Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 121, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 May 1915 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Happy is the bride who does not believe you could have done better. Moreover when charity is cut decolete it doesn’t cover much of a multitude. ' When a man has no show at home he generally is able to find a circus down town. A woman always has a lot of respect for a husband who pretends he is jealous of her. There is no rest for the wicked, but life isn’t entirely a picnic for the righteous, either. It’s passing strange how poverty stricken we all become when the tax assessor is abroad. Considering how much underwear is advertised, there seems little excuse for not wearing any. As a general thing if a girl can get her hose and shoes to harmonize she can make her feet behave. It is said cheese existed 350 years B. C. It is as deceiving as some old maids as some of it appears older. We admire a good talker every day in the week but there are some who don’t know when to stop. Some married women think about the oest way to preserve a husband is to keep him in hot water all the time. A professor claims that corsets have filled more graves than whisky. Well, they both make their victims tight. Far a girl to marry a man that was a perfect dream would be fine—if she could be sure that she would never wake up. What has become of the old fashioned man who ased to break his arm when he cranked his automobile. A fleshy man would rather get still fatter if he had to take the choice between that and going hungry. Not so with the fat women. A lot of the June brides of 1914, who expected to learn how to operate an automobile are now operating a 1914 model washing machine. A man married a deaf and dumb girl worth two million dollars. If you know anything beating that for luck we’d .like to hear about it. Music in restaurants and cases originated in Austria. Every day something comes to light that makes it harder for us to remain neutral.Before marriage he could tell her that he rode across the Atlantic ocean on the back of a sea serpent, and She would believe it. After marriage he can tell her that he was delayed because a street car jumped the track and she wouldn’t believe him if he brought the conductor, motorman and 25 passengers home as witnesses. Every now and then father will come across a little baby shoe when he is riimmaging through an old trunk. To him it is only a cheap little bit of kid that was worn by a little tad who got sick and died. He can’t see why mother keeps it. But to mother the little shoe has warm lips, moist with her kisses, little hands that cling lovingly to her breast and little eyes that look into her very soul and understand her sorrow. Some things in the world strike one as being exceedingly funny or pathetic, it all depends on how you look at it. For instance, some men who get dreadfully tired sitting on a comfortable seat in church for one hour, will sit in a hot sun on a rough board a whole afternoon watching a baseball game and never mind it. Others sb weak they cannot do a stroke of work will spend their hours chasing around a billiard table. So are there women who cannot find time to look after their children, but who can devote many an afternoon to playing bridge; and there are girls who are too feeble to help in the housework but able to play tennis or gad the streets by the hour and finish as fresh as a daisy.