. “Three days before war was declared they took me and all the other Frenchmen and made us prisoners in a camp.” “Before war was declared?” “But yes, monsieur, three days before war was declared.” “Where was that?” “It was in Saxony, monsieur. I would not want to say too closely. My wife and children are still there, and it would be bad for them. But it was not far from Dresden." “Were your wife and children also made prisoners?” “My wife is German and my children were born in Germany.” “And how long have you lived in Germany?” “Fifteen years.” “But you have come home every year?” “To do my training.” “And now you have escaped and come back to France.” “To fight for France,” he said. I marveled at that small man with the little bald spot, the stubbly gray beard, the sickbed pallor and the baggy trousers that were too long for him. “How old are you?” I asked. “Forty-two years since last month, monsieur,” he replied. “And what is your business?” “I am a tailor.” I could no longer be astonished. "Were there many prisoners in your camp?” I asked. “At first there were not very many,” he said. “But soon they began to bring in soldiers, French, Russian and English, and then there were very many of us. They did not treat us very well except when the American ambassador came to inspect the camp. We were well treated and well fed then, but after he had gone we lived on bread and water for a week to make up for the expense while he was there.” - “Did you have to work?” “Only the French. The English and Russians did not have to work, but they built a factory for making asphyxiating gas shells and the French prisoners had to work in that factory.” “Did you work in it?” “I wrecked it three times,” he replied. “It made 40,000 shells a week. The first time I damaged the furnace, and it took them four days to repair it. Then I spoiled the acid tanks and they ran for more than four weeks, making shells that were worthless before they fqpnd it out. The third time I wrecked the furnace again md it took three days to repair it. But then they began to suspect me, monsieur. They watched me too closely. I could be of no more use there, and —well, drew a plan of the factory and escaped. It is for that plan that the government has given me fifteen days’ leave before I join my regiment.” “Was It hard to get away?” “My wife did not want me to go. She was afraid they would capture me and shoot me”

“Tour wife?” “Yes," he replied. "When I escaped from the camp I went to say good-by to my wife and children. My wife cried and begged me to go back and give nfyself up. She said 1 was sure to be captured and then I would be shot. But her sister came in while I was there. Her sister’s husband and his two brothers are fighting in the German army. One of his brothers has been wounded and has the Iron Cross. And she said that I was right to go. She said that I was French, and it was right for me to want to fight for France. She told my wife to let me go. So I kissed my wife and children and came back to France. “It was In June that I escaped, and they caught me just as I got to the Swiss border and started to take me back again. But I escaped once more and this time got here. It took me two months.” "Haven’t you done enough?” I asked. “Do you want to fight now?” “Oh!” he cried, raising his clenched fists, “give me a gun and a bayonet in my hands!”

INVENTS POCKET WIRELESS

New York Man Has Apparatus That Sends and Receives Messages at Distance of 18 Miles. Dr. H. Barrington Cox of Bedford Hills, N. Y., has invented a compact and efficient wireless receiving and lending apparatus which may be strapped about the waist and safely hidden in the folds of a cloak so that it would be invisible to an unsuspecting person. The sending apparatus consists of a box in which

are five dry cells and a vibrator. The electric pulsations are started by tapping a telegraph key, and the current which the doctor says if modified with a hidden transformer of his invention, sends out its messages in waves long and short. The equivalent to a half watt or one-eightieth as much as is required for the ordinary electric light bulb is the amount of electricity necessary. From the box projects a wire. In warfare use this wire is carried down the leg of the soldier, and connected with a metal plate or spur in the shoe. The receiving instrument consists of a drum about which is a coil of wires. On top of this is a very fine deflector. It has a pair of ear pieces such as are worn by telephone operators. Doctor Cox can send and receive messages by his instrument over a distance of 18 miles. The picture shows Doctor Cox with his cane (or receiver) raised for a message.

SEEK SQUAWS AS BRIDES

Mexicans Make Love to Indian Maids Who Own Land in State of Wisconsin. Ashland, Wis.—C. E. Redfleld of Santa Clara, Cal.,, allotting agent for the United States government, here to allot 35,000 acres on the Bad River reservation to 645 members of the tribe, brought from California a bundle of applications from Mexico for Chippewa brides. But he thinks the Mexicans are seeking the squaws more for the sake of the land than any personal endearments.

