Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 195, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 August 1914 — Page 2

Lales of GOTHAM and other CITIES

There Are Many Bomb Enthusiasts in New York NEW YORK.—When In Some do as the Romans do. When In New York throw bombs. That Is the only way to keep even with the game. A New Yorker must get acclimated to bombs and bomb throwing, bomb fac-'

4 Your correspondent lives in an elevator apartment much better than he can afford on Washington Heights and the altitude was said to be too great for bombs. But it isn’t. New York apartment houses are, or should be, celebrated for the most extreme luxuries and the most atrocious crudities of civilization on the face of the twentieth century earth. One at the most highly amusing institutions of apartment houses is the purchase of ice. Ice is like chewing gum' and almond chocolate bars In Manhattan, dispensed everywhere. Some one has spoken of an “Ice trust.” I could never find this beneficent institution. If it is still struggling along It has my moral support. But all the ice I could ever locate was in the possession of certain Calabrians and Sicilians with wide grins and large earrings, who dwell in cellars and are uniformly named “Joe.” The "Joes” had a monopoly of our apartment There was Bharp rivalry between them, but it never took the form of price cutting. Then something dreadful happened.* Our superintendent—janitor Is now obsolete —went about denouncing the "Joes” as thieves and all the tenants were so wrought up that they finally consented to take ice from "Mr. John.” “Bang!” Our dreams of being outside the New York bomb zone were shattered. Considerable smoke was Issuing from the basement and scouting parties told . ns that Mr. John's department of ice was wrecked. “Bang!” This time In the middle of the night Many of the more temperamental tenants trooped to the fire escapes in pajamas and what-nots. There were in the year 1913, according to the police records, slightly more than a hundred bombs exploded In Greater New York.

This. Is One Way of Playing the Holdup Game

CLEVELAND, OHIO. —The “auto panhandler" ia the latest This species of the genus Man—and Woman —has become so prevalent and so bold the past few months that automobile owners are meekly asking each other; “Why own an automobile?”

“That very question, by the way, is expressive of the “auto panhandler’s” attitude toward life. It is his hallmark, his slogan and battle cry, his defense to all reproach. Illustrating the advanced methods of the “auto panhandler” is the experience the other day of a banker who drives his own machine. This man was passing through the Square on his way to Lorain when a young man, carrying a suitcase and accom-

panied by a young, woman, stepped out in front of the automobile and raised his hand impressively. “Take us to the Detroit boat dock, please,” said the young man, calmly. “We have only ten minutes.” / Too astonished to speak and feeling greatly humbled, the banker did as ordered. At the dock he turned around and opened the door. The young man fumbled in his jeans. “What’s the matter —lost something?” asked the banker. “Just hunting for a piece of change for you,” he said. “I can’t find anything but a nickel.” “That’s all right, thank you,” said the banker, relieved.

Youth Becomes a Huck Finn to Dodge Onion Bed

CHICAGO. —Huckleberry Finn is alive again. Right now Huck Finn is in danger of resuming the name of John Sopracki. Huck, or John, ran away the other day from his home at 8300 Mackinac avenue, South Chicago, and

“Johnny’s drownded,” he cried, and John, hidden behind a fence near by, smiled in glee. Having started parents and police on a hunt for the body, John started on his adventures. He slept in alleys, curling up in empty barrels, and for food stole bananas from the carts of fruit peddlers. When the police failed to find John’s clothing or any trace of the body they became suspicious. They wahted to question Tony, and Policeman Albert Hickland of the South Chicago police went to the Zabocki home. Tony couldn’t be found. The policeman at last went into the woodshed and heard sounds coming from under the floor. Hickland was rather large for the Bpace, but succeeded in dragging Tony into the yard. And right there Huck Finn became plain John. Tony confessed that his friend wanted to take a vacation and had asked him to spread the tale of bis drowning.

A City Farmer’s Strenuous Day of Recreation

INDIANAPOLIS, IND. —After a busy week this Park avenue man thought he would slip out to his farm, early Sunday, and hang around the growing corn and chickens and things for his every-other week vacation. He did what

he had always done —set his alarm clock for 5:30, and the old clock was faithful. But the man wasn’t He had spent a strenuous day, and thought he would turn over and sleep another dime’s worth —and he knew that his wife would rouse him—yes Indeed, he just knew she would. But his wife was tired of that sort of thing, and she let .him sleep. At 6:15 the city farmer jumped out of bed and dressed himself on the way to the traction station. He caught

