Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 208, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 September 1914 — Page 3 Advertisements Column 2 [ADVERTISEMENT]

UNION MIGHT BE POSTPONED Matter-of-Fact Serelda’s Two Good Reasons for Hesitating' About Setting the Day st* -- ~ V The Blanks* diald of all work was a practical young woman of , about twenty-seven years. One day when her mistress was making some plans for the future the matter-of-fact Serelda said: “I don’t know, ma’am. It might be that J won’t be with you much longer, an* then mebbe I will I ain’t sure yet” Knowing that a young man had called a good many times to see Serelda, her mistress said: “Are you thinking of getting married, Serelda T’ Without the least show of embarrassment or enthusiasm Serelda said: “Well, yes, to tell the truth, I am. Then again I don’t know If I will. Fve got a good place Jiere with good pay, and he’s such a fool mebbe Hl stay on with you!” The young man who has been jilted thinks that all the trouble in the world wears petticoats.

WELL, HE MADE THEM LAUGH Speaker at Banquet Intended to Be Humorous, and Quite Unconsciously He Was. Henry returned from the dinner and faced his expectant wife with a proud and smiling face. “Yes, thank you, my dear,” he said, in answer to her anxious inquiry. “The dinner was most pleasant, and my speech was the success of the evening.” “What did you say, darling?” “Oh, well, I can’t remember exactly, you know. But until I spoke all the speeches had fallen rather fiat, so I thought I would give them a little humor. And I succeeded, too! I bad hardly said more than six words when there was a pleased giggle round the huge table. In a few minutes I had them all rolling about with laughter, and when at last I sat down the applause was tremendous—tremendous!” At this point Henry removed his overcoat “I am glad your speech was such a success, dear,” answered his wife, , dutifully. “But next time you have to speak In public would it not be better to put a waistcoat under your dresscoat especially when you wear a dickey?” i Making It Complete. Mr. Fred Kerr, the actor, was playing at Ranelagh, and at the Lake hole drove eight successive balls straight Into the water. He had no more left in his.bag, and there was nothing more to be done —except one thing. Seizing his bag of clubs, he walked dramatically to the lake’s edge. -Then In a broken voice he said: “Old pond, have these as well,” and turning, with a sigh, walked home. A Doubtful Statement. “Ma, I would like to have a donkey. Did anybody ever give you a donkey for a present?” “Yes, child, your‘father did when he married- me.” DISAPPEARED Coffee Ails Vanish Before Postum. It seems almost too good tp be true, the way headache, nervousness, Insomnia, and many other obscure troubles vanish when coffee is dismissed and Fostum used as the regular table beverage. The reason is clear. Coffee contains a poisonous drug—caffeine—which causes the trouble, but Fostum contains only the food .elements in choice hard wheat with a little molasses. I A Phlla. man grew enthusiastic and wrote as follows: . “Until 18 months ago I used coffee regularly every day and suffered from headache, bitter taste in my mouth, and indigestion; was gloomy and irritable, had variable or absent appetite, loss of flesh, depressed in spirits, etc. “I attribute these things to coffee, because since I quit it and have drank Fostum I feel better than I had for 20 years, am less susceptible to cold, have gained 20 lbs. and the symptoms have disappeared—vanished before Postum.” Name given by Postum Co- Battle Creek, Mich. Read “The Road to Wellville," in pkgs. , Postum comes in two forms: Regular Postum—ngist ’be well boiled. 15c and 250 packages. Instant Postum —is a soluble powder. A teaspoonful dissolves quickly in a cup of hot water and, with cream and sugar, makes a delicious beverage Instantly. 30c and 50c tins. The cost per cup of both kinds is •bout the same. * “There’s • Reason” for Postum. —sold by Grocers. .