Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 92, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 April 1914 — Page 2

Cales of GOTHAM and other CITIES

St. Louis Horse Seeks Styles and Wrecks Shop

ST. LOUIS, MO. —A negro employed by the Kroger Grocery company was leading a horse west on Market street the other afternoon, when the horse started into an alley near Twenty-third street, broke loose and with a single-

side of the door, the latter being open in welcome to the prospective purchaser. The horse discovered the store and evidently took a liking to the styles displayed. He entered the store. The singletree caught both doorway dummies and they fell to the pavement. After invading the store the horse started for the rear, where the more advanced styles are kept. On the way an art cuspidor was in his way. Mr. Horse promptly put a foot down on it At the end of the store is a stairway leading to a fitting balcony. Toward this the horse headed, turning over several tables, chairs and other things. Meanwhile Harry Yatkeman had vacated the store. His brother, Ben, held the fort Then, after scrambling over a table, the horse took the stairs with a leap, landing halfway up, pawed with desperation a mdment, slipped a step, then fell crashing to the floor, where he lay still. The negro rushed in at this moment * « ’ “Will you take >25 for the damage, boss?” he asked Ben. Ben thought hard for a moment *Tve got an awful pain in my leg,” Ben said. ‘Til have to wait and talk it over with Harry.” . The horse was then led out, once more in bondage, while the merchants started to tabulate the damages.

Most $5 Bills Are Not Jokes; This One Was

KANSAS CITY, MO. —A $5 bill is no Joke nowadays; but a grocer over on the South side managed to derive considerable excitement from a phony $5 bill the other day. An enterprising wholesale firm gbt out a phony bill with

its advertisement printed on it in fine letters. The South side grocer was presented with one and thrust it in his pocket that evening when he went home to dinner. His wife was reading the bargain page in the paper when he reached home and inquired into the state of the family exchequer. “Yeu never give me any money,” she complained. "Surprise me once with a piece of money without my asking.” “Sure thing,” said the grocer, and

handed over the phony bill. It was examined —and execrated in the same breath. Then the wife put it in a sugar bowl on the sideboard, where the maid found it later in the evening. The maid happened to need about that much, so she appropriated it to her own uses. Early the next morning she hurried down to a corner store and had the bill changed to five ones, which she adroitly concealed in her shoe, according to the latest ideas in the women detective stories she was reading at the time. About two hours later the missus was a trifle surprised to find an enraged storekeeper on her front step, holding her phony |5 bill in his hand and demanding his money back. “I want those five ones,” he howled. The maid discreetly ’retired to the kitchen and laced her shoe a little tighter. “If you’d Just explain,” said the mistress, “maybe I’d have some idea of what all this is about.* “Your maid brought this ?5 bill to my store this morning and said you wanted it changed to ones,” sputtered the storekeeper. “I gave ’em to her, and less’n two hours afterward a man threatened to have me arrested for trying to pass a phony bill on him.” The maid was haled to the court of inquiry, and with many tears and sobs confessed to her unholy hankering for five bucks. She unlaced the money, "was fired on the spot and the incident closed.

Allow Them to Smoke at Women’s Select Club

NEW YORK.—Just off Fifth avenue, in the wonderful new section of town which is growing up around the Grand Central terminal, is the Women's University club. At 106 East Fcrty-second street, to be precise, its nine neat

vaded the sacred precincts, leaving in our trail an odor of burning tobacco “Each section is furnished by a different college,” explained Miss Smith. “We did the library on the third floor. Vassar the living room on the fourth floor, Bernard the reception room on the first floor, and the “U” of Chicago the dressing room on the first floor. Wells gave the silver, and so on." This was certainly a real club. But there was a different atmosphere than that of a man’s menage. Everything was bright and sunny. The man’s club is dull and somber. Here the furnishings were gay and Warm, positively cheerful. It was not a place to while away a fit of the blues, but a place to forget them. “I don’t think this club will break up any homes,’’ I observed sincerely. “That tired wife and mother ought to come back to father and the children with a new bundle of sunshine after an hour or two here.”

