Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 February 1915 — Page 3

TAKE TIME TO SMILE

CURED HIM OF .THE PICCOLO

Musician Decides to Dispose of Instrument After Listening to Phonographic Rendition. During the demonstration of his new kinetophone, Mr. Edison said: "With this invention an actor may hear himself speak as well as see himself act Let us hope he won’t be disappointed—like the piccolo player in a music store who was urged to buy a phonograph. The dealer, as a last resort, got the man to make a phonographic record of "The Last Rose of Summer 1 with his own piccolo. "The dealer then ran the tune off while the player—a really wretched performer—listened with a strange air. At the end the dealer said: “‘There! Isn’t that wonderful?’ “ 'H’xn —well —yes/ said the piccolo player. " 'And now/ said the dealer, briskly, ‘are you going to buy the phonograph?’ “‘No,* the player answered. Tm going to sell the piccolo.’ ”

HER FIRST INQUIRY.

The Victim of the Accident (recovering consciousness) —Was my—my—new hat hart?

Thrills on the Turf.

"They maet have had a terrible time at the race track,” said young Mrs. Torkins. "Charley came back very much depressed.” “What happened?” asked the woman who was calling. “It sounds like wholesale slaughter, but I can't find anything about it in the paper. Charley says he went up against a number of long shots and nearly all the horses are dead ones.”

The Real Thing.

Tou should have heard Smith at the club lunch the other afternoon. He certainly Is in love with his wife the way' he kept talking about her perfections. By the way, 1 didn’t notice Jones there.” “No, he was at home, putting down the carpet at their fiat for fear his wife would have to do It herself.”

Might Have Boosted Prices.

“I suppose It is annoying when a man goes out because you haven’t something cheaper.” “Yes,” said the small merchant. "But what gives you heart disease is when a fellow goes out because you haven’t something more expensive.”

The Man and the Machine.

"How many votes did you get?” “Not nearly as many as the other fellow,” said the man who Is always philosophical. “You see, I had to depend on my own efforts for my votes. His were machine-made."

Careful Explanations.

"What made you throw that bomb?” asked the policeman. “My conscience,” replied the suspicious character. "I got to thinkln’ dat no respectable guy would have a bomb wit ’im, see? So I jest tossed it from me.”

A Financial Theory.

"How do you account for psychological depression?" “Your question helps to account for it,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax. "There’s too much expert accounting and not enough actual business.”

"So your son’s joined the English forces at the front I suppose he was horrified at the first sight of a bloody battlefield.” “Oh, no; he had played too many football games while he was at college.”

The Estimate.

-That pretty girl’s marriage wae purely a business matter on her part” . *l lli<Br»tooj| tt wae a traasactlOß

Prepared.

FAIR EXCHANGE FOR OFFICER

Arm, Willing to IteleaM Commander In Chief for Bult of All-Wool Underwear. The terrible hardships of winter campaigning elicited from Judge W. H. Moore, the New York horseman, a "story. “A pourparler was being held,” he said, “between two opposing armies on a windy promontory during a snowstorm. “ ‘You have captured our commander in -chief.’ So the pourparler began. “ ‘Yes, that is true.’ “ *We will exchange three generals tor him.’ •“No/ •“Three generals and a coloneL* “ *No, I tell yon/ ""•Then six generals, three colonels and —’ " •No, no, no! Yon can’t have him back for anything short of a suit' of all-wool underwear in good condition!”’

Coldly Considered.

“You don’t seem to attach great importance to enduring fame,” said the friend and adviser. "I have my doubts about it,” replied Senator Sorghum. “Enduring fame la what anabiaa~the American Indian to get his picture on all kinds of money without having any opportunity' to handle the real cash.”

Found at Last.

"What are you selling?" asked Diogenes. ‘‘Mining stock,” said the man. “Sure thing, eh?" “No; it looks good, but it may not pan out’’ “An honest man at last,” yelled Diogenes. “I’ll trade you my lantern for a couple of shares.”