Jils car by doing a marathon, and after be had recovered his win<f"he began, to read. His farm is only six miles from the city, and he was so busy reading that he forgot to get off at Stop 3. He came to three miles beyond his getting-off place, and bad the pleasure of walking back on the hot ties. When he arrived at his farmhouse, all raveled out, he found that his . tenants, too, had gone for an outing. This meant that he would not get his usual white meat and gravy dinner. He lounged around a while, an 4 finally coaxed a promising pullet into a sack, hit the pike for Stop 3 and boarded his car. Just about the time he was comfortably seated the pullet escaped from the sack and began cavorting around the car. After the panic was over and the chicken was sewed up again he leaned back and wondered what kind of a day the folks at home were having. He delivered his chicken to his wife and she told him it was one of “those old mammy chickens/’ and it would lake three dAyii to cook It

torles and premature bomb explosions. You may not believe this because you don’t live in New York, but let me remark right here that the center of the bomb zone hereabouts is the marble and gilt police headquarters, home of a thousand anti-bomb enthusiasts, at Centre and Broome streets, and there is no palace so exalted nor home so humble that the bomb like the useless Christmas gift, is unknown.

started on his career of adventure. He knew his mother wanted him to weed onions, so hej started the story that he had been drowned. Anthony Zabocki, thirteen years old, of 3325 Buffalo avenue, ran through the streets of South Chicago with tears in his eyes and told John’s parents of the tragedy which had followed a Bwim in the Calumet river. He was a reincarnation of Tom Sawyer.

THE EVENING. REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IMP.

Capes in Present and Coming Fashions

EVERYONE looks to the Grand Prix to foreshadow the styles for fall, and the event is rarely disappointing to those looking for ideas. At the recent meet no one had trouble in absorbing the fact that the cape has made a triumphal entry into the modes today, and is destined to be a feature in costumes for fall. There are capes long and short, separate and attached to jackets or coats, and.in all sorts of materials. And there are capes for all ages, as may be gathered from the picture of the French woman so frankly posing in the illustration given here. The choice In materials is immensely wide. Capes to be worn with suits are of the same material as the skirt. White serge, for present wear, is shown with vest and cape attached, and similar models are made of the various fashionable cotton fabrics in white or black and white. But the separate cape which is to do duty with any sort of dresß is usually made of satin or silk and In the majority of instances it is black. It Is often cut much Bhorter in front than at the back, and finished with a wide cape-collar. Already (very rich and very chic in appearance) black velvet capes have made their debut, not as a style prom-

Net Waist and Hat for August

FOR the dog days, the coolest of waists worn with white skirts and the coolest-looking hats are in order, not simply for the comfort of the wearer but for that of her friends. It is really refreshing to look at thin, snowy white dresses and crisp combinations of black and white in the days of the merciless sun and debilitating heat A net waist is pictured here which is as cool as any garment can be.' It is made of a fine white net, having dots and widely scattered sprats of embroidery over Its surface. This is mounted over a plain waist of coarser net used as a foundation. TJhese foundation waists, ready made, can be bought for so little thsit It is hardly worth while to make them. The waist in the picture is fulled in below the shoulders, but Is otherwise plain. The front and sleeves are edged with double ruffles, one of lace and one of net The open throat adds something to the attractive look of summer comfort which makes this so find a model. - v

ised for fall, but as one already established because adopted by the, smartest and most authoritative dressers at the French capital. Many capes of black satin are lined with white silk, or with white Striped with black. Gay roman stripes in satin are liked for lining capes of cloth. Plain, striped or crossbarred patterns have superseded brocades for this purpose? i But as- the season advances it is likely that brocades will come in for some consideration. The cape shown in the picture is of black satin and is lined with the same. It is swung from the shoulders in the manner French women like so much, by a heavy silk band made of several strands fastened together and terminating in long ornaments of passemenr terle. ' A cape for a little girl is in white cloth, and, so far as design 1b concerned, is a replica of that worn by her elders. The elaborate fastening is omitted and the wide collar also, as a concession to the simplicity which is demanded In clothes for children. Capes are convenient, graceful and never entirely out of fashion. They are easy to make, and there Is no question of their coming popularity.

The hat 1b of black and white satin stretched over a buckram frame with an indented crown. . An equally good effect results from covering a plain frame with the satin and adding a band of buckram, also covered, as a collar around the crown. A trimming suited to the late summer season finishes the design. It consists of little bunches of small fruits —cherries, berries, tiny peaches—set in glossy green foliage. A black and white skirt of wash fabric is worn with the waist, and a belt of satin Mbbon, in black and white strlpeß, like the silk of which the hat is made. White canvas shoes and lisle thread or silk hose finish the details of the toilette. Net waists, besides being cool, are easily and safely laundered. One can hardly choose a more useful garment, for, after the summer Is gone, they are available for wear under bodices that open at the front where a touch of white is needed next th« face. ■ ''a . JULIA BOTTOMLKY.

SMILES

GOdD ENOUGH ALREADY. This is the old thin& she quoted: "A woman, a dog and a walnut tree, the more you beat them the better they be.” - This is what the Brute answered: “Well, what of itr "Are you one of those who think that silly old rhyme true?” “Not altogether.” “I am much relieved,” said the woman. “I was as*ald that you were a reactionary, but I see that you are a modern. Now tell |ne what it is in that horrid old- rhyme that you can’t Btand for?” “Well, I never- could see,” eaid the man, frankly, “why a walnut tree had to be beaten.” Men will be men!—Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Her Future Blasted.

