Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 83, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 April 1914 — FABLES FOR THE FAIR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

FABLES FOR THE FAIR

JOSEPHINE DODGE, DASKAM

THE WOMAN WHO MADE A GOOD WIFE There was once a Woman whose Fiance was Exceedingly Particular. “Before I Establish You aa the Eternal Arbitrage of my Destiny* he said, “I should like you to Tell me Truly to what you Owe your Beautiful Complexion. I have a Deep-seated Horror of all Artificial Aida to such Beauty.” “I Know Nothing of Them,” she replied, “Nor am I quite in Fact, to What you Refer. I rely on a Careful Diet, Regular Hours, Outdoor Exercise, and Glycerine Soap, which I have found Matchless for toe Hands and Complexion.” “Say no More!” he Cried, 'Taut Name th'* Day. I have been Look* ing for you All my Life.” One Day after they had been Married for Some Time, he Found in his Wife’s Room a large Box filled with Retiring Lotion, Face Bleach, •

Indian Balm, Pearl Powder, and Honey and Almond Cfeam. “What may These Be?” he asked in Amazement and Disgust “These,” his Wife replied Blushingly, “I Sell to the Unfortunate Women Who are Addicted to the Use of such Vile Stuff, and When I have Sold a Sufficient Quantity I Get, by means of the Coupon System, either an Automobile or a Wrist Watch. Which will'Save you the Expense of Buying One for Me.” Tears rose in the Man’s Eyes. “I have Not Deserved so Much,” he said Feelingly. “Not only does my Wife Scorn all Adventitious Aids to her Toilet, but she Considers my Salary as well as my Tastes. I will Give you your Choice of the Articles you have Mentioned, and Borrow the Money to Buy it” And he was as Good as His Word. This teaches us that Handsome Isn’t unless Handsome Does.

“I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL MY LIFE."