Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 283, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 December 1914 — Page 3

MULVEY THE MACER

By CLARENCE L. CULLEN.

Mulvey the Maeer, not being a member of the Panhandlers’ union, works his independent or open-shop panhandling route anywhere in Broadway between Madison square and Longacre square. In one of the intersecting streets he was in the if loquacious enjoyment of an evening of rest and relaxation at his Tenth avenue hangout, a maltorium where the hops flagons are high hats and hard-stuff measures are short-handled dippers. He greeted me cordially and hospitably. "I read that t’ing o’*your’n in the Horseback magazine—-ye-eh, I gotcha,

The Cav-leer—about the macin’ game,” said he, a certain note of deprecation f ln his tone. "All I gotta say about that piece is this: It was and it wasn’t, w’ich is long fr yes and no. ‘T’ don’t wanta lis’n to these panners that blurt that this town is goin’ bad. I ain’t sayin’, un’stand, that the macin’ t’ing is what it useta be here. But it’s still wort’ w’ile if yhu know how to duck the bulls and are hep to character-readin’. Them’s the two main wires: Flaggin’ the rough-necks and knowin’ how to slant up the right marks to brace. “O’ course the first t’ing a manor's got to remember that expects to have the price of all the suds he can lick up when he knocks off woik is to keep from gittin,’ the souse on when he’s operatin’ his beat. This is hard, o’ course; but it’s gotta be done by a panner that wants to make a success

o’ pannin’. “Y’see, the souse can be put off till filter sundown, and it’ll be all the better after you’ve waited for it. Jes’ take a peek at the fun I’m havin’ wit’ meself right now, fr instance,” and Mulvey the Macer staked himself to another dipperful of the "fine old mellow bourbon, only five cents,” as the large placard on the barrel proclaimed It to be, and tossed the heavy shot Into his system without the use of or any other ameliorating fluid as a chaser, with every evidence of extreme relish. “As I’m chatterin’,” het went on, “that’s the first gag f'r the macer that act’ally expects to succeed—to hold off on his package till his wolk’s been done and all the loose duff’s been picked up and pouched. “The idee is, y’ get me, there’s a

lot o’ folkß that objec’ to dlggin’ up to a macer that looks like he wants to lean again’ a lamp-post of a’ awnin’ pole while he chirps f’r the change. I don’t know why they should objec’, but a lot o’ them do, as I’m sayin’. “Different macers has got different ldees about the kind o’ people that’s the best perducers.j>F’r mine, I alius make it a point to brace the big stifts. The little terriers ain’t diggers gen’ally. The sawed-off stift nearly alius wheels on the macer and callß him a bum and gits the clutch on his cane and swells out his 26-inch chest and turns back his head and tries to make hlsself look like the picture o’ the bantam champeen. It don’t make no difference what kind of a ditty the panner slips the little man in the way qL a spiel, it's alius or nearly alius t|e same. He gits the hoof. “The big stifts f’r mine, all the time, as I’m sayin’, and the kind wit’ the swell scenery. I alius pick out a swinger that pounds along as If he’s got a mortgage on the pavement and swaggers like a man-o’-wars-man at the beginnin’ o’ a four-day pickle. Y’ can alius dope it that a heavybreezer like this has got the change right in the little side kick', and that he likes to hear what a warm rag he is.

‘**MaJe,’ says I to one o' that kind, 'youse looks like yonse can chuck a minnlt’s time to lls’n to the chirp o' distress of a poor bloke that’s hit the coral reef,’ and then I sort o’ slant hiß raiment over wit’ envy in me wicks. "If he mooches right on, sayin', ‘on your way, bo, before I swing on youse f’r luck,’ I fall in half step behind him and hurl him that one about my onct bein’ able to flash the same klud o’ swellerino togs that he’s makin’ such a hit wit’. That gen’ally snags the big stifts. They pretend that they’re not listenin’, but they’re lappin’ it in all right, and then all you've gotta do is to keep up that line o’ bunk, slippin’ in one or two about benev’lent count’nances and prosp’rous, charitable looks, and all the like o’ that, and nine times outa ten you’ll see the big stiffs mitt makin’ fr the change-kick in his 'tunic. / \ “W’ile he’s goin’ f’r the ehuh k o’ change you wanta nudge Id that one about Lis lookin’ as if he’d never had a day’s bum luck in his-life, and then he’ll come back: ’“Don’t you ever git that idea in your bean —you don’t know what hard luck means.’