“I hear your daughter is, going to retire from the stage.” • “Yes, she is.” “What's the trouble? I thought she was possessed of talent?” “She is. She has a splendid voice and much dramatic ability, but she sprained a tendon in her ankle and won’t be able to dance for a year’ or more, so she thought she might as well settle down and get married.” ■ —Detroit Free Press.

A Wish Easily Gratified.

“A great deal of what we call pleasure is largely imaginary,” said the ready-made philosopher. “I suppose so,” replied the man who was working on his automobile. “Now, wouldn’t you like to be able to take a long ride without having to worry about speed limits or spark plugs or tires or anything at all?” “I should say bo!” “Well, here’s a street car ticket."

HEIGHT OF BUSS.

Weary—Gep! If a feller could invent a way to eat in his sleep, dis woild ’d be all right!

Kind Man.

“You don’t know how to handle a woman," said Mr. Peck. “Keep your mouth shut and refuse to talk when she is roasting you. Why do you argue with your wife?” “Oh, well,” replied Mr. Gabb. “The poor woman is entitled to a little pleasure once in a while.”

His Guess.

Bacon —A University of Pennsylvania scientist asserts he has found a way to tell from crystals of blood the race of the man from whom the blood came. Egbert—ls it’s blue, the man is from Boston; if it is amber, he’s from Milwaukee, I suppose.

Not at Home.

A little girl, on being told by her mother that when a child died an qngel came and took her up to heaven, thought deeply for a moment and then said: “Mamma, if an angel comes asking for me, eay I’m not in.’’

His Natural Field.

Insan —How times have changed within the last 20 years. I wonder what old Sitting Bull .would do if he could come back to earth? Oudts —He would probably accept an engagement with a moving picture concern.—Youngstown Telegram.

Variety:

“All the stories in this magazine read alike.” “Yes,” replied the man at the newsstand. “But you will observe that the cover design is changed weekly.”

Keeping the Record Straight

“He’s broke.’’ “And the girl he was engaged to has dropped him.” / “She dropped and broke him, eh?” “No; she broke and dropped him.”

Pride.

“I understand that you danced the tango all night” "That’e the way people will try to belittle a man’s record!” exclaimed Uncle Flopsole. “Anybody can tango all night 1 started in at one o’clock the previous afternoon.” ' r ■ %

A Drawback.

"My Alexander is such an unusually bright boy'.” > "Well, If you want to make friends far him, don't let anybody suspect be is a smart Aleck.”

VERY TRUE.

The Stage Manager—He can play "drunken parts” better than any man on the stage. The Business Manager —Yes; but he’s too fond of rehearsing.

Too Much of It.

“Would George enlist?” “No, I don’t think he would.” I "What's the reason? * He comes Of fighting stock.” “That’s the reason. He’s soured on fighting. His grandmother is a colonial Dame, his aunt Is a D. A. R. and his mother is a militant!”

Men and Their Times.

“When I was your age, I didn't spend my days joy riding,” Bald the reproving father." "Well,” replied the self-confident youth, “I’m going to avoid your mistakes, too. When I get to be your age, I’m not going to stay up half the night dancing the tango.”.

Wonderful Imagination.

Author —I have an. order for a sea story. Wife—But how can you write a sea Btory when you haven't been on the water for years? Author—Well, I’ve been married tor 20 years and yet I can write a love story.—Boston Evening Transcript.

Plain Talk.

"I have a damage suit against a railroad. Will you take my case on a contingent fee?” ' “I had better send you to another lawyer, miss. I fear my charge would be too high. To be candid, you are not pretty enough to get over SSOO, in my opinion.”

Not That Way.

SheI—Why 1 —Why do they allow policemo* to act so brutally as actually to torture people? He—They don't. Why do you ask that? > : She—Well, here’s the paper says a policeman pinched a gangster and made him squeal.

Of Course.

Patience —I see France maintains an institute of zoological psychology on a farm near Paris for the study of the habits of animals under natural conditions. - Patrice —Suppose, of course, they have trolley,^cars with end seats there?

The Wrong Advice.

“What made Poppel lose faith in Dr. Bloster?” "The doctor told him that he needed more exercise, and Poppel is a drummer who makes 57 varieties of noise in a moving-picture more Sun. -

SURE THING.

Jig—Can you tell me where the first lawn fete was held? . Wig—On the lawn, I reckon.

Hie Fate.

He was a city councilman - Deaf to the people’s call; And now he’s In the discard heap. While they play Sunday ball.

Had Edison Beaten.

v ; Farmer—Yes, sir, that hired man of mine is one of the greatest inventors of the century. City Boarder—You don’t say! What did he invent? Farmer—Petrified motion. —Judge.

His Line of Thought.

"I suppose you are thinking up new things to tell the people out home.” "No," replied Senator Borghum. “I’m trying to find some way to take •back what I told them when 1 wan there before.” < ,