Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 79, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 April 1914 — Page 2

GATHERED SMILES

HER IDEA.

, Patience —I see Dean George Hodges, of Harvard Theological school, says the world never was socially better than it is now. Patrice —I’ll bet anything that George tangoes.

Temporary Magazines.

The eternal fitness of things In this life oft may vary. Powder sometimes rests upon Shoulders not military.

Flattens Them Out.

William Dean Howells, at his country house in York Harbor, was admonishing a young novelist who, after ■writing a successful novel, had written only slight things. Mr. Howells couched his admonition in terms of delicate originality. "Two critics,’’ he said to the young man, "were discussing a certain author.” "‘His laurels,’ said the first critic, ‘already seem faded and bedraggled.' - "‘That,’-the other critics agreed, Ts because he has been resting on them.’ ” —Washington Post.

Dropping a Hint.

Redd—He’s the greatest man for dropping hints. Greene —That’s small business. Redd —Oh, I don’t know. He was out In bis aeroplane, yesterday, and he dropped his anchor, and as he went whizzing along the anchor hit everything it came in contact with. Greene—But what has that to do with dropping a hint? Redd —Why, don’t you see? Dropping the anchor was a hint that he wanted to come down.

It Ought To.

Bacon—ls your daughter Interested in neighborhood Improvement work? Egbert—Oh, yes. "What is she doing?” "Taking singing lessons.” "Gee! I can’t eee how that’s helping the neighbors much.” "You can’t? Doesn’t it make ’em forget their other troubles?”

Women’s Societies.

Mr. Flatt—What is this S. P. U. G. I hear so much about? Mrs. Flatt—Oh, thht’s the Society to Prevent Useless Giving. "Well, they ought to change it to 8. P. U. T.” "What would that be?” "Society for Prevention of Useless Talking.”

An Old Plan.

"What do you think of the new profit-sharing plan?” "That's not new. We’ve had it in our house for years.” "You’ve had it in your house?” “Yes, every time I win money at cards I have to give my wife half.”

STUNG!

Mrs. Gottrox —You never loved me. You just married me for money. Gottrox —Yes, and got green goods!

Soaring.

Thingn are purely going up; Life’a struggle's growing bitter. Eggs are as high as shellbarks be Slit skirts becoming slitter.

Sympathetic.

Old Veteran —The winter that we camped around Petersburg was the most severe that I ever experienced. Sympathetic Lady—Ah, your sufferings must have been intense. Old Vetera^ —Yes, madam, they surely were in tents.

Expected Soon.

Customer--Have you the new edition pf Pepys* Diary? Assistant—Oh, no, sir, next year’s diaries haven’t come down yet—-Lon-wpinion.

LANGUAGE.

Dr. Osler tells the following to illustrate the elasticity of the English language, as used by the Southern negro. One day there came to the clinic a negress with a broken jaw. The examining physician, intent on discovering the exact nature and extent of the injury, asked numerous questions. To all of them the negress returned evasive answers. Finally, she admitted that she was “hit by a object.’’ “Wae it a large object or a small object?” asked the physician. “Tolle’by large.” “Was it a hard object or a soft object?” “Tolle’by hard.” “Was it coming rapidly or slowly?" "Tolleb’y fast.” Then, her patience exhausted, the negress turned to the physician. “To tell the truth, dodonTwas jest simply kick’d in the face by a gen’leman friend.” —Everybody’s.

On Dangerous Ground.

“Take this book home and read it, ‘A Cigarette Maker’s Romance* la the title of the work.” “I wouldn’t dare take it into the house.” “But it is a very fine book, I assure you.” . “It would remind father that he has quit smoking and everything of that sort makes him very grouchy."

HIS SCHEME.

Applicant—Give me a position as proofreader—we’ll get along all right. Magazine Editor What do you mean? Applicant Well, whenever you make any mistakes in the magazine, just blame it on me, and I’ll never say a word.

Better Than Crusading.

