Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 291, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 December 1913 — Page 3

The Basement Philosopher

By KENNETT HARRIS

(Copyright, 1911 by W G. Chaptnu) "Nels, my friend,” said the janitor to his Scandinavian assistant,, with more than his usual blandness, “Nels, my friend, would you do me the favor to bring me them there old shoes that’s a-standing behind the door? Thank you kindly. I’m much obliged to you, Nels. You’re an accommodating sort of a guy, you lire, and I’ve been 'a-noticing it. And now since you’re here, maybe you’ll pull off these here boots of mine for me. They’re hurting my feet considerable.” The janitor leaned back in bis chair and his assistant, backing up to him,, straddled the extended leg and stooping, gripped the heel of a boot that was well plastered with recent mud. The janitor placed his other foot against that part of his assist' ant’s person that was nearest and pushed firmly but gently. “Good work!” commented the janitor, as the boot slid off. “I never seen that better done. Now for the other one, if it ain’t troubling you too much." The operation was repeated, but this time the janitor applied so much force to his part of it that the assistant waß propelled violently forward on his hands and, knees, from which posture he arose with a red face, muttering words in a strange tongue. “Holy smoke!” ejaculated the janitor, with an appearance of extreme irritation. “What was you a-trying to do? Throw somersaults? Say, didn’t you know that boot was --going to come off, or did you think you was hitched up to a load.- of coal on an upgrade? It’d a pity you didn’t run your thick head into the wall. You’ve got lots of sense, you have. Skinned your knuckles, have you? I’m glad of It Maybe it’ll learn you something.

“GOOD WORK," COMMENTED THE JANITOR A 8 THE BOOT BLID OFF.

"One thing It ought to learn you is not to be so dem obliging,” the janitor continued, after glaring a moment or two on the abashed assistant. “You ain’t in Souwegla now. You’re in the land of the free where one man’s just as good as another and a blamed sight better, as the fellow says. You want to keep that in mind and seo that everybody else does. You go around doing things for people that they can do for themselves or hire done just as-well as not, and it won’t be but a little while before you’re a-working over hours and giving out the impression that your time ain’t worth nothing. When a man once begins to malm a pack horse of himself, everybody for miles around will come a-running with a full sack to put on him, and they’ll give him the gad if he ain’t moving fast enough to suit 'em. “Yesterday I seen you run out and pick up a box a guy had dropped out of his dray and carry it over half a block to where he had pulled up and was a-waiting for you. I guess that box weighed forty or fifty pounds, but you didn't care. If it had been a safe, it would have been all the same. You was a-goln’ to be accommodating if you bust them new suspenders of yours. Wouldn’t have done to have hollered at him and let him drive back for it and load it in himself, would it? You ain’t mean enough to do a trick like that, are you? What did you get for that there kind act? You needn’t lie, because I beard the cussing he gave you for hoisting the box onto his corn. “And it .wasn’t ten minutes after that that you dropped your broom onto the sidewalk and jumped to open the door for'the old woman in 4S just because she had a few parcels in her arms. She couldn’t have laid them parcels down and opened the door herself, could she? Certainly not. She’d have probably waited there all afternoon. And what did she do when you had opened the door? Asked you if you wouldn’t ring her bell for her, and you done it, just the same as you humped your back helping them huskies up three flights this morning with the piano. They give you an invite to go around the corner with them and wet up, didn’t they? Not much, they didn’t. They was afrpld of hurting your feelinjp, and they didn't know but what you might be on the water wagon afayway. What they done was to blame the plaster they knocked off the wall onto you when i spoke to them about It, and {then drive over to Mike’s by themselves. • ’Til tell you, Nels,” said the Janl fee. “You want to understand that

