Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 168, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 July 1913 — Page 2

HER SACRED DUTY

It Was to Teach a Pompous Young Man a Merited ‘ Lesson. By GRACE KERRIGAN. __ They said of Bruce Charlton, son of •the banker at Maysville, that he was a pompous cold-blooded young man. IHe had finished at college and been •given a place in the bank. It was said of him that when a •ewer blew up as he was walking •along the street one day,~and he was lifted thirty feet high, that he descended with proper dignity, and did not even lose his grip on his cane. “What a tyrant of a husband he’d •be!’’ said one young lady. “No wife would dare call him by his •first name!” said another. “He’d demand that she address him «s Mr. Bruce Charlton, Esq!” was the criticism of the third. They said of Miss Inez Barton, the daughter of a broker in the city, that she was too flighty ; that she was too impetuous; that her quick temper would drive away all her lovers, and that she. would in time find herself old maid. None of the critics hit the nail on the head in either case. Mr. Charlton had passed a final examination, fallen into an extra fine position, and had been complimented on being a smart young man in several directions. It was therefore natural that his bead was swelled a bit, and that his good opinion of himself should be shown in his attitude towards others. In only one thing was he weak. » After a month’s stay in London he came home to say “cawn’t,” and “doncher knaw,” and “Jolly well” and other things affected by the Johnnies across the big water. He imagined it smacked of “foreign culchure,” and to clinch his case he brought back with him an English bulldog so homely that he scared a mule into fits the first day he landed. That was all-—Just one weak spot, and no one called him a cad on account of it. “Foreign culchure” is like whitewash on a fence —it begins to peel and flake after a few days. Every morning from eight until nine young Mr. Charlton mounted his steed and had a gallop. It was not an English steed, but the rider affected the English pose in the saddle, and his bulldog followed at his heels and maintained the proper expression of countenance. When Miss Inez Barton came down to "Meadow Green” to pass a month with a married Bister she brought nothing English. She had her American pony and her American saddle and coach dog sent down to her. Every morning from eight until nine she went for a gallop. Mr. Charlton rode towards “Green Meadows” in his gallops. Miss Inez rode towards Maysville in her gallops. It was inevitable as taxes that they must meet They did meet, and on the very first morning that she rode out. She caught sight of the young man and mused to herself: “Why, I didn’t know that bean-poles rode horses out in the country!” As Mr. Charlton always looked straight* ahead when he rode, he, of course, caught sight of the girl at an early moment. He also mused: “B’gawgae, but I can’t make it out, ye knaw!” If he had stopped and raised his cap and asked Miss Inez if phe could tell him where the widow Jdnes lived it is probable that she would have smiled one of her winsome smiles and flirted a bit, but he passed her like a wooden man. Her dog wanted to say something to his canine, but the bull growled and never broke his pace. As both were returning homewards they passed again.’ “He’s a fool!” said the girl ta herself. “I pawn’t—l really cawn’t!” said the young man to himßelf. “Say,” said the girl to her sister, after the latter had posted her as to who “bean-pole” was and his social standing,- “I feel that I’ve a sacred duty to perform out here.” “Yes?” “It’s to take young Mr. Charlton down about 14 pegs.” “But how can you?” “I don’t know yet, but I’ll find a way.” She didn’t have to plan ’til her head ached. Her coach dog did the planning. The English bulldog had noticed him by a growl. He felt the humiliation. He didn’t want to be snubbed, either. He gave the matter due consideration that evening, and when he started out next morning he had something in view. “Bean-pole” appeared. There was a poker down his back, and his eyes looked at the landscape a mile ahead. His bulldog appeared, and he was plastered all over with dignity, but her dog did. He waited ’til the other had passed by and then folloVed up and nipped him on the hind leg. You can’t nip a bulldog and get away with It. This one turned and seized the coach dog and shook him as .|f he had been a rat, and then tossed him high in the air. Miss Inez uttered one scream and was off her pony and lash lng the bull with her whip. “Aw! Aw! B’Jove!” It was Mr. Charlton. He had heard the rpw and retained. “Aw! Aw!” mimicked the girl at she looked up at him, s's take it that there was a conflict, doncher knaw?” . “There was. doncher see!” “TUpvr me!” •B>ve!” Mr. Charlton had forgotten to lift