“I don’t know w’y it is that ev’ry guy in the swell push, w’ether he was born wit’ the gilt fork in Us chops or not, and that never was hungry of firsts f’r a mhunif in his life, likes to make hisself and others t’ink that he’s had about half o’ all the hard wallops that ever was dished out since the beginnin’ o’ the world. *’’Don’t youse never fink I ain’t been over the Jumps harder’n youse even dreamed of, bo,’ the bjg easy stiff wit’ the Joy togs on will say, and w’en be bands you that his piece o’ change is Jes’ as good as salted in y’r nankeens. “But p’ course they’s different kinds 1

o’ big stiffs. If, fr instance, w’en you brace the big boob with the money tailorin’ he hands youse the merry twink outa his windows and tells youse he needs all the booze coin he can earn fr his own low appetites, then it’s youse to slip him the candid spieL j, "‘Oh, well, I see youse is nex’, judge,’ says I to that kind, ‘and youse is' the kind of a man that can symp’thize wit’ a bum that ain’t lilted the price o’ a hooter fr two days—not o’ course that youse was ever in that bad a fix y’rself,’ says I. ‘“Oh, I wasn’t, hey?’ the mark nearly alius rebates when I give him that, and he gits to musin’, as he plods along—and me not far behind him—about the times w’en he’s been marooned in a prohibition town somewheres w’ere he couldn't spring a ball, and that nearly alius makes him skate to the center wit’ the price. ‘Tve had boobs like that, in slippin’ me the kale, say: ‘Look a here, youse, if ever I hear o’ youse buyin’ grub wit’ that, or doin’ anythin’ else wit' it ’ceptln’ gettin’ as much nose-paint f r it as it’s good fr, I’ll have yoose sloughed,’ meahin’ pinched. “But at that we can’t alius pick ’em right. ‘A w’ile back I gits it right on topa the bean from one o’ them big breezers. He was swingin’ along the big trail, ’long about time Vj me to knock off —I only wolks till/dark, see —and, as he has one o’ them good-na-tured buns wit’ him, says I to meself, ‘There’s two bits walkfla’ on two legs.’ # "So I eases him the chirp ’bout my needin’ Jes one to make me t’ink life’s wort’ livin’, and he stops and hands me such a beamin’ grin that the two bits looks as good as wheat in the bin.

“‘So youse needs Jes’ one pOoty bad, hey, chum?’ says the big stift, jammin’ his mitt into the side kick of his coat.

.“‘Never badder since I made me big entrance, maje,’ says I, and }t looked so soft that I was hopin’ maybe he wouldn’t have anythin’ on him smaller’n four bits.

“‘T’ink Jes’ one 'ud help yotise a huU lot, hey?’ says the toppy stift with the grinnki’ pickle on, pullin’ out a bull handful o’ the bright two and four bit pieces and runnin’ ’em over wit’ his lamp.

" "Guv’nor,’ says I, ‘it’s %Jmost a matter o’ life and deat’ wit’ me.’ “‘Me poor, unfortnit feller man,’ says he then, suddenly cuttin’ out the grin and puttin’ on the undertaker’s map, ‘yours is Indeed a sad, sad story, and the bowl, I tear me, has been the roon o’ youse. Here’ take this, and read it carefully; it’ll cheer youse up.’ “Wot d’ye t’ink it was he handed me wit’ his left fin as he put the change that he had in his right bad. in the kale kick? I hope to be nibbled to deaf by rabbits if it wasn’t the ‘Annual Report o’ the Methodist, Missions in Africa.’ Jes’ eases it po' me, the big stift, and trudges on, and me watchin’ his shoulders shakin’.

