Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 283, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 November 1913 — Page 3

HAPPENING IN THE CITIES

Stung Once, but Came Back and Squared Account

NEW YOftK.—“Did I ever tell you how a frowsy old rube —a regular

seed, after looking on for a while, Anally bit and made a bid of $4.50 on a watch. One of our regular paid ‘cappers’ was beside the fellow from the country, and he kept raising the farmer's bids until he could go no higher. I knocked the watch down to the rube for SB,IO. It had cost us 80 cents, wholesale. “Three days later the farmer came Into the store again and walked quietly up front, f noticed that he was standing beside the same ‘capper’ that had raised his bids on the watch, but I thought nothing of it. My impression was that the old hayseed was pleased with the watch and had probably come back to buy another for a friend or relative.

Twenty Cats Deported, But Fail to Take the Hint

CLEVELAND, O.—ln spite of himself R. H. Humphries, member of tite Chamber of Commerce and the Builders' exchange, has opened an asy]«m for cats at his home near Chagrin Falls, and do what he will to prevent, the number of increases daily. He first noticed last summer the tide of cats which now threatens to engulf him. One morning he was islet by a ma-tronly-looking tabby followed by four fluffy balls that seemed to roll along the wai.lk. Mr. Humphries likes cats, in moderation, and he greeted his guests warmly, waved his hand toward the catnip bed and said: “Make yourselves at home.” Mr. Humphries stepped into his automobile and drove into Cleveland with a heart glowing with the consciousness of a good deed performed. Little did he know the dire consequences which were to follow the advent of his feline visitors.^ Several evenings later he saw an automobile slow down in front of his home and a clawing, spitting cat shot over its side. . The mystery was explained—city folks were “dropping” the cats they did not want in front of his home.

Fair Students Dance Tango on Sticky Flypaper

Baltimore, md.—The “tanglefoot tango” is the latest. And—whis-

Goucher. with her chum: Over at the Western High school, where the very little freshmen went last year, she was noted for her dainty dancing. One night a few

Amiable Prowler Is Trapped by a Falling Window

DETROIT, MICH.—It was shortly after midnight when a creaking noise awakened Miss Beulah Malsonville, aged twenty-three years, living at 364 Abbott street, and she opened her eyes to see, black against the moonlight, the form of a man so big that he completely illled the wide, old-fash-ined window casefrient of her 'Secondfloor bedroom. His soft hat set awry by his struggle up the side of the house, one of the fiat-faced old-fash-ioned order, made him look like a flgure of a Franz Hal cavalier pasted on the top of a J ipanese print. The cavaher smiled and Beulah screamed and dashed through the door toward her mother’s bedroom. The window wan close to the door and it was only the fact that the stick supporting the window ga.ve way at the psychological moment that saved Beu- > lah from the clutqb of tae amiable vis- ~ :T Mrs. Malsonville-and. Beulah’s sißter Jumped from their beds and the three Advanced on the trapped Intruder.

hayseed once stung me?” an auctioneer who formerly worked in a fake auction on Broadway asked a "reporter/ “I first saw the rube one afternoon when we had a pretty good crowd in the place *and I was selling off cheap watches. I could see at a glance that he wa» a farmer from way back in the woods. “The old hay-

per it -softly—it had its beginning in that place where hitherto the da'nce has been looked upon askance, within the walls of a Goucher college dormitory. The time was in the darkness of evening of a recent Saturday. The danseuse who gave the performance was a little, very bright, very frightened member of the freshman class at

