Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 240, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 October 1913 — Page 2

OUR OBSOLETE FLEET THAT COST NEARLY $130,000,000

■hips, while all America joined in one grand hurrah for a navy that was admittedly one of the best on the seven seas. The American navy is still among the best, but the ships that were fought by Dewey and by Sampson and by Schley are no longer figured in the line-up that makes the great fleet under command of Rear Admiral Badger one of the most powerful fighting organisations the world has » ever seen. ‘ Every one of the famous ships of 1898 is today officially admitted to be obsolete, and all of them put together would not be as powerful as is the giant superdreadnaught Wyoming, or the Arkansas, or the Florida, or the Utah, any one of which would be a match for all the ships that fought under Dewey and Sampson combined. If such a test should be made. Just a year ago the then secretary of the navy, George von L. Meyer, publicly called attention to the fact that the American navy had more than its full quota of battleships whose day In the first line had passed and the places of which would have to be taken by more modern ships of ■the Wyoming and Florida classes if the United .States was to retain its petition as the world's second naval power. The other day the observation of the ex-naval secretary was recalled by a caval officer In New York, who took pencil and pad and, going back fifteen and twenty and twenty-five years, figured out just what the obsolete ships now adorning the naval lists originally cost the United States government. It was so ridiculously easy, the computation of that total value of famous ships that are ready to die a naval death of old age. The result was astounding, and when at last the navy man wiped his brww and announced the result of that little mathematical feat of his he had proved that the value of those ships, some of them still less than * dozen years old, reached the stupendous total of more than 1100,000,000, or, to be exact, >129,982,814. Of this 8130,000,000 fleet that was, It is interesting. and in a way sad, to note that It includes the Saratoga, the name given Sampson's old flagship New York when her name was taken so that it could be given to the mighty superdreadnaught New York, now nearing completion In the navy yard In Brooklyn: Schley’s flagship, the Brooklyn; the Olympia, from the bridge of which Dewey uttered his famous order to Captain Gridley, "You may fire when ready, Gridley;’* the lowa, that was "Bob" Evans’ ship In 1898; the Indiana, and the Massachusetts, sister ships, which won fame and glory before Santiago, and the Oregon, which won the plaudits of an admiring world by her great run around the Horn, and which In her old age will probably be given the honor of being the first American war vessel to pass through the Panama canal In April of next pear. . Then, of course, there was the old Texas, the ■hip that was commanded b< the beloved Captain Philip, the vessel from the deck of which he offered his prayer of thanksgiving to God when Santiago's battle was ended and the Spanish

IFTEEN years ago George Dewey stood on the bridge of the famous Olympia and won the battle of Manila bay, William T. Sampson from the bridge of the armored cruiser New York directed the operations before Santiago, and the pennant of Winfield Scott Schley fluttered from the masthead of the beautiful three-fun-neled armored cruiser Brooklyn. The world acclaimed the commanders of the squadrons of —which these vessels were the flag-

Fforttersy ships had met their doom —the same ship from which Philip ordered his men not to cheer when the Vizcaya, the Cristobal Colon, the Maria Theresa, the flower of Cervera’s squadron, were burning and sinking down into the grave to which the deadly shots of Sampson’s gunners had consigned them. But the old Texas, which, like the New York, was renamed so that the name of the Lone Star state might adorn that of the new New York’s sister, has long since met her fate. Ripped, riddled and torn by the shells of the newer and more modern ships, to prove the marksmanship of whose men the Texas was destroyed, the -hulk of that old ship—a sister of the Maine that went down in Havana harbor, and which going down hastened the conflict with Spain—still half floats in Chesapeake bay, just enough of her left to provide another marksmanship test for some mighty dreadnaught* of the fleet under Admiral Badger. As went the old Texas, so will go some of the other ships of the fleet that is obsolete. Already the Indiana is mentioned as the nqjtt martyr ship for the Atlantic fleet, and after her the Massachusetts, and then the lowa, and perhaps within a year or two the Kearsarge and the Kentucky, the Alabama, the Illinois, and the Wisconsin, all of them beyond all question or doubt now of the obsolete type of fighting craft. But let’s call the roll of the obsolete fleet, and the flagships shall lead off just as they at Manila and at Santiago: 1. The cruiser Olympia, flagship of Dewey at Manila. 2. The armored cruiser Saratoga, flagship of Sampson at Santiago. 3. The armored cruiser Brooklyn, flagship of Schley at Santiago. 4. The battleship Oregon, Clark’s Immortal around-the-Horn ship. 5. The battleship lowa, "Fighting Bob" Evans* last command as a captain. 6. The battleship Texas, already gone, "Jack" Philip’s old ship. ) 7. The battleship Massachusetts, another famous Santiago memory. » 8. The battleship Indiana, sister ship of the Oregon and Massachusetts, and, like them, one of Santiago's famous contenders. • 9. The battleship Kearsarge, first of superimposed turret ships. 10. The battleship Kentucky, sister ship of the Kearsarge. 11. The battleship Illinois, one of the around-the-world voyage ships 12. The battleship Alabama, also of fleet that went around the wdrld under* Evans* and Thomas and Sperry. 13. The battleship Wisconsin, with the Alabama and Illinois the only battleships of the navy whose twin funnels are arranged in parallel fashion, one to the port and the other to the starboard. 14. The battleship Maine, built In memory of the martyr ship of 1898, and yet a ship that is already *bbsolete and has been missing from the Atlantic fleet for several years. 15. The battleship Missouri, another around-ths-world voyager.

