Evening Republican, Volume 18, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 January 1914 — Page 3

LOOKING DOWNWARD

THE ANCIENT XHBEABE OF POLITICAL CAMPAIGN ITIB. "They’re having a great time down 1n Abyssynia,” said the photo-tele-graph operator on the New Tork receiving float of the F. C. & A. Aerial line, as he came out of his darkcabinet and rubbed his eyes, red with staring at the moving films of the world’s events that had been flashing before him. “A fellow would think this was the year 1912 instead of 1962.” “What are they doing down there?" asked Captain MacManus, Master Alrigator, retired. “Oh, they’ve gone mad —the whole nation,” said the operator .wearily. "To look at the films you’d think they were having a war, or a plague, or a wholesale riot all over the country. They’ve just held what they

call a convention. For three days ■they’ve been marehing around witlr brass bands and banners and shouting and talking, and doing everything but declaring actual war on one another. Today about twenty thousand of them got into a big hali and shouted their heads off to decide on who they were going to shout their heads off tor the next four months to comeT or until election time, as they call it. You’d think the way they went about It that an invading fleet wps hanging over their heads threatening to spill the Hertzian rays on them before sundown. And all in order to decide on what name is to go on their campaign banners. “It’s a fright," continued the operator, removing from his ears the wireless sound-conductors that had Caught

“What are you laughing at?” demanded the operator. "I tell you It’s no laughing matter to sit still and watch a whole nation get crazy this way.”

the speech and noise of far-away Abyssynia as they came over the wireless telephone. “People aren’t paying any attention to business or the other things that concern them. They’re fairly consumed by this inexplicable excitement. Abyssynia has gone mad.” Captain MacManus leaned back and chuckled heartily. * “What are you laughing at?” demanded the operator. “1 tell you it’s no laughing matter to sit still and watch a whole nation go crazy this way.” , “I laugh, my lad, because you take me back to the days of my youth," chuckled the captain. “You make me remember the days when moßt people lived on the ground. You take me back to the days when railroads and steamships were trying to carry people and goods around on the Earth. That’s why I laugh. But don’t worry. The uncivilised nation of Abyssynia has not gone crazy—not permanently, at least. It’s just suffering from an old disease, a disease that now afflicts only the few nations that are still barbaric enough to the old, discarded customs. The name of the disease is—let me see; I believe I've forgotten. Ah! I have it: 'Politics.’ That’s what’s the matter with Abyssynia, it’s suffering from an attack of polltlcal-campalgnitis.” ♦ What's that?” asked the operator. “A joke.” said Captain MacManus. “Is it dangerous.” . “Only to the bystander. He’* likely to get kicked i* the fracas, as this ancients used to say.” “What is the cause of it?” “Imagination.’* “Imagination?”

f ten

BY LEE MACQUODDY

"Yes,” said the captain, "imagination. You see, political-campaignitis isn’t a real disease, il really isn’t anything. It never was, not even back in the old days of 1912 when it used to be so prevalent—before the people got onto the joke of it Polib-lcal-campaignitis really is nothing more than a state of mind, a hallucination. The victim imagines that he must get excited over a name printed on banners, must quarrel with his best friend about the merits of tbe men whose names are on the bankers, and otherwise behave like 8 madman. It is inspired by the agitators .who used to be known as politicians. Of course'there isn’t any of it left now in the civilized countries, but what you’ve been seeing and hearing from down in Abyssynla, where they still refuse to turn their government over to an efficient General Managerris~a~*pretty good imitation of what that same used to do to this United States of America, in the days of my youth, around tbe year 1912.”

