Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 113, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 May 1914 — WITH A RESERVATION. [ARTICLE]

WITH A RESERVATION.

The Butler Bald Everything waa All Right, But — The late depression we have had in the financial world caused a friend of mine to be much worried. He went to his physician, who advised him to take a rest “Now, Charlie,” he said, "you must atop smoking and excitement of all kinds; in fact, you must keep yourself entirely by yourself; receive no mail, read no letters and get no news from the outside world. Go away, sir, for a month.” My friend did this and was much improved. Returning home he met his butler at the station and said: “James, how is everything? All right?” / ~/; / ■ ■ ' “Yes, sir; everything- la all right, sir. Purty good—” “Anything happen while I was Sway?” “No, sir; everything Is all right—except your dog, sir.” “My dog?” “Your dog, sir." "What happened to him?** “He’s dead—" "Dead?" "Yes sir.” "What did he die of?” "I don’t know, sir. I think it was from eating burnt horse flesh, sir.” "Burnt horse flesh? Why, how did that happen?” "Well, I don’t know, sir. I think tt was from the barn, sir.” “The barn?” “Yes, sir. The barn burned down, sir."Why, how did that happen?” “Well, you see, sir, I think It waa from the. sparks from the house —” "What house?" “Why your house. It burned down, sir” “What! My house burned down? Why, how did that catch fire? "I don’t know exactly. I think It was from the curtains in the win* dows —” "Why, how did they catch fire?” "Well, I don’t know. I think they must have caught from the candles.” "What candles? We haven’t any candles In our house. We use nothing but electricity and gas." "I know, sir. But the candles were all around the coffin —" “The coffin? why, who’s dead?" "Oh, nobody but your mother-in-law, sir.” "My mother-in-law?" "Yes, sir." "How did she die?” "I don’t know, sir, bat I think it was from the shock?” "The shock?” i "Yes, sir." "What shock?” "Well, you see—your wife ran away with the coachman." —Marshall P. Wilder in “The Circle."