Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 173, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 July 1915 — Page 2

CAP and BELLS

LEAST WORRY OF WATCHMAN Keen, But Subtle Reproach Conveyed to Inquisitive Visitors at Ruins of Wellesley College. A merited retort is not always a retort courteous. The rebuke that was administered to a party of intruding tourists by the old watchman who was set to guard the ruins of College hall at Wellesley not long after the great fire conveyed a keen but subtle reproach. “Ye’ve got to keep out!” he ordered gruffly, when he caught them trying to slip under the ropes that surrounded the crumbling walls. The Inquisitive visitors paused and eyed first the ruins and then their determined guardian. “See here," a callow youth accosted him, “ile’re willing to risk it, and we’ll take all the responsibility. What do you care if we lose our lives?” “Ye’ve got to keep out. I ain’t thinkin’ of your lives; I’m thinkin’ of me Job.” —Youth’s Companion.

The Woman of It.

Mrs. Church —So your daughter’s to be married tomorrow? Mrs. Gotham —She is, I am glad to say. “And is the groom a man of your choice?” “He certainly is not.” "Why are you glad she is to be married, then?” “Well, I just feel like having a good cry.”

They Had Cut Him Down.

One day, in the lively old time of cowboy activities, a timid tenderfoot at Bitter Creek asked tremblingly if that bad man, Bill Busher, was hanging around there yet. “No,” replied the native who was asked. “But he was last week.” “Are you sure?” said the tenderfoot “Positive. I had hold of the rope.” —Browning’s Magazine.

Shooting Up the Town.

Bill—l see for lighting gas burners an inventor has patented a pistol in which a spring shoots a rod of flint through a roughened steel ring, producing a shower of sparks. Jill —If it is adopted for street lighting I suppose it will be said at eventide that it is about time for the lamplighter to shoot up the town.

An Economy.

“No money, no trunks." said the Irate landlord. “If you don’t pay your board bill we hold your trunks till you do.”

“Splendid! ” said Dedbroke. “That’ll save me the expense of storage on these things of mine until next season. By-by, old man!" —Judge.

NOT FOR HIM.

Mr. Elephant—l have a mind to hire you as my valet. Mr. Monk —What, and have to carry your trunk around for you all the time? I guess not .

Proper Thing.

“They tell me Smith’s business has all gone to seed.” “Poor fellow! Then he’s ruined.” "Par from it. He supplies the formers and suburbanites all around.”

Their Status.

"English candidates for parliament are a sort of strap-hanging class, aren’t they?" “How do you mean?" “Don't they stand for a seat?”

Very Cruel.

He —When I went to the hospital they put the X-ray on my head, but they couldn’t find anything there. Bb«— Ah! Did they expect to find ‘ * ’ - • . if’JaoajMjPy ' ~.. -y v - - ---

LOVE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY

Liver and Onions, or a Struggle Between Love and Appetite—Letter Was Written First.

That night, 600 miles from home, in the dining room of the Travelers’ Retreat, Hlgginson Bukettshop battled long and bravely with his appetite. He hadn’t written Clarabelle the daily letter yet, and all the hotel offered for supper was liver and onions, onions and liver, and liver as well as onions.

“What shall I do?” moaned the unhappy man. “I am famished, yet how can I send Clarabelle my usual kiss at the end of the letter after eating those onions? She will be sure to detect them —she is so sensitive —and then the engagement will be off.”

Meanwhile the waiter was standing patiently at his elbow, remarking, “De liverii onions is very good, sah. De onions’n liver is right toler’ble, sah.” “Hang it all, was ever man in such a fix!” cried Higginson Bukettshop. “Love or liver? Onions or Clarabelle?” Suddenly his handsome face lit up. “Liver and onions!” he ordered. “By suspenders, I’ll send the letter before I eat!”

And, though the letter was unusually impassioned, he had finished writing it. kiss and all, before the liver and onions arrived. —Detroit Free Press.

Plain Diagnosis.

“Now, doc,” said the patient who wasn’t so very sick, “I want you to get me a nurse. What I want is a nurse with golden hair, blue eyes, pretty figure and melodious voice.”