“Business was slow this day, and as there were not many in the room I passed around a really good watch containing well known American 'works. The case was a goon, neavy, gold plate, and the watch cost us S3O. u ‘l offer sl,’ said the farmer, as soon as I had asked for a bid. The ‘capper’ raised the price up to $2, and the farmer made it $2,25. Several men raised it a little, until it had reached $3.20, and at that figure it was the farmer’s. “What troubled me was that our ‘capper’ hadn’t continued to raise the bid. “ ‘I guess that watch is mine,’ said the farmer, in a nasal, high toned pitch. “He stepped up and took the watch out of my hand before I had a chance to exchange it for a cheaper one, as I had planned to do. He paid for it, and walked back to his place. “As soon as he had paid for the watch the rube stalked Out of the store and down Broadway. I got the assistant auctioneer to take my place for a while and signaled the ‘capper’ I wanted to see him in the office. “ ‘Why didn’t you raise the farmer’s bid?’ I demanded‘“Why didn’t I!’ he answered hysterically. ‘That hayseed had a revolver In his overcoat pocket as big as a young cannon. Every time I started to bid he tickled me under theTfom piece of artillery and whisperedN:o xrie—to keep quiet. He got wise as to how he was stung the other day and came to get even,"’

The next morning when Mr. Humphries started for Cleveland, twenty cats, all he could conveniently lay hands) on, reposed in the tonneau of his machine. They were going back to Cleveland and they were to be but one of many cargoes which were to When the menagerie reached the city limits Mr. Humphries decided it was about time to shed a few cats and he looked back into the tonneau to make his selection. Every cat was gone. The boxes had been insecurely fastened and the twenty had disappeared, —— - * - Mr. Humphries consoled himself with the thought that he had carried the cats beyond walking distance of his home, but he had not. That evening when he returned home tbe deported twenty greeted him with reproachful looks and plaintive mews.

weeks ago she was invited, with her chum, who is not much bigger , than she, and a freshman, too, to visit two very popular-appearing sophomores in their rooms in one of the college dormitories. A number of sophomores besides their hostesses greeted the freshmen. Prom some mysterious corner a roll of paper was brought forth; “Take off your shoes,” ordered the tallest sophomore. The two timid freshmen kicked off their pumps. “And your stockings,” continued the lengthy leader of the sophomore hosts. The stockings came off, too, and the timid freshmen tried to hide their toes beneath their fresh-men-length skirts. Two long, mysterious rolls of paper were spread out upon the floor, and then came the final order: “Now, dance the tango.” And the freshmen —game representatives of their spunky class —danced. They danced with their bare feet tangled in lengths of tanglefoot fly paper, which had been laid for their dancing floor.

Mrs. Malsonville quavered a bit, but the man was as Bate as a caged rat. The Window had caught him Bquarely and he couldn’t move, *ile had loßt his smile and his hat and acted not ft bit less scared than they felt. "What are you doing here? The police are coming!" For anawer the prowler gaVe a mighty heave to his shoulders and tore out the sash as he tumbled to the ground. The glasß crashed to the stepß of the little veranda with him, but he himself up out of the wreckage and ran through the yard and disappeared down the alley, seem Ingly unhurt.

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

Embodies Several Style Features

THE theater or dinner gown which can be adapted to almost any function,- is a possession to be treasured by women who wish to be well dressed without putting too much time and money into a wardrobe. With separate bodices which are put on over the skirt with little coats and a variety of girdles and corsage flowers, many changes may *be effected in a single gown. This is especially true with a skirt of black satin, rich broadcloth or velvet, with bodice of black and white lace and chiffon, like that shown in the picture. The hip flounce of lace, with heading of fur, may even be taken off; the high,waisted skirt provided with girdle or sash in any color wanted or the corsage flower dispensed with. Just as it stands, the costume is a worthy effort of a French designer, and shows a clever grasp of the leading style features of the season, and a splendid management of them. The skirt, like those in many of the newest creations, does not hang in milch about the feet, and has no train or split. But it clings as it should, to the figure. Small silk covered weights (which come in bands ready for adjustment) with the shaping seams, must be depended upon to compel the graceful hanging of the garment. The hip drapery is natural, and might sag a bit more at the back to express the extreme of the mode. It is of fine white Chantilly, showing a segnty and dainty covering of the surface of net with an outlined pattern. A band of fitch fur—or martin if preferred—outlines it at the top. This decoration is sewed to the skirt in such a way that it may be detach-