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND. .

16. The battleship Ohio, still In the Atlantic fleet, but slated to leave In the near future jiever to return. 17. The commerce destroyer Columbia, so long missing in the news of the navy that a generation has grown up that knows her not, and she was of the flying squadron of 1898. 18. The commerce destroyer Minneapolis, a speed record breaking cruiser of the late nineties, a sister of the Columbia and, like her, of the flying squadron of 1898. JL9. The jnonltor Amphitrite. 20. The monitor Miantonomah. 21. The monitor Monadnock. 22. The monitor Cheyenne, formerly the Wyoming. 23. The monitor Ozark, formerly the Arkansas. 24. The monitor Tonopah, formerly the Nevada. 25. The monitor Tallahassee, formerly the Florida. 26. The minotor Puritan. 27. The monitor Terror. 28. The monitor Monterey. 29. The protected cruiser St. Louis. 30. The protected cruiser Charleston. 31. The protected cruiser Milwaukee. 32. The protected cruiser Newark. • * 33. The protected cruiser Chicago. 34. The protected cruiser Cincinnati.. 35. The protected cruiser Raleigh, Coghlan's ship at Manila. 36. Twenty-eight torpedo boats. Twenty years ago this fleet of sixty-three ships would have been a match for any naval organization then afloat, with the exception of the fleet of Great Britain. Today all the vessels in it could not last half an hour in a battle with the five dreadnaughts that constitute the great first division of the United States Atlantic fleet. And this mighty fleet of “naval has-beens” cost the United States government more than 8129,000,000 and the oldest among them, not including the old mpnitors, is not yet twenty-five years old. The battleships in it to build and equip cost the government 864,435,225, and the cruisers, monitors and torpedo craft raise the total to the 8129,000,000. What will become of these ships? Some are now in reserve and there they will stay until their end is decided upon. Will that end be the target range or the auction block and the junk pile, or will they be permitted to rust away in navy yards nominally as units in reserve fleets but in reality as useless reminders of a navy that in its day was great but which, owing to marvelous progress in naval construction, has reached quickly but surely that state of obsoleteness from which there can be no "come-back.” The Oregon and the Olympia will probably be retained for generations to come as glorious reminders to Americana of future years of the navy that won immortality in the 'brief conflict that wiped Spain off the map of the western world and which added to American territory an island empire in the far east and won for this country for the first time a full, free recognition by all the nations of the world of the right to be numbered among those powers whose mission and influence is “world wide." In the line-up of the “has been” fleet it will be noted that there is Included the entire fourth division of the great fleet that circumnavigated the globe in 1907 and 1908. This division was made up of the Alabama, the flagship of Sperry when he began the voyage as a division commander; the Kentucky, the Kearsarge apd the Illinois. In that fleet three of the vessels of the third division are now also listed among the obsolete fighters, the ships in question being the Ohio, the Missouri and the Maine, all sister ships and in their day held up to the world as embodying all that was best in the construction and equipment of modern men-of-war of the battleship class. The Atlantic fleet when it sailed out of Hampton Roads in December, 1907, was made up of sixteen first-class battleships, and a look at the make-up of the organization shows that In a period of less than six years seven, or lacking one of exactly half of those famous ships, have been relegated Into the reserve, the first steppingstone that leads to junk pile and oblivion.

LESS FOLIAGE.

"This is a great age." "What has struck you now?" "The fact that so many doctors are successful without whiskers. It wasn't so thirty years ago. -

WIT and HUMOR

IDENTIFIED HIS MAN AT LAST When Asking for Mr. Jones at Jesus College, Oxford, It Is Necessary to Be Quite Explicit It was at Jesus college, Oxford, that one of the most laughable stories connected with that university originated. Jesus college is chiefly patronized by Welshmen. A Cardiff resident, visiting the city for the first tijine, bethought himself that at Jesus college was a young man he knew in the Welsh capital, so he resolved to call on him. Accordingly he tackled the porter of the college. “Is Mr. Jones in?" “Which Mr. Jones?” was the reply. “There are 27 Joneses in thie college.” “Mr. Jones of Cardiff, sir.” - “There are 18 Joneses from Cardiff,” exclaimed the porter, impatiently. “What’s his Christian name?” "David, sir." “There are ten David Joneses from Cardiff here,” answered the official. “You must be more explicit What kind of hair has he?" “Red, sir.” “There are six David Joneses from Cardiff with red hair in Jesus.” said the porter. “What kind of eyes has her “Well, just ’a wee bit of a cast in them,” was the reply. “There are three David Joneses from Cardiff with red hair and with a slight cast in their eyes,” burst from the angry man at the lodge. "Has your Mr. Jones any other peculiarity?” "He’s a bit lame on one foot, sir.” "Now, why didn’t you say so at first? Up stairs, first to the right, second to the left, third to the right again. At No. 18 is the only David Jones from Cardiff with red hair, a slight cast and a lame foot. Why didn’t you say so before?” —Stray Stories.

