Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 308, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 December 1913 — Page 2

GATHERED TO SMILES

FIXING THE BLAME.

“Auntie, when you were a young <irl were you very pretty?” “Yes, my child, very pretty.” “Were you popular?” “Oh, yes, very popular. I was the belle of the neighborhood." "Didn’t any young men ever come to call on you?” “Oh, yes, my dear. Lots of them.” “Then, auntie, why is it that you never married?” “Nobody ever proposed to me, my dear.” ~ “Why not?”' “I don’t know. But I’ve often thought it must have been the high cost of living that scared the young men off In those days.”

JUST LIKE HER.

“I didn’t know that you lived on the first floor. I understood your wife to say that you lived on the second floor.” “If you knew my wife you would know that she always' stretches a story.”

Cause for Anger.

Mr. Wilkins was near the exploding point when his neighbor met him on the street. “That man Tompkins,” he burst out, “has more nerve than any one I ever met!" “Why?” asked his neighbor, curiously. “He came over to my house last evening and borrowed my gun to kill a dog that kept him awake nights.” “Well, what of that ?” “Why,” shouted Mr. Wilkins, “it was my dog he killed!” —Ladies’ Home Jiurnal.

Performances at Value.

Actor —I must insist on being paid for rehearsals. Manager—What on earth for? I never heard of such a thing. Actor —Because lately I’ve had so many six weeks’ rehearsals for a ten days’ run. But I don’t mind giving the performances free. —Punch.

The Boy Scouts.

Big Brother Bill —Wanter come wif us, do yer?. What bloomin’ good would you be in a war? Capting (in the distance) —Better let ’im come, and I’ll. make ’im me alde-de-kong. We can’t keep the whole bloomin’ army waiting.—Sydney Bulletin.

Domestic Amenities.

“I was a fool ever to marry you!” sobbed Mrs. Winks. "Now, my dear,” said Winks nobly, “I cannot permit you to take the blame far that. It was I who was the fool for ever asking you. The mistake was not yours, but mine.” —Harper’s Weekly.

LEAVE BEFORE TOO LATE.

First Boarder—Why are you going tto leave? Second Boarder —I’m afraid the has designs on me. First Boarder —How so? '*■ Second v Boarder—At supper last might she gave me the breast of the jchicken instead of the neck. (

A Best Seller.

, "My publishers have my next novel tail billed and advertised, I see," "That ought to be gratifying.” "It is; but they may want to begin selling it, don’t you know. I wonder what I’ll write about."

All In the Family.

I Suburbs—The minister out in our 'place won’t marry you unless you {have a medical certificate. Crawford—ls it hard to get one? Suburbs—Why, ho. It happens his to a doctor - Judge.

What’s In a Name.

Mike, one of the unemployed, was told of a vacancy, and weit to apply for the job. After he had answered a .number of questions, the employer asked, “What’s your name?” “MacGonigal, sorr.” “Spell it.”

“Mo —no!” Mo—a —g.” Mike stuck, but tried again. "M — a— g—a — Ach, to blazes wid yo: Ye can keep yer ould job.”

Hero Unawares.

Reginald de Bacchus, profligate son of a millionaire soapmaker, sat up in bed and moaned for water. “This is the end of my social career,” he muttered. “I drank too much last night at the ball and staggered into everybody.” “’Aardly, sir, ’ardly,” murmured his valet, apologetically. ’Hevery one’s praising you for hinventing a new dance.”—Brooklyn Life.

Why She Wore Glasses.

Mistress—Why, Bridget, are your eyes weak? I notice that you wear colored glasses every time you go out of the house. Bridget—lt’s not me eyes, mum. But whin the sun sholnes loike it does outdoors today, I’d as black as a naygur av I didn’t inoderate thfeloight a little by wearin’ thim colored spectacles.

An Impression of Ease.

“I understand that your boy Josh is studying to be an electrical "engineer.” '*• “Well,” replied Farmer Corntossel, “I advised him to take it up. I heard some fellers say that nobody really knew a whole lot about electricity, so I thought mebbe Josh would have some chance of passin’ examinations.”

