Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 149, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 June 1914 — THE WITS AND THE HAMMER. [ARTICLE]

THE WITS AND THE HAMMER.

The Knocking Was Too Mach fo»l the Man He Took a Car. • - “If you want to have It hr pressed on your mind that your acquaint-! ances are all wits,” said a Denver doctor recently, “just walk up the street with a hammer in your hand. Thursday my wife wanted to crack some nuts and asked me to borrow a hammer for her, I decided that we needed one bad enough for me to buy one, so at noon I stepped into a hardware store and made the purchase. I was In a hurry and did not have it wrapped up. I started homeward with that hammer in my hand. I had gone only about a block when a lawyer friend of mine caught sight of me. He was across the street, but that made no difference. “ ‘Hey, Jim,’ he called, ‘what’a up? Going to do a little knocking?’ “I smiled and went my way in silence. Pretty soon another friend saw me. He crossed the street and stopped me. ‘Jim,’ he said, ‘you ought to get some nails aol take a drive.’ “Again T smiled and pasted on. Not long after that a married woman who lives near us met me. ‘Why, how do you do? * she said, smiling, ‘I suppose your name is Hammerstein, now.’ "That was pretty fierce, but she was A lady, so I let it go. Two blocks farther on I met our grocery boy. ‘Going to be popular soon, I see, Mr. Blank,’ he said, pleasantly. ‘How’s that?’ I replied. ‘Well, you’re going to make a hit with the nails, I presume,’ be said. "That was plenty. I hid • the blamed hammer under my coat and look a street car.”—Denver Post.