Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 238, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 October 1913 — Her Unappreciated! Efforts [ARTICLE]

Her Unappreciated! Efforts

“Men,” said Mrs. Wittance emphatically, “haven’t the remotest idea of economy! They are naturally extravagant!” Wittance snapped at the bait like a terrier at a rat. “There you go!” he cried. “With one of your offhand judgments that have no sensible foundation! Rank nonsense! I have just as good an idea of economy as you have]" “You may have the idea,” said Mrs. Wittance, with the crushing sweetness that is the privilege of wives, “but you have it tied up in pink ribbons and laid away in your safe if you have! That’s all the-good it does you!” Wittance began to turn purple and clinch the chair arms. “Just specify!” he insisted. “Just name one example —you can’t do it!” ‘T can,” insisted Mrs. Wittance. “Any time you feel like hearing me run off a list of several dozen perfectly good examples, and I have the time, don’t hesitate to ask me to oblige you, because being agreeable is about the best thing I do.

“For instance,” she went on, “a few minutes ago you made the remark that you must remember to buy yourself a new straw hat. You never stopped to wonder whether or not you had a straw hat left from last summer which would do to start out the season, did you? “Now, a woman’s first instinct when she needs anything Is to wonder whether or not she has something laid away that would do, and so would save her from making a fresh purchase. What is past is past to a man, whether It is his last summer’s clothes or a presidential election. Now, as it happens, you bought a new straw hat just a few weeks 'before the season closed last year, and it is all right to wear. It may be necessary to have it cleaned —” “There you are!” cried Wittance. “Do you think I’m going to travel downtown with a hat in a paper bag and waste good time hunting up a cleaner’s and meantime lose a customer or so? That’s a woman’s idea of economy, all right!” “If you’re so fussy,” said Mrs. Wittance, “I’ll clean it for you myself. I can do it perfectly well with some acid. I used to do it when I wore sailor hats myself.” Wittance groaned. “It’ll look homemade,” he complained, “Something on the order of knitted wristlets and mitts! I don’t like the idea!”

“You leave it to me!” said Mrs. Wittance sternly. ‘‘lf you are so anxious to get rid of $5 just hand it over to me!” So Mrs. Wittance scrubbed last summer’s hat with acid. She was rather in a hurry because she wanted to get to a club meeting, and so she did not remove the band before she scrubbed it. She left it to dry with the consciousness of a deed well done, but when she got home she found tcF ’ her horror that the black band was all splotched ’with dull orange where the acid had touched it Wittance’s arrival was simultaneous with hei;B, so he, too, saw the tragedy. “I hope,” he said severely, "that you now see the folly of trying to do the work of a professional who knows what he is about! I shall buy a new hat, for I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this thing!” "You’ll do nothing of the sort!” declared his wife. “There ie my economy theory demonstrated again! I can buy a new carded ribbon for 50 cents or less and sew it on just like this one. Don’t be so silly!” Mrs. Wittance was determined to prove that she was sensible. So she went downtown the next day to buy the ribbon. When she got it sewed on she found it was a shade narrower than the old one, but the black was sufficient to display a little line of satin, black and orange, on the straw. / Wittance refused to argue the matter. “I will not wear that hat!” he stormed. “I shall buy a new one!” “Nobody can see that little mark,” persisted Mrs. Wittance. “You are extravagant, that’s what you are!” She laid the hat tenderly away in its box and put it on the shelf in the coat closet downstairs.

The next day Wlttance paid |5 for a new hat and when he arrived home that afternoon and saw the box he jerked it down and grabbed out the old straw hat In a desperate fury. Tenderly depositing the new one In the box, for he is a neat man and dislikes dust, Wlttance jammed the old straw Into the ash can and raked ashes over It to bide IL The next day the temperature had fallen 40 degrees and it was early for straw hats, anyhow, so Wlttance wore his derby when he went downtown. , Mrs. Wlttance had a resigned and Injured expression at dinner that night “You made such a fuss over that straw hat I cleaned and fixed up for you,” she Informed him, “that I gave J it away today. The collector for charity clothes called and I handed the box over to him —so you needn’t be troubled by It any longer. You didn’t seem to appreciate my trying to save money—so the hat is gone.” “I should say it is gone!” yelled Wlttance.