Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 February 1915 — The MANY LOVE AFFAIRS of WASHINGTON GIRLS’ LOVE TRUST [ARTICLE]

The MANY LOVE AFFAIRS of WASHINGTON

GIRLS’ LOVE TRUST

Formed to Keep Outsiders From Bearing Sweethearts Away.

By DON LA GRANGE.

(Copyright. 1816. by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.) When the new* reached Bloomfield that Sarah Carter, old maid, was to remove there from Hastings, there was a flutter among the marriageable girls. There were but six young men in the town, and the girls had formed a sort of trust to prevent outsiders from bearing any of them away. “Something should be done!” exclaimed one member of the trust. “Of course there should!” echoed a second. “If any man wanted to marry an old maid it would be different,” exclaimed a third, “but there’s no one here that will look at her twice. That will make her mad, and shell do her best to break up our friendships.” “I have heard that she has broken up no less than four matches over there.” “And I have heard that it was five! ’ “If she goes and tells our fellows that we went on a joy-ride with a drummer!” There were shrieks of despair from the entire bevy. Miss Sarah Carter made her appearance in due time, and convulsions followed. She owned to being thirtyeight, but did not look over twentyfive. She had a good figure; she was good looking. And if this weren’t bad enough, it was shown beyond a doubt that she had a number of thousand dollars in cash. Six girls shed tears of grief and indignation. Six young men announced that they didn’t even care for an introduction to Miss Carter, and then took advantage of the earliest opportunity to secure one. It was the married women of the town who let the old maid understand what thin ice she was sliding on, and the reply was: “Tell your daughters to wait before criticizing me. I may think best to get married some day, but I’ll give every girl in town a chance first.” It was a query with them whether the old maid, was in earnest, but she soon gave proof that she was. Number One man, who was engaged to Number One girl, had vowed a dozen times over that nothing but death could separate them, was introduced to Miss Carter in a store and called at her home. * On the fourth call he informed the old maid that if he was held to his engagement he should certainly commit suicide, as he had discovered that he and his fiancee were not congenial \ub to poetry. On his next call he boldly proposed marriage, and was surprised and bewildered when Miss Carter replied: "As you were born that way I suppose I shall have to overlook it." Miss Carter got word to girl Number One that she had refused an offer of marriage from the young man Number One, and after he was given a bad evening he returned to his loyalty. Then came the query from a dozfen people: “What do you suppose is the reason. she didn’t accept him ?” Number Two young man was ready to step in as Number One stepped out. He admitted his engagement to Number Two girl, but doubted if there would be a marriage. His fiancee had come out flat-footed and said she’d be hanged if she’d have a cat around the house after marriage. He being warmhearted toward cats, felt that it would be an unwise thing to be joined in the bonds of wedlock with such-a girl as that And then came a proposal. He loved. He loved as he had never loved before. Bhould it turn out that he had loved in vain the dark waters of Lake Erie should close over him. “Did you want me for a wife, sister, aunt or mother?” “Heartless woman!” “Run along, sonny, and grow some more and get older!” And he returned to the girl who didn’t love cats, Instead of plunging beneath the choppy waters of Lake Brie. And the cat girl was actually mad about it —mad 'at the old maid for refusing him, and there was contempt in her tones as she Inquired: “Who does Miss Sarah Carter think she is, anyhow?” A sewing machine man heard of Miss Carter and her money, and said to himself: “Now here’s where I show the world that a sewing machine man has a heart This old maid has been waiting for years, and years for an offer, but none has come. 1 will sacrifice myself.” And at his second call to see If she didn’t want to invest S3O in a machine that sewed and tucked and ruffled and hemmed and gathered, and did almost everything except the family washing, he drew a long breath and said: “I have thought I should never marry, but —■** “But now you think you will,” replied the maiden, to help him out. “I—l do.” “Then move right along to the widow Green’s. I believe she wants to get married, while I am sure I don’t” \ And when it became known that the old maid had given the unmarried females of Bloomfield still another chance, instead of gobbling the man up for herself, there wasn’t a word of praise for her. “She thinks nobody- good enough for-her-,” people said. “Think of the impudence of her picking out huebands far us!**

And just before the opening of prayer meeting at the Methodist church one evening, as eight or ten people were gossiping about the old maid, Deacon Pardon became so excited that he exclaimed: “By thunder, but she orter be arrested and made to give an account of herself! I’m telling you "that it ain’t natural—no, it ain’t natural.” A young druggist who had just started in business in Bloomfield had won favor In the eyes of at least three maidens, though he had as yet pledged himself to none. His trio of girls had been very bitter toward the old maid, believing that she would try to catch the druggist. Miss Carter had been in the store half a dozen times .to make small purchases, and, of course, had been treated politely, when one day the druggist found time to muse: “She’s an old maid, but I don’t believe she’s set in her ways. She has reached the age when she’s no longer frivolous, and she must know considerable about business.” And, after selling a box of pills to a farmer who complained about the pesky potato bugs, he went on: “There are three or four nice girls here, butjwho can tell what sort of wives they will make?” And, after selling a box of cough drops to a red-headed woman who observed that it looked like rain, the druggist went hack to his musing. “Yes, Miss Carter has got money, and she must find it a worry to marry for money, but if I had a tidy little sum I should know how to use it to good advantage. They say that Miss Carter is thirty-eight years old, while I am only twenty-four, but love does not take age into account.” That night he called at her home and said: “Miss Carter, lam a business man.” ■■ “Yes?” “I am called a rather blunt man.” “I see.” “Will you marry me?” “No, sir, I won’t!” “Will you tell me why?” he asked. “Because, sir, I am picking out husbands for others.” When it was reported that the old maid had turned down the druggist that one of the girls might have a chance at' him, an indignant meeting was held in almost every house. “What sort of a game is it?” was demanded. “Why doesn’t she lie and tattle and start rows the same as other old maids?” “I want to tell yon that this comes mighty nigh breaking down the bulwarks of American liberty!” said Deacon Pardon. At length one of the ministers was Induced to call on the old maid and ask for an explanation. “Have I been the cause of a single broken engagement?” she asked. “No-o-o.” “On the contrary, haven't I brought about quite a number?” “Yes.” “Do you know of a girl to Bloomfield tbat wants to marry but has no chance?" “I—l think not" "Then I don’t think I can be called upon to make further sacrifices.” And within a month she was married to a fruit-tree man, and Cupid was smiling on them, and Deacon Pardon was nibbing his leg and saying: “It’s a mighty funny way for an old maid to act, but I guess them bulwarks of liberty are all right—all right”