Tells Court Why He Stole “Rags” for. His Girl

DETROIT, MICH. —“Lawsee, but dat gal o’ Dave Ross’s was shuah ’nuff dolled up—jes’ lak chlqken, boy, an’ Dave done gabe 'er eb’ry one dem rags, too.” “Dave" Ross stole the five ladies’ short coats —he freely admitted it when

arraigned in police court before Jus tlce Stein on the complaint of Caspar Kuschlnski, who keeps a store on Gratiot avenue. bn the same charge, another person of the same hue was arraigned with "Dave" —Harry Williams, but “Dave” Cleared Williams of all complicity in the theft and the latter was discharged. Ji, "You-all admits that you-all stole these clothes, do you, Dave?’’ asked Justice Stein. .

I "Yessuh. Ah admits it, all right, seein' as dey done got de goods on me," .Bald Dave, with a grin. “But Ah was de on’y one, jedgh.” , "Stole them for your girl, did you, Dave?” asked the court. ’’Yessuh,” said Dave, honestly. “Yuh see, jedge, Ah jes’ done had ter do it She tel'.ed me, Lindy did, dat if Ah didn’t dress ’er up lak de Oder swell queens paradin’ de streets dat she'd leab me an’ git anudder man. So Ah went out an'—well, yo* honoh, Ah’d still got dat gal, anyhow.” Justice Stain found Dave guilty of the charge and suspended sentence.

tree attached to the harness trailing behind, entered a clothing store, and in 30 seconds did more serious damage than the proverbial bull in a china shop. After jerking loose from the negro, the horse galloped into Market street and appropriated the sidewalk. At 2309 Market street Harry and Benjamin Yatkeman conduct a secondhand clothing store. To display their goods to advantage a dummy, dressed a la John Drew, is placed on each

stone stories loom up briskly. I was convoyed thither by a Smith college alumna, writes our New York correspondent. , “Oh, dear me, how distressing!” she exclaimed at the entrance. I had thrown away about half of one of my favorite cigars. “You don’t think we'd be as inhospitable, as ihat t ?” she continued. “Men guests are always privileged to smoke here. We can, too, though few of the girls do.” So I lit up a fresh butt and we in-

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

Some Fashionable Millinery Howers

FASHIONABLE millinery is gay with flowers and there is no end to the flower story. . After one has become acquainted with a world of them, an excursion into any of the best shops will discover a new lot or a new manner of using them, or a new color combination that is liable to enrapture the beholder. They are made of all sorts of fabrics and of other things than fabrics. For recently (but rarely) small china flowers have been discovered on hats, and little blossoms made of leather, or something that looks like it. Besides, there are any number of small fruits made of some sort of composition, and there are grasses that grew out of the ground, which no hand but nature’s could fashion. They are so dainty and wonderful, with hairlike branches and showers and pods the size of pinheads. Grasses should be reckoned with by the milliner, for they appeal to the best of her trade. There are a few artificial grasses which, like the natural ones used, have been dyed into all the lovely colors of the season and are used in connection with small flowers with such fine effect that they are sure to be in increasing demand as the season advances. .Small flowers appear to lead in popular demand, but there is no great discrepancy between the liking for them and for larger varieties. Wreaths and bouquets made of several kinds of blossoms make possible the use of many harmonizing colors at once, which is a feature of the demands of this particular season. But there are just as many hats trimmed with flowers in a single variety aS there are trimmed with bouquets.