I’m an obliging man, myself. Why, ft was only last fall one of the tenants wmes to me and slips me a five-spot and says he’d like to have me loon after his bull pup for a couple ot weeks while he was off on his vacation. I didn’t hang back. 1 told him that I was willing to accommodate him, and I done so. That was some pup, too, I want to tell you. Inside of the two weeks that fellow was gone, I matched him up against rour different dogs that waß considered pippins, and what I did to the ginks that backed ’em was a sin and a shame. I could tell you of lots of other obliging things I’ve done right in this building, if I wanted to brag. I believe in being helpful. I Ain’t opposed to it in moderation, only I like to feel tolerable certain that the guy I help is going to appreciate what I do for him and that he is in a position to show it “Don’t get the idea that I’m all the time a-looking for thanks, I ain’t. Mike was telling me one time about a friend of his that started up a poultry farm out near Lake Forest He was a grateful man, Mike’s friend was, and every time his hens laid an egg he thanked them for it. After while the hens quit laying and he come to Mike and wanted to know what was the best thing to do. ‘“Try some chicken feed on ’em,' says Mike. “Now I ain’t no hen, Nels, but T like some chicken feed now and then,” Bald the janitor, as he pulled on his snoesJ "And you refnembei what I’ve told you. What did you gel when you accommodated me jusl now? “You got the boot, Nels, my friend, and that’s what they all get. Now you can shake down them grates."

PUT UNDER CONTRIBUTION

Cleveland Lawyers Left “Holding the Bag" After Tramp Made Good His Departure. A pathetic looking tramp hobbled into a lawyer’s office in the downtown district a few weeks ago, relates the

Cleveland Plain Dealer. When his turn came to be interviewed he said that he wanted to sue a man for heavy damages. He had been run down by a motor car; his shoulder was dislocated, his clothes tom, his ankle sprained severely. He had been knocked into the gutter and the driver of the car had put on full speed without trying to ascertain the condition of the victim. The latter had taken the number of the car, however, find he said he could produce witnesses. It was a good case, and the lawyer agreed to take it “ —Er — I can’t pay you no money now, sir,” mumbled the client, in au embarrassed manner. “I ain’t got a cent, am’ if you don’t want ter—” “That’s all right,” said the lawyer, “We’ll settle that when I win your case. By the way, If you’re broke you’ll need a little to go on.” And a greenback changed hands. There wouldn’t have been much of a story in this if the motor car victim hadn’t 'gone to five other lawyers in the same building before he considered that his case would be sufficiently well handled. He collected about S3O and then recovered from his bruises and disappeared.

What Becomes of Old Clothes?

Black cloth clothes purchased by second-hand dealers, provided they are too far gone to be “revived,” are sent to France, Russia, and Poland to be made into caps, which the working people of these countries wear. The cast-off red coats of the British soldiers almost all go to Holland, for in that damp country the people have a notion that red cloth keeps off rheumatism; therefore, all careful Dutchmen of the laboring classes wear red cloth waistcoats next their skin. These are made by cutting off the sleeves of the British soldiers’ red coats and altering the shape a little. The showy uniforms or the guards and the fulldress liveries of the lord mayor’s footmen and the royal servants come into the hands of th«> oldclothes dealers, and go chiefly to the south coast of Africa, where they are sold to the native chiefs. Travelers are sometimes amused at being received, in full state by a swarthy chief on his throne dressed out in footman’s livery or a rifleman’s uniform. —Northern Weekly Gazette.

Honest Dealer.

“Does that parrot use bad language?” “Well, mum, that ’ere bird ain’t no purist, ’cahse he ain’t had no college eddlcatiou, an* bein’ as how he were taught to talk by a sailor, his English ain’t none too good, but I’vo never heard him swear.”

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, * RENSSELAER, IND.