In the days of old the knights were bold. And minstrels went round thrumming; Life was romantic then, I’m told. But me for modern plumbing.

Hard Work.

Church —Was that her pay envelope you just handed to your stenographer? Gotham —Yes. "How much was in it?" “Ten dollars.” _ - "You ought to raise her wages.” “I just did. The |lO was all I could raise.”

No Music for Him.

William (who has been persuaded to contribute to our annual concert) — Can ’ee tinkle “Varmer’s Boy,” miss? Squire's Daughter Have you brought your music? William—Music! I don’t sing by music, I eings by hearsay.—London Opin* ion.

That Changed Him.

. Mistress (finding visitor in the kltchen) —Who is this, Mary? > Mary (confused) —My brother, m’m. Mistress (suspiciously)—You’re not much alike. Mary (stammering apologetically)— We were, m’m, but he’s just had his beard shaved off, and that makes him look different. —London Opinion.

Reno-vated.

Mrs. Ardly—Mrs. Graswld looks ever so much younger since she secured her divorce. Ardly—Yes; it’s a remarkable case of Reno-vation. —Judge.

A Bald Fact.

Old Beau —When I was a tiny boy with long, golden curls, they called me Archie! Mrs. Golightly—And now they call you Archibald Judge.

A Generous Soul.

"Here, my good man, is a cent. Don’t be discouraged.’* "Oh, not at all, madam! Such a magnificent gift comforts one Immediately."—Le Rlre (Paris).

Safe Bet

Waverly—l’ll bet a cookie the bride wasn’t pretty. Marcella—Why do you think that? Waverly—Because newspaper accounts of the wedding put so much stress on her fine character and sweet disposition.—Judge.

Almost Human.

Mr. Casey—Phwat’s the matter? Daughter—Th* puppy pulled me new bonnet all to pieces. Mr. Casey—Th’ dlvll! He must think he’s a customs inspector.—Puck

- THE EVENING REPUBLICAN. RENSSELAER, IND.

Clever Management of New Hip Drapery

CREATORS of styles are arbiters of fashion only to limited degrees in these latter days. For women have become too wise to accept styles that are devoid of beauty in lines, and the demand for beauty in colorings is positive. Those enterprising and clever creators of new ideas whose early spring song extolled’ bouffant dra/peries have already learned that the bouffant draperies have fallen down, both figuratively and literally. The Idea remains, or, reflections of It, but the draperies are not bunchy and cumbersome at all. Here is a gown in which Mme. Paquin has demonstrated her' consummate skill by solving the problem of the new hip drapery in a satisfactory manner. The fabric used Is taffeta silk in a light leather brown. The skirt is prettily draped, falling about the figure easily, but with no unneeded fulness. It hangs from the normal waist line and the lines in It are beautiful because they are those into which the silk falls of itself. The overdrapery also falls freely from the waist line, but It is full, and corded at the edge so that it stands away from the figure. There is a wide folded girdle of the silk and a bodice of net with ends extending through and below the girdle. American wearers will demand one change in this design. There will have to be more bodice. Also, for the figure of average plumpness, the standing ruffles on- the shoulder will have

THE strong machine-made nets in plain and in fancy meshes have struck a new note in summer finery and in undermuslins. The latter have been growing lighter and filmier for several seasons. Now we have nainsook petticoat? with plain net flounces, or petticoats made entirely of net. Nightgowns with kimono yokes of fancy net like that shown In the picture, make the work of the seamstress easy and give the same lacy effect that we have accomplished heretofore with insertions of lace and fine embroidery sewed together. It Is, in fact, an easy matter to make a nightdress of this description. The yoke Is a length of lace folded over and having the neck opening and sleeves cut exactly in the fashion that children cut out clothes for dolls. The neck opening is finished with a band of beading edged with a narrow Insertion of Vai. or cluny lace or hand crochet. The sleeves are finished in the same way, or the beading is omitted and lace insertion substituted aa in the nightdress pictured here. The yoke is set on to the body of the gown with a wider beading than that used for the neck, and finally ribbon suited In width to the beading is threaded through. Ends long enough to tie in full bows are allowed, and the neck and waist adjusted by draw-

