Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 234, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 October 1915 — The Breaking Point. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Breaking Point.

She never looked lovelier than tonight, In her Argentine basque with soap work Insertions, yet, as be took Ids bat he laughed harshly. "All Is over between us," he gritted through his teeth. "I told you time and time again that any girl who powders her face forelts her engagement, and now I Vlll prove it! Have I been engaged to’a girl or a clown?" "Winklewood," she moaned. “Give me one more chance. It shall never happen again!” "You have had your warning," he replied, still gritting, and slamming the door. "I will go to a barber shop and try to forget," he muttered, and was soon ensconced in Angelo Vespaecl’s tonsorial operating chair. "Shave me, then a massage with # cocoanut oil, then bay rum, a hollyhock rub, a little cream of lily and a crude oil hair treatment,” he ordered, i An hour later, somewhat lighter of ; spirit, he walked home, scenting the air for a block in every direction and si ill reflecting on the fearful fashions ot foolish females. Would Accompany Her, There is in Brooklyn a young, recently married couple who have been having the usual half-pathetic and wholly amusing experiences incident to somewhat limited -means and total inexperience. Last Saturday there was a hitch in the delivery of the marketing, and Sunday found them with a practically empty larder. When dinner time came the young wife burst into tears. "Oh, this is horrible!” she wept. "Not a thing in this house for n d"g to eat! lam going home to mamma!" "If you don’t mind, dear,” the husband exclaimed, as he visibly brightened and reached for his hat, "I'll go with you!" The Instructor Was Mistaken. A member of an athletic club, after swimming the length of a large tank in the basement of the institution, came out puffing and blowing, apparently exhausted. "You don’t manage your breathing right,” said the Bwimming Instructor *lt ought not to tire you so. As to the upper part of your body, Including your arms, you use exactly the same muscles and in very much the same way in swimming as in sawing wood." "No, I don't,” gasped the swimmer. "When it comes to sawing wood I use the muscles of some other man." Unprintable. Bill, the foreman, went to the railway office to report an accident on the line. He was handed a form to fill up, and got on first rate until he came to the space for "Remarks." "What’s the matter, Bill?" asked the clerk. "Well, you see,” said Bill, "It was Pat Murphy’s big toe as was hit wid th’ hammer and It wouldn’t luk well for me to write down the remarks wot Murphy made.”

What Wat the Use? The Englishman was attending his first ball game. He. seemed very uneasy after the fifth inning and finally, said to his American friend: "I say, old chap, when do they serve the tea?” ' “They don’t serve tea at ball games,” laughed the American. “No tea between innings," gasped the Englishman. "Then what’s the object of the blooming game?” f Always a Way. Tramp—“ Please, mum, I don’t want nothin' but the privilege of sittin’ here and listenin’ to Madame Patti, th’ great prlma donna, sing.” Mrs. Young wife—“ Goodness me! she Isn’t here.” “Pardon, mum, hut I hear her now.” “Why, that’s my baby crying. But don’t go. Dinner will be ready soon.” He Meant Well. “But, Captain Hawley,” said the handsome Miss Piute coquettlshly, “will you love me when I grow old and ugly*" “My dear Miss Piute,” answered the captain gallantly, “you may grow older, but yoh will never grow uglier.” And he wondered why their friendship ceased so suddenly. \ ' No Discrimination. A prisoner In one of the Irish' police courts the other day was asked his callings that be followed from time to time. “And among all other things,” Inquired the prosecutor, "do you pick pockets?” * “No.” he retorted, “I»don’t gtfck them; I just take them asjthey come.”

Bill. I know of a Job