Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 67, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 March 1914 — Page 3

ON THE FUNNY SIDE

ONE SMILE THAT CAME OFF Information That Man Was Sitting on His Hat Withheld for Fear of Spoiling Expression. "Look pleasant,”'said the .photographer. The sitter raised his eyes and gave a sickening smirk. "Your head Just a little more to the left, pTease,” . suggested the voice from the black shroud. "No, don’t move the eyes.” Likg\ a man suffering from a stiff neck or an Eiffel tower collar, the sitter tilted his head gingerly till it reached the desired and he resembied a dying flsh trying not to mind. "That’s very nice; very nice, indeed,” said the photographer. “Stay Just there'while I make the exposure.” He removed the cap as he spoke and counted out a minute and three-quar-ters. "Thank you," he observed. “You cag get up. I’m afraid you have been Bitting on your hat.” "My hat," roared the sitter angrily, regarding the flattened felt. "Why the dickens didn’t you tell me I was sitting on my hat?” “My dear elr,” protested the tographer, blandly, “that would have spoiled your expression.”—Pittsburgh Chronicle.,,

Giving Mamma Away.

A beautiful young -widow sat in her deck chair in the Btern and near her sat a very handsome man. The widow’s daughter, a -cute . little girl of four or five years, crossed over to the man and said: “What’s your name?” "Herkimer Wilkinson,” was the reply. x . “Is you married?” "No; I’m a bachelor.” The child turned to the mother and said: "What else did you tell me to ask him, mampaa?”

He Lacked the Nerve.

A town character, who had been in trouble with the police many times, was arrested recently on a minor criminal charge. The arresting officer was amazed when the fellow appeared in police court with a lawyer prepared to make a defense. Finally his case was called and the judge asked: t “Prisoner, are you guilty or not guilty?" “Let my lawyer plead not guilty for me, judge,” was the reply. “I ain’t got the nerve.”—Kansas City Star.

Praise of Eloquence.

An Alabama negro was defended in court by Senator Morgan. Having cleared the negro of the charge the senator said to him, “Raßtus, did you really steal the mule?” “Well, Marse Morgan, “it was just like' this,” said Rastus. “I really monger xnai i cup Btcai uat nruie, out after what you said to the jury I know I didn’t.”—The Presbyterian of the South.

WHY IT FAILED

First Actor —And you went out on the road in a genuine sea drama? Was the trip successful? Second Actor —No; there were too many light houses.

Returning a Favor.

“It’s going to be war to the knife,” declared the suburban man, who was .feeding the chickens, j “What now?" asked the friend. “Why, Blinks sent me a box of axle grease and advised me to use it on my lawn mower,” "Well?” “Well, I sent it back and told him to lose It on his daughter’s voice.”

Realism.

“What has become of the emotional .actress who wept real tears?” “Out of date," replied the busy producer. “What we are giving the pnb!lic now is a leading man who swears jreal swear words."

GIRAFFE SURELY COULD BITE

“Fiercest Lion in Captivity” Captured by Darky With Piece of Rope-—Was Right Smart Rambunctious. "Did you’al) lose a gj-raffe?” he inquired. "Yep,” Returned the owner; "I sure did. Have you found him?” i: ; , “Yas, sah; I done found him.” "Got him with yon?”---"No, sah; I reckoned I better inquire first, sah, before Lfotched him over.’’ “All right; you fetch him here and I’ll give you a dollar for your trouble.” i “Yas, sah; but I reckon de trouble am wuss mo’ dan a dollar. Dat ole giraffe am right smart rambunctious. He done tried to bite me.” “-What are you talking about, nigger? 1 < Giraffes don’t bite! They kick. But you bring him along and I’ll give you $2.” “All right, boss; I reckon you am mo’ familiar wid dat gi-raffe dan I be; but he sure made signs like he would bite me.” The darky departed, and about a half hour later thegp was a sudden commotion on- the front porch of the store, the door was thrust open and In came the darky, puffing and wild-eyed and pulling on a rope. At the other end of the rope, Squirming and snarling, was an enormous Nubian lion—“the fiercest lion in captivity,” according to show bills. “Dar, Mlstah White Man,” exclaimed the captor, throwing down the rope and pointing to the lion—“dar’s your ole gi-raffe; and I tell you he do bite!” —Lippincott’s. *

A WISE BOY

His Father —I thought I gave you a nickel to stay in the parlor last night with Sis and her beau. You were only in there half an hour. Willie —Siß’ beau gave me a dime to get out. ,

No Financier.

