Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 305, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 December 1913 — CITY DWELLER UTTERS WAIL [ARTICLE]

CITY DWELLER UTTERS WAIL

Among Other Things, He Seems tn Have a Grievance Against the “Fresh" Egg. An unhatched crocodile, according to a learned Journal, utters' a ciT from inside the egg. As we dwellers in this metropolis know to our cost, the egg of our acquaintance—the domestic breakfast variety, to-wlt—cries aloud after being placed under our noses. Eggs are usually regarded an a comic subject, and the late Dan Leno was wont to deliver a most diverting dissertation concerning them. Too long have we suffered, however, from that ghastly imposture, the “fresh” egg, which may go back to the days of good King George—the Fourth,—for all we can tell. Eggs are far more uncertain than woman’s love or horse races, and whenever I think of them I long to be in the country. For there the milkman brings them along in the morning and we have a guarantee that they will not revive memories of Methuselah. With all our boasted advancement we take remarkable risks where provisions are concerned. Some of the tinned products observable in huckster’s windows I should be sorry' to sample foF a royal ransom. And I couldn’t eat a winkle if you paid me <SO down. It was Llzsle Coote who used to sing: “Did you ever catch a winkle asleep?” Most of us would plead “Not guilty.’* As for seeing an oyster walk the chances are hopeless. The oyster is a swagger mollusc today and would insist on being taken up in a lift— London Chronicle. Second thoughts are best God created man; woman was the afterthought—Proverb.