Minister's Mission.

“That’s a nice looking fellow who’s just come in,” said the young man who was dining with his best girl. “Is he a friend of yours?" “Yes, Indeed, I know him well,” laughed the maiden. , “Shall I ask him to join us?" /■ “Oh, George!" said the girl, blushing, “this is so sudden.” “Sudden? What do you mean?” he asked in surprise. "Why—why, that’s our minister.”

Catty.

"So Jack Harkness has proposed to you ?’’ "Yes. How did you know?" “My fiance told me last night He used Jack’s love for you to give weight to an argument." “An argument about what?" "He was trying to convince me that love is blind.” “The fact that he is your fiancee should have convinced you of that.”

HARD WORLD TO HIT.

He —Fadly has given up his automobiles and caught the airship fever. She —How long do you think he will be bent on going up? He —Oh! until he gets bent coming down.

Going by Authority.

Jim Jackson —No, sah —yo’ don’t ketch dis coon wukkin’ on a rainy day like dis! Squire Hennery (astounded) Rainy? Jim Jackson —Wai, dat’s wot de almanac says, an* dat’s good ’nuff fob me! —Puck.

His Vacation.

"You are convinced that you need a vacation ?’’ "Yes," replied Senator Sorghum. “I’ve got to get away to some place where I enn forget political cares and do some real work.”

A Comparison.

"You say the nobleman your daughter married reminds you of summer fiction.” "Yes,” replied Mr. Cumrox. "It’s a case of a fine title for a mighty uninteresting piece of work.**

CONTRIVANCE OF MANY USES

Peddler Finally ing Proper Temptation In Selling an Improved Rat-Trap. Deddler (opening bag)—“l have here, madam, an improved rattrap, which—” Lady of House —“We are never troubled with rats.” » < “Which can also be .used for cracking nuts —’’ “We never use nuts of any kind.” “Or as a coffee roaster. Adjusted in this manner in—” “We always buy our coffee roasted.” “Just so. Reversing the wires that form the ! upper portion and bringing down the side flap thus, we have a device for holding eggs when cooking —” “We never eat eggs.” “And by folding these wire loops, as you see me doing now, it makes a handy arrangement for holding & mirror—” ’ "Haven’t the slightest use for such< a thing.” “By adjusting another small mirror < in this position, and another at this angle, as you will notice, and placing it in a kitchen window, for example, it has the- curious effect of enabling the observer, seated at one side of the window, and entirely out of sight, to see distinctly through any window that may be opposite, and to note what is going on inside, and all I ask for this most useful and comprehensive invention is seventy-five cents, which is only about one-half—” “I’ll take one.”

CAUSES AND EFFECT.

Harold —I’ve got an—aw—beastly headache this mawning, doncher know. Hattie —What caused it? Harold A howid thought rtwuck me last night.

Equal to the Occasion.

The eminent traveler who was giving an Illustrated lecture threw a pictur%of a celebrated Japanese upon the screen. “This,” he said, “is a portrait of Admiral Togo. I wonder if any little boy or girl in the audience has ever heard of him or can tell me what made him famous." Bobby Shortall raised his hand. "Well, my son?" “He’s the man they named the Salrey Togo trunk after.”

Didn't Know Him.

A drill sergeant was drilling the recruit squad in the use of the rifle. Everything went smoothly until blank cartridges were distributed. The recruits were Instructed to load their pieces and stand at the “ready," and then the sergeant gave the cqmmand: “Fire at will!” Private Lunn was puzzled. He lowered his gun. “Which one Is Will?” he asked.

What the Boss Said.

"What did the boss say when you asked him for a raise In salary?” “He asked me why I thought I ought to have It.” "What did you tell him?" "I told him that I had been twelve years In the same place." “And then?" “He said I ought to be ashamed of myself."

And There Are Others.

“You advertise that you can remove wrinkles.” “Ye-s, but we seldom have men patients." “Oh, I’m not a patient. It’s my wife. Her latest wrinkle is that she would look well In one of these silhouette gowns.” “The only way to cure that wrinkle would be to give her one of them."

His Mind on Insects.

She (hearing her father coming)—• Fly! He (a bit mooney)—Where? I’ll swat It! . She —No, no! I mean flee! He —Oh! Where did It nip you?

True Heroes.

“Who says the age of heroes la over?” "What has aroused your enthusiasm now?” "These men who march In the suffragette parades*.”

Adding the Insult.

“What’s the matter?” demanded theimpatient passenger in the stalled automobile. "It seems to be a case of locomotor ataxlcab, sir,” responded the chauffeur,, with a mirthless laugh.

All Right.

"If you were a minister wodld yott be satisfied to have the men of your congregation come to church without their coater* "Certainly, why not? A man usu-> ally carries his cash in his trouser*.*’