Designed for Summer Wear

to be omitted. We shall see this beautiful design with the bodice adapted to American taste, and American taste does not run to such grapery above the waist line or too much below it. With all due respect to the wonderful Paquin, the gown will not be any less beautiful when some one of our own producers has Americanized the bodice. Among other available fabrics besides taffeta, chailies and soft cotton crepes merit attention. They are inexpensive and elegant and, the colorings are refined and beautiful. Either of them will develop a gown, patterned after the model shown here, that will be equally attractive. The design is simple, but the skirt can hardly be managed without a pattern. There need be no difficulty about this, because nearly all the standard pattern concerns have.models similar to it. The overskirt is a plaited flounce sloping up to the waist line at the front. The girdle is made of two wide bias strips, and fastens with a flat* bow at the back. A plain net waist or a lace waist might be worn, with shirred shoulder straps made of the same material as the skirt, or the model, just as it is .pictured, could be worn with a lace or net guimpe. The introduction In the bodice of a touch of the' material of the waist is preferable because it apparently lengthens the figure, which is almost another way of' saying that it makes one look more graceful.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

ing up the ribbons and finishing with a pretty bow or rosette. A good design for a handmade gown is shown in the second figure. There is a demiyoke of embroidery at the front, which may be band embroidered by those who have leisure and taste for this work. The fine machine embroideries do very well also. The demlyoke is set In the front of the gown and edged with handcrocheted lace. At the bottom and top of the embroidery, insertion to match the lace is whipped on before the body of the gown is attached. This is one of the rare nightdresses not supplied with ribbon run through beading. Its absence is explained by the fitted yoke at the front and the fullness at the edge of the neck in the back. But small flower-like rosettes of ribbon are tucked at the top of the yoke and provide a pretty finishing touch. Lingerie ribbons are made up into bows and rosettes ready to pin on with the smallest bf safety pins. One set of bows made in this way may be transferred from one gown to another or from one garment to another. The most elegant of undermuslins are not too much trimmed, But the use of ribbon decorations is more extensive than ever in the history of these garments.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

STORIES from the BIG CITIES

Flying Hat Chased by Maiden and Many Men NEW YORK. —There was a short but exciting chase in Times Square late the other afternoon when the homegoing matinee crowd filled the street. The victim of the prank of the wind was a tall, slender young woman who wore a.

the owner of the hat They met in a space between two snow piles in the street and the young woman was almost knocked down. Four more men and an elderly woman took up the rescue work while the youth was apologizing to the maiden. All this time the hat refused to come down. It would go soaring 50 feet up and then drop down, only to be caught again and sent upward. The owner of the hat grew very excited, and started on the chase after the collision, waving her great muff above "her head. More men, all young ones, became interested in the pursuit of the runaway hat. Its course lay in a northerly direction, and the pursuers plodded gallantly through the snow in the street. Half a hundred persons gathered along the curb, and ■several newsboys joined the chase. The hat, after performing spirals and other things In the air, finally came to the ground In a snowbank. Half the pursuers tried to capture it at the same time, but it was a newsboy who got possession of it. His reward was a smile.