Unusual.

“And here,” said the man with the megaphone, “is the home of a millionaire with nine children.” Passengers on the rubberneck wagon could hardly believe what they heard. “Well, by cracky!” exclaimed an old gentleman'from the rural districts, "from the way-you talk, I’d a-thought he was pore!”

TWO OF A KIND.

New Cook —I guess you’re a foine cook, mum. Young Wise —Mercy, no. I don’t know anything about it. New Cook —Thin we’ll git on splendidly, mum. I don’t either.

Made These People.

“Clothes don’t make the man,” quoted a sage. "They made me!” said a retired tailor. “Where should I be if it wasn’t for suits?” chimed in a young lawyer.

Prolonged Rapture.

Chaps that stutter, sort of utter Strung-out vocables like t-t-t-thi«, They must make the girlies flutter If they stutter when they k-k-k-kiss.

Blame the Hens.

"Do you furnish affidavits with your eggs, showing exactly the minute they were laid?" asked the fussy lady. "No, ma’am, we do not,” replied the marketman, politely. "We tried to furnish such affidavits, but the hens positively refuse to sign ’em.”

Both Went Under.

"I was once a prosperous merchant with a good business add aeroplane,” explained the tramp. - “What happened?” asked the housewife.

“I ran them both into the ground, mum.”

His Contrary Way.

“My husband thinks I’m extravagant and gets mad every time he sees me with new clothes.” “He does?” “Yes. He never sees me dressing up that4ie doesn't give me a dressing down.”

A New Department.

"That new manager is a wonder,” declared the department store head. “As to how?” “Has a bargain sale every day, and sells nearly every woman an accident policy before the rush begins.”

Worse.

Bluff—l understand old Grlmely cut his son off with a shilling. Gruff—Worse than that. Bluff—How so? Gruff—He cut him off with a shilling and the family motor car.

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

APART from the bewildering world of gowns in the loosely hanging styles, with voluminous and enveloping draperies and all sorts of eccentricities of construction, the tailormade survives. Well-set-up gowns for the promenade are to be seen on the best dressed women, bearing little imprint (apd sometimes none at all) of the vogue of the “sloppy styles.” Some of the refreshingly neat looking suits are severely plain, but the majority embody a skirt in which there is a little drapery and a charming coat or jacket, with an easy set to the figure. American woman is • independent enough to continue to wear an undraped skirt and a plain coat if it suits her style best. A plentiful sprinkling of them appears in any concourse of fashionable people. But the most successful and pleasing suits are those in which the style features of the prevailing mode have made themselves felt to the extent of doing away with severe lines.

Such a suit is pictured here on the smartly gowned lady dressed for a promenade. It is of brocaded eponge, in a dark paprika shade, worn with a small black hat and an unspotted ermine muff. There is a border of ermine on the collar. In passing, one should note that a touch of fur in the costume, as a trimming, worn with a muff to match, is just about the latest and most successfur of fashion’s fancies. At the New York horse show there was a liberal spffnkling of gowns in which this combination proved itself most effective. In one costume of sage green satin and chiffon had a shawl collar of spotted ermine, with muff to match. The hat was an Oriental turban of black velvet. Over the gown an enveloping coat concealed the ermine collar entirely when the wearer took her pretty and richly clad, petite body homeward. The advantage in this management of furs lies in having the gown harmonize with the muff, rather than the

MUFFS OF VELVET AND OTHER SOFT STUFFS POPULAR

THERE are so many muffs of other things than fur that one might almost venture on the assertion that fabric muffs out-number fur muffs. These muffs of velvet and brocades, plushes and chiffons are even more attractive than all-fur muffs. They are soft, mod-

erately large and trimmed with fur. A bouquet of flowers pinned to the muff Is worn quite as often as at, the corsage. " Banda of fur as a trimming are almost never omitted from muffs made of fabric. As in millinery, .the fur is quite often an imitation of the skin tor which it is called, but the fabric

Appropriate for the Promenade

outside wrap. Milady removes her wrap, but continues to wear her lux* urioUs muff for afternoon tea or reception or other social event. -

The street suit shown here has a small waistcoat of net and chiffon, with wide girdle of the material in the dress. The draped skirt has the effect of a piece of goods wrapped about the figure and adjusted to it’ with a few pleats at the back and side front. The coat has a rounded basque at, the back. . - By way of decoration nothing -is needed except what is provided in buttous covered with the fabric which appears in the gown, and the border of fur on the collar.