"You don’t want a nurse,” retorted the doctor with some authority. “What you want is a front seat at a musical comedy.”

BRITISH BUSINESS METHODS.

“Has your son brought back any business methods from London?” “Oh! yes. He thinks we ought to serve tea afternoons and that all the stenographers ought to be blondes.”

Overlooked.

“Are you the editor of the paper?” asked the lady with the drab spats, calling.

“I am,” replied the man with the poised pencil. “Well, I called to ask if you wouldn’t get larger type. My name was in your paper five times last week and a neighbor of mine told me she never saw it”

Nobody Loves a Fat Man.

Biggins (a man of abundant girth)— The doctor said I need iron. Badger—lnternally? Biggins—What a question! How else?

Badger—l didn’t know but he meant externally in the shape of a hoop or two.

Not Easily Swallowed.

Bacon —This paper says a camera small enough to be swallowed to photograph the interior of the stomach has been invented by a Danish surgeon. Egbert—Do you believe it? “Certainly I believe it.” “Well, some people will swallow most anything.”

Then He Ducked.

Mrs. Bacon —I see it is said that many of the women of Chile are employed as car conductors. Mr. Bacon —Never would do over here. “Why not? I’d like to know.” “Why, the rear platforms are crow rded enough already by men.”

Man of Excuses.

Mr. Crimsonbeak —How long do you suppose it would take to come from the moon to the earth, dear? Mrs. Crimsonbeak —I don’t know and, what’s more, I don’t care; but if you are going to give that as your excuse for getting home late last night, it won’t go.”

Perhaps.

Mollie —I see an English inventor has equipped his flying machine with an acetylene flare, which would burst into flame and form a signal should he fall into the sea.

Chollie—But wouldn’t that frighten the fish?

His Rank.

“I suppose the man who has charge of the coining of 25-cent pieces has an army rank." _ “What army rank could he have?” "That of quartermaster."

Fine Cut.

"I certainly like the way our new cook prepares spaghetti.” "How’s that?” "She runs it through the meat <,iop per first.” —Judge.

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

SMYRNA, PRIZE IN MANY WARS

ALONG with the bombardment of the forts of the Dardanelles there has been going on another attack on Turkey, although the world has heard little ablaut it. A French fleet has been, bombarding Smyrna, with what result the latest dispatches must be examined to discover. Ten times has Smyrna fallen and each time risen from ruins to renewed splendor and prosperity as the foremost city of Asia Minor. By virtue of its commanding situation at the head of a, sheltered 30-mile gulf, the gateway to the interior and a terminal for caravan and railroad routes of Asia Minor, the little city clustered around the base of Mount Pagus has been a gem sought for the crown of each succeeding ruler dominating the Orient from the dawn of history. Today —or rather six months jjgo — it would not be described as an Oriental city, but as a modern metropolis. With a population of 250,000, a little larger than Providence, it has become a commercial center as cosmopolitan as an American city. Cosmopolitan City. More than half of its people are Greeks; the rest are Turks, Jews, Armenians and people from western Europe living in outlying sections, Burnabat and Buja. The English and French colonies have played a large part in its recent commercial history. Smyrna’s export trade, in the neighborhood of $1,500,000 yearly, has been largely with Great Britain. Seven thousand steamships in a year come into the narrow roadstead off the modern quays and take on cargoes of tobacco, figs, raisins, silks, tanning and dyeing materials. Smyrna rugs and carpets, so-called, come from the interior through Smyrna. The imports at Smyrna, cotton and linens and woolens from England and Germany chiefly, average $1,000,000 annually. Two hundred miles southwest of Constantinople, it is one of the logical way stations for traffic through the Mediterranean to the Black sea ports. In all but its government, Smyrna is now a predominantly Christian city.. A new government building and a new railroad are signs of its recent progress. The fine quays are backed by a line of good buildings. The streets are narrow, but well kept and adequate. The city boasts good schools, of which the International college is the best known, and missions of all denominations have headquarters there.

Impresses Visitors at Once.

