Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 73, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 March 1914 — the ONLOOKER [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

the ONLOOKER

by HENRY HOWLAND

ALWAYS READY CHEATED

If you wish to get rich in a hurry Invent some ridiculous scheme For hoodwinking people don’t worry. No matter how poor it may seem; Promise something for nothing; the plainer It is that your plan Is a fake The surer that you’ll be the gainer. The surer the thing is to take. It would be moot deliciously funny. If it weren't so tragic, alack! To watch people handing in money

Where there’s no chance of getting it back; It Is useless to warn or advise them. For the wise man by whom they ara checked Is hated as one who denies them The triumphs they vainly expect.

They’ll regard you with cunning suspicion If your plan is a feasible one; If you offer a fair proposition They will cling to their purses-and rum But if you’d get rich in a hurry Propose some ridiculous scheme; The crowd will be eager—don’t worry— No matter how “punk” it may seem.