The sleeves are separate and sewed in, much like so many models in which the pretty kimono sleeve is featured. The beautifully adjusted rolling collar and the set-in sleeve are worthy of special mention in this costume. Especially the slender woman should appreciate how well the revers and collar of the coat, the full soft vest and the wide girdle amplify and add graciousness to a figure inclined to meagerness.

• As to the hat, like about ninety-nine hundred and ninety-nine out of a thousand among those worn at present,- it is small, with a novel brim and soft crown, and is made of black velvet. The plume in this instance repeats the color of the gown, thereby departing from thp rule of all-black, which would have been quite as effective with the costume,

While the popularity of the all-black hat makes a concourse of fashionable women look somewhat somber, there was flever any millinery so generally useful. Some women have several different trimmings, which they put on and off the shape at pleasure. This provides variety, but the all-black hat is appropriately worn with any costume.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

muff, being a shortlived affair as compared with one of fur, does not need to be so durable, and hence the imitatation furs serve the purpose of trimming very well. A muff of black velvet shown here is trimmed with bands of imitation ermine. Muff beds of down or wool batting are to be had, some of them readylined with soft satin, to which the velvet or other fabric is to be sewed. If a down bed is used it is advisable to first cover it with a thin interlining, to keep the down from working out. The fabric is draped on the bed in a number of ways. In the muff illustrated the velvet is laid in a few Irregular plaits, with wide over-banging ruffles at the end lined with soft satin. It is trimmed with a band of white fur at each end and ermine tails finish the .bands. ' Two bands are shown, such as~are used for trimming dresses, muffs and hats. Such a furore for fur trimmings has developed that it is predicted It will appear in spring and perhaps summer styles, . . JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

Furniture Mixed.

Very often furniture of several periods may be brought together harmoniously in one room if the pieces are beautiful themselves and show color unity, says the New Haven Journal Courier. Some authorities advise ’that a room show only one period ,or characteristics of a certain period, but this is not absolutely necessary it selections are made with of Intrinsic beauty and, color harmony.

STORIES from the BIG CITIES

Why He Sold Coat He Had Intended for Newsboy

NEW YORK. —Stepping briskly in the chilly air of early morning, but snugly wrapped in his great coat, a veteran commuter from Douglaston, I*. L. approached his favorite “newsboy,” an aged man who holds forth at Broad-

all that he desired, he made up his mind to bring along the second overcoat, for the “newsboy” next morning. Carrying the coat on his arm, and choking just a little with the emotion that fills the hreast of man when rendering a kindly deed, he debated how hewould give the coat to him without show or any chaiice of giving offense. “Not so chilly this morning,” he said, “but rather cool yet, rather cool, eh?” “It is,” said the newsdealer, “but probably not as cold here as it is z in the country where you live. “We’ve, had some frost out there, but none this morning.” ■.“ We've known each other in a business way for several years,” the aged man said vvlth a smile. “But I never knew where you lived.” “Oh, I live at Douglaston, just 13 miles out. Best place on Long Island,” replied the commuter, with the customary review of the species commute. “Douglaston? Why, that is where my property is located,” said the “newsboy,” “or rather, Douglas Manor. I like that section best.” The commuter took his newspaper and turned toward Seventh avenue, where he sold the coat to a second-hand dealer for $3. w

An Opprobrious Epithet or a Delicate Compliment?

