Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 239, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 October 1913 — Page 3

HAPPENINGS IN THE CITIES

Chicago “Owls” Blink at First Broadway Car

CHICAGO. —Chicago’s first Broadway car ran through the loop district the other night, through the La Salle street tunnel, up Clark street, and out Broadway. It was the first evidence of the city’s 567 varieties of new street names.

The car, with no sign save the unwonted "Broadway” displayed, swung around the loop at the alcoholic hour of 11:30, just when the most people wanted a car.

"Say, now, where’d ' that come from?” demanded one night owl of another on the curb, as No. 219 trundled by. "Lived here all my life an* didn’t know we had a Broadway, let alone a car line on it." Nobody could tell him. Down Randolph street rumbled the "Broadway” apparition, and drew up In front of the Lambs* case just as two chorus girls emerged. "Ain’t this luck, Lil!” exclaimed one as they peeled their hobbles just high enough to allow them to reach the step. "The way I remembered it we’d have to beat It two blocks to a car, an* here’s one right at the door. Cal)

Retired? Not So That Anybody Could Notice It

Cincinnati, o. —Not long ago an aged man presented himself at the “new account*’ window of a local bank and asked to have his semi-annual interest entered in his passbook. Recognising him at once, the teller on duty asked: “Are you still retired?” “1 reckon I am, as far as ever I was,” replied the depositor, smiling grimly. The little joke dates back a year or two to the day when the account was opened. Accompanied by his wife on that occasion, the aged farmer from Ohio’s onion belt tendered the teller a roll of banknotes counting up In the thousands.

"How old are you?” asked the clerk, pursuant to the bank's practice of keeping such bits of information on file. “Eighty-six.” ' “Occupation?”

“Farmer.” “Farmer, retired," repeated the teller and began to write It so. “‘Retired,’ nothing!” protested the octogenarian. “If you call working 160 acres of land being retired, then I suppose I’m retired.” The teller made suitable apologies. As It was to be a joint account, the

Cleveland Firemen and Police in Fly-Trap Race

CLEVELAND, 0. —A desire to excel in the manufacture of fly-traps Is responsible for "bad blood” between the police at the Eleventh precinct on East One Hundred and Fifth street, near Euclid, and the firemen at engine house No. 10, next door. Sergeant Cregan, the Thomas Alva Edison of the force, wearied of “shoot Ing flies from his face, or pursuing them with a swatter,*’ designed and built a gigantic fly-trap. This was i placed near the front door, as the transformation of the stable into a garage had eliminated the busy fly from that region. The flies began to buzz around. Charles Trump, the Marconi of, the 'firemen, chanced to see the police trap and went back to the station with an

Whispered Tip to Cop Wakes Up City Employes

PTTSBURGH, PA.—-These are strenuous days for the Coppers-Afrald-of-Thetr-Jobs. What with the wily thieves active and the public claiming the city Is overrun with robbers, pickpockets and other plundering rascals, and Director John H. Dailey after these same coppers until they dream of “shakeups’* and dismissals, the life of a bluecoat or a plain-clothes man la not pleasant. The other afternoon Lieutenant of Police Charles Faulkner and a couple "subs’’ were polishing their buttons in Magistrate Fred Goettman, Jr.’s, courtroom at the North Side pollice station, while the magistrate told ■funny stories and drew cartoons on a pad (the court not being then In session), a wild-eyed ’’taxpayer” rushed in and whispered to the sergeant In charge that "two auspicious negroes ■were skulking In an alley off Arch street, near the High School building.” The tip was given to Lieutenant iFaulkner. Instantly he and the “subs” Igot busy in making a marathon dash yar the scene of action. They found