his cap. He now lifted it. He had forgotten to remove the monacle from his eye. He now removed it. He had forgotten to dismount. He now dismounted.., “I beg your pardon, I am suah,” he said after a moment of embarrassing silence. “It’s grawnted, sir!” She led her horse into the roadside flitch and mounted from the bank. He wanted to offer his assistance, but did not dare. He was a picture of confusion and foolishness as she tossed her head and rode away. He started to “B’jove!” but changed it to: “Well, what do you think of that?” He was English no longer. He had become a full-blooded American in about ten minutes. If there was any doubt about it his talk with his dog after the girl's departure would have settled the matter. “You fool of a dog, but you see what you have done!” he shouted at the canine who came fawning around to get a word of praise. “There was a mighty good-looking girl, and you had to go and bite her dog and give her a chance to make a fool of me! You ought to have your head knocked off!” “Well, did you take anybody down a peg o? two this morning?” asked the sister as Miss Inez reached her home after her ride. “A dozen pegs, sister. You just ought to have been there! Monacle — saddle —eyes front —bulldog—b’jove— doncher knaw —beg pawdon—aw—aw! Oh, it was great! ” “And what did you do?” “I out-Englished him. His dog licked Jack, but he can’t do it again.” “I hope you didn’t give him the idea that yon were bold.” “I gave him the idea that he was in America, I guess!" That afternoon the brother-in-law went to town and bought a dog collar full of sharp spikes, and next morning before the ride the canine’s hair was rubbed full of ckyenne papper. When ready to ride away the girl said to him: f , “You are going to meet that bulldog again this morning, and if you don’t lick him I’ll sell you for a cent!” Young Mr. Charlton had been humiliated and felt it keenly, but down in heart he admitted to himself that he had not only what he deserved. When a man will look at things in this light there is hope for him. It was at first decided not to go that road again until the girl had gone home. Then it was decided that if he did ride that way he would make an apology for his dog. Then the decision was to leave the “b’jove business behind him. As a matter of fact, when Mr. Charlton did ride out he was entirely undecided. As for Miss Inez, she left it all to the dog. There was a meeting again. The coach dog was ready for it. Without “begging pawdon” of any one he went for that bull. He downed him. He bit him. He mopped the earth with him. He made it a rough house over ten rods of highway. “I will call off my dog,” said the young man as the riders came up and halted. * “I’m afraid you can’t!” laughed the owner of Jack. “I guess I’ll have to call mine off!” “I —I wish to apologize for yesterday.” “Not at all, doncher knaw!” I have arrived in the United States since yesterday!” “Going to take out your naturalization papers and become fine nf us?” “I surely am. I’ll sell that bulldog this very day!” “Yes?” , ' “And as for doncher knaw—” ‘’Then you may introduce yourself.” “Well, how did things come out tn'r. time?” asked the sister as Miss Inez entered the house with a laugh. “Why, I think the patient is on the way to a perfect cure, and if he doesn’t have a relapse there may be a wedding in due time.” And there was! (Copyright, 1913. bv the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.!

REALLY NO PROBLEM AT ALL

Solemn-Faced Stranger Saw at a Glance Just Which Trees Were ' Farthest Apart. “Do you see that handsome row of tall poplars on the Canadian Bhore, standing apparently at equal distances apart?” aßked a melancholy-looking man of a group of passengers on the Fort Erie ferry boat at Buffalo. The group nodded assent. “Well, there’s quite a story connected with those -trees,” he continued. “Some years ago there lived in a house in Buffalo, overlooking the river, a very wealthy banker, whose only daughter was beloved by a young surveyor. The old man was inclined to question the professional skill of young rod-and-level, and to put him to the test he directed him to set out on the Dominion shore a row of trees no two of which should be any farther apart than any other two. “The trial proved the lover’B inefficiency, anl forthwith he was forbidden the house, and in despair he drowned hinteelf in the river. Perhaps some of you gentlemen with keen eyes can tell which two trees are farthest apart.” ‘ The group took a critical view of the situation, and each member selected a different pair of trees. Finally, after much discussion, an appeal was made to the solemn-faced stranger to solve the problem. % » “The first and the lgst,” said he, calmly, resuming his cigar and walking off with thg air of a sage* T -

