Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 302, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 December 1913 — A Promoter’s Dream, or Who Pays For the Lumber? [ARTICLE]

A Promoter’s Dream, or Who Pays For the Lumber?

A promoter, they say, Went to Gary one day To boost a jockey club; “You’d better eome in Make money like sin;. Come in, if you don’t, you’re a dub.”

A, lawyer named Retsch Was quite easy to stretch, He said: “It looks to be grand, But what I want to know Before in it I go, Will the state’s chief executive stand?”

“Why, sure, it’s the law, There isn’t a flaw; The ‘guv* is as straight as a string: All we’ll have to do Is to rush things right through, We’ll be rich before grass grows in the spring.”

Arinenias F. Knotts, Who has money big lots, Took a nibble and swallowed the hook, Another named Pete Went in with both feet And others said, “We’ll take a look.”

“It’s not a bit scaley,” Said wise William Daley, I'm into this thing with both feet, It’ll be lots of fun To watch ponies run, As a cash getter it cannot be beat.”

“We’ll build a fast track And rush up a shack; Have the ponies here some time this year; Will we bet? well, we’ll try it, But sh! keep it quiet; Although there’s really nothing to fear.”

“But where in the thunder Will we get the lumber?” Said one of the boosters that day, “Why, from the Manhattan, Your head is a flat ’un, We’ll buy it; they’ll wait for their pay.” A racing foundation To startle the nation Largely made up of legal profesh; But later in life , When for pay there was strife, It resembled the days of sessesh.

The race-track complete, ’Twas Jime for the meet, The ponies and jockeys were there; The judges and starters, And lots of silk garters To make it a glorious affair.

“They’re off,” hear the shout Of a gaily dressed tout; “Bllxen Lad in the lead, see him tear; But hell, hold ’em back, What is that in the track? It’s the soldiers, “Great God,” in despair. >

I must confess, It’s a hell of a mess,” Said Ben Hyman to Peter Crumpacker; A. F. Knotts was nonplussed And just sat down and cussed,

And they said of the “guv” “there’s none blacker." A-. 'They accuse us of betting, But a sin so besetting, Is something we will not allow; Just go take a look And you’ll not find a book, (The ‘takers’ areeii route for Chicago right now".") »’ % There*was lots of scheming And some very wild dreaming? The aid of the courts were invoked; “We’ll enjoin every one If he carries a gun, We’ll show Marshall that we can’t be joked.”

But the soldiers stood pat And Thistlewafte sat In the gubernatorial chair While Retsch and the rest Were doing their best To have everything look on the square. * /

Thus ended the meet, But Knotts, Hyman and Pete Were not quite disposed to surrender; ‘'Our game’s on the square And the new “guv” won’t care To go off on a similar bender.”

“We’ll try He’s not such a dmce As the man who was his predfcces- - sor; Walter Fabing’s all right There’s no trouble in sight,” Was the guess of some mighty poor guesser.

But the soldiers came, back And camped on the track And busted the racing foundation; In a terrible stew The horsemen withdrew To the furthermost ends of creation.

Thus ended the scheme Of a promoter’s dream But it was not the end for some backer, For the lumber, they say, Some one will have to pay; Either Knotts, Hyman, Retsch or Crumpacker.

No noisy brass band Occupies the grandstand; The backers now sorely are nettled; Grass high as your back Has»grown up in the track And the lumber bill still is unsettled.

It seems rather queer That old Rensselaer Is trying a case so perplexing, Where witnesses swear Till you’re right in the air And their answers are certainly vexing.

Now our story is told In a manner so bold And poetical effort so painful That we must desist Before you. resist And make life for the poet most baneful.