us at One Hundred and Nineteenth street, conductor.” Serene in their belief that they were headed for home, they settled down for a talk. "W|ll this car take me to Evanston avenue?” inquired a ptecfse individual as he held back his nickel and eyed the conductor suspiciously. "Yes, sir." "But how can a car take mw where I want to go when it runs on a street I never heard of? And I’ve lived on Evanston avenue many years,” All the way out the precise gentleman debated with himself where that car would land him. But there were many voyagers who did not intrust themselves to the pi-ratical-looking craft flying such strange colors. “Say! Where does that thing go?" asked one of these from the curb. “Where do you want to go?" “Evanston avenue.” “Come along—this car’ll'take you.” “Not me. Only got one nickel, an’ no strange car don’t git that” And the cautious one sheered off until he could find a car with a familiar sign. Many, thinking they recognized something familiar about the car or crew or both, came ent into the street, looked doubtfully at the unfamiliar “Broadway," and, looking like victims of misplaced confidence, stepped back to the curb to wait for the genuine blown-in-the-bottle Evanston car. Nothing less would satisfy them.

wife also was questioned as to her ago. "Dp I have to tell?” she asked. “No, not unless you wish.” “Well, ladies are a little basnful about telling their age after they pass thirty.” “Aw, tell the man how old you are, Hannah." The husband seemed disgusted with coyness. < "Well,” the old lady made confession reluctantly, “I ain’t so old as the old man is, but I'm eighty-four.” “And I suppose you are retired, too?” said the smiling teller. “That may be your name for It, but what with the cooking and the housework and the milking and the buttering and all, I manage tv keep kind of busy.”

Idea. The firemen contributed to a fund to build the largest and most lethal fly-trap in existence. It was Installed near the stable, wherein the firemen had an immeasurable * advantage over the police in the matter of flies.

Then, all confidence, Trump challenged Cregan to a fly-catching contest between their respective traps. Because the firemen had the advan tage of the stable, Trump gave Cregan a handicap of 100 flies. For days firemen and policemen watched their traps earnestly. Wagers were made on the result and interest grew to a fever heat. Each side accused the other of catching files by hand and “stuffing” the traps. But, strangely enough, the police trap continued to attract more flies.

' An approximate gave Cregan a lead of possibly 2,000 files and the firefighters were In despair. , A terrible disappointment awaited the police one morning. With the break of dawn Cregan went out to inspect his trap. He sent in a vocal riot call. The flies were gone and a nervous bat was alone in the cage.

the suspects sure enough. Both, how> ever, were reclining on the sidewalk comfortably resting against a brick house, fast asleep tn the broiling sun When yanked to their feet by tns zealous limbs of the law, the darkeys rubbed their eyes and gased in wonderment at the blue coats.

“Whahfah you arrest us, boss?" they asked of Faulkner. “We aln’ bln doin’ nothin* but waitin’ yeah fer de gawbage wagon t* come ’long. We all’s city ’ployes, we is'. We jess—" _***Bout face!” shouted Lieutenant Faulkner to the “subs.” "Forward, march—straight back to the cooler joint We’Ve been fooled again.”

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

SCHENS in the ORIENT

AMERICANS are solely responsible,” said Edgar K. Frank, the globe trotter, the other day, “for the high cost of living encountered by tourists. Especially did; we find this the case in Japan. When Germans and English composed the travelers everything was cheap, and even yet, where tourist* are from any other country, no attempt is made by landlords, shopkeepers, and the rest, to gouge in the matter of prices. But wherever goods are sold, Americans are asked more than anybody else, and they usually pay it. The hotel man, as soon as he discovers you are an American, will ask you $lO a day for a room that is not worth more than $5, and if you argue the matter to a finish you will get the room for $5. Everything else the same way. _ Baked Beans Surprise Britons. "At Penang we became acquainted with the durian, a fruit It Is remarkable, because the more you eat of It the more you want At a delicatessen here we bought American baked beans, and gave the English officers on the vessel an American treat They had never eaten any before. “You may not know that Penang is known the world over for Its tin deposits. Most of our tin comes from there. Both at Penang and at Kuala Lumpur, the capital of the district, are smelters for tin.

