Evening Republican, Volume 19, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 January 1915 — THE INDIVIDUAL IN YOUR CHILD [ARTICLE]

THE INDIVIDUAL IN YOUR CHILD

“When I was a little girl/' a friend of mine once told me, “I was always so glad when company came to the house. My mother would change so. She would be cheerful and kind to company and would stop scolding and criticizing me. Sometimes I used to wish I could just be company all the time —she would hare been so kind to me always then.” How long could we hold the confidence and affection of our friends if we treated them as many of us treat our children? Most fathers and mothers ,do not seem to realise that the qualities which attract children to them and which secure their confidence are the same qualities which attract their friends and the good JfWth of the people with whom they associate. A father might as well pummel and abuse a friend every little while and then expect him to respect and love him as to pound and Abuse a child and. expect to gain his sere. Just because he belongs to him. Manx Barents seem to thtwk that ’because their own children are dependent upon them for their food, Clothing, shelter sad education, that fthey own their respect, gratitude and Jove, regardless of how they are pasted. The sense of relationship bs»

nothing whatever to do with a child’s feelings towards his tether, it te test as Impossible to compel the respect of octet child sa It ts to compel some other person to love us. You must earn Ms respect, just ss 700 would earn the respect of s friend. It costs you something to keep the good will and friendship of your children. The greatest hold the parent hai upon the child 1b Its companionship. How often we hear fathers and mothers say that they mo longer have any control over their son; that he has passed beyond their reach, and they do not know what to do with him. Now, my parent friends, have you ever tried to make a companion of your boy; tried to make him feel that you were his best friend, by sympathizing with him in his little troubles and trials? Do you take an inte&st In his hopes and ambitions? Have you tried to encourage him when he was down-hearted, had made a serious mistake." Have you sympathised with him in his struggles for self-control? Any business man would be horrified at the suggestion that he was ruining his son by neglect, that his absorption In business would result in the undoing of his own son. But if you have been In the habit of driving him away from you because you did not want to be bothered every time he asked a question or came to you with his little heartaches for your sympathy and your help, you cannot expect to have much influence over him. One of the bitterest' things in many a business man’s life has been the discovery, after he had made his money, that he had lost his hold, upon his boy, and he would give a large part of his fortune to recover hla loss. Every father should think of the child as a sacred trust, bringing into the world with him a sealed message, which he is bound to deliver like a man and a hero, and that this sealed message within him is sacred. It may not be even Tor the father to read; but it is each father’s duty to help his boy to live up to it It is comparatively easy for you to gain your boy’s confidence, If you begin early enough. From infancy, he should grow up to feel that no one else can take your place, that you stand In a peculiar relation to him, which no one else can fill. Every boy Is going to have a confidant, some one to whom he can tell his secrets mil whisper .his hopes and ambitions, which he would not breathe to others, and this some one should be his father.