FIND ARMY REFUGE

Picturesque French Foreign Le-gion-Stories Regarding it Men Sbek It for Oblivion—-Some Sought Have Been Found, but Others Have Succeeded in Concealing Their ‘ Identity. Paris. —The French foreign legion is the moßt picturesque military organization in the world. It is the refuge of men" gone wrong through impulse or misfortune who wish to bury themselves in oblivion while fighting to regain an honorable place in the world of life and activity. Of the foreign legion a thousand romantic tales are told. In answer to German critics, General Bruneau, who commanded tbe second regiment of the organization, has recently related some of his experiences and unveiled certain of its mysteries. The rank and file of the corps* he says, is composed of princes, dukes, marqueses, counts and viscounts, generals and officers of all grades, all arms, of the armies of all countries, priests, financiers, diplomats, lawyers and professional functionaries of all sorts; honest adventurers who simply want to “see the world;” the neurasthenic, the disheartened, the unemployed; those who, having lost everything but honor, or having lost honor itself, would make a new start.-, All this diverse human metal, thrown into the melting pot together, is eventhally molded into that brave, stoic, loyal,’devoted, patient and tenacious prototype of the man of arms, the legionary. The most remarkable story of all connected with the lsgion is that of a soldier of the second class —another Muller —who died in the hospital at Garryvilla, Rumor has it that he was a bona fide Hohenzollern, a cousin of the kaiser himself. Efforts to trace bis career or to identify him definitely have so far failed, though the episode is so fully authenticated as to leave little doubt that a scapegrace member of the imperial family of Germany did take refuge under its mysterious banner. Only a few months ago France had the laugh on her neighbor over the case of one “Tunze, No. 13,617,” a recruit of the legion at Saida, whose real name turned out to be Troemel, the missing mayor of the Usedom, in Pomerania. In the regiment at Saida. Troemel met Sergeant von Salomon, who was formerly in his regiment in the German army. “In those days,” says Troemel, “he saluted me; now I salute him.” Some years ago General Bruneau had occasion to visit the tent of General Detrie, then in chief command of the legion. It waß during the grand maneuvers of the French army. “As I approached the tent,” writes the general, I was struck with the noble appearance of the sentry on guard

CARE OF RARE PET COSTLY

Montana Owners Have Difficulty in Raising Only Mountain Sheep in Captivity. Anaconda, Mont. —Felix, the only mountain sheep known to.be in captivity, after a series of ' troubles that would kill half a dozen ordinary sheep, and having been given up by the doctors several times, is now in the best of health and gives promise bt living to a ripe ol dage. If he does not, it will not be the fault of his attendants. Felix has bad enough money spent on his account to bring a whole flock of common sheep maturity and caused more sleepless rights .or those who have his wellbeing at h oart than arc occasioned by many human beings. He worries very little a£out the trouble he has caused, evidently believing he is worth it, and from the viewpoint of his sponsors, he is. Letters of inquiry as to his condition and the progress he is making toward becoming domesticated come from all over the country, and even telegrams. Felix was captured near Triple Divide mountain, adjacent to Two Medicine lake, in Glacier National park, nearly four months ago by W. J. Cavanaugh and N. H. Pearl, forest rangers. His little brother was taken at the same time and both were brought to Butte. The little fellow died a day or two after arriving and Felix set out on his checkered career alone. The little stranger of the hills did not take kindly to warmed over cows’ milk, fed by hand, so Mr. Forsythe wetit into the country and seepred the loan of an amiable old . ewe. She gave the foster sheep thtTJklndest care and attention and appeared very solicitous about him although she viewed some of his exploits with open eyed astonlshement. Troubles soon began to multiply for >’elix. He first manifested a hoof disease and then a distemper. These were hardly cured when he met with an accident which came near costing bis life. In a burst of joy occasioned by hearing a band play Felix attempted to climb the fence around his corral and caught his left forefoot la a knothole. He was not discovered for some time after and then had torn and scraped every shred of flesh from his leg. A veterinary was summoned and has made daily trips. While Felix limps and sometimes drags the bandaged leg he is getting well, has a remarkable appetite, consumes large quantities of oats, clover, herbs and anything else digestible that comes his way k*>d tips the scales at

MOST EXPERT COTTON STATISTICIAN

Miss Katherine Giles of Wall street, New York, is recognized as the mos[? expert cotton statistician in the United States, and her name attached to a cotton report changes cotton values millions of dollars. Her success has been meteoric, but is founded on hard work.

