Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 169, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 July 1913 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Once more “Is it hot enough for you?” is a chestnut. Changing seats in the boat begins Its usual summer harvest Philadelphia may be a sleepy town, but its ball teams play between naps. S *' - Somebody Is hoarding buffalo nickels, for one is rarely seen in circular tion. Physicians never prescribe the rest cute for merchants who do not advertise. The mikado of Japan has recovered, although he had eight doctors in attendance. ™ ' ~ The open season for fish stories is on, and it Is reported there is an enormouß supply. If airboats become as popular as automobiles it may be necessary to roof the streets. ~ Was there ever a verdict of which so many persons said: “Just exactly what I expected?" Now that warm weather is here we can listen to our neighbors’ pianos. We can’t help it. One charm of a long fishing trip is that the fisherman gets a chance to -let his whiskers grow. No doubt the generous baseball fans are willing to give their share of the rains to the farmers. A German doctor was fined for calling a telephone girl a camel. Camel must sound terrible in German. It’s a fact for which we can’t be ' too thankful that not every year does the frost antedate the pumpkin. In spite of all the free notices we 1 don’t know even yet what brand of soap “September Morn” advertises. f Our notion of a truly superior person is the boy scout, who actually looks down upon a college graduate! If you want to change seats in the boat, and you don’t know much about handling a boat, beach the boat first. Judging by the feats of the Philadelphia baseball players, some other fleams could use a supply of somnambulists. The number of times the will can be broken by dlshatisfled relatives is in direct proportion to the amount of the estate. r ; 0 For the majority of symptoms of physical disorders now in evidence, we suggest the blanket diagnosis “vacationltis.” The designer of the Lincoln penny has Just been married, but a worse fate should be devised for The designer of the buffalo nickel. ’ Not only did a young French aviator fly 938 miles from Paris to Warsaw in thirteen hours, but he lives to tell the tale Scientists say the world is not revolving as fast as it used to do, but the man who has a note coming due in the bank doesn’t believe it. A Pennsylvania woman one hundred years old has never worn a hat. Yet on that account her husband owns neither an automobile nor a bank. This being a wide world, there are plenty of places for the newlyweds to see. China is to establish an aviation scnool. The new republic is determined to have all the latest trimmings of up-to-date civilization. The bishop who advised a das* of young ministers not to be in any hurry to get married doubtless knew the sewing circle would attend to that. Look out for another boost in the price of kerosene. It has been found ~ that this useful fluid is highly efficacious in exterminating grasshoppers. Possibly, their unswerving faith In a future reward accounts for the fact that, according to statistics, the average salary of ministers of the gospel Is 8600 a year. That society woman who advises the girls to wear trousers as a relief from tight skirts has no suspicion that some of them would wear tight trousers. If some people would think before they speak they would have mighty little to say. Noblemen in Paris when sent to prison for forgery declared that they considered swindling to be sport. Ab- - surd! How much more civilized to mob an umpire! „ That Chicago' woman who asks permission to wear trousers might have loss trouble getting it if she would promise not to be photographed In them first thing.