“Our next stop was Singapore, known as the Gateway of the East It is one of the most important and interesting of the eastern cities. It is the distributing and collecting point, not only for the Malay peninsula, but for Indo-China and Dutch Indies. "It was at a hotel here that we learned what ‘bathroom attached’ means In an advertisement. We read the advertisement, went to the hotel, and looked in vain for the bathroom. Upon Inquiry we were shown an Immense yard, or courtway, reached by crossing a bridge from the hotel proper, where bathrooms were lined up in a row, and numbered to correspond with the numbers of the rooms.

"The Chinese practicaly own the town. They are the wealthy part of the place and live like millionaires, own autos and have every other comfort Singapore is but one and one-half degrees (80 miles) north of the equator. Java is only 40 hours’ ride from Singapore, but faulty boat connections prevented us from going there. "Did you ever hear of the traveler’s tree? We saw a lot of them around Singapore. They grow probably ten feet high, the branching palm-like limbs spreading out Jike a fan. By tearing off a branch the thirsty wayfarer gets from a glass to a quart of water.

“Our next landing place was Hongkong. The real name of the port is Victoria, and it Is a free treaty one—no customs regulations to be gone through with. "All through China you will find Hindu policemen. There are Chinese police, too, but everywhere the peculiarly dressed Hindu seems to be on [the force. At the time of the mutiny It was discovered that the Hindu was a man who could take care of himself In a scrimmage, and city management has seemed to recognize his worth as an officer"of the peace. The Chinese are good people also in business, honest, polite, quick calculators—superior to any other orientals we met on our travels. Manila Now Healthful.

"Much has been written about Manila, the Pearl of the Orient, and without participating In the political problem of what the United States gpvernment should now do with our possessions there, I cannot refrain from saying that our people have wrought a wonderful Improvement on the Islands. They have cleaned them up. They ate now comparatively healthful. All who come from eastern countries are vaccinated before they are permitted to land, so that smallpox Is rare and typhoid Is practically unknown. There is sewerage, good schools, a better moral tone —In fact no comparison can be made with the old regime. “Like all other Americans, we went to Clark's, where Americans gather, and here we saw the first soda water sign that had met our eyes in months of travel. We have made good roads there, and there is now plenty of ice, a plant for the making of artificial ice having been put up by our government. We mooned on the Luneta, Manila’s wonderful parkway, and visited thd new Y. M. C. A. building. A Mr. Tener, cousin of Governor Tener of Pennsylvania, Is in charge. The build* Ing cost over |IOO,OOO. . "No one who has not been there can have any conception of the interesting

GOVERNOR'S PALACE

old city, with Its moss-covered walls, its age-defying and beautiful shrines and innumerable objects of rare historic value that abound on all hands. Manila bay, made famous in America by the brave Dewey, was already the' most important seaport of the Orient, lying midway between the newly opening territories of North China and the thickly populated possessions of England in India. The Bataan mountains loom on the left as you pass up the bay, forming a gigantic barrier between the bay and the sea, and to the left is Cavite, the haval town. Here was given Dewey’s famous order, ‘You may fire when you are ready, Gridley,’ which for all time shattered the hopes of Spain for Oriental power, and with the sinking of her warships a rule of more than 300 years passed away. “Continuing up the bay, Manila is brought into; closer view. The first view from the boat is charming. .It looks a tree-embowered city, the: subdued colors contrasting with the vivid green of a luxuriant tropical foliage. Today it is a city of contrasts. It is a city of the east, yet the younger find more vigorous west has made great changes in the quietness and drowsiness of the old place. The Pasig river divides the city into the north and south sides. On the south bank are the old walled city districts and on the north are the Escolta, the main business artery. The junction of the Escolta and the Bridge of Spain is the actual center of the business section, and at this point cars may be taken for nearly every part of the city and suburbs.