Sacrifices Beloved Guitar and Saves His Life

ST- LOUIS, MO. —“Music hath charms tp soothe the savage breast,” perhaps, but it didn’t help much to slacken the speed of a freight train which bore down upon Herman Oexner of Belleville as he walked across a long trestle on

the Louisville & Nashville railroad early the ether day. - Oexner had been attending a dance and was on his way home between midnight and dawn/ His only companion was a much-beloved guitar. To lessen the loneliness of the walk he played, and as he played he sang, losing consciousness of all about him, and no doubt having dreams the while of some fair Juliet, upon a balcony listening to his strains. So engrossed was he in his music

that he was well onto the trestle before he heard a noise in the rear, and, gating back, saw the train. His muse was either not shifty enough or too fickle to offer advice in so urgent a case. She had temporarily departed, and for the moment the instinct of self-preservation was uppermost The beloved instrument was sacrificed, Oexner permitting it to drop over the edge of the trestle as he scrambled to safety on the end of a tie just as the train breezed past. The danger over, he set about to discover the remains of his tried friend. He found it, 50 feet beneath, shattered against a rail of the Southern rail* road tracks. It had picked a hard spot on which to settle, and had poured out its last music in one dismal crash.

As Hard to Negotiate as a “Slide for Life”

INDIANAPOLIS, IND.—The crossing at Pennsylvania and Washington streets was a slide for life as interesting to negotiate as the greased pole at a county fair. But this brother was of different ilk. He wore a pair of spats on

stopped walking about like chickens they would not fall in the street in this foolish way. To be sure it is extremely slippery, but falling is only a demonstration that they have not proper control of their equilibrium. Nothing but a matter of care, I say, nothing mo ’’ Sllsch-ch, plopp—splatter, and the .immaculate was down in the center of the North Pennsylvania street car track and about two inches of melting snow. Pride had gone before the fall and the slippery car rail had lacked the politeness of the friend in not opposing his opinion. But the friend was human. "As you were saying,’* he remarked, as he helped his friend to his feet, trying to overlook the fall —but the Immaculate one only glared.

Dogs Are Always Dogs Even When One Is Bogus

CHICAGO— Through the window of Karl Kahmann’s shop at 2457 Lincoln avenue, a handsome, big-muscled bulldog gazed out the other night on passing traffic, calm and supercilious. He held his head at a haughty angle

and the most exciting happenings on sidewalk and pavement did not stir him to the visible extent of‘a fraction of a wag of his traction of a tail. Presently came another bulldog of more active nature, willing to be friend and play or to be an enemy and fight. This second bulldog stopped in front of the window and wagged his tall tentatively. There was no answering wag. He growled. There came no answering growl. Not even by a glance or a showing

of teeth did the .insolent, self-centered window dog recognise the existence of his canine brother in the street. It was a dead cut Plate glass three-eighths of an inch thick stood between them, but the street dog forgot that in hie wrath. He leaped at the throat of the. offender. The glass crashed. Cut now, physically as well as socially, the street dog closed in. The window dog tumbled over on bls side with a hollow thud. The street dog, tearing at his throat, choked on a mournful of sawdust He had not been supercilious after allonly stuffed. The belligerent street dog, after a casual survey of the damage which he had wrought, and smarting with pain from the cuts made by the shattered plate glass window, tucked his tail between his legs and made a dash for the street and safety. The proprietor of the establishment, on hearing the great noise made by the fierce attack, rushed to the front of the store Just in time to see the surprised and frightened street dog rapidly disappear around s neighboring street corner. He therefore made no attempt at pursuit. Kahmann, who is a taxidermist, is in need not only of a new show Window but of a new window dog. He says he will make one out of the street dog U he catches him. ‘

slit skirt and carried a huge muff. Her hat was one of the latest effects in straw. It resembled an inverted soup plate, and was trimmed with a. black lace ruffle and a single feather. She was crossing the street going toward the subway entrance when a.' particularly - spiteful gust of wind' caught the hat, lifted it from her head, and sent it straight up into the air. A young man started to the rescue. He followed the erratic course of the hat with his face turned skyward. So did

big tan shoes, surmounted by a foot of gray striped trouser legs before the tailored edge of his fur collared overcoat shut off the view of .the stripes. A roll brimmed, quarter bow derby kept in the aroma of bay rum that held the sandy hair in plastered perfection, and curves as proper as the curved handle of his hickory-rough walking stick. His companion was human. "Entirely unnecessary, entirely so. If persons watched their footing and