Coming and Going.

“She takes all her husband’s salary.” “That’s the way she husbands her resources.” “He says she allows him SO cents a week.” “That’s the way she resources her husband.”

Extending, of Course.

"Why,” demanded the indignant war correspondents, ‘‘have you killed our stories?” “You mention a half dozen towns and cities,” replied the censor wearily, “and assert our battle line is running through them.”

Lost in Shuffle.

“Boots by Smith, costumes by Robinson, wigs by Jones, scenes by Dingbat” mumbled the man in the end seat “What are yon driving at?” “I’m trying to dig up who wrote the play.”

The Deduction.

The Lady—So you are a hero of the war? The Tramp—Yes, lha’axn. The Lady—Then what did you do with all the money you received writing for the magazines?”

Plenty of Time.

"Your honor, we ask a postponement in this case.” ‘■‘Both sides agreed?” "Yes." “Very welL Get together and agree on a year.”

Ambiguous.

Tiddle—What is your son doing now? De Wink—Wielding a pastebruah and scissors. Tiddle —Paperhanger or editor?”Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern.

IN A PASSING AIRSHIP.

Higher—Confound tt! This blooming airship is a snare and a delusion. Skyers—Well, I guess as soon as a man buys one he finds himself up in the air.

Defective.

Student (on geology expedition)— Say, professor. I can’t tell one of these rocks from another. Professor — Why, that’s very queer! You must be stone blind.—Cornell Widow.

Exceptions.

“Its always either put up or shat' up.” "Not when your wife tells you to stop grumbling and go to work on the stove. Then you have to do both.”

The Way of It.

"I proposed to my stenographer—” "You didn’t!” "Don’t get excited. I only proposed she should be assister to me."

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN. RENSSELAER, IND.

HOW MOYNIHAN TAMED THE TRUST

Story of San Francisco Boilermaker and the Hardware Combine. WOULD NOT ACCEPT REBATE Clerk’s Error, However, Gave the Enemy Into the Old Irishman’s Hands, and He BpeedllyExacted* Terms.

By RICHARD BPILLANE.

(Copyright. McClure Newspaper Syndicate.) Mr. Moynihan hag one tooth, a bald head and a temper. 'The tooth was in the upper gum directly in the center and made quite a show when Mr. Meyirihan engaged in conversation. The baldness of his head was expansive. There was only a Cringe of hair about his ears and the back of his neck and this fringe was stained and dyed by the ’grime of the shop. His temper was unimpaired. It had developed with his years. He was a boilermaker. It was his proud boast that be had started in business in 1859. His shop was in Beale street, San Francisco. He made good boilers, as is testified to by the fact that a fair share of the steamers that plowed the Pacific were equipped with Moynihan’s boilers. So long as you didn’t cross the old man he was delightful to deal with. He had a rich store of Irish wit and could tell a story as well as any man. When he was angered, however, he was primitive. Old as he was, he wasn’t averse to a fist fight. Age had not

“I'm Sorry That I’ve Had Meat and Drink With You.”

withered his muscles. He was rich, proud and an earnest, hard-working citizen. A score of times propositions were made to him to combine his plant with that of others. Invariably he would answer: “I started here in '59. I made boilers before you were born, or anyhow before you were anything but a wee bit of a- gossoon. I’ve run my shop without your help or anybody else’s help. I’ll run it myself until I die; so that’s all there is about it” If the caller tried to argue with him the old man would arise In his wrath and say "Get out of my place,” and if the visitor wasn’t spry the old m«m would "push him into the, street Some of the smaller boiler works combined, but it didn’t affect Moynihan. His reputation was so well established and hir patrons were so well satisfied that he went along year by year making plenty of boilers, making a fair bit of money and perfectly contented. •He* Scorned Rebate Offer. But combination was in the air. If it didn’t succeed well in thp boiler -line, it did in the supply houses. Mr. Moynihan bought his sheet metal, his rivets, his hammers, his sledges, his fives and all hisother shop necessities where he pleased. He would patronize one establishment until something occurred to irritate him and then he would transfer his trade to another. All the supply men knew his peculiarities and did their best to keep in his good graces. His plant was so big that his account was well worth having. One day a suave, diplomatic gentleman connected with one of the largest hardware concerns called to see Mr. Moynihan and prevailed upon him to go to luncheon with him. "When the old man was In a mellow mood the bos* » manner as possible, explaln-ft# tJ Ffiy ha wanted to talk with Mr. Moynihan. There was a great waste In the supply business, he pM There was a duplication of clerks, oi salesmen, of stock, etc. Rent was a big item. It was an economic necessity that this waste should be dome away with. It would wipe out senseless competition. It -would tend to -lessen the cost of the auderiai.. a move was-ea foot to eon-