Neckwear and Undersleeves for Summer

THE new feature in neckwear is the Medici collar, which is supported by small wires or tiny bones. Ruffs and deml-collars are all made to stand up in the most sprightly fashion, which is a quite decided change from the sllmpsy, ‘Yalllng-down effects which have prevailed during the past year. Besides the wired collars and ruffs there are many net undersleeves. They extend from the elbow to the wrist with ruffles hanging oven the hands. These ruffles are either of the net or of fine lace and are rather full. When made of net, fine side plaits are preferred to plain ruffles. Also in choosing nets a fine quality is the only satisfactory selection, because it stands the necessary washing without being harmed. The Medici collar is worn with turn* down and sailor collars or without them. It is combined with fichu ends also, as shown in the illustration given here. These flchu ends are usually made of net and trimmed with lace insertions and edges, but the filmy shadow lace woven with a net pattern

And there is no one flower more favored than all others. Even the rose holds no pre-eminence, but roses of all sorts, from the tiniest “button roses” to the most gorgeous full bloom, extra big kind, are blooming on spring millinery wherever a display of it is seen. Millinery flowers deserve the success they are making. Their manufacturers have produced them with the most painstaking care. The colors are beautiful beyond any that have gone before. The color combinations are wonderful and new. Nothing apparently has been too much trouble, no detail too intricate or too small for the makers of flowers to undertake. As a result, millinery is charming and bright, the most pleasing that has been produced for several springs. The Illustration given here pictures a few of the new flowers and from it their sizes and forms can be learned. Their beauty of coloring and their sheen and softness of texture is lost, since they cannot be reproduced in a picture. The rose with long stem and foliage is made of silk in the natural rose colors with petals and leaves that are marvels of fidelity to nature. The lilacs are made of a fabric manufactured especially for the use of flower makers, with a surface so like that of the blossom that it easily deceives the eye. Velvet, also specially manufactured, is used for many flowers and together with silk in some of the roses. Small fruits are made of it, little green and yellow lemons and peaches, cherries, plums and a few grapes. Satin is used also for smaller fruits and berries.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

at the top, make very pretty fichus, which do not need lace insertion or edging; the pattern woven in the lace takes their place. These pretty accessories seem to belong to the fabrics which are popular for summer dresses —the printed chailies and voiles, the thin and quaintly figured silks, and all the soft crepes in cotton or silk which are so attractive in appearance and in price. Many of the cotton fabrics and the light wool challies are as beautiful in design and coloring as the most ex* pensive silks, after which they are patterned, but they range In price ba tween 40 and 80 cents a yard and sometimes may be bought for even less. The accessories that prove the greatest satisfaction to the wearer are those that can be used to freshen up ,a dress and that will stand freshening up themselves by means of soap and water. Therefore, these net sleeves and sprightly collars are destined to play a prominent part in our summer belongings.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

GOOD JOKES

THE RULING PASSION. . The digger had been caught in a network of falling timbers and imprisoned 30 feet below the surface. He contrived by pounding on the boards to attract attention. The rescuers worked vigorously. An iron pipe was pushed down to him. He was fed through it A larger pipe was insertedand presently a vigorous jarring of the metal indicated that'the man desired to tajk. ‘‘Hullo, below there,” called a rescuer. He put his ear to the opening. Suddenly he made a silencing gesture with his hand. All was quiet Suddenly the man started. "What does he say?” clamored a hundred voices. The man with his ear at the pipe looked around. "He has just asked me a question.” “Repeat it,” they yelled. “What’s the score?”—(Jlevef and Plain Dealer.

His Views.

“They say that women have no sense of humor:’’ “Well, it’s a good thing.” “How so?” “If a woman laughed heartily it would endanger every button on those tight gowns.”—Kansas City Journal.

How She Knew.

Mr. Saphead ,(during the honeymoon)—When did my little duckie darling first discover that she loved me? Bride (sweetly)—When I found myself getting mad every time any one called you a fool. —New York Weekly.

At the Seance.

Medium —I see the spirit of a man who passed away through some bronchial trouble. He says he is your husband. Is that so, mam? Widow (weeping): “It must be; he was killed by an explosion in the Bronx tunnel.”

His Helpmate.