“Manila is a city of churches, the oldest having been built by the Order of St. Augustin in 1571. On the Plaza McKinley is the Ayuntamiento, which contains the offices of our government. To the Lvneta In the early evening all Manila gotes. With two bands playing, people of all ages and countries and garbs stroll under the brilliant electric lights. The most important item commercially is the manufacture of cigars. About 20,000 people actually live on the river. On the road to 1-a Loma is the great Bilibid penitentiary, supposed to shelter a large number of convicts than any other prison in the world. Fort William McKinley, seven miles from Manila on the Pasig river, Is the largest post of the United States army."

BOUGHT HOME WITH BERRIES

Maine Woman Has Been Picking and Peddling for the Last Twenty'Three Years. Paying for a home by picking wild berries Is the feat performed by Mrs. Seth Davis wf Skowhegan, who for the last 23 years has been engaged in this* industry.', Her major berry Is the raspberry, and she averages about fifteen bushels of these in a year. She picks about eight bushels of the field strawberries in the year and many bushels of wild blackberries. Besides picking these she peddles them out in Showhegan. She now owns a fine larm and she remarked that she had paid for it by picking berries. She not only picks berries, but she assists her husband in many ways about the farm. In the winter time she will take a load of wood with a pair of horses, go to Showhegan and find a market for It, unloading It herself. Mrs. Davis is one of the most frequent patrons of the public library, but she believes that life is worth more to her by outdoor air and work than It could be otherwise.—Lewiston (Me.) Journal.

“The business man who runs bis office as the average woman does her kitchen work soon finds himself not only left behind, but his mentality has become so Idealistic that when he finally does wake up to things, he finds it next to Impossible to adapt himself to the new order. "You wqmen must use your minds in your work. Use it to short-cut your steps; use it to Increase the quality and decrease the effort Above all, get away from that pernicious idea that ‘kitchen work is drudgery.’ So is ofIce work, if a man allows it to work on him, Instead of working It. “The more I see of that type of women who are so fond of posing as martyrs and calling themselves ’drudges* the more I am convinced that such women are 'too small for their job.’ In order to get the best of anything, you must not only fill your position but 'fill it and running over.’ Then It 1s that you can ’chase your work, instead of letting it chase you.* **

Brains and Housework.

Gathered Smiles

HER SPOTTED DEAR. Two young ladies were examining the animals at the zoo last Sunday. “Oh, what a beautiful spotted deer!" The other woman bowed her head and wept. ' ’ "Why, what is the matter with you?” “You don’t know how it hurts my feelings to have you talk about spotted deer. I once had a spotted dear.” "You had?” “Yes; my dear was a tram-car conductor, and we were going to get married, but the company spotted him, and my dear had to-resign his position, and ever since I have had to cry whenever I hear anybody talking about a spotted deer."

A Dark Hint.

Somebody was talking to a newlymarried couple who were spending their honeymoon at Scarborough. “You must not leave Scarborough till you’ve seen the cemetery,” he sa,id; “it’s well worth a visit!” They said they would go, but they forgot about it until too late. Then the young wife reproached her husband. “George,” she said, "you haven’t taken me to the cemetery yet.” “Well, dear," was the reply, “that Is a pleasure I must defer until some time in the future." —Pearson’s.

"The Plot of the Show."

Jones —Well, Smithy, how did you like the show last night? Smith —Oh, fair. Jones —What was the plot? Smith-*-Don’t know. Think it was between the author and the manager to get two dollars out of the audience.—Life.

AS EXPLAINED.

Jack —He made his money in automobiles and football. Orme —He doesn’t look like a sporting man. z uack —No; he’s a doctor.

After Vacation.

The dame was rather willowy Before she went away. , The salt air made her pillowy; Gained forty pounds, they say.

Sounds Like It.

“Jim Jones since he went to college indulges in such sesquidalian language.” “Dear me! What a depraved young man he must be!”

Our Langwidge.

“I am inclined to let Jones down easy,” said the boss. “Why?" asked the manager. “Because he Is hard up," replied the boss.

Gentleman Farmer.

"I hear Wombat is a gentleman farmer now." » "Right up to the notch, too. ,Puts evening dress on all his scarecrows every day at dusk.”