The operator laughed easily. “Do you mesa to Tell -me that- this enlightened country ever went into convulsions like .that?” “I mean to tell you that, and It’s the truth,” retorted the captain. “You must remember, my lad, that back in 1912 this country was still in the ground and water age. It was not until many years after, when Camerot’s self-sustaining and self-balancing float helped people to learn that it was easier and cheaper to live in the air than on land or water, that the country really became enlightened. Then, when living became easier, and

over-crowded cities' became a thing of the past, people began to take themselves less seriously. They laughed the politicians out of business, and a sorry day it was for the latter, too, because they couldn’t do anything useful in the world, and most of them had to take up posing for the moving pictures to earn a bare living. They were good at that—posing. They’d been at it all their lives. „ “But before these things came to pass this country was the worst example of what the imaginary disease of polltical-campalgnitis could do to a country that ever was known in the history of the World. Every four years the plague came down. You have seen how they’re behaving in Abyssynia today. Well, that is a picture of this country as it was, say in the summer of 1912.” The operator mused, shaking his head Incredulously. "What caused these ouhreaks?” he asked. "That, my lad, is something that none of the great scientists who studdied it ever was able to discover. But this is the way it could begin: a bunch of usually sane citizens wqjild be sitting together, and all of a sudden one of them would happen to look up at the calendar. ’Whoops, my dear!’ he’d yell. ‘By the calen 7 dar I see that next year is going to be the year when we’ve got to elect another president Who shall it- be?* ’Roosevelt’ one would say. 'None of it’ would oome from a second. Taft is the boy,* Taft your eye!’ ifcjptthird would yell. *Wilson! Wilson forever!’ Then all of a sudden they’d bevelling back at one another, and fronPWbrd*

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

they’d seme to blows, sad from blows to chairs, and* then the man who ran the place would have to come in and tell them to get out and fight in the street or he’d lose his license. “Why they did it nobody ever waa able to tell. It wasn’t anythin# that concerned the average man. He had to scramble jilst as hard to support his family no matter what happened. But they’d go at it just as if it was some of their business. After they’d got thoroughly warmed up some one of the tribe of agitators called pot itlcians, who had been waiting Tor the right moment for some tfine, would signal Us calcium operator and suddenly stand forth in the spotlight. T hate to sacrifice myself, fellow citizens,’ he’d say, hut if you insist Upon it—Here, bops, bring out those hundred thousand lithographs I’ve had made of myself these last six months.’ ~

“Then the common people, as they were called then, would be touched by the noble conduct of the man. ‘Hooray!’ they’d say. Then the noble gent would get some of his rich friends to hire a hall and they’d have what they called a convention. Then was When yob could see politicalcampaignitis getting in its worst licks. The minute the average citizen entered a convention hall the plague hit him behind the ear And he was bereft of all sense and reason. “A man would get up on he platform, take a drink of water, and begin to speak. Then the victims of the disease would think that they od to do something queer. Mqst of them would keep on talking, and ever so often the plague would sweep over his audience and they’d go into convulsions. When the speech "was finished the people would think they had to get up on chairs, throw their hate and canes into the air and burn up a year’s energy cheering their heads off. Then somebody would get nominated .and ..the people would go back to their jobs an® find that the boss had got somebody in their place while they were away. 7~ “It was a great game. It reached its climax in 1912. Ah! well, I remember hofr the people of this country were running around that summer actually worrying because there were three parties in the field, and the election of one was supposed to be important. Hah! ’Tis queer to look back on it now. There was Teddy at one corner, Wilson at another, and Taft at the other. And the people actually excited about it. You’d think it was something important, like the invention of Tonnesen’s Sun Ray Storage battery, or MlkarolTs Agricultural Accelerator. Now you and I, lad, we know that the real trouble in those days was because it was so hard for a lot of the people to keep warm in winter and get enough food the year around. That’s why they had those obsolete words, ‘want’ and ‘suffering.’ And you and I, lad, we know that when that Norwegian professor began to catch sun rayß and store them for use in winter, and when the old Russian finally hit upon the ray that made five crops grow in the time cne had grown before, then was when something .important happened. But in those they had queer notions. Politics! Politics! How strange it is to look back at it all!” “Who got elected in that terrible Campaign of 1912?” asked the operator. Captain MacManus looked down at the city below and shook his head. “I don’t remember,” said he. (Copyright, by W. G. Chapman.)

