Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 234, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 October 1915 — Near to Nature [ARTICLE]

Near to Nature

“He's such a fine man, the one Gertie Filklns Is going to marry,” said the woman embroidering a doily. “What I especially like about him is his devotion to nature and outdoor sports." The woman with the obvious cold In her head groaned. "Stop her!" she moaned frantically. "Stop Gertie before it is too late! Look at me! My husjhand loves nature, too —and if I hadn’t been born to be hanged I’d have been dead long ago from pneumonia. We went back to our cottage at the lake after we got the children in school and Henry said 1 should now have a real rest and bit of recuperation before the winter season. So he decided we’d better go fishing. “Now, I am an active person, and Ashing is my- idea of nothing to do. I told Henry I had a million letters to write and all his stocking to mend, but he never heard me. When he gets an idea you might as well throw up your hands and knock your head on the ground three times, because it’s all over, and It’s the wise person who* knows it: but there are times when I struggle feebly. “So we went fishing. .“When he mentioned Incidentally that we should have to go seining first for the minnows I let out several feeble yowls that made no more impression on him than a grasshopper. “He said seining would be perfectly nice, healthy exercise for me and

that he would do all the hard part. All 1 had to do was walk along the < shore hanging on to one end of the sein while he struggled through the waves with the other, his hip rubber boots saving him from actual contact with the icy water. I “That sein may have been a harm- | less, well conducted thing ordinarily but when it saw me coming it rose on its hind legs and proceeded to buck. It pulled me into the water over my shoe tops twice, and then when we tried to land It the wind, which was pretty high, simply lifted it in the air, twisted It over, andshowered me with all the minnows, a small turtle and a lot of sticky seaweed stuff. “I shrieked for help, but there was no response. When I had got all the fish out of my ears and neck I saw Henry was on the ground all sewed up in the seine. He was fighting like a giant whale, but I rescued him at last. He said it was all my fault for not handling the net properly and that we’d try again for the minnows if I’d use my brains. “This time I broke my back keep--1 ing the pole at my end of the seine 1 pushing along the ground ahead of ! me, as per orders. We dragged | through an acre of water and then Henry rounded in to shore, with low hissings to me to do thus and so f(hd wild orders not to do this and that. “I obeyed his commands with strict attention to details. “We’ve got a big catch this time!" Henry cried, triumphantly, as we landed the sein right side up. * “Breathlessly we laid it open—and it contained two big snags or roots, an empty pickle bottle and some weeds. I am a dutiful wife and I won’t tell you the piece Henry recited to ease his mind. It consisted of brief exclamations mostly. v F “By the time we had really trapped enough minnows I was drenched to the knees and Henry had received most of the wild waves In the tops of his rubber boots. Then he said we must hurry to the dock because it was grqwing late for fishing. I had on a* sweater, a heavy coat and my head wrapped up, and I felt as frolicsome as a baby elephant. Henry was a thing of beauty in some nondescript wrappings that he reserved for the country. “Then we sat and fished. The cold wind whistled and my nose was purple: Every once in a while Henry would say fatuously: ‘lsn’t this

great? Just breathe this air!’ And I’d say: ‘ld is, by dear, oh course!’ Then he would say: 'Are you warm enough, Isabella?’ And I, being a perfect wife, would nearly crack my frozen face, smiling and murmuring cheerfully: Tb Just roasting to death, Hedry!’ Then he’d remark that it certainly was queer the way the fish didn’t bite, and what on earth could he the trouble? Once he had a nibble and it caused great excitement among us. I know I almost rolled Into the lake, because I tipped over and was so muffled up I couldn’t move hand or foot to right myself. “When the sun was sinking low a native rowed by and told us that nobody had caugh a fish off that dock since the middle of last summer, so then we picked up our minnow pail and went home. .

“Henry asserted that he had had a delightful time, but there was something lacking in the occasion to me. And I suspect Henry’s [sincerity, for when I asked him how I should keep the minnows he said to hang the minnows or put them in a bird cage and feed them marmalades, for all he cared. We haven’t been quite cordial to each other since. "So, I say, warn Gertie Filkens In time if her man loves nature.” "It’s too late, 1 fear,, said the woman embroidering the dolly. "Besides, why should Gertie Filkens hope to escape all the troubles of life?” The worst thing we can take for a cold is advice. —■ ■■' -