STORES OLD VIOLINS IN BANK

Baltimore Society Man Thinks Hobby Will Some Day Make Him Rich. Baltimore. —In the vaults of the Mercantile Trust company, where thousands of dollars’ worth of securities and other valuables lie, more than a score of vioiihs have* been packed away by Frank Della Torre, a prominent society man. In twenty years, Torre thinks the instruments will be worth $4,000 or $5,000 each.

Brick Cures Crossed Eye.

Natchez, Miss. When Charles Wright went into a light with another boy Wright had a badly crossed eye which had been defective since birth. The enemy hurled a half brick at Wright, braising his cheek, bnt it permanently straightened the crossoA optic.

A Patriot’s Prayer

By REV. JAMES M. CRAY

Dm* as Moody BU« I mm*m erf Oucaao

TEXT—I . . . prayed.—Nehemiah 1:4. Nehemiah was a great man, a great statesman, a great administrator, a

tivity to their beloved Palestine, but they were not prospering very well since their return. Some of them on a visit to Persia had been telling him about it. They were in great affliction they said, and in great reproach from their enemies round about. The walls of Jerusalem had never been repaired since they had been burned down by Nebuchadnezzar 150 years before, and the result was they had no protection against assault. Man Deeply Affected. This deeply affected Nehemiah, so that he sat down and actually wept. When patriotism moves us to weep for our country it looks like the real thing, especially when it is followed by something else as it was here. The weeping was accompanied by, fasting also, so different from the modem way of showing patriotism, which not infrequently takes the form of a banquet with speeches. This fasting lasted for days, he must have been alone in it; but at length it came to a head in prayer. Oh, if our statesmen, and politicians and reformers only knew the secret! How much more they could accomplish at the Throne of Grace than by legislation, and conferences, and harangues, and newspaper articles. A Wonderful Prayer. It was a wonderful prayer this. First, it was so unselfish. He was not praying for himself but for people, who, for the most part, he did not know and had never seen. They were his countrymen, that was all, and they were in sore need. How much do we ever pray for our southern negroes, or the mountain whites, or the dejected Indians on our western plains, or our dependents in the Philippines? What real interest have we in either their material or spiritual condition? Second, it was such a humble prayer.. Somehow or other he felt a sense of personal responsibility for tho condition of his countrymen afar off though they were. He confessed to sin in the premises, and included his “father’s house” in his confession. If he and his ancestors had acted differently things would not have been as they were. What do we know of that? Third, the prayer was helpful nevertheless. Hopeful, because he had a strong promise of God to rest upon. “Remember thy word,” he said, and then he quoted that word. Can you do that? You must know the promises to be able to do it, and you know the promiser also. How much do you search God’s word to discover its treasures for yourself or others, and how much do you exercise yourself to bring them down from heaven for life on earth? Nehemiah just agreed with God about this matter. Ah! that is power. Read the chapter for yourself and see how he did it. Fourth, the prayer was very definite. He didn't go round Robin Hood’s bam as the saying is. He didn’t moutb out a lot of fine phrases or pious notnings. He told God just what he wanted and when he wanted it, if it would please him to give it. He was going to stand before the king on a certain day in his capacity as cup-bearer, and that would be a good time to ask a favor of.the king. He was going to ask him that he might be commissioned as governor of Jerusalem to go up there and build the walls and deliver his people out of their affliction. The king must be disposed to grant the request, and he asked God so to dispose him. Why do not the rest of us cultivate that simplicity and directness? How interesting it would make both our private and public devotions, and how it would enhanceGod’s glory as we thus came to look for answers to what we asked. Fifth, the prayer was successful, of course. “It pleased the king to send me,” says he, “and I set him a time.” The God of Nehemiah still lives and nothing is too hard for him. The promise in Philippians reads: "Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.” Our national Thanksgiving day will soon be hero again, and if sincerely we count our national blessings during the past, year, it will be the best preparation, for that earnest prayer we so much seed. Afflictions are upon Us in certain quarters and perils are ahead and greatly do we as a nation need God^

great leader of men. But he was great in the spiritual realm as well, he had great power with God. Although a Jew, yet he dwelt in Persia and occupied a position of peculiar influence at court; he was the king’s cupbearer. It was some time after the return of his countrymen from that land Of their cap-