Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 99, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 April 1914 — DYING OBSERVATIONS [ARTICLE]

DYING OBSERVATIONS

The optimißt—“Going up!” The lawyer—" Now I lie forever.” The barber —“St. Peter 1b next!” The bank cashier—“ Over the border.” The auctioneer—“Going—going—gone!” The policeman—“ Here’s where I move on.” The doctor —“I must take my own medicine.” The aviator —“Now for a new altitude record.” The plumber—“l must leave my tools behind.” The telephone girl—“ Hello, contrail Give me heaven!” The drug clerk—“l am about to substitute heaven for earth.” The Insurance agent—“lf I had only taken out one of my own policies.” The photographer—“ Don’t go on that way, my friends. Look pleasant” The polar explorer—“l do not claim positively this is the goal. I say, I think it is. No one can be sure.” The pessimist—“ Going down!” —Exchange.