WARFARE WAGED BY YOUTH

Youngsters Always In the Front Ranks When the Dogs of War Are Loosed. Our own civil war was fought by youngsters, gaining the physique of maturity upon the weary march, coming into their manhood upon the field of battle. The youth of Russia and Japan was drawn upon to settle the dispute between the robbers of a third nation’s lands. Scarce half the soldiers of the Balkan allies, it is said, had down upon their cheeks, and'in Mexico the guerrilla warfare is carri«d on by boys who in a more advanced country would be'' in school. It is probably true that since the days when entire nations made a profession of fighting, lived by conquest, and prospered by the loot they took, war has been a duty assigned always to striplings. If youth made war, there would be less of gross immorality about it But youth is only the pawns of the fighting, only the creatures to be shot down, to he exposed to privation and disease, to be laid open to the sins and temptations that trail lq the wake of armies. It has not always been realized how little a part the fighters of any war have with its contriving. But that realization must come home to q nation which takes account of the loss of its virility through war. the sacrifice of its adventurous spirit, which in other directions might have wrought quite wonderful things. Perhaps in this new way we have of looking at the rising generation as the best asset of a country the world will think more of the wastes of war, more of the damage it does to itself. Through that might come the universal peace we pray for.

Pike’s Peak Sinking.

Pike’s Peak sinking? The latest government survey. Just announced, says the altitude of that famous pealr Is only 14,100 feet above sea level Compared with its height as given officially-in the report of the survey three years ago, which was 14,147 feet, the peak is thirty-eight feet lower.—Denver Correspondence New York Ban.

FARM CONDITIONS IN INDIANA

By G. I. CHRISTIE, Superintendent ?gricultpraf Extension, Purdue University. L . A study of farm conditions in Indiana shows in a conclusive way that the possibilities of farming have but in a small measure been realized. Few farms have reached their maximum In production and few farmers dare to feel that they have solved the many complex problems which present themselves in connection with the many operations. The interest in agriculture Is widespread. Not only are the farmers giving more attention to improved methods in the cultivation of crops, production of live stock, marketing of the products, etc., but commercial clubs, chambers of commerce, railroads,JhsLpreßS and other organized bodies and institutions are showing a most direct and active interest in farming conditions.

While there are various reasons for the interest taken by commercial and city people In agriculture, the main one is the realization of the need and value of a greater production of farm products. Evidence on every hand points to the fact that production of foodstuffs in the United States has •ot kept pace with the increase In population. The result is that the demand almost equals the supply, withthe further result that prices have been materially increased until the working man begins to' wonder whether he is tp be Able to get his meals at a price he can Afford to pay. The hope for betterment of this condition lies in part in an increased production. An average of 40 bushels of corn per acre in Indiana is not satisfactory when it has been clearly demonstrated that the majority of Indiana land is capable of producing 60 to 80 Bushels. During the past few years many acreshaveproduced more than 100 bushels with no more care and attention than could be afforded to every acre of the entire crop. Is it more than reasonable to expect some Increase in the corn crop of Indiana in the very near future? Similar conditions are found with wheat, oats and other crops.' The application of better methods in cultivation, fertilization, etc., will give results. The crops are needed and farmers are bound to ntake every effort to meet the demand. Not only will it be possible to increase production on the land now under cultivation but large areas of good land In the state await improvement and are capable of producing large crops which will materially Increase the total output of the state. The area of agricultural laud in Indiana exceeds 22,000,000 acres. The total area cropped each year in the state with corn, oats, wheat, rye, clover, timothy, alfalfa, potatoes, tomatoes, tobacco, orchards, small fruits, beets, onions, cabbage and other crops is less than 12,000,000 acres. Drainage, clearing, fertilization, etc., will bring a large share of the remaining 10,000,000 acres into a productive state. This requires an investment on the part of the owners and more farm labor. Therefore, there must come with Improved methods In production higher prices which will warrant further investment together with more and a better class of farm labor. The farmer on the land is unable to do all the work on the farm and at the same time give the necessary attention to the business side of farming which demands more and more consideration with the development of agriculture. Few manufacturers today are doing all of the work in their plants. The details are left to superintendents and foremen, skilled men, capable of directing the force necessary to accomplish the piece of work. To be sure, these men are receiving good wages, but cannot farmers give equal compensation If a high class of labor is secured, and returns shown in both increased production and the' quality of the product? Indiana farms must have more and better labor if the demands for higher production are to be met in a substantial way. Better labor will mean higher wages, but these can be met without increasing the price of foodstuffs to the consumers.

