Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 210, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 September 1914 — PROBABLY. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

PROBABLY.

Tommie —Say, maw, what’s an “oath of office?” His Mamma—-What a politician says when he loses his office. Technical Terms. ~ • “You must pardon me!” exclaimed the golfer. “The trouble is that I have been so perplexed about naval matters that I got confused.” “What’s that got to do with the game?” “You didn’t hear my warning. I said ‘Aft!’ when I should have said .‘Fort!’” ■ \ Huh! "All things come to him who waits,” sighed the waiter. “What’s the matter now?” asked the chef. “Well,” replied the waiter, “so far I’ve collected a Panama dime, a Canadian nickel, a Mexican quarter, an English sixpence and a counterfeit half hollar as my tips.”

Appreciates Her Open-Handedness. “Why did you tip the girl at the bat stand so lavishly?” inquired the city friend. “Who, me?” returned old Dad Bing, the cattle king of Rampage, Okla., who is in town for a few days. “Why, Lord, man, look at this hat she gimme in place of my. old one.” The. Grand Promoter. "You ought to have some stock in my proposed rubber plantation.” "What will It cost to sell it out?” "Won’t cost anything. Another big idea. lam also organizing a school of forestry add shall charge boys SIOO per year each for the privilege of planting trees.’’ —Puck. An Eye to Effect. "You seem very much interested in the menu card?' ."I am,” replied Mr. Kollums. "Does the food appeal to you?” "Nq. It’s the literary style. Outside of regular poetry that’s the best typographical arrangement for killing off space that I have peen yet.” Hopeless. “I used to think I could make something out of that boy, but I’ve -given it up. He’s hopeless.” "Is it really as bad as that?” "It’s worse. He’s started wearing a monocle.” Plenty of It. "You can’t fool all the people all of the time.” • > “No. Still, the folks who get up the Sucker list don’t seem to have any trouble about securing material.” Experience. f Applicant—-Would you like to see my letters of recommendation? Busihess Man—No. I’ve written a good many letters Of .recommendation myself.