“Macin’ the skirts is a different gag altogether, i. When youse sets out to stick up the calicoes in the shoppln’ dlatric’-youse is got to switch the cut fill aroun’. Youse don’t wanta stack up ag’in’ the big, strappin’, coineylookin’ skirts at all. They won’t do f’r any part o’ the journey, find they’re li'ble to follow youse fr four blocks to put one o’ the biddies wit’ia badge nex’ td'youse. “Nothin’ like that stuff fr mine. In playin’ the calicoes along youse wants pick out the quiet-dressed, unassum-in’-lookin’ little fringtes that' ain’t got no strut about ’em at all, and that walk sort o’ wit’ their han’s in front of ’em, ol’-fashioned like, and their lamps on the ground.” .1

Vital Point

Mr. Porter’s judgment was vindicated. “Ah, ha,” he exclaimed triumphantly, “do jyou remember tliat little magnifying glass I gave a dollar for the other day? You said it was a clear waste of money. Well, It has more than paid for itself already.”. “How so?" inquired Mrs. Porter. “It detected a counterfeit $2 bill to which I had the presence of mind to apply it. Those bills are so well executed that even the etperts can hardly tell them from the genuine, bat my little magnifying glass brought out all its defects.” "How clever you are,” said Mrs. Porter, "to think of examining money with a magnifying glass. Now you can make the person who gave you the bill take it back. Who did give it to yon anyway?” Mr Porter’s Jaw fell. "By George!” he said, "I don’t remember.”

Auto Not Safe in Thunder Storm.

Let anyone who believes he is perfectly safe in a motor car during a thunderstorm, because the rubber tires are an effective bar to the passage of the electrical discharge, try the following experiment, if he dare:

• Standing on the ground beside the car, with its motor running, place a Anger on the top of the 'spark plug. He will not have to wait long for results! As the Scientific American remarks, the high tension current readily finds a path to the ground, regardless of the tires. Why should not a bolt oMightning find a similar path?

Domestic Loyally.

"What you want to do,’’ said the health pxpert, “is to sleep wlthtbe windows wide open, regardless pf the temperature.” Vs i "And let a frost sneak in and kill the rubber tree!” exclaimed Mr. Meek*, ton. "No, sir! My life is dear to me, but my home is even more so.’’— Washington Star.

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, DTP.

BURIAL OF ENGLISH SAILORS

Scene at the burial of forty-three English sailors whose bodies drifted ashore at Oravenzande (Hook of Holland). The men were members of the crews of the Cressy and other British vessels sunk by the German a

PHANTOM BATTLE IN AIR MARKS DIRIGIBLE'S END

How “flepubllque" Went to Her End Graphically Described by Writer. BOMBS DROP FROM CLOUDS ' \ Terror-Stricken Citizens See French Machine Buret Into Flames After Spectacular Fight, Then Qo ■Out In Darkness and Night.

The following word picture portraying a phantom night battle between airships, ghd the terror of a municipality under an aerial bomb attack, come* from Berlin, although It waa written on the scene described herein. Owing to the strict European censorship, however, the correspondent was not permitted to give the name of the town about whleh he writes ■o graphically.

Berlin;—The little French town Is lying asleep. It can do so in safety, because the patrols are awake. But on the other side of the mountain there is no sleep. The place is humming like a beehive. But there is perfect order. Every one is at his place. They are preparing for the march.

Patrols have returned with the report that the plain is free from the enemy. The little town is the place they mean to march to. They think the town is empty. The fact that the French had come in had not been made known. They came out of the forest, through which they marched during the night; and early in the morning they marched in, hidden by the vineyards.

Now the town is a small camp. Every house a fortress. The superior officers have taken up their quarters in the city hall. All lights are out

The mayor asks: “Why?” He is told: “Because the Germans haye airships."' The mayor makes the sign of the cross. He has heard of the Zeppelin. “But we also have airships,” the mayor says.

The French cfiptaln nods: • "One of them will go. up this night. It will fly over the hills to visit them over there.”

