Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 210, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 September 1914 — HOPE FOR THE NUDE-PATED [ARTICLE]

HOPE FOR THE NUDE-PATED

Naked Domes, Scene of Fly Tango Partlea, Are Made to Sprout Hair. Bald heads, cheer up; barbers, rejoice. Curly locks are to sprout from the barest dome ever fly tangoed on. As “the good men come from Glo’ster,” so the good news comes from Boston, that extraordinary city which is the home of the succulent bean and Virginia’s only rival in the family tree business. The great discovery was made in Massachusetts General hospital. Men have gone in with their scalps as nude as Mont Blanc and come out forever disqualified for the Front Row club.

Mayor Walter Wardwell of Cambridge was among the first to try the new system. The mayor was not entirely bald, but had a patch on the back of his head that looked like moths in sealskin. That spot is now the site for a scalp lock that would make even the best of Indians a backslider if he once saw it. Rubbing the scalp with a Turkish towel is the principal part of the treatment. This is done at regular Intervals and systematically followed up. Bald men hate to be bald. Everybody makes fun of them. Mosquitoes hold banquets on their craniums. The sun beats mercilessly down upon the bald spots of just and unjust alike. Not a victim but will gladly rub the skin off his pate to raise a few bulrushes there. Dr. Jacob B. Bruce, Jr., of”lhe out patients’ department of the hospital claims that the system will grow whiskers on a cake of ice and that the man who is laughed at today for rubbing his scalp till it is as red as a beet will tomorrow have a crop of hair that would make a wild man of Borneo jealous. Special treatment is necessary in each case, according to the particular ill afflicting the subject Doctor Bruce declared that baldness is a symptom of disease, and the fundamental trouble must be cured before the Turkish towel rubbing shows any effect. Bick men must be cured; thinkers must stop thinking, sinners must reform.