and the superb manner in which he rendered me his salute. At the conclusion of my visit, as I was about to take my departure, the general said to me, sotto voce: ‘You see that sentry? He is Mgr, X—, bishop of Barinthia, the handsomest man and the best soldier in the legion!’ ( "I glanced the bishop over, in passing, with an intense curiosity. He had doubtless overheard the general’s remark, for he suddenly turned pale, and his pallor was accentuated by the contrast of a beard as black as Jet, though with a few threads of silver in it, that fell in silken waves. down to the Tonkin medal on the breast of bis capote. The splendid eyes looked straight ahead —toward the distant mountains, where the sun was sinking in a sea of gold—but I had the impression that their gaze rested upon something far more distant, and that the light which illuminated his face was not the reflected radiance of the setting sun, but came from candles burning before the imaged Christ amid the somber glories of a church altar.” After the prelate, the millionaire. One day General Bruneau received a registered letter, postmarked Vienna and signed by the representative of a well known Austrian detective agency, to the following effect: M “Monsieur le General: Will you

60 pounds. He is as tall as the average grown domestic sheep and gaining in weight. His horns have begun to grow. Felix is an amiable little fellow when not annoyed. He is shy of strangers, but very fond of his keeper and of Miss Hazel Pllnt, who has gained his confidence by playing with him and feeding him dainty bits of clover, fruit and other things that are dessert on the sheep bill of fare.

“WITCH WOOD," WISE SQUAW

Indian Woman of Blackfeet Tribe, Who for Fifty Years Has Handled “Medicine Pot." Denver, Colo. —Ne-ah-tuh, or “Witch Wood.” Wise squaw of the Blackfeet tribe, for fifty years no one else has

“Witch Wood" Wise Squaw.

gathered the firewood that has blazed beneath the “medicine pot” in the mammoth council tepee. The Blackfeet are mlgiity superstitious, and

kindly inform me if a young man of Austro-Hungarian nationality, supposed to have enlisted in the i Foreign Legion under the name of Justus Perth, is now at Saida? I have already inquired, in vain, of the Firsl regiment. You will understand the interest we have in finding him when I inform you, confidentially, that in consequence of unforeseen happenings, he has become, without his knowledge or expectations, sole heir to a fortune of 12,000,000 crowns. Inclosed is a photograph, taken when he was a student at the University of Prague. jThe photograph showed a stocky youth of perhaps twenty or twentytwo years of age, and whose somewhat beefyrface was fringed with precocious whiskers. He wore eyeglasses, which made it difficult to judge of the form and shade of his eyes. General Bruneau’s first step was to have his secretary adjutant search the enlistment rolls for the name of Justus Perth. No such name appeared. Then he had all the Austrians of the detachment line up and scanned their faces /in the hope of identifying the. original of the photograph. Only two, both of whom were recent arrivals, showed possible traits of resemblance, and these in a very imperfect degree.

while the “Wood Witch” lives no other squaw can kindle the sacred fire for the oracles of the tribe. The “Wood Witch” is a dual specialist for her tribe, being the only one. left who can get the right “twist” on the ladle in stirring the "medicine pot,” when it comes to making the brilliant colored vegetable paints. Most Indian tribes today buy the commercial rouge and other mineralized dyes sold by the whites. Not so with the proud braves of the Glacier Park reservation. They spurn the use of anything but the pure vegetable colors in decorating their faces for festive occasions And Ne-ah-tuh holds the secret of extracting these from roots and herbs which she gathers in the Rocky mountain fastnesses. These gay colors must be made fresh for each application. Ne-ab-tub and the rest of the Glacier Park reservation Indians are steadfast to the primeval traits of their tribe.

MULE DIES AT AGE OF 48

Thirty Years Ago th? Animal, Then Considered Old, Was Sold as I “Plug" to Aged £legro. (l Springfield, Tenn. —A mule born In 1865 on the farm of Robert Holman, near Springfield, was named Mike and was broken to work by Holman in 1867 as a two-year-old. As the time rolled on Mike was finally dubbed Old Mike and sold as a “plug" to Manuel Douglas, an old negro, who. with his cart and Old Mike, has been a familiar figure on tbe streets of Springfield for more than 30 years. Old Mike passed in Mb checks recently as tbe oldest mule Tennessee ever produced, being at bis death forty-eight years old. Old Mike saw Springfield when it was emerging from a simple village Into a town. He saw wooden buildings give way. to modern buildings of brick and stone as be plodded bis solemn way hauling slop from tbe backyards of hotels and old boxes and rubbish from tbe basements of business houses.