At night the officers ore entertained by the town. All townfolks of distinction are present. The notary makes a passionate speech about the brave army. The colonel thanks him in the name of his comrades. He speaks highly of the town and its hospitality. Two hours later, only the men on guard are still on their legs. But the mayor did not go to bed; also, the clergymen and notary are waiting. What for? For the Republique. - This is the famous aeroplane of whicfcTtbe captain spoke. Night Dark and Windy. The sky is dark and overcast with thick clouds. Only from time to time he dim light of the moon steals through these dense masses. But quickly it grows dark again. The wind whistles through the forest and through the vineyards into, the town, banging shutters and doors. Where is the Republique? The townsfolk 'have been waiting now for an hour, with their eyes fixed on the dark sky—but nothing—nothNow they hear a peculiar noise resounding through the darkness from above. They stretch their necks. But their eyes are unable to penetrate the darkness. They listen intently. The humming and buzzing become more distinct It sounds as if a gigantic bird were rapidly moving forward on his wings. Now they see something—or do they only believe they see it? —floating through the air like a torpedo. The French mayor would like to shout for Joy, “Vive la Republique!” Now the buzzing has turned into rattling and crackling. .It seems to the mayor as if he saw small lights, flickering, extinguishing and flaring up again. Now all has disappeared again in the darkness; only the bus-

sing still is heard—the heavy stroke of the wings of: the gigantic bird. But behind the mountain the Germans are on the lookout- The guards at the aviation post don’t know"sleep. The' eyes of the officer at the telegraph are as bright now as at noon. Now a spark and the writing lever splutters dashes —dots. ‘ He has sighted the Republique! A shrill whistled signal gives the alarm in' the station.

The Republique must not pass over the mountain. -They will try to cdtch her or drive her back at least Brief commands are given—precise instructions. A few minutes later a heavy biplane,stands ready to start A short examination of the wires and -supports, then the pilot and observer take their places. The motor is started, the apparatus staggers in wide jumps over the ground, and suddenly it shoots up with a last powerful pull. It disappears into the dark. The compass needle shows the way. They fly higher and higher; the ridges of the mountain become visible as a long, dark strip. .Now the biplane passes over them in smooth flight It keeps in the dark. The wind blows against it. The apparatus goes still higher. Now the moon breaks through the clouds for a moment giving a quickly disappearing track of light enough to show the Republique at a distance.

The enemy is discovered. Now caution and courage are needed. Perhaps the French airmen have likewise seen the German. Then there will be a life mid death struggle. But as a matter of fact the Republique has no warning of the approach of the German biplane, which is flying as wist as fin arrow, going higher and ever faster.

Like two birds of prey swooping upon one another they come. The biplane is more easily handled. The observer looks into the darkness with sharp eyes; the apparatus moves forward in roaring and rushing flight. Where is the Republique? Hurls Bombs on Town.

Another hour passes. Then the Germfin biplane is directed earthward. Below lies the little town like a dot, The apparatus descends lower and lower. The searchlight sends a flash over the ground like lightning. The mayor, who has not yet gone to bed, hastens to the window. Another flash of light. He looks up, sees only a shadow. But they in the aeroplane have seen enough—men and guns. And now something falls down from the height, like a stone, not aimed, but yet a hit. The missile bursts, a fire sheaf throws up eparks, splinters, cracking. The mayor starts back, thunderstruck, cries, rushes out Flames break out on the market; more cries; walls fall into ruins; the people are bewildered. Soldiers receive commands. Now shots go whizzing up toward the German biplane.