It is an evident fact that farmers are entitled to higher prices and that these prices should be secured with out burdening the consumer. Last year the price paid in the United States for farm products was $6,000,000,000. The consumer paid for these lame products $13,000,000,000. It cost $7,000,000,000 to deliver the product from the farm to the consumer. Is there not an opportunity to bring the producer and the consumer closer together, with benefit to both? Indiana farms produce large sup plies of foodstuffs which are never marketed. Neglect, lack of ready sale, improper facilities for handling and marketing—these and other causes have been factors in thousands ot bushels of apples and other fruits, to matoes, and other products being fed to bogs or allowed to rot. . Of course, the farmer’s Income is materially lessened by this practice, while the people in town are forced to pay exorbitant prices for imported products. This condition can be changed through co-operative marketing, and steps should be taken to organize farmers so that a better quality of product can be placed upon the market at a greater pet income. Such organization will bring about eo-operatlon which will develop strength and leadership in the agrl- ! cultural communities. Conditions are such that the problems of the farm and country life must be worked out through active working bodies.

DOES IT PAY TO ADVERTISE?

. Anl-

By C. F. GOBBLE,

mat Husbandry, Purdue Uni verity ' School of Agriculture. Purdue University Agricultural Extension.

How many farmers advertise? I don’t believe there is . a business man or/a pure bred live stock breeder, or a seed corn grower, who does not believe in advertising. Each of these advertises more or less generally, on a scale, and In such a manner, as the size of his business or operations will warranty . [; On the other hand indiscriminate advertising does not pay. Millions of dollars are spent every year for useless advertising. To bring results, you must attract the man who wants to buy what you have to sell. If you have half a dozen Berkshire gilta for sale, you will not advertise in a Horticultural paper. Neither would you use one-half a column of space {in the Breeders’ Gazette. A small ad In your county or farm paper would probably bring results.

This is not the kind of advertising, however, 1 have in mind for the general fanner. His goods he can sell on the local market What he wants is rating, reputation and credit, and these things are given him according to his thrift and character. A man’s thrift is judged by hiß bank acount, his holdings, etc., but a man’s character is judged by a multitude of things; viz., by the way he treats his horses, bjt tbe/way he houses and cares for ms "machinery, by the way he keeps up his fences and trims his hedges, by the cleanness of his pastures, by the neatness of his barnyard and lawn, by the paint on his house and out buildings. This, to me, is the greatest opportunity for profitable advertising. If you were a banker, which man would you extend credit to, one that always patches and never builds a fance, one who drives half fed, never groomed horses, one who grows common mongrel, all colored hogs, one who uses all out-doors for a machine shed, one who never paints a building or drags a road or pulls a weed, or would you prefer your money to be in the hands of a farmer who keeps up tbe fertility of his soil, rotates his crops, sprays and prunes his orchard, uses only pure bred boars and in general, shows himself by his metods to be a progressive and an industrious farmer? Any one can answer this question and yet how may of you farmers realize the importance of these things ss they apply to you? I can hear yOu say, “I haven’t time to keep everything cleaned up all the time,” but I know and you know men, who have less money invested in their business than you have in yours, who spend more each year for advertising than it would take to hire a man to do nothing else. I know another man who has a fancy set of work harness and a new wagon that he uses solely for selling horses. He says he has paid for "the harness in the sale of one team, simply because they were more attractive, well groomed and in gopd clothes. I know another man who makes a living buying run-down places, deantng them up and selling them again. If one man can increase the value of a horse by showing him In good aur roundings and another gain a livelihood by cleaning up farms, does .it seem unreasonable that you Could increase your earnings and capital by using the same methods? Try this form of advertising. If it does not pay in dollars and cents it will at least give you and your family greater satisfaction when you compare your own home wtih those of your neighbors.

Produces Remarkable Hen.