PHILADELPHIA. —Michael Madden, patrolman No. 23, is in trouble. Michael was loosening the roots of a trolley feed wire pole by leaning his 230-pound bulk against it, and furnishing-inspiration for an admiring small

boy carrying a dead kitten by the tail, who was trying to imitate the neat, professional way in which he was juggling his club. Meanwhile he was discussing with a friend of the female persuasion the state of health of his friend her husband, Dennis FlannigaiT, since a little affair that had taken place in McGraw’s place around the corner. To him came, as abruptly and vivaciously as a setting hen routed from her nest, another lady who shattered the surrounding atmosphere with an account of how she had just been robbed of her purse by a man whom she pointed out scurrying into the crowd on the other side of the street. Michael calmly surveyed her in the detached, aristocratic way Impossible to all save policemen and members of the British nobility,

and when she stopped to get her breath he sententiously and authoritatively informed her that she was “talking through her hat.” What Lady No. 2 then told Patrolman No. 23 is not,set down, but probably it was interesting. Anyway, Michael Madden has been summoned to appear before the board of police commissioners. And the board doesn’t quite know what to do. It is trying to find out whether “talking through your hat” is equivalent to an opprobrious epithet or is a delicate compl’ment to the language of a queen of the hearts of men. »

Light on Question of “How to Beat a Board Bill”

INDIANAPOLIS, IND. —New light on the question, “How to Beat a Board Bill,” is furnished by the employment department of the Children’s Aid association, which unconsciously was made to be of service in a successful effort

governess might be needed, but without result Later In the day there entered the office a gray-haired man carrying a grip, who said he wished a French teacher for his children and could pay |8 a week and give the teacher a home. The Collins boarding house was called and the applicant, not being at home, the message was given to the woman who answered the telephone. “Tell Miss we have a position for her and that she Is to come here tomorrow morning and bring her suit case prepared to leave if everything is all right after she talks to Mr. .” But the next day came and went and neither the French governess not her prospective employer appeared to meet and talk things over.

Beauty Stations Are Talked About in Milwaukee

Milwaukee, wis.— it may be necessary to establish municipal beauty stations in Milwaukee before many days if street car crews, policemen and the population of the sterner sex are sincere in. their statements. Of course

they want to be "real mean” or “horrid” about it, but they declare this would be the only means of satisfying the powder puff, which they declare has become almost a public menace. Everything that shines has been used, by the fair sex as mirrors. “I had a woman in an electric brougham stop her car in the middle of the block not long since and congest traffic the entire block,” said Crossing Officer Johnston, at Grand and East. Water streets. "She calmly took a hand mirror out of purse and proceeded to dab herself while autos behind screeched tbelr horns and teamsters sWore softly. But what could you do? Our orders are to be courteous, so I just bad to stand still until that nose was powdered.” A floorwalker in a-Grand avenue store pointed

to a post surrounded by mirrors on each side. “That post,” said he, "to the rallying point of lots of women who scrutinize most carefully every angle ot their face, and others must fairly wedge their way through.”

way and Thirty-fourth street, and whose bent forx» was shaking violently as he shifted from one foot to another at the intersection of the wind-swept thoroughfares. A fight summer coat, with no waistcoat, was all the protection he had from thecold. (Certainly, the man worp trousers, although the reporter forgot to mention it.) “Just a bit chilly for you, old man,” said the* commuter, with an undiscounted, ho,te of compassion in his voice. “Yes, it is very, very cold 6n this comer,” he returned in shivery tones. The warmth of his big coat spread to the heart of the man from Douglaston. He had another overcoat at home, a coat he wore on -country tramps and in bad weather. The election having been to his liking and everything else in the world:

of that kind. ' Mrs. C. B. Collins, 421 East. New York street, was holding the suit case of a young French woman for the board bill of herself and her uncle, a gray-haired man. "You pay me the money and I will let you have the suit case,” she told the young woman. “I will get zee job and pay," was the young Woman’s confident return . She was unusually neat and attractive and told the employment department of the Children’s Aid association, in the Baldwin block, that she wished a position as a French governess. , “There are not many such positions to be had. but we will see what we can do.” The young woman left and Miss Edith Spray put in calls to many North side families where a