soltdate some of the supply houses. The men behind this consolidation wanted their customers to benefit through the economies introduced. They wanted Mr. Moynihan to share. If Mr. Moynihan would agree to bay his supplies from the combination he would find it greatly to his advantage. The combination would sell to the general trade at a certain figure, but to men like Mr. Moynihan, whose accounts were large, and whose trade was well worth having, a concession would be made. This concession would not be made at the time of purchase of goods, but a check representing a certain percentage of his purchases would be sent to him at the end of each month, or at the end of each quarter. ‘ls it a ray-bate that you mean?" inquired Timothy J. Moynihan. "Well," said the other gentleman, smilingly, "you might call it a rebate.” ‘Tve been in business since 1859;” said Mr. Moynihan, “and I've never <had a ray-bate and I don’t want one. Til buy where I please and when I please. I don't know whether your scheme is honest or crooked, but you have brought me here on false pret tinses, and ■ I’m sorry that I’ve had meat and drink with you. Waiter!” he roared, and when a waiter came he demanded to know what the bill was for what he had had. When told the amount, he paid it, gave a generous tip to the waiter and stamped out of the room. Effects of the Combine. Quick to anger and quick to forget, Mr. Moynihan didn't think much of the affair of the dining room. He noticed, however, that a very decided change was coming over the hardware trade. Small establishments closed, men with whom he had done business for many years sold out and took positions as managers or salesmen in bigger concerns. Slowly but surely nearly all the hardware supply business of San Francisco came under one head. Coincident with this change

prices of material advanced. He had to pay more for his steel, for his rivets. for his tubes, |pr his hammers, his sledges, everything that he bought He let out a roar of protest every time prices -were advanced, but it was of no use. He tried to get supplies from the tew small concerns that still continued in the business, but their figures were as high as those of the biggest establishments, if not higher. What can’t be cured must be endured, so Mr. Moynihan reluctantly gave his orders to the big house. To meet the advance in prices of material he raised his price on boilers Some -of his patrons protested. He told them material had gone up and he wouldn’t make any more out of the job at the higher price than he did at the lower. A few went to rival boiler makers and, much to Mr. Moynlhan’s surprise, didn't return to him. That year Moynlhan’s business dropped off and his profit for the twelve months was very small. The next year it dropped off more and instead of a profit he had a deficit. Customer after customer left him.. The old man tried not to show his chagrin, but he took the decline of his business very much to heart. "I guess I'm getting pretty old,” he would say to his cronies. “I guess I’m too old to do business. -I can make as good boilers as ever were made, but I can’t make them as cheap as Doyle or Kennedy or a lot of the other fellows. They under-bid me' every time. If it wasn't for me pride I’d retire. I've beep in business since ’59” —and then he would go on with his long story of what he had done in the days when California was young. A few old friends stuck to him and gave their orders to him regardless of the fact that he charged more than dny of his rivals. He wouldn’t reduce his force, but many a day he sat in his office and moped. He was a “hasbeen.” He realized it. Got After the "Robbers.” One morning there camp to him in the mafi a large envelope that eontained a letter and a check. When the old man read the letter and looked at the check, he let out a roar that brought in some of the workmen from the shop. ~ . „ "The robbers, the bloody robbers!”