“Pat,” shouted an officer to his Irishservant, “here’s a shilling to get me some cheese, and a shilling forborne biscuits.” Pat started on his errand, and, after a long delay, returned, fumbling with the coins in his hand apparently in great distress. “Well, Pat, what’s wrong?’’ said the officer. “Shure, sir, Oi’ve got the shillings mixed, and don’t know which is for cheese and which is for biscuits?’ Tit-Bits.

Sufficient Unto the Day.

“I tell you, sir, each new day confronts us with a problem that has to be solved. Take’ your case, for instance—you have two daughters just grcfwing into womanhood. I call this a problem that you must face at once, don’t you?" _ “I understand you thoroughly. Right now the problem with my wife and me is -to 'keep Maud and Ella from buying matinee tickets to the problem playß.”—St. Louis Republic.

Getting at the Facts.

“The train struck the man, did It not?” asked the lawyer of the engineer at the trial. “It did, sir,” said the engineer. “Was the man on the track, sir?” thundered the lawyer. “On the track?” asked the engineer. “Of course he was. No engineer worthy of his job would run his train into the woods after a man, sir.”—Ladies’ Home Journal.

In the Anteroom.

Creditor —May I go in and see the baron? Butler—Oh, yes; certainly! Creditor—Say, my friend, how is it that you admit me so easily today, when at other times you usually send me away with one excuse or another? - Bntler-*f-Well. todftY the bftfqb bco!d* ed me. lam angry at him. —Borsszem Janko (Budapest),

Thought It Was a Waterbury.

An officer of a liner which sails from New York vouches for the following story: “On a recent trip I was on deck talking with a passenger when eight bells sounded. ‘There goes eight bells.’ I said, excusing myself. T must take my watch below.’ “‘Gracious!’ she exclaimed. ‘Fancy having a watch that strikes so loud.’" —New York Tribune.

Paid Back.

“Has Owens ever paid back that $lO you loaned him a year ago?”. "Oh, yes; he borrowed twenty-five more from me last week and only took fifteen.”

Not Particular.

Guard on Elevated Train—What station do yon want, friend? Returning Reveler—What' sta'shnnf ye got?—Judge,

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

PLAN THE GARDEN NOW FOR THE BEST RESULTS

By M. W. Richards, Department of Horticulture, Purdue University Experiment Station. Purdue University Agricultural Extension.

Labor-Saving Devices Make Garden Work a Pleasure. Use Horse Labor Wherever Possible and the Wheel-H oe for the Small Crops.

livery successful man plans his work. No farmer would think of Starting the season without a clean cut idea of the crop which is to occupy each particular field. As a general rule the farm work is so planned that different crops occupy different fields in a definite rotation. This Is good farming. What about the garden? Is the garden ever planned in advance? Is a definite system of rotation planned for the garden? Not as a usual thing. A midsummer drive through the most prosperous and best farmed sections of the middle west will show beautiful weed patches where the home gardens once were and still should be. A garden should be a continuous affair, not a thing of the spring months. It should furnish green and succulent food. the entire 12 months of the year. The garden 1b the farmer’s drug store and Its stock of medicines should never run out. A continuous supply of vegetables cap only, be secured from a definitely planned garden. Make the plan during the winter months when work Is slack. Draw it to scale on a piece of paper. Figure the size needed for your particular family and govern your selection of crops by the tastes and likings of that family.

SMUT OF OATS AND ITS PREVENTION

By C. A. Ludwig,

ment, Purdue University Experiment Station. Purdue University Agricultural Extension.

