Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 235, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 October 1914 — Page 2

HAPPENINGS in the BIG CITIES

Tall Man From Inkster Suffers Geometric Jag DETROIT, MICH.—A tall man from Inkster came into the city the other night and got all mixed up with the traffic lines. When he stepped off an interurban ear, he found the street marked off In squares, oblongs, semi*

The policeman said it was nothing to get facetious about. “Formerly,” the policeman continued, “you could cross Woodward’avenue and not know at just what point of the road you were going to be hit. Now we have the pedestrian right where we want him. By herding him in the prescribed limits laid out by these pavement paintings, it sort of concentrates our accident*. Now, the pedestrian can get hit harder and with a more reasonable degree of certainty." _e The policeman explained that by walking within the limits of an elongated parallelogram, you eventually get across Woodward avenue. The lines do not entirely remove the certainty of being struck by any one of the following: Automobiles, street cars, motorcycles, trucks, horses, circus parades, elephants, fish flies and other night-blooming insects. They are supposed merely to minimize the danger. ' Folks are gradually becoming reconciled, to walking by rule. Lots of people who come downtown at night think It’s a game. The other night a man tried to walk one of, the lines on the campus to prove he still posseted mental poise. Ah ambulance later collected him and carried him away.

Dog Was Unable to Pick His Master in Court

NEW YORK. —Besides revolvers, empty pocketbooks, broken umbrellas, torn books, and many other articles "too numerous to mention” that are held by the property clerk at police headquarters awaiting claimants the olfice

has as one of the unclaimed “articles” a nice white bull terrier. The dog was claimed by two men, and Magistrate McQuade, sitting in police court, with Solomonlike wisdom determined to let the dog decide for himself. But there was a hitch in the canine’s choosing, and the magistrate said that a dog that could not pick his own master was not worth much, so he sent the terrier to the property clerk. '

Henry R. Stevens, piano dealer, was walking in Broadway at Forty-fourth street with a white bull terrier oh a leash when Frank Maurata, automobile salesman, seized the animal and claimed him. Mr. Stevens caused his arrest, and both men and. the dog and Mts. Matt rata went to the police court. When the dog was released from a pen Mr. Maurata called him: “Here, Yank!” The dog leaped joyfully to him and seemed to have found a longlost friend. "Here, Jimmy!" cried Mr. Stevens, and the fickle animal Instantly changed his ts ections and licked the face of the man who had called him. When Mrs. Maurata called him the dog bounded gleefully to her. Each claimant said he had purchased the animal, and Magistrate McQuade said: “I am unable to decide his ownership and will dismiss the complaint against Maurata and send the dog to the property clerk to be held for an owner.”

Mrs. Schaunerer Has the Habit of Sleep-Walking

ST. LOUIS, MO. —Mrs. Tillie Schaunerer of No. 115 Channing avenue is a confirmed somnambulist. Her nocturnal strolls have been interrupted by ■the police more than a dozen times in the last few months. The last occasion

machine. Cummings turned his car suddenly to the south to avoid striking the woman and hit the temporary tracks of the Hodiamont line with such force that the machine was thrown OVer on its side. Warren and Cummings both were hurled Into the street, but escaped with bruises. Mrs. Schaunerer, still asleep and unconscious of the accident she had caused, was turned over to a patrolman, who disarmed her, awakened her and took her home. A few weeks ago Mrs. Schaunerer walked in her sleep ten blocks from her home. On that occasion her relatives told the policeman who accompanied her homexthat they believed the only way they could stop her from leaving home In hekJsleep was to put extra locks on her bedroom door. She had been picked up in various parts of the Dayton street district on numerous previous occasions while walking about in her sleep. <•< -

Barnyard Opera Is O. K.; Vender’s Shouts? No

CHICAGO. —They may have to put up with barnyard grand opera in Evanston, but they draw the line at the peddlers' grand uproar. The campaign against the crowing of roosters, mooing of cows and barking of dogs at

night has fallen down hard, but the inhabitants of the peaceful and temperate North shore suburb reach their limit right there. *1 can't put the lid on the dogs and the chickens and the cows,” Desk Sergeant Dennis McHenry declared when he gave up the first antinoise campaign. "They call me up to kick night and day until they are a worse nuisance than the noises.” But the edict has gone out against the fest’ve street venders. No longer

are they to be allowed to give Imitations of Swiss bell ringers and steam calliopes as they call attention to the gentle asparagus, sweet corn, macaroni leaves and garlic which bedeck their wagons. No, sir. Chief Fred Shaffer has told all the policemen in Evanston that they Utaust muzzle the peddlers. According to the chiefs description, Evanston must now sound like a boiler factory five minutes before the lunch whistle blows and all the embryo heavyweight white hopes are hitting hard and thinking of their full dinner palls. . , "They blow whistle* add ring bells and whistle and short, and it's all got to stop,” he declared. _ * y . .. .