VERY HANDSOME HEADDRESS FOR EVENING WEAR

ONE hardly knows whether to call the many elaborate head-dresses designed for evening wear by the name of ‘‘turban’’ or not. They are turbans in reality, but developed in new ways. ' Some of them cfiVer the entire head —most of them do but others leave the crown uncovered and swath themselves about the foreheads They are extravagantly rich and immensely becoming. A modest one so far as fabric and ornamentation are concerned is pictured here. It is of black velvet with rich ornament in passamenterie, having colored heads and gold spangles let in. This is placed across the front and the velvet brought up in folds at each side to the top of the light frame. Here there is the simplest of simulated knots. Above this is poised a very gorgeous butterfly in exactly the position that butterflies never take naturally. We may therefore assume that this is a butterfly of fashion. Natural or not, she is very brilliant and beautiful, with long black antennae of chenille and a curious body of wound braid. „ This head-dress, without the butterfly, makes an entirely suitable turban for street wear. With the butterfly it will pass muster as one of the most up-to-date of new head-dresses designad tor the coming season. If all the

ed. This fur border is an eminently successful touch in. the costume and out of the best features of this season’s styles. Very narrow braid used on the flimsiest of materials make a striking finish. The bodice employs chiffon and lac*> with the long sleeve shown at its best. There is a formation of fine net with the vogue shaping £nd absence of shoulder line characteristic of the present styles. The- lower sleeve is of chiffon gathered in to two rows of fur. The upper part of the bodice is of white lace like that on the skirt, draped fichu fashion over the shoulders, with a very small fichu of chiffon bordered with fur, which finishes the ”V” shaped opening at the neck. The immense velvet poppy which -is posed at the front is in one of the orange yellows which have been developed in new shades so fascinating that everyone is captivated by themT A gold gauze fan and a long black velvet turban trimmed with ribbon and fancy feather finish the toilet. New weaves in fabrics accomplish ever changing hues. Color is restless in them, tints shifting and surfaces show a sort of subdued glitter. With such materials it is possible to use a skirt like that shown here in the picture with a great variety in bodices. /It is as nearly a typical gown as a season of so great variety could offer. It shows the clinging but not scanty skirt, the hip drapery, the employment of lace and chiffon, the fur banding, the long sleeve and undefined shoulder, the broad girdle and tbe big, single corsage flower—all items in the composition of this season’s gowns.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

signs of the times mean anything, this is to be a winter in which the fashionable bead will be clothed with a covering, morning, noon, night and bedtime. The bare-headed fad —never very strong—has passed into oblivion

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

GOOD JOKES

The reason.

His Aunt —Why did your father lick you? Claude —’Cos he’s bigger than I am, I guess.

Too Late.

He waits for Opportunity To knock upon his door; If e’er she does, she’ll prob’bly find Him dead upon the floor.

Made No Difference.

Two women mutually confiding their grouches. One woman, a sweet little soul; the other, a Belf-assertive body. “You can’t think how this high cost of living affects us,” confessed the one. “Why, my bills for clothes alone are more than twice as large this year as they were last year.” “Mercy!” gasped the other. “I don’t see how your husband can afford it!” “That’s the answer—he can’t,” rebutter the first. “But he couldn’t afford it last year. So what’s the difference?” — —— .

Bright Side.

“He always tries to see the bright side.” “What’s happened?” "He was run down by an adtoftifibile yesterday killed, yet the first thing he said when he regained consciousness was, 'Gee whiz! after fifteen years I’ve got a chance to cash in on an accident policy!’”

Logical Results.

“Boss,” complained the famous twirler, “I’m all run down!” “I don’t wonder,” sharply answered the manager of the team. “You’ve been trying to save your arm by pitching without winding up.”

TALKS ALL THE TIME NOW.

Henderson —My little daughter Is two years old and can hardly talk. Henpeck—Don’t get scared. My wife was four years old before she could say a word, and look at her now.

Sure.

The church may get a frequent 'dime. But Satan never hollers; For he knows that moat of the time He gets his toll in dollars.

Sympathetic.

"Did you attend the suffragette meeting, Mrs. Winter ” “Oh, yes, Mrs. Gadson, but I’m afraid I was not en rapport." “I’m so sorry. P was telling Henry only the other day that ’this hot weather is going to make everybody sick."

