Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 230, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 September 1913 — The ONLOOKER [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The ONLOOKER

by HENRY HOWLAND

KICKS

Hear the kicks! Hear the people making kicks. Heavy kicks, ■ Sorry kicks; . One would think the poor old world was in a most unhappy fix; Men are kicking at the weather, they are kicking at the price That they have to pay for fuel, that they have to’pay for ice; ' They are kicking at the way; This and that Is done today. They are kicking at conditions as they loom up everywhere; They have kicks to make because Rascals disobey the laws. One would think that crime was rampant and that woe was In the air! Hear them kicking, kicking, kicking, oh the wild and woeful kicks, . <•' And the kicks concern religion, ■clence, art and politics; * There are kicks from those who work. There are kicks from those who shirk. All the world, it seems, is keeping busy registering kteks. Making kicks, kicks, kicks, Keeping up the dally average of kicks, kicks, kicks, kicks, kicks, kicks, kicks. n. Do the everlasting kicks Indicate a smash-up? Nix!. The world would quit revolving if we didn’t have the kicks From the men who wield the picks And the ones who lay the bricks. And the ones who wear the Jewels, and the ones who sing and write; Never since the world began Has a'point been won toy man Unless he kicked to get it, and did BO with all his might! ’TIs a pleasing thing to mix Gladness in among our kicks When we may; But, with gladness or without. We may never hope to rout The legions filled with kickers—they’ll bo here till Judgment Day— They'll be here to make their kicks Till there’s ice' upon the Styx, Till the last grave undertaker " the last coffin-cover clicks— But a lot of us are kicking with no causo for making kicks. Without the slightest reason for our kicks, kicks, kicks, And never helping any with our kicks, kinks, kicks, kicks, kicks, kicks, kicks.

Revenge is sweet, but alas, it is gen* erally for the other fellow. It would be difficult to make some people believe champagne might taste just as good under any other name. When a man is sued for breach of promise he is likely to find that an old love letter is worth much more than the paper it is written on. The man who is afraid to exceed the speed limit never can be a hero to his own chauffeur. A woman begins by sighing: "I can’t go because I have nothing to wear.” Then she gets clothes and (rets because she has no chance to wear them. > Before they are married he deems every hour lost that he cannot spend in her company. Afterward when she goes to visit her parents for a month or two he figures that it is just so much clear gain.

MERE OPINION.