Purdue university's poultry department has produced an extraordinary hen, and poultry fanciers and *hoee calculating entering the business of raising poulisr might well deveto some time to a consideration of the record established by her. Miss Purdue, for so the hen has been named, is a White Leghorn, and during th&last two years has produced 443 eggsf weighing 41.5 pounds. A register is kept of her performance and the records are beyond any question. Miss Purdue weighs only three and one-half pounds, but in the time mentioned above she produced 11.8 times her weight She was a gourmand and consumed over 132 pounds of feed, a feat which will surprise a great many people. From every pound of feed, Miss Purdue produced three and one-half eggs. She manufactured one pound of eggs from every 3.2 pounds of feed. The efficiency of the engine In the body of this small bird is indeed wonderful. She is considered one of the most efficient producers of a finished produqb from raw material that ever existed. Agriculturists

acknowledge that a steer produces a pound of beef from 12 pounds of feed, and that a hog requires four pounds before it can make a pound of pork. It cost $1.93 to feed the little lady for two years, but the value of her eggs at market price in La Fayette, Ind-, was slO.ll. Every dozen sold for 27.4 cents, but they cost only 6.2 cents to manufacture. If it were possible tc find many such hens as Purdue found in this bird, it would be easy to get rich from poultry. t Miss Purdue made a profit of $9 over the cost of feyd in two years. Her own value at the start was not over a dollar. Hens are certainly interesting little creatures and moneymakers for their owners. Moreover, this little pride of the poultry depart ment has produced eight sons and eight daughters, who are expected to be the progenitors of a race ot heavy layers. ';.

riSrar HQwiANP WHY BE DOWNHEARTED? Oh, do not fret and do not frown If you . are not a millionaire, And do . not bellow through the town if you have few fine clothes to wear; Be glad you’re not a pelican, without a pleasing song to sing. And doomed 16 hear the children say:i “Oh, what a funny looking thing!” Oh, do not weep and do. not sigh If yon possess no wide estate, And, though you may be humble, try to be contented with your fate; You’re not a turkey, and therefor# you. should be very glad at heart. Think how pleasant It would be to have your wishbone pulled apart. Oh, do not grumble If your name hse not become a household word, But keep on reaching after fame; your earnest prayers may yet be heard; Be thankful you’re no soubrette, left pet*? niless and doomed to walk From some unlovely Kansas town—on tlss —to tittle old New Yawk. Oh, do not wail and do not moan if you possess no limousine. Or if you do not even own a little openfaced machine; You should be glad that you are not a silly parrot In a cage, Or Mary Garden, forced to play Salome on a chilly stage.

CANDID OPINION.

Sympathy never moistened a parched thrqat. Most men who claim to have strong convictions would have little left if. they were to be deprived of their prejudices. The man who waits for just the right time to start never gets anywhere. If every woman could trace her descent from a king sorrow would never again find lodgment in a feminine breast There is something uncanny about the mother who admits that her boy may have been just as muck to Mama, as her neighbor's child. The meanest man is one who will call on a young lady and spend tile evening talking about the loveliness of some other girl.

A Psalm of Wives.

Lives of great men all remind us What a lot we owe our wives. Little women get behind us And make something of our live*. —Catholic Standard and Time*. Something that perhaps another Bitterer bard than I might hint— Ah, but why continue fu’ther? It ain’t no nice word to print. —New York Evening Man. Make us? Yes. they make us, truly. Though we oft may be Inclined To be stubborn and unruly— Make us hook their waists behind.

At the Altar.

“Pa,” said the beautiful heiress, “you mustn’t fail to get back in time for the wedding. There will be %o one else to give me away.” “To give you away? Good goeh. that ain’t no name for it. Didn’t I pay the baron SBOO,OOO in cold cash to take you? I guess you ain’t no premium, are you?” ~

TRAINED.

"How in the world were you able to eat the stuff they served up at that

Natural.

“Does this city look natural to you?” asked the prominent citizen. "Notice any sign of growth?” “Oh, yes, there are a good many skyscrapers that were not here when I left Still, it looks natural enough. The streets are all torn up. exactly as they were when I went away 17 years ago.”

His Last Argument.

"Darling, will you marry me?" "No. I do not care for you in that ( way. But I hope we may always be friends." “Wait. Before you make your decision anal won’t you please taste these gumdrops?”

summer <hotel which you recommended to us?” "It was easy. I had practiced. My wife did her own (coking for three weeks before I went away.”