The first view of the city that a traveler gets coming up the Gulf of Smyrna, encompassed by high hills rising from the water’s edge, is one that is not forgotten. Passing numerous headlands and islands, which were in Greek times resorts for philosophers and later of pirates, the extensive cemeteries on Mount Pagus come into view and the few remains of ancient Smyrna and its citadel. Then the mosques, minarets, cupolas, baths and little brown-roofed wooden houses rising on the terraces of the hill show up above the city itself spread along the gulf for two miles. Like many Turkish cities it is “beautiful at a distance” —more so than at close range, perhaps. Smyrna is one of the cities which claim to be the birthplace of Homer, which is not evidence of particular distinction in the eastern Mediterranean, but it indicates the age of the city and something of its proud position. A rivulet north of the city is pointed out as the true Meles. Anaxagoras, born on an island in the outer gulf, is one of its philosophical heroes. Tradition of City's Founding. Poetic tradition says that Smyrna was founded by an amazon of that

SMYRNA AND ITS HARBOR

name who had previously conquered Ephesus. The city, whatever its origin, has from the beginnings of recorded history preserved an unbroken identity of name. .

It came early Into the possession of the Aeolians and continued in their confederacy down to 688 B. C., when it fell by an act of treachery, as cities in those days usually fell, according to their historians —into the hands of the lonians and became the thirteenth city of the lonic league. Miletus, and later Ephesus, were trade rivals, but Smyrna with a superior harbor and on the direct path of commerce from Lydia, outdistanced these .cities. City Under Many Rulers. The founder'of the Lydian empire, Alyattis 111, conquered Smyrna in the sixth century, B. C. and for 300 years it lost its place in the list of Greek cities. Alexander the Great, the romantic dreamer who accomplished things as king of Macedon, succeeded in restoring the city. The idea was supposed to have been given him In a dream by Nemesis, ono of the gods worshiped in the temple at Smyrna. The city fell and flourished under the sieges and vicissitudes of Greek, Roman, Byzantine and Turkish rulers. In the Roman period it vied again with Ephesus and Pergamum for the title of the first city of Asia.

When Constantinople became the seat of the government, directing the destinies of the Asia Minor qities, Smyrna declined, trade routes changed and the city was ravaged several times.

Antiquarians have been surprised to find the few relics of antiquity that are still to be seen in Smyrna.

DEFENSE OF BOILED CABBAGE

Writer Who Appreciates the Delicacy Objects to Its Being Classed Among the Nuisances. The decision of the supreme court of West Virginia that “the wanton and needless cooking of cabbage and sauerkraut for the purpose of annoying a neighbor is a nuisance,” is very poor law so far as the cabbage is concerned, because there can be no such thing as the wanton and needless cooking of cabbage; nor would it be possible to annoy any sane person in that way. The redolence that issues from a kitchen and permeates the household during the boiling of cabbage is a great delight. The people who say mean things about it do so because cabbage is a modest vegetable and has too much self-respect to insinuate itself on the boards of the aristocrats.

We common people, whom 'God made so many of, and which might not be were it not so, love boiled cabbage, not only for Its noble self, but for its tender memories. There Is no happier reminiscence than those days when the aroma of boiled cabbage floated through the old household rubbing up against one’s tender sensibilities, almost like a divine spirit, and telling one’s appetite to get ready for the grand feast a-coming. People who don’t have such memories as that have lived in vain.—Ohio State Journal.

A German lady sent a box of cigars to a soldier recently, accompanied by her calling card. The lieutenant later wrote her that the card had saved his life. One day while in the trenches he took out his notebook, and her card fell to the ground. When he bent to pick it up, shrapnel fell over the trench. He would have surely been killed had he not been in a reclining position. • --...U ;

Card Saved Soldier’s Life.

CAME TO A SUDDEN FINISH

lntervsntlc-» of Cyclone Ended Physical Contest Between the “Old Man” and Sue.

“Never, never, shall I forget how that ar* cyclone swooped down on ns," said the old man. “It was about three o'clock In the afternoon and me an' the old woman was hoein’ corn down thar’ by the river. I was ahead of her about two hills an’ she hit me on the heel with her hoe. ‘“You did that on purpose to be mean,’ sez I as I turns about. “ ‘Yer dratted heels ar’ too long by a foot,’ sez she, as she bristles up to me.