Another bomb is thrown to the ground, causing death and destruction! and leaving paralyzing horror. The German biplane, however, has disappeared in the aerial ocean. It is in full flight. It tries to come up with the Republique. It as&ends in a wide curve. Suddenly there is a buzzing noise before it It must be the Frenchman. It seems that he got lost in the dark. A yell of triumph escapes the observer. The apparatus mounts quickly in a spiral curve. Indeed, it is the Republique! The German airship Victoria now is like a hawk, measuring the distance. Now the searchlight plays, and it sends flashes of light over the Republique. Bombs are thrown. The prfferver watches them in the quick light One sinks into the night; another one also; but the third one makes a hit — it strikes the stern! The Republique, unable to fly over the enemy, moves along with diminishing speed. Now the Victoria is preparing for the finishing stroke. It, swoops down likb an eagle, sure of its prey. The airship seems to stand on end. And now bomb after bomb drops down with almost mathematical exactness. The Republique groans and writhes from her gaping wounds. Bhe Is mortally hurt. The linen covering the wings hang about the rods like flesh cut to shred. Now It blazes up—a gigantic firework. Then the French airship goes out in darkness and night!

HER SON FIGHTS FOR BRITAIN

German Woman Encounters Lad by Chance In Railway fttatlon lit -London.

London. —A well-known German woman, who is married to an Englishman, had a curious experience in London.. r Her son, fifteen years old, is a cadet in a British naval school, and it was her intention to get her son and take him to France to study French.

She reached England in the first days of the mobilization. As she got out of her trail? at Victoria station Bhe saw a procession of naval cadets pass along the platform. She stopped one of the youngsters. "Are you not from the school?" she asked him. Upon his replying affirmatively, she asked what the cadets were doing in London.

“Why, we are. being mobilized,” was the reply. “Mobilized! You are not going to the warships?” she demanded. “That’s what they say.” “Tell me, is Cadet X with you?" "I believe he is on the other side of the station.”

The mother rushed over there and soon found her son. He and his fellows were about to board an outgoing train, and she had only a few minutes to be with him. Then he left for a seaport, and was put on a warship and commissioned a midshipman. .

GANGRENE MICROBE IS FOUND

American Ambulance Bervlce Surgeons In Prance Make Discovery of Greatest Importance.

Paris. —A microbe causing gangrene in bullet and shrapnel wounds has been discovered by Drs. James Scarlett and Georges Desjardins of the American ambulance service. '

Previously Initial cultures all were Impure, leading to the belief of scientists that the disease was caused not by a single germ, but by a combination of germs. After much research and experimentation on horses and guinea pigs, a single bacillus has beeh discovered and isolated and the serum is being prepared by Dr. Henri Weisber* of the Pasteur institute.

The discovery is expected in medical circles to have world-wide importance. The serum is being injected into patients oh the battlefield in the early stages df infection, obviating amputations and preventing a great loss of life.

GERMANY IS ALWAYS READY

Chicago Man Relates an Incident Illustrating Germany's Preparedness for War.

Chicago.—Much has been said about the preparedness of the Germans for war. A Chicago man related this incident:

More than two years ago a subordinate German officer of the army was showing an American some things about the German way of being always ready to mobolize. They came upon an army wagon fully loaded. Horseshoes were dangling from beneath the wagon. “Where are your horses?” asked tide American. “For this particular wagon,” replied the German, “one of the horses is at John Smith’s farm, the other at the farm of John Jones. The shoes that you see here have been fitted to those two horses." ,

GERMAN OFFICERS FEW NOW

Rules for Promotion From Ranks Are Modified to Make Up the Shortage.

Bordeaux. —0 dispatch from <seneva to the Temps says that owing to the enormous losses in officers the German military authorities are now permitting the promotion of non-commis-sioned officers and even private soldiers who distinguish themselves in the face of the enemy to the rank of officer on the simple recommendation of a colonel and without the previous submission of the nomination, as heretofore, for the approbation of other officers of the regiment. This is supposed to be a concession of a democratic nature and is certain to be greatly disliked by the aristocratic caste officers.

SAVES SEVEN OF THE ENEMY

Wounded German Rescues Frenchmen and Becomes a Hero in the Hospital.

Paris.—" Among the wounded men from the fighting on the Tser was a young German with a bloodless, intellectual face. His head was a mass of bandages. He had Just been taken from a Red Cross train and placed tenderly in a bed lu -an Improvised hospital. The nurses gathered around him, some of them in tears. “ ‘He saved the lives of seven French soldiers.’ This, written on a blood-stained sheet of packing paper pinned upon a blanket, told that the young German was a hero. * That was all the French ambulance men found time to tell us.” '■.