In some localities there is a saying among farmers that when there are a good many of the black “blasted” heads in a field of oats, it is a sign of a good crop. ‘As a matter of fact, it is a sign that each head so affected is destroyed, and the crop decreased by just so much. The cause of the destruction of these heads is the loose sjr.’-Jt fungus of oats. This fungus, as shown by the reports of the plant disease correspondents of the Botanical Department (for the last six or seven years), has a very general distribution over the state, and causes damage in the different counties of an estimated severity varying from practically nothing to 10 or 12 per cent. Where this more severe injury oc-

curs, it is enough in most cases to take away all the profit from the crop. The disease is easily prevented, however, so that any injury greater than an altogether negligible amount (much less than one per cent) is hardly excusable on a well managed farm. This statement is rendered the more emphatically true by the fact that the treatment to be discussed destroys seed-borne spores of other harmful fungi and seems to stimulate the young' seedling, so that it would be a paying proposition in most cases even though there were no smut present. Life History. The point of weakness in the fungus is its method of infecting the

Botanical Depart-

Plan a succession of crops so that weeds will not gain possession just as soon as the early vegetables are harvested. Make the rows long and wide enough apart to permit of horso cultivation. Do not plant too much. Plan on the needs of your family and plant enough—no more. A garden 50x100 feet should furnish vegetables the entire year around for a family of six people. Occupy every available inch of space with vegetables by companion and succession cropping and the weeds have no chance to survive. Make the garden work easy by purchasing a few labor-saving tools such as the garderi drill, wheel-hoe, small hoes and hand weeders. Secure a seed catalogue now. Make your selection of seeds and send your order in early. Locate the space to be occupied by each crop on your plan. Place the perennial crops near the fence where they will not interfere with the plowing. Group the small crops together where the tows can be narrow. Figure on the companion and succession crops—secure early and late varieties, give the garden an hour a day labor and you will secure a thousand per cent, return on your investment in health and satisfaction.

plant. The black masses, which at harvest time take the place of the ripened grains of oats, are made up of the spores. In the operations of cutting, hauling, threshing, etc., these spores are shaken- off and scattered in great numbers in the straw, chaff and grain. Many of them lodge on the threshed grains. When these grains are planted, the spores germinate along with the oats. The fungus grows into the young seedling, and grows upward with it, entering all the tillers, or stooling shoots. When blossoming and fruiting time comes, the parasite enters the heads and destroys them, so that instead of plump heavy grains, only a number of black masses of dusty spores results. The cut shows in good shape the appearance of such heads, and also the appearance of a normally developed one. The Remedy. The remedy for this disease, which was worked out at this station about 15 years ago, is simple and effective. It takes advantage of the one exposed place in the life history of the parasite which, as has already been mentioned, is the spore stage. The spores which do the infecting 'are those lodged on the outside of the grains at planting time. The method adopted is to kill the spores before the seed is sowed. The procedure is as follows: Sprinkle the seed with a solution of one pint of (40 per cent) formaldehyde solution to 60 gallons of water until thoroughly moist, shoveling over repeatedly to distribute the moisture evenly. Shovel into a pile and cover with sacks or canvas for at least two hours. It will be all right to leave it longer, even over night, but it should not be left long enough to start germination. After this treatment, spread the grain out to dry. Drying may be hastened by spreading in a thin layer and stirring occasionally with a rake. When dry enough, the seed may either be sown immediately or be stored until later. Care should be taken not to allow the treated seed to come in contact with sacks, bins or drills which are carrying the spores, or it will be freshly infected. The formaldehyde is not dangerous to use, as it is only a mild poison even when concentrated. In the dilute form inWhich it is used, it is practically harmless. The ofily disagreeable feature about it is that the strong solution and the vapor from it are irritating to the nose and eyes in much the same way and to about the same extent as with strong ammonia. With this simple procedure it 'is easy to treat seed oats for smut; and if the work be carefully done, it insures a crop free of the disease.

Good Fertilizers.

Wood ashes that come from the cook stove, fireplace or furnace are the best kind of fertilizer for the orchard, lawn or garden.

-Free Range for Turkeys.