Farmer Stays Racoons.

Springfield. N. “mamma" and “papa” racoons to their biding places Hubert Bobbins, a farmer, killed them because they scad robbed blm of sixty chickens in thirty drift. Four orphaned racoons will be trainwff as family pets by Dobbins.

Takes Gas Routs to Suicide.

New York. —“Do not light the gas or there will be an explosion." was the note left by August Cedar berg, seventy-one. who committed suicide by gas at his home here.

Satan’s Present Day Methods

By REV. J. H. RALSTON

SecntMy ConopoDdeßcc DeputtMM Moody Bible laeitßto, OiiriQo

TEXT—And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of Are and brimstone.—Rev. 20:10.

er it is a pleasant thought pr not, the devil is the god of this age, and is given great power, and, apparently, anticipating his doom, he is intensely active. Being wicked, he would make wickedness universal; and he uses all possible methods of corruptihg men, created in the image and likeness of the God he hates, and unfortunately succeeds with a vast number of them. The Method of Deception. The devil now uses the method of deception rather than force, which in some ages of the world was used very generally. This deception may be of several kinds. The devil may asume an attitude of special sanctity, or goodness; he may direct the thought of man to the acceptance of error; or he may delude man to the reception of something that is branded as truly religious. Taking up the first form of deception, the devil appears sometimes as an angel of light He appeared in a glittering and fascinating form to Eve in the Garden of Eden, and worked the ruin of the race morally. Many believe that the Antichrist, who will presume to take God’s place, and thus claim supreme sanctity, will be the devil himself. As we observe the present havoc in religious thinking, and study its evolution, we find that many of those who were champions of doctrinal error have posed as most serious seekers after truth, and have the reputation, ofttimes well established, of being men of sweet temper, most encouraging manners and captivating courtesy. This is not strange, fdr men of an opposite type, as champions, would at once defeat the devil’s purposes. The method of delusion by leading men away from the truth has one of its strongest features in the persuasion that open should do their own thinking! on religious subjects. The specious plea is made that the Christian religion is one of rationality and that therefore men must think out its great problems for themselves. They are urged to let nothing guide them in thinking, not the Bible, nor Christian teachers, but that they should start almost anywhere and work the problems out The result is Inevitable, for man’s thoughts are not (pod's thoughts iuid God’s thoughts only are correct in this sphere, man is ever learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. Indeed, he ordinarily gets further and further from it. Fortunate is the man who sees that he must have some safe starting point for religious thought, and that he must hold himself loyally to the lines of its development. Satanic Delusions. We have the delusion of universal salvation based on a false conception of the character of God, emphasis being placed on the love of God, which is unscripturally defined, the justice and holiness of God being practically eliminated from thought All those yielding to this delusion are not in the denomination known as Universalists, whose courage in professing what they believe is in itself worthy of commendation. There is the delusion of religious formalism. Men and women are persuaded to attach themselves to religious societies without any demand being made on them to put into their lives the principles of Christian religion, nor for the necessity of a new birth and genuine repentance and simple faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the only Mediator between God and man. Those yielding to this delusion have a form of godliness but deny the power thereof. There i)| .the delusion of false optimism, which, while not strictly religious, eventuates as religious delusions do. The principle that God is on his throne and all ifc right with the world, has almost universal approval, being echoed from thousands of pulpits. s We are in a period of delusions along Biblical lines as ip no previous age. A man or woman gets Some root of religious thought, and pursuing it Independently, discoverinig that' .in order to its wider acceptance it must have Biblical indorsement, flies to the . feible and selects from its contents that which ostensibly supports tne theory proposed. Within the last twenty-five years there have been several such delusions, and hundreds of thousands of men and women have be-, come their victims. These delusions are propagated at the expense of millions of dollars.*

The ancient conception of the two opposing principles in the universe, although often perverted, Is a correct one. There is an eternal, unchangeable and infinitely powerful, holy and loving God, and there is a malicious, wicked and powerful being in the universe whose name is in the text. Wbetta-