he howled. "Give me me hat, give fce me coat!” And within half a minute he was racing madly through the streets with the letter and the Check, in his hand. He went to the office of James Gs, McGuire, one of the most prominent lawyers of California. Mr. McGuire had been the Democratic nominee for governor. Old man Moynihan threw the envelope, letter and check on Mr. McGuire’s desk. “I want you to bust the trust,” he said. “Send the robbers to Jail. Put every last one of them behind the bars. There’s your evidence. It came to me In the mail. The devils put themselves in me hands.” Mr. McGuire calmed the excited man and then read the letter and examined the check. He knew Moynihan’s story. He smiled as he read the letter and he smiled as he looked at the check. \ ‘1 guess It’s the mistake of some clerk, Tim,” he said. “Ton certainly have the evidence.” “I have Now go right to work and bust the trust,” said Mr. Moynihan. , “I’ve suffered enough from the crimes. of these spalpeens. Now I want my revenge. They’d have ruined me if I hadn’t a bit of money laid by.” Mr. McGuire explained to the old Irishman Jhis idea of how the letter, and the check happened to come to him. “I suppose they have a new bookkeeper,” he said. “I suppose in making up his quarterly statement he included your account among those to whom rebates should be given. He supposed you were in the combination, so he had a check for the rebate made out in your favor. There will be the devil to pay in that office when they learn of this mistake.” “It’s right you are, Mr. McGuire,” said Moynihan. “Now I want you to go ahead and bust the trust.” McGuire’s Wise Advice. “Not so fast,” said Mr. McGuire. ‘lt would take years And cost you every dollar you’ve got. It's a matter for the federal authorities. The case would be fought out in court after court up to the Supreme court of the United States and wouldn’t be settled finally probably until long after you are dead. You leave the matter wholly to me and I’ll make these rascals quake, I’ll make them wish they'd never formed the combination and never had anything to do with T. J. Moynihan. You go ahead and bid on all the contracts you wish. Base your estimates just the same as if you were getting a rebate. Buy all your supplies from the combination.”

Timothy J. Moynihan did as he was told. He got more business the next month than he had in the previous year. His competitors had ceased to consider him as a factor. Not only that, but various men who had given orders to Moynihan were surprised to get letters from him notifying them that owing to a development, which he would explain to them later, he was able to make a reduction in the price of work he had done for them and that he was forwarding his check to cover the amount they were entitled to. Mr. Moynihan meanwhile turned over to Mr. McGuire a detailed statement of everything he had purchased from the combination from the day it was formed. Mr. McGuire had several conferences with the head of the combination. The hardware man was aghast when Mr. McGuire said it was his purpose to compel the combination to bring all its books into court. ‘1 don’t care what system of bookkeeping you have employed,” said Mr. McGuire, “either your books or the records of the banks will disclose everything I require. We’ve got you under the civil statutes and we've got you under the Sherman act. You’ll be a mighty lucky lot of men if you escape the penitentiary. You’ve got a pretty tough citizen to deal with in Timothy J. Moynihan. Nothing would please him better than to see you in stripes. He gladly would spend every dollar he possesses to have full revenge on you and all those connected with yon.” The combination employed half a dozen lawyers, high-priced lawyers, the sort of lawyers that do more work out of court than in court They gave all their attention to that case for weeks. They consulted with Mr. McGuire and they blarneyed* and they pleaded with Mr. Moynihan. The one •thing that influenced Mr. Moynihan was the picture of the disgrace and the suffering that would be visited upon the innocent wives and children of the men connected with the combination. At last he agreed to compromise. The combination paid back to him every dollar that would have been due to him in rebate had he been a party to the agreement proposed some years before. He Insisted on getting Interest in full on each and every item of this rebate It amounted to about twenty-eight thousand dollars. He got an agreement, too, in writing that from that time forward his purchases would be at the lowest rate the concern gave to its patrons. In other words. Instead of a rebate, he would get the real rate He insisted, too, that the combination furnish to him at the beginning of each week a schedule of its prices on all classes of material. And last, but not least, he compelled the combination to pay Mr. McGuire’s bill, and it was a good fat one, for he find it himself. When he took the check to Mr. McGuire and handed it to that gentleman he said: "We’ve done good work, sir; we’ve done good work. If wedidn*t bust the trust, sir, be gob, we tamed It" And he smiled so expansively that he showed every portion of his ona tOOth. -