Turkeyß should always be allowed free range because they are unprofitable when placed In confinement „

FABLES FOR THE FAIR

THE WOMAN WHO ADAPTED HERSELF There was once a Woman who was Asked to Sing at a Summer Entertainment for the Benefit of a Country Library which None of the Natives Wanted. Having heard that her Bival in the Vocal Arena was also going to Sing she Laid a plan tft Annihilate her. —— “The Foolish Thing will be Sure to Sing Something entirely Over their Heads,” she reasoned, “and Make them feel Awkward by displaying her most Gorgeous Toilette —which will be Very Unkind of her, to be sure. I will Teacb her a Thing or Two.” On the Night of the Concert the Country People had Assembled from Far and Near to See the Swell Ladies and Gentlemen. The Woman who was Asked to Sing appeared in a Simple White Muslin with a Wild Bose in her Hair. An Old Man from the Village

SHE HAD AN AIGRETTE IN HER HAIR AND CARRIED A BOUQUET OF ORCHIDS.

iccompanied her on his Violin, as she sang “Annie Laurie.” For an Encore she sang “Home, Sweet Home,” so Touchingly that the Old Man Wept and Played very Flat. He Lived in the Poor House. But the other Country People were both Surprised and Disgusted. “Goodness Alive!” said they, “is that All ? Our Jenny Knows that Piece. And Malvina’s Graduation Dress had More Buffles than That.” Nor were the City People better Pleased. “She certainly Has a Great deal of Nerve,” said they. “One would Think she was Tetrazzini, or Mary Garden at the Least,” and they Befused to Applaud. The Bival wore a Silver Brocade with Turquoise Chiffon. She ha<L | an Aigrette in her Hair and carried a Bouquet of Orchids. Her first Song was Elsa’s Dream from “Lohengrin,” in German, and was Wildly Applauded, everyone Wishing to Show that he Understood it Perfectly. As an Encore she sang a French Selection. Being Urged to sing a Third time, she gave a Spanish Toreador Song, which was Deeply Appreciated. The Local Paper<4he Next Day Described her Costume as. Extremely ‘ Tasteful and Bemarked that it was a Beal Pleasure to hear Old Favorite* \ Bendered with Such Spirit. This teaches us: When in Borne we should Do as the Bomans Don’t-

THE WOMAN WHO MARRIED OFF HER DAUGHTER

There was once a Woman who was Very Anxious to Have her Daughter well Married. For this Purpose she Selected an Eligible Young Man who had but One Fault. This Fault was great Timidity.

FULLY APPRECIATED THE SOCIETY OF MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.

“If he had Not been so Timid he would have Been Acquired by somebody Long Since,” said the Woman’s Friends, “and it is Not Likely that your Daughter, who has a very Haughty Appearance, would Succeed where So Many of Us have Failed; for We also Have Daughters.” But the Thoughtful Mother refused to Listen to these Sneers. “I have Made a Study of These Matters,” she said, “and I have Observed that your Efforts are Put Forth at the Wrong Time. You Entertain young Men at Summer Places, where Competition is far Too Keen, and in the Winter Season, when Men are far Too Busy. I have a Better Plan.” > In Accordance with this Plan, she did Not go Away for the Summer, but Stayed in Town. Toward the end of August she Invited the Eligible Young Man to Dinner. He Accepted eagerly, for he had been Living in Restaurants, and Depending largely upon Vaudeville for his Entertainment. He therefore Fully Appreciated the Society of the Thoughtful Mother and her Daughter. In Fact, at the End of the Evening he Proposed for the Hand of the Latter, which was His immediately. “How many Summers I have Spent Toiling in the City with No such Home as This!” he exclaimed thankfully. So they were All Pleased. This teaches us that Good Wine sometimes Needs a Bush. a ■

Uplifting Drama.

It ought not to be very difficult to elevate the stage. It has wings and files.—Christian Register.

Subtle Appreciation.

Knicker—“ls Jones a poet's poet?" Bocker—“No; be Is a poet’s poet’s pest"

BY JOSEPHINE DODGE DASKAM

Always Uneasy.

No matter bow prosperous some people may be, in their minds they art headed towards the poorhouse.— Haw Chester Union.

Daily Thought

* • There never was a good war or bad peace.— Franklin.