Breaking the News.

"I hear you are going to retire from politics,” said the ward worker. “I haven’t said any such thing,” replied the man with an office. “I know you haven’t. 1 heard it from the boss of our organization."

Right Up In Front

“That fellow’s always in the spotlight.” "What’s he done now?” “Haven’t you heard? He’s a personal friend of an Insidious lobbyist"

Quite True.

"Love may have its drawbacks, but it has one big advantage over most of the good things of life.” "What is that?” “One can keep it and return it at the same time.”

Unpromising,

“Mr. Green’s youngest son,” said Mrs. Twlckembury, “hasn’t done a stroke of work for six months. Just living on his father! I’m afraid he's going to be nothing but a parricide.”— Christian Register.

Dangerous.

"What is the charge?” asked the Judge, as the venerable person with the side whiskers was brought forward. your honor. We found him on the Rialto, singing *1 Want to Be an Angel.’ ’’—Puck.

Appropriate.

Flubdub —What are you going to call your new play? Scribbler —“The Wicked Flee.” Flubdub—l suppose you’ll try it on the dog? •

THE IDEA.

Blinks —He’s a prety good boat builder, but he’s very slow. Jinks —Slow, eh? Blinks —Well, I should say. If he had had the Job of building the Ark we wouldn’t have had the flood yet.

Fishing Facts.

The rainbow trout, I And, are wary; They scorn my bait inviting. I wish the "skeeters” were as chary of biting. *

Putting Him to the Test.

Deacon Woolerton (sneerlngly)—l s’pose yo’ t’lnk it’s de Lard’s will fo’ yo’ to leave dis charge an* take de one wid de biggah salary! Parson Shouter —Look ’ere, B*rer Woolerton, es one man offers yo’ $lO fo’ dat mule, an’ anodder offers yo* S2O, would dere be any question in you* mind which offer it wuz de Lord’s will fo’ yo’ to accept?—Puck.

Sanctum Amenities.

Rivers (frowning over a page of his manuscript)—Say, I don’t want to use that old expression, “he was on needles and pins.” Give me some synonym for it. Brooks (with a piercing glance)— Synonym for "needles and pins?" You must think I’m what they call • word shgrp!

As the Styles Change.

"Isn’t It funny how the literary styles change? For instance, suppose Artemus Ward could come back. Just about where do you reckon he’d break Into the game again?” “Well, to be honest with yon, I’d like to have a taste bf Artemus trying his hand at some of the sport-page poetry."

Sure Loss.

Mrs. Johnson —Jes’ hide -youab money In a Bible, Mis’ Jackson. Nobody. evah looks In a Bible, you know. Mrs. Jackson (with a gasp)—Oh Lawd! I’d loset it shuah! Mah ole man’s very religious, an’ reads de Bible twice a day.—Puck.

Wisdom.

“This is a foolish world,” remarked the Cheerful Idiot. “What’s the matter now?” asked the Boob. “Why, we spend half our Ilves trying to save time and the other half trying to kill time,” replied the Cheerful Idiot

Not So New.

"What’s this osteopathy?" "It Is a new practice and consists es the manipulation of bones.” "New nothing! I saw that In the end of minstrel shows years ago.”

Her Nature.

"The dove of peace has. to be a diplomat.” "Why?” “Doesn’t she manage 'everything with a coup?"

PAT AND THE FROGS.

Nimrod —Did you ever catch frogs, Pat? Pat—Faith, 01 did .sir. Nimrod —What did you bait with? Pat—Begorry, Oi bate ’em with • sthick.

Short Steps.

Mary had a little gown— A hobble, says the rhyme. And everywhere that Mary went Took quite a lengthy time.

Future Butter fly.

Mrs. Gadsby—How are you spending your vacation? Mrs. Grubb—Sewing for Mrs. Modest Mrs. Gadsby—Oh, my dearl Mrs. Grubb—l have to have the money. I’m sending my husband abroad this year.—Judge.