circles, rectangles, parallelograms, obtpse and acute triangles and right angle triangles. Balancing himself carefully on the hypotenuse of one of the latter, he spoke to a policeman as follows: "Mister, I don’t get into the city very often and I hope you’ll pardon my ignorance. What I want to know is this: Why has Detroit become so subdivided as to its main thoroughfares? Is there going to be a parade or just a game of tennis?”

was when she narrowly escaped walking into an automobile at Channing and Bell avenues at two o’clock in the morning. The chauffeur overturned his car to avoid a collision, .' Frank Cummings, chauffeur for Frank Warren, was driving his employer home and was about to cross Chamning avenue on Bell avenue when Mrs. Schaunerer, clad in a nightgown and carrying in her outstretched hand an empty revolver, started across Channing avenue in the path of the

• j ',v -.j. -• ■■ ■ ~ - -f- r THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

THE colors that one may choose tn selecting dress fabrics for the coming fall are varied enough, and many of them strong. But they are not as vivid as those that have marked the passing season, and the handsomest of materials and fall suitings may be said to deserve the term "sedate,” which one hears applied to them. Rich materials in quiet colors and trimmed, with natural furs Invite the use of gor-’ geous touches of vivid colors in their composition into costumes. Hence now enters the belt, with bag to match, made of brocades or stripes or other designs from the most, splendid fabrics of the loorps. It is the day of wide and sumptuous ribbons woven in the most intricate patterns and enriched with gold and silver threads. The costumer and the modiste looks to them for those dashes of lively color that are to be used in dress accessories. How well they answer the purpose! There is no color combination that cannot bp found among them, and they are as rich looking and as full of life as diamonds.

Describing the New Handkerchiefs

OF the half dozen new handkerchiefs selected for portrayal among the novelties now shown three are made at home and three are factory made. All are dainty and tasteful, showing a touch of color on white handkerchief linen. Thia color note appears in the finest hand embroidered handkerchiefs and is noticeably well liked on household linens as well. Initials, names, monograms and small decorations in flower designs are worked in one or more colors instead of white* The three handkerchiefs in the top row are -factory made. The first shows a printed border having a narrow band in pink in which small polka dots in white appear. It is finished in one corner with a fine embroidered spray in white, for which the pink band makes an effective background. Although the embroidery is machine mad* it is fine and wonderfully ac•curate. • .= A similar design appears in the seooM handkerchief. The colored bands

Bags and Belts to Match

The ever-pre%ent girdle requires the widest weaves, for it enwraps more of the figure than the waist line. It strays above or falls below or Ignores the waist entirely and encircles the hips. Or it becomes a sash which serves to wrap about both waist and hips and ties'in a bow low at the back or hangs in straight ends at the front But plain, soft ribbons only are used in this way. Gorgeous brocades are to be more sparingly Introduced in order to be effective. A girdle to match a bag like that shown in the picture needs to bo managed carefully. , The bag is made of the most splendid of wide brocaded ribbon with plenty of gold and silver marking the high lights in the design. It Is suspended by strape made of the ribbons from a jade bracelet and finished with an acorn made of silk and silver cord. There are many good models shown In bags made of ribbon and one may also buy ornaments ready to use In finishing them.

are plain, without polka dots, and one corner is decorated with an embroidered medallion in white. The third handkerchief 1* plain with a narrow hem. Its novelty, lies in the fact that the narrow lace at the edge of the hem is pink instead *of white. Each of these designs can be bought with blue or lavender colorings. The handkerchiefs shown in the second row are all finished with tiny roiled hems overcast with a crossed stitch in embroidery thread. Fine lines of color, matching that on the edge, are Introduced near the hem or crossing the handkerchiefs. This is done by pulling out one or two threads from the linen, as for drawn work, and replacing them with the embroidery thread, carefully run in with a vary fine needle. ' < Two of these handkerchiefs are decorated with little sprays of flowers, embroidered by hand in one corner. The third is finished with small Initial letters of the owner's name. JULIA BOTTOMLSV.

GOOD JOKES

FORESIGHT. Bouncer—Halloa, Jack! Got a clove in your pocket? -Muggs—Yes, here you are, old man. Bouncer—Thanks! Now have you a match? Muggs—l have. Help yourself. Bouncer —Thanks! Lend me your cigar cutter for a second, will you? Muggs—Certainly! But where's your cigar? Bouncer—Why, I was just going to ask you for one. Muggs—Humph! Well, here you are. The match you borrowed is to light the cigar, I suppose, and the cigar cut* ter is to take the end off? Bouncer—You’ve guessed it, old chap. Muggs—But what did you borrow the clove for? ~ Bouncer —Oh, that’s to chew after I take that drink you are going to buy me.—Tid-Bits.

A Reason for It. .

