Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 99, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 April 1915 — JUST SMILE AND FORGET THE WAR [ARTICLE]

JUST SMILE AND FORGET THE WAR

THEY CANT GET THE ORIGINAL IN A CAGE THOUGH. Pittsburgh has a Billy Sunday, but it keeps him in the zoo. “Billy” was born a year ago during the evangelist’s visits to the city Hi is a young lion and doesn’t get far from his cage in Highland. IT’S A POOR PLACE FOR TEETH. Nature never intended a man’s teeth to be in his stomach. So Clint C. Houston, labor leader-editor, of Denver, had the gold bridge and five attached teeth in his stomach removed by a delicate operation and again wears them where nature and the dentist intended them to be. Houston swallowed the bridge during a meal. It took an X-ray to locate them. A TIP FOR ONE-LEGGED MEN. The sordid injustice of making a one-legged man buy a whole pair of shoes has been evaded by Gottfried F. Leibler, deputy clerk of the municipal court of Cleveland, and James Canovan, elevator operator at the new court house. They met twelve years ago, compared feet—each had one missing—and, since then, have shopped together. Canovan gets the right shoe and Leibler the left. When their tastes don’t jibe, they draw lots. YES BUT HE NEVER ATE ANY GARLIC. John Mattix, of Eaton, 0., who will be 98 years old in June, expects to do a man’s work on that day. “How do 1 do it?” querried Mattix today. “Listen: Eat plenty of onions, do plenty of work, get plenty of rest, chew and smoke plenty of tobacco and don’t worry.” Mattix frequently walks 16 miles in a day. PERHAPS THEY DON’T SHAVE CLOSE ENOUGH. Declaring they were “watchfully waiting for the right girl, twentytwo per cent of Princeton University’s seniors said they had never been kissed. A few “never wanted to”, while others said they objected to kissing for “hygienic reasons.” THEY SAY CATS ARE ANNOYING THIS TIME OF YEAR. Annoyed by howling cats that were interfering with his sleep at 2 a. m., Thomas J. Murphy, a well known steel worker, Homestead, Pa., got out of bed, hurried down stairs and out to the rear porch, the cats scurrying in all directions. As Murphy reached the edge of the porch he tripped and fell ten feet to the ground. Unable to rise he lay there until 8 o’clock, when other members of the family discovered him.