Those Days Are Over.

“That young Englishman who came over recently showed me a funny sight today." “What was that?” "Showed me a trunkful of glass beads he brought over to trade to the Indians.”

Easy to Believe.

“Statistics sav there are 70,000.000,000 people in the world. Seems incredible, eh?’’ "Not to me. I think I tipped fully that many while on my vacation trip."

Naturally.

"I told the actress that her face was ihade up horribly.” "What did shfe do?” "She changed countenance.”

Every Comfort.

“Sim Waffle certainly runs an enterprising store” “How now?” “Sets out cushioned crates fer the loafers to roose on.”

Singular.

“Here is a rather unusual story of a disaster written by a young newspaper man.” “Why is It unusual?" “He doesn't refer a single time to 'Death's grisly toll.’"

DARKEST AFRICA.

The lovers lingered long. At their feet the noble Zambesi hurried, onward to the sea. It was in Darkest Africa, but they were not afraid of tha dark. “No,” she was cooing, softly bah firmly, "I cannot marry you on any other terms. Papa says I’m worth three yoke of oxen and a tame elephant, and I cannot become your wlf® for any less.” ‘‘All 1 have in the world,” he pro* tested wildly, "is one yoke of oxen.” For a moment no eound was heard save the ripple of the water. She first broke silence. “I think —” Her voice trembled, and her glance was bent shyly upon tho ground. “ —Papa is willing to let me be a sister to you for one yoke of oxen." But he only groaned.—-Puck.

A Painful Reminiscence.

"Yes,” confessed the imprisoned confidence man. "I have had moment* of deep regret. I remember on the occasion of my first arrest—l was barely nineteen years old —” He paused for a moment. “Yes?” put in the good old clergyman, sympathetically. “I was bitterly disappointed to find that not a single newspaper referred to me as ‘young in years but old in crime.’ * —Puck.

ACCOMMODATED HIM.

Prisoner —Judge, I’d like to have a little time to think this over. Magistrate All right. Three months. Next case.

Do Their Own Talking.

Now graphophones are pretty good To have upon one’s shelves, In such lines, be it understood, The goods speak for themselves.

A Good and Valid Reason.

“I wish this fellow wouldn’t send you so many chocolates/' said the other suitor. “Why?” simpered the girl. "Are you jealous?” “No; but I prefer to eat marshmallows.”

Appropriate.

“Dilks is one of those facetious fellows who, Instead of saying he’s had his lunch, invariably says he’s had his ‘beans.’ ” “No matter what he really did eat?” “Yes. And while I hate slang, in a case of this kind I don’t think it would be much of an exaggeration to call Dilks’ head a ‘bean.’ ”

By His Wit No Longer.

“Say, what’s Bill Smithers doing now? Still living by his wit, as he always did, huh?” “Nope. Bil’s made a change for himself and settled down to hard work. Runs the funny column in the Afternoon Squeak.”

Bound to Be.

“I see where a man makes a good living writing obituary notices.” “Uzrph! I dare say he’s a facile liar." “Sure. Otherwise he couldn’t live up to his favorite motto. 1 ", “And what is that?" “ ‘De mortuis nil nisi bonum.’ ”

So Light.

“Miss Gadders,” said the young man, tentatively, “if I should stumble and fall into this lake, would you be alarmed ?” “Oh, no, Mr. Blathers,” answered the young woman, with a yawn. ”Your head would keep afloat."

Matrimonial Amenities.

He (during the quarrel)—Then. b> your own account, I didn’t tell you a single truth before we were married. She —You did one; you said you were unworthy of me.

Impossible.

“Your conduct should always be open with your wife.” "How can I be when she is always shutting me up?’’

The Humorist’s Wife.

"Before 1 submit them to the editors I let my wife read over all the jokes I write,” said the humorist to the ii&uiring friend. “The bad hne r of course, 1 don't send, and thus Bave stamps." "What an odd process! I thought it was settled that woman has no sense of humor. Your wife must be a treasure." “She ,Is. The ones she doesn’t see the point to 1 have a standing contract for from three magazines at $5 apiece.”