How to Help Backsliders

By REV. HOWARD W. POPE

TEXT—I will heal their DacksHdfas, I will love them freely.-Hoaea 14:4, Backsliders may be divided into three classes.

must be shown in a kind and loving way that they have been mistaken or they will never be willing to make another trial. It is well to point oat some of the evidences of the new birth. and let them see that they have never experienced it. Romans 8:1 shows that the Christian is delivered from the guilt of sin. Ask them if they have ever been wholly free from a sense of guilt, and for what reason. I John 3:14 proves that we have passed from death onto life because we love the brethren. I John 3:21, 22 shows that an obedient Christian will have answers to prayer. I John 4:13 insures the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. Test a person with such passages and he will soon recognize his true position. At the close of a service I was introduced to a young man who said to me, "I have tried this thing two or three times, and it did not seem to work, and I do not care to try it again.” He spoke of conversion as it it were something like vaccination which did not "take” in his case. “Were you ever really converted?” "1 do not know.” “Did you ever get a new heart?" “I doubt if I did." “You have been trying to live the Christian life without any Christ to help you, haven’t you?” “That just describes it” “It is no wonder you have had a hard time. It is like trying to run a watch without a mainspring. You might shake it and the wheels would run a minute or two, but it would soon stop. Neither is it possible to lead a Christian life without the help of Christ who is the mainspring of it all. “If you had in your heart to help you, the very Christ who gave the commandments, would you not be able to keep them?” “I think I would.” “listen then,” I said, and I quoted Ezekiel 36:26, “A new heart will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my Judgments and do them.” “This is God’s offer to you—a new heart. Will you accept it?” In a moment or two he was on his knees asking God for a new heart. n. The second class consists of those who have drifted away from God by disobedience, and are not anxious to return. They are like the prodigal before his money was spent They are living a worldly life, and so long as health and prosperity continue, they get along fairly well without God, though they have many rebukes of conscience, and frequent longings for the good old days of fellowship with God. With such people Jeremiah 2:6 Is a good verse. Ask them what fault they could find with God that they have wandered from him. Jeremiah 2:13 is also good. Ask them if it is not true that their present life is evil and bitter as compared with the fellowship and joy which God provides for those who obey him. Show them the Ingratitude and sin of such a course. Quote Jeremiah 2:19 and show them the folly of turning from a fountain of pure water to a broken cistern or a muddy pool. Then ask them if the self life is not a broken cistern as compared with that well of water which Christ opens in every heart that receives' him. 111. Backsliders who are tired of sin and are anxious to return to God, They are like the prodigal after his money is spent, and after months of hanger and loneliness in the far country. For such Hoeea 14:1-4 is a good passage. “O Israel, return unto the Lord thy God; for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity. I will heal their backsliding, I wIU love them freely; for mine anger la turned away from him.” The most effective passage, however, is Luke 15:11-24. This not only pictures the wretched condition of the backslider, but it shows the steps by which he must return, and the royal reception which awaits him. No one needs pity more than the backslider. He is despised by the world, he is » reproach to the church, he Is alienated fro-n God, and he condemns himself. ■

BeHgion should he the nrijrofjj**

L Those who have never been converted, but who have once considered themselves Christians. The churches are foil of people who at some time received a religious impulse, and who perhaps expressed their purpose to Jead a Christian life, bat who never really received Christ Such people