“’Yer another!’ yells I, as I drops my hoe. “‘Take it hack!’ yells she, as she spits on her hands and squares off.

“ ‘Never! Sue White, I’m gwine to swipe the meanness o’ yo’ or die a-tryin’!’ “ ‘You can’t wallop nuthin’, ole man.’ “With that,” he continued, “we clinched and that thar fout was sunthin’ jist awful to see. The corn was about knee high and I reckon we destroyed half an acre of it as we pranced about. Bimeby I gin her a twist and a flop an’ she went sailin’ and jist then the cyclone busted in on us from the river. The ole woman was waitin’ to cum down so’s to tackle me again, when thar” was a bisf —skit! —skit! —and I never sot eyes on her again.” “Was she blown away?” 1 queried. “Blowed away like a feather, sir, while I was flung down and got hold of a bush. That cyclone made a sweep over forty miles long and we never found her mangled remains, even, old Sue!”

"It must have surprised her?” “Yes, I think it did. She had her fingers all spread out to clutch my ha’r as she cum down, an’ she was sayin’ as how he’d make a wreck o’ me when she lighted, and then thar’ cum a whiff! whiff! and she was gone. She must have bin powerfully surprised, but thei Lord’s w T ays ar’ past findin’ out, an’ supper’ll be ready in about five minits.” —Chicago Daily News.

Armed Citizenry.

The suggestion that the people of the United States form clubs and companies for rifle practice and familiarize themselves in the use of weapons in readiness for protection in case of war is only new in the form of the weapons in-which we are asked to become skilled. In an epistle to the sheriff of London, dated June 12, 1349, 566 years ago, Edward 111 sets forth how “the people of our realm, as well of good quality as mean, have commonly in their sports before these times exercised their skill of shooting arrows; whence it is well known that honor and profit have accrued to our whole realm, and to us, by the help of God, no small assistance in our warlike acts. Now, however, the said skill being, as it were, wholly laid aside,” the king commands the sheriff to make public proclamation that “every one of the said city, strong in body, at leisure times on holidays, use in their recreations bows and arrows, of pellets and bolts, and learn and exercise the art of shooting, forbidding all and singular on our behalf that they do not after any manner apply themselves to the throwing of stones, wood or iron, handball, football, bundy hall, eambuck or cock-fighting, nor such like vain plays which have no profit In them.” Cambuck or cammock was the ancient name for hockey or shinny.

More Asbestos Produced.

The asbestos-producing industry oi the United States is growing. Foi many years we have been the greatest manufacturers and users of asbestos, drawing our raw material from Canada, but we are now getting some excellent fiber in our own country. The most notable feature of the asbestos industry in 1914 was the development of a new field in Arizona, which is furnishing a grade of fiber that compares very favorably with the Canadian. As the mineral occurs in the Grand canyon it is frequently designated Grand Canyon asbestos, although the deposit in that remarkable natural wonder is not yet producing asbestos commercially. For electric installation the Arizona asbestos is even better than the Canadian product, for it contains a lower percentage of iron. Asbestos of a low grade has been produced in Georgia for many years.

Lightning Begins on Time.

A bolt%>f lightning, shooting through an 18-inch stone wall at the home of William Reese, near Valley Forge, Pa., tore a hole in the building as large as a man’s head, struck a grandfather’s clock in a room where the family was gathered and threw the glass door of the clock across the room, shattering it into a thousand pieces over the head of the farmer, who was lying on a couch. The bolt, stunning his oldest daughter, rendering the younger daughter deaf and shocking all in the room, discharged itself through the lower portion of the house, and a dog which lay on the floor was killed. The worka es the clock were damaged and the 1 wood splintered.

Algeria's Population.

Algeria has a total population of between 5,000,000 and 6.000,000, of whom only a little more than 800,000 are of European origin. The French have not found it expedient during this war to insist upon compulsory military service on the part of the native Mohammedan population.

