Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 73, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 March 1914 — BEATING THEM TO IT [ARTICLE]

BEATING THEM TO IT

By J. P. ORTH.

With an open letter in his hand, just received by rural delivery, Captain Sholto, retired, walked straight up to Judge Disbrow, late off the bench, and said: F*

"Judge, you are a swindler, sir.” “And you are a rascal, isir!” was the prompt reply. “You are a liar, sir!” “And you are a coward, sir!” “I challenge you to meet me on the field, sir!” “And I cheerfully accept, sir!”

Both men were over sixty years old; both were of good character and their country grounds adjoined. The duel would have been fought had they been able to find seconds. They realized what the law would do to all participants. Two old men who have been neighbors for fifteen years don’t call names all of a sudden. While they had been neighbors and had daily association, there was a suppressed ill-feeling. Captain Sholto was the last comer. When he had his land surveyed it was found that the judge had eight inches of his real estate. The judge said that the surveyor was a dunder-head, and that he would have a new survey, but he had never brought it about.

Later on the captain had built a barn which the judge claimed rested upon his land by several Inches. The captain was to call in a surveyor, but had procrastinated. . The captain had chickens. The judge had a dog. The judge had a colored cook. - - The captain had an Irish gardener. The captain had a daughter, and the judge had a son, and until they were old enough to be sent away to school they were always quarreling and making up. But the outbreak had come at last, and that from a peaceful sky. The two old men had been sitting and smoking their pipes together when the captain remarked: “By the way, judge, some one was telling mo that you owned Plum Island, over on the sound.” “How large is it?” “Thirty acres.” “Good fishing there?” “The very best, and shooting, too.” “Must be a good place to pass a month with a little party?”

"I’ve tried it and know.” “What’s your price?” “Not a cent less than $2,000.” “Well, have the deed made out tomorrow and I’ll hand you a check.” Four days after Captain Sholto had become the owner of Plum island that letter came. It was from a fisherman who knew him, and who wrote: “Tell Judge Disbrow that the late great storm washed away half of Plum island.”

The captain gasped for breath. He had just bought Plum island and paid a good price for it! Did the judge know what the storm had done when he made the eale?”

“He did, the old idiot—he did!” was exclaimed. “He had heard the news and wanted to stick me! Half my island gone! A clear thousand dollar swindle! The miserable swindler shall pass the rest of his days behind the bars!” And the Son of Mars rushed to the combat.

At eighteen years of age Miss Gladys Sholto was a student at Fairport seminary. At twenty years of age Royal Disbrow was a student at Fairport college. There had been something of an antagonistic feeling between them as each was bound to support the contention of the parent, but this had never flamed up. The day after the row over Plum island the captain wrote to his daughter:

“I have at last discovered what an unhung scoundrel Judge Disbrow is, and I forbid you to notice his son in any manner. Cut him cold and dead if he dares to bow to you!” And the judge wrote to his son: “Captain Sholto has finally revealed himself in his true colors. Avoid his daughter at all costs. Will write particulars later.”

The schools were a mile apart, and the students met only on the streets of the village. The two in question had not met for a month when their respective letters cam®“How silly!” was the comment of each after reading the missive; and they straightway started out to hunt each other up. By luck they met at the post office. “I shall pay no attention to what father says,” observed Miss Gladys as they talked the matter over.

“And I shall not let it affect me in the least," replied the young man. “They have no right to demand that we break our friendship because they have a quarrel.” “Certainly not.”

Until that moment neither had thought to apply the term friendship to their relations. Their attitudes had been respectful but indifferent. Now all at once there came a bond between them. They looked at each other with different eyes; they thought of each other in a different way. When they went home on their summer vacation they refused to take up the quarrel, but they began to do things. Miss Gladys wrote a letter the answer to which she smilingly showed her father:

“Some months ago,” it read, "a good half of Plum island was washed away in a big storm. Two weeks ago we had another terrific gale,' and to, It not only restored the island, but added five acres to It! Tell your father I t an find him a customer at |3,000.”

The judge had to go up to the city for a couple of days, and his son secured the services of a competent surveyor.

The. judge hadn’t eight inches of the Sholto land. He hadn’t within half an inch of what his deed called for. The captain’s barn did not rest upon the judge’s land, but was within his own line by an inch. “Father has got to build a runway and keep the chickens shut up,” said Gladys. "And our dog has got so old-that weexpect to find him dead any morning," added young Disbrow. “Gur cook has got to amend her conduct or she must go.” “Ditto our gardener.” To bring about a reconciliation looked as easy as pie, but it proved anything but that "He called me a swindler!” exclaimed the judge. "He called me a rascal!” exclaimed the captain.

“He called me a liar!” “He called me a coward! ” Both old men saw that they were in the wrong, and both felt ashamed of it but what was to be done? Some one must make the first advance. “Never in this world!” exclaimed the captain. "I’d be devoured by wolves first!” Things might have hung on this way for goodness knows how long had not fate taken a hand. One afternoon Miss Gladys and Royal stole away to the grove. The girl wanted the wings of a red bird to trim a hat, and he brought along a gun loaded with birdshot. At about the same hour the captain awoke from his nap and decided to saunter over into an old pasture in search of blackberries. Ten minutes later the judge awoke from his nap and decided to do the same thing. There were blackberries there. There was also something else there that in no wise resembled a blackberry. It had horns and four legs. It had a bellow. Jt had a desire to take human life.

The captain and the judge had not seen each other yet when the bull saw them. There was just one tree to save their Ilves, and both sought it They were not Alpine climbers, those old, old men, but the way they made the bark fly as they went up that tree almost stopped the bull in his tracks.

And for the next half hour the bull raged beneath and the two men cussed above. Each cussed to himself and each cussed heartily. And then the young folks were seen returning from their red bird excursion. They had beefi to the grove and a mile beyond. They had visited for a few minutes with a nice man and wife, and both the nice man and his wife had kissed Mies Gladys and shaken hands with Royal as they came away. There was bellowing and shouting. There was pawing and beckoning. “Why, it’s our fathers up a tree!” was exclaimed in chorus. “And a bull has driven them there!” The situation was realized at once, and Royal crept to a position where the birdshot would do its duty and fired arid the bull went off on the gallop. The old men had barely reached the ground when they clasped hands and apologized; and a minute later one was saying to Royal: “You can take her, young man, with my full consent!” And the other to the girl: z “I shall be proud of you as my daughter-in-law! ”

“But you see,” said the young man as he took Gladys’ hand, “we didn’t know how long the quarrel would last, and so while hunting for red birds we hunted for a justice of the peace, and—found one!” (Copyright, 1914, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.)