"He says his success is due entirely to his wife.” “But his wife divorced him!” "Yes, but he had to hustle so hard to earn the alimony the court, granted her that he became the business success you now see.”

WOULDN’T STAND IT

He —If you’ll marry me I’ll promise never to speak a harsh word. She —I see you’ve sized up my temper already. f

That’s Different.

“What makes Jinx look so grouchy?” “His wife is doing the striking and he is fuhnishing the hunger.”

Sensation Explained.

Wayside Walter —Gee, my tongue this morning feels as if it was covered with fur a foot long. Tired Tommie —No wonder; I just noticed by the label that the bottle you swiped from that house last night contained hair restorer. —Youngstown Telegram. i

Not Girl-Like.

"This is your newly-arrived little girl sldter, Tommie,” said the father. “I don’t believe It Is a girl, papa.” "Why not?” "Because she don’t say anything.”

As Through a Sieve.

Mrs. Swamley—lt is said by those who know him that Huerta is a refined person. Mr. Swamley—He should be; he’s been crumbling long enough.

Accounted For.

“Miss Maudie boasts that she has so many callers that she’s tired out receiving them." "Didn’t you know she is a telephone operator?"

Political and Domestic Economy.

"Do you study political economy in your school?” "Yes, indeed. Six of us girls study it together, and every night we meet In Sis Allen’s room and make fudge.” —Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Brief interview.

Chauffeur —I ran across your old friend. Joe Williams in Boston' last wedc. Philadelphian—lndeed! How to he? Chauffeur—Dead; he never regained consciousness."

Giving His Own a Rest. “That young man you were just dancing with is one of our most suocessful business men.” s “Yes.” "Yes. He seems to be able to call the turn on the market, and he always lands on his feet” "Then he is taking a vacation just now.” “What gives you that idea?” “Because all during the dance he kept landing on my feet”

Call for Experience.

"So you don’t thing that railway official knows much about the practical side of railroading.” “I should say not,” replietf Mr. Crosslots. “He sits up in. an upholstered office or rides around in a private car. If he wants to learn the business he ought to come around and commute awhile.”

ACT SO CHILDISH

Mr. Justso —Some men are as old as they act. Miss Caustique—ln that case some are young enough to have a guardian.

Not a Siren. ,

I’m going to buy an auto, But all agents are warned I will have no other kind Save one that’s been dehorned.

Paradoxical Prospect

“You seem to think that the railroads are going to make all the money there is." “Well,” replied the man with the complex mind, "I like to see the railroads prosper. But if they take all the profits only railroad owners can afford to travel, and they can have passes.”

Both Have Faults.

Cooke —I heard a lecturer last evening who had the right idea. Frye—What did he say? “He said there’s no use trying to reform a woman with a club. “Yes, and I , don’t think much of sewing societies, either.” —Youngstown Telegram.

Heard at a Reception.

“So the Scrappingtons are at outs again.” “Yes; their latest quarrel was about madam’s pet dog and the expense of feeding it.” “Great Scott! They have bones of contention enough to feed a dozen dogs.”

Some Use for Him.

Mrs. Beck Hall—Good afternoon, Miss Radcliffe. Going for a walk? I hope I may accompany you. Miss Radcliffe —Yes. Dr. Sergeant says we must always walk with some object and I suppose you will answer the purpose. ■ .

COULDN’T USE HIM

Hewitt—Gruet has an axe to grind. Jewett —Well, he wdn’t find me any grindstone.

Primitive Joy.

An Eskimo will never pause To rail at snow or sleet, He needn’t clean the street, because There Isn’t any street.

A Triumph of Peace.

• fl Peace hath her victories.” “How now?" “Instead of wanting a cannon for the public square, one town has asked for a discarded mudscow from the Panama canal."—Louisville CourierJournal.

Ladles' Weapon All Right.

Bill—An Indian who ran amuck in California the other day attacked a A policeman with a hatpin. Jill —What did the policeman say? "That the Indian was no lady.**