HOLD SNAKES SACRED

CHINESE HAVE DEEP REVERENCE FOR THE REPTILES. Bplrit of the Dragon King, Which le Worshiped, Supposed to Reside Within Their Bodies—Rat Is Also Honored. * ' It Is not always safe to kill a snake in China. It doesn’t matter much whether the snake is of the water species or of the land variety, for within this reptile’s body is supposed to reside the spirit of what the yellow man worships as the dragon king. This latter is believed by the average superstitious “John” to have the power of ruling over floods. This dragon king represents one symbol in the ritual of worship of the Chinese religion called Taoism. China practically possessed three different forms of religion until the advent of the Christian missionaries. The first of these religions was in the form of a philosophy. This still exists to some extent and is known as Confucianism. The second form has been recognized as Buddhism, which still exists throughout China as symbolized in the worship of idols. As you travel through the country, here and there you will frequently run across idols of Buddha located on the hillsides or other quiet and sequestered spots conducive to reverential reflection. Plenty of worshipers yet pay their homage to these Buddhist idols, and you can see them conscientiously observing the formal ceremonies of their worship. But this form "of religion is steadily dying a natural death since the advent of Christianity. The third variety of religious observanse among the Celestials is that of Taoism. This was started by an old patriarch named Lao-tgu, who had surrounding him a group of “eight immortals” as his disciples. One of these latter was given the responsibility of representing the God of Barbers. The Taoist worshipers have temples erected in each native town. In these temples are pictures portraying the horrors of the future life. When the souls of the dead are buried across the river Styx the artist has painted a gruesome thought. Men and women are depicted as climbing towering mountains of ice, only to fall back into a gaping abyss as they nearly reach the top. As they fall their bodies are revealed as being caught upon spears and tossed backward and forward by deft executioners. These gruesome pictures show the sufferers to be finally ground up between millstones. Some of them show sharp swords slashing to pieces the bodies which have escaped the millstone process, and little dogs are pictured as running after the sufferers, lapping up the blood. On certain occasions after a death the family will proceed in a body to these temples and will hold a public wail. On the drum tower of the Taoist temple at Tientsin it has been common to see richly dressed native merchants kneeling to an iron pot containing incense burned in honor of his excellency the rat. Other similar disgusting procedures could be observed. It is hard to conceive that human beings can be so superstitious as to deliberately endure such empty practices of hallowed mockery. Yet this is one phase of China, the China of today. The few modernized Mongolians surely have their hands full in effectively combating this awful element of ignorance and bigoted superstition and in holding their newly organized republic to the main highway of progress.

Air Tank Plays Valet.

When the safety valve on the air tank of the launch Gladys stuck, Dyke Thorpe, who was snoozing on the deck, had all blown off his body by the explosion and was hurled naked but uninjured into the sea. So great was the force of the explosion that the heavy deck planks were torn up and the engine and cabin entirely demolished. The Gladys, a seagoing launch, 35 feet long, is heavily constructed. The air tank which caused the damage is a small one used for compressing air to blow the siren. Nothing but the hulk of the boat was left after the explosion, and a rope being secured, the remains were towed ashore by Thorpe. Thorpe’s companion, William Souder, who was in the cabin at the time of the explosion, was uninjured.—Los Angeles Times.

Apache Chief Dead.

Magoosh, supposed to have been the only baldheaded Indian in the world, and the last of the famous war chiefs of the Apaches, ninety years old, is dead, He had 20 wives in his time. In February, 1907, two of his wives died within a week of each other. Magoosh led his Indian braves at a dozen massacres and in scores of raids. His most serious defeat was at the hands of the Texas rangers, under Daniel W. Roberts, in 1875. The rangers scattered Magoosh’s band. After abandoning the warpath Magoosh was a good friend ot the white men. He made one trip to Washington for a talk with the “Great White Father,” and to his dying day delighted in telling his tribesmen of the wonders he beheld on that journey.

The Likeness.

*Fatty Mack eats like a bird.’* “Lake a bird? Why, he shovels in his food like an elephant.” “Just what I said. Takes a peek at •very mouthful.”