Censor Leaves Headlines.

Paris.—After passing through the censor’s hands, the Intransigeant appeared recently with headlines in first column of an article on German trade-marks. The signature of the writer, Leon Batlby, also appeared/ but the entire text of the story waJr missing. The column was simpl? blank.

HOME TOWN HELPS

KILLING THE COUNTRY TOWN

Prosperity of Small Communities Menaced by the Operations of the : : Catalogue Houses.

At a recent convention in Chicago a paper was read by Capt. D. F. Dolan of Western, in which relationships of the fanner and the country merchant were taken up and thoroughly discussed with the end in view of thoroughly impressing the gathered hardware men with the necessity of meeting. the tillers half way. The paper has had almost a nation-wide circulation since that meeting, and comments have been very profuse wherever the trade papers In which it was reproduced have been read. A few extracts from it are of importance to the public generally and indicate what several hundred business men are thinking about at this Very moment. These outline the woof of trade transactions between country and town and show that there is a pronounced Interdependency between both which to result in prosperity of the state must be adhered to by each in the belief that he is meeting the other fellow half way, and that the other is doing the same to him. Hie paper, in pert, reads as follows: “Our business fears are enhanced by the operations jut the catalogue bouses, These become menaces besense if patronized to the exclusion et the rural trade they will kill the conntry towns which are the source and center of the best things in American Ufa. The future of the catalogue bouses depends upon the attitude of the people toward them. Every community must have some trading faculties, a place where the people can bring their produce and get needed merchandise and staples in return.”

BEST FOR RUSTIC FENCES

Olive Wood Is the Material Thai Bhould Be Employed Wherever It Js Possible. In building so-called rustle fences too free use is made of eucalyptus poles, wood that la too hopelessly straight for any rustic fence except of strictly formal design. One of the most satisfactory rough fences known to the City Beautiful man is made Of olive wood. In design, coloring, and general harmony with its rustlo surroundings and setting it is unsurpassed. Olive wood is an ideal material for any and all work of rustlo character. Oh the other hand, eucalyptus poles are ideal for supports for bridges, as stout poles of this material may be had of great strength and of considerable length. Across such stringers could be nailed a floor composed of smaller poles about two indies in diameter. Any superstructure deemed necessary could then be built of olive or some material less straight

London’s New Civic Ideal.

London university has taken up a modem position and given a lead to Oxford and Cambridge by appointing a professor of town planning. Realizing the vast importance of the move, we asked the occupant of the new office, Stanley D. Adshead, for a. few statements as to the lines upon which he will work. “You can’t study the shell without the mollusk, or, at least, the living inmate," said Mr. Adshead. “The chair; is particularly opportune. Of course, the school will go further than planning suburbs. As well as lecture courses for students, it has been suggested that there should be courses of public lectures." If this comes to pass, the general public will be able to keep abreast of expert opinion, and to take a practical and effective Interest in the city's welfare.—T. P.’s Weekly, London.

House Beds

Every building should have a space tor plants left close to the foundation. -No cement or other walks should be allowed within three feet if conditions will allow, and In new places this Is always possible. The angle formed by ground and ‘building should be filled with plants and an occasional vine should cumber over a corner or along; a porch. The house should appear to rise out of a mass of shrubs and plants, as a gem rises above its setting in Jewelry. No place has a proper finish without such provision tor embellishment

Bridegroom Forgot He Was Married.

Clark Conkling tells of a man in Lyons who had long boarded at a restaurant but finally there came a time when he was caught by the gracious smiles of a young woman. The wedding passed off Just like any other wedding, but the next day being a very busy one for- hubby, be forgot all about being married and st dinner time he entered the restaurant and took Ms seat at Ms accustomed place. It was not until he was half through with his dinner that the idea occurred to him that he was married sod Ma wife probably had awinner waiting tor him at home. He arose hastily, went borne* and ate about twice aa much as he ought to have eaten la order that his* wife would not find ouh bow forgetful he was. V - ' 1 i*‘