Motorist (blocked by load of hay)— I say, there, pull out and let me by. Farmer —Oh, I dunno ez I’m In any hurry. Motorist (angrily)—You seemed in a hurry, to let that other fellow’s carriage get past. Farmer—That’s ’cause his horse wuz eatin’ my hay. There hain’t ho danger o’ yew eatin’-it, I reckon. —Boston Transcript.

Imperturbable.

“He said I was a wart on the face of nature.” “What did you do?” “I told him his caustic remarks would have no effect on me.”

A New Composer.

“What is the orchestra playing?” asked Mr. Blowster. “Er—Something from Bacchanale,” answered Mrs. Gadsome, after a hasty glance at her program.

IN THE MUSEUM.

Manager—What is “The Man With the Iron Jaw” holding Tils jaw about? Assistant —Tried to eat one of his wife’s biscuite. '

Fond Imagination.

“What a voice that child has.” ‘yes,” replied the proud father. "It’s wonderful how he takes after me! Do you know, some parts of his vocalization sound exactly like my old college yells!”

Stepped All Over It.

• “If you dance with my wife again I’ll sue you for damages." “My dear sir, I have no desire to alienate her affections." “I mean for damages to that expensive costume.”

One on the Professor.

Professor (discussing organic and inorganic kingdoms)—New, if I should Shut my eyes—so —and dry my head — so—and remain perfectly still,, you would shy I was a clod. But I move, I leap. Then what do you call me?” Bright Pupil—A clodhopper, sir. -

Hardly Necessary.

“Have you called on Mrs. Waggles?” asked Mrs. Twobble. “Dear, no,” answered Mrs." Biascomb, “but they do say”—here follows 30 minjjies of animated gossip, concluding with, “I really must call to find out something about her.”

Those Horse Bonnets.

“Is my bat on straight?” asked the near horse-es the team. “Sure," replied the wff horse, “but, for gracious sake, if you want to keep it straight, quit wiggling your ears!”

Preparing.

“What do you intend to do gutter you leave college?” "Well, I haven't decided on anything definitely for the first year, except to come back for the class reunion.”

Appreciated Accomplishment

"Is your boy Josh much help to you on the fans?” “I should say so,” replied Farmer Corntossel. "I don’t know what we’d do without him when the summer boarders want to tango.”

A Public Worker.

"Mrs. Blustum is a woman who believes in doingthings.” "Gpilte so, but unfortunately for Mr. Blustum and the children, she doesn’t believe in doing things about th* bouse." \i

DOING ITS BEST.

The Englishman—The trouble with you Americans is that you eat too much. The American —Well, the beef trust Is trying to stop that

Boys, Beware.

The boy had passed a fairly good examination, and the old gentleman told him to come to work. “You may report tomorrow,” said he. “I gotcha,” chirped the boy. “Bpt you haven’t got was the swift comeback, “and you never will.” Moral: Some slang would Irritate any man. —Louisville Courier Journal.

The Busy Man.

£eals of laughter came from the president’s room as the secretary stepped* out. “Mr. Green is„too busy to see you at present," said the secretary, politely. “I’m sorry,” said the man who called .on business. “Will you go back and . tell Mr. Green that I’ve got two stories just as good as the one he’s heard, if he’ll let me in to tell them?" «

Fisherman’s Luck.

“Simple Simon went a-fishing in his mother’s pail." • Thus sang the children. “He wasn’t so simple at that,” commented the returning angler. “Here I am all scratched up and blistered and burned, with nothing whatever to show for my day’s work.” —Courier Journal.

Experience.

“We learn by experience," said the ready-made philosopher. “That’s true,” remarked Mr. Growcher. “We get a lot of information from experience, but Lt doesn’t seem to help. What’s the good of knowing what, the weather was day before yesterday?" —

Where He Shone.

' “Yes, sir; Sam Jones is the .lightweight champion of the South side.” • “That so? I didn’t know Jones was apprize fighter.” “He ain’t. He’s in the grocery business.”

Why They Want to Marry.

She —What in the world makes broken down widowers so anxious to marry again? He —Possibly because they want to get repaired.

A Sign of the Times.

*1 fear this is an era of unrest.” “I quite agree with you. Practically everybody you meet nowadays wants to dance the tango or the maxixe.” _

AFRAID OF GETTING WET.

Green—l’m no end-seat hog. On the street car I never sit on the end if— Wise —It’s raining, , .

Going the Pace.

"The gay Bohemian life for me,” Said Arthur Babson Huey; And then he ate with well feigned glee A bowl of rank chop suey. * » X . x . * ' .

A Different Gorge.

“How about that beautiful gorge you advertised?” "Yonder it is," said the landlords "Did you ever see a more beautiful ravine?” , 4',. Shs "Bah! I thought a gorge meant a great big meal.”— Pittsburgh Post

Much Put Upon.

"I understand he met with many hardships during his childhood." 44 “Indeed he did! His doting mother made him wear curls until he ww nearly twelve years old.” 4