Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 76, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 March 1915 — BUT NOT ON THAT MACHINE [ARTICLE]

BUT NOT ON THAT MACHINE

Qlrl Had Right to Balk on Joy Ride That Homely Eacort Had Promlaed to Give Her. He was the homeliest man she had ever met, bat almost his first sentence won her heart It was: "I’ll come ground some Thursday and take you out in the machine.” “Oh,” she twlttered,r picking a hair from his coat collar. "What Thursday, Mr. Dickdocker?” “How does some Thursday next week salt you?” he replied. "Oh, the first, please!” she exclaimed. • That Thursday she stood, with her new auto coat on, waiting at the parlor window for two hours. “I realize he's ugly as sin and has fourteen gold teeth,” she mused, "but with wind goggles on he surely won’t look so bad and he’ll probably keep his mouth shut on account of the dust.” There was a sudden chugging. “ Tls he!” she breathed. *Twas. He stopped at the curb. He was seated on a dusty motorcycle With an extra seat behind! He rank the bell. "Is Miss Niddlestoop at homer he Inquired. "No/? replied the maid, "she Just went out the back way.”—Detroit Free Press. *