Its Extent.

“Muggs is a mean employer, isn’t he?” “He’s so mean that he hates even his desk calendar to take a day off."

AMERICAN'S STRANGEST CITIZENS

WE of thlß vast America are fortunate in that by ordinary travel, without changing the flag and even without changing cars, we may fit our scenery and our people almost to our passing desires. We may substitute coast for prairie, mountains for plaihs, wilderness for city, desert for valley, palms for pines, summer for winter, cloud land for sea level, virtually at the whim of the moment. And lo! what a range of type from the ghettos of New York and Chicago to the French of Louisiana, the Mexicans of the southwest, the mountaineers of Tennessee, the negroes of Georgia, the Dutch of Pennsylvania, the Chinese of the coast, the Indians of the reservation! Half-reclining along the ruined wall surrounding the ancient pueblo of Taos, N. M., I thought upon these things, while before me weaved the busy daily life of this strange people —a life, unaltered like their mystical speech, through the centuries. Independent, careless of the recently-ac-quired statehood in which as citizens they were entitled to take pride, they pursued their even, picturesque ways, writes E. L. Labin in the Los Angelos Times. For this pueblo of Taos is the rival, in its. clannishness, of the far-famed Zuni, and in its type is more (perfect than Zuni. Its twain casas grandee, or great houses, the domiciles of the 500 people, rise in six and five terraces or stories, respectively, and are the best examples intact of the curious pyramidal construction. Virtually as described by the Spanish of Coronado’s expedition in 1540; the “Braba” of the natives, the “Valladolid” of Captain Alvarado, the “Taos” of modern date, stand these two casas grandee; and their dark-skinned fold tread the same routine. The pueblo was old in Captain Alvarado’s time, and is built beside the ruins of still a previous pueblo. What place in Europe can show a life of longer duration, and unchanged? Decidedly Moorish. In common with other pueblos—and there are many of them throughout New Mexico and Arizona —the Taos buildings are entered from the ground by means of ladders, which lead to the first terraces. Formerly the ground floor of the pyramids presented only blank walls, windowless and doorless, and the ladders and entrance through the ceilings constituted the sole means of incoming and forthgoing. But in these peaceful days there are doors and windows, and the ladders, instead of being drawn up for the night, remain in place night and day. ' The tiniest tots, and even,, the dogs, are expert in ascending and descending their rounds. ' From terrace to terrace are other ladders, and in places are merely crooked boughs—they and the adobe threshold worn smooth and deep bygenerations of moccasined feet. There 1b something decidedly Moorish in these terraced, castellated walls, joined by ladders; the windows paneless and narrow and thick of casement; the figures passing up and down, squatting in the sun, or carrying buckets of water upon their heads, and shrouded in many hued shawls, and white-booted. For this is the pueblo garb: Shawls, black, red, gray, for the women; and blankets, shawl-like, for the men; so that one must look to the feet to designate the sexes. The men wear the moccasin and the leggins; but the women wear a soft bootee, extending above the knee, of the whitest, finest doeskin. There is something Moorish, and decidedly foreign, in the gentle chatty murmur of the Taos tongue, as men, women and children moye hither and thither. This is the official language of the pueblo—the Taos dialect. Jealously guarded, confided bo rarely to strangers, far separated. But Taos is somewhat polyglot; it speaks Indian, it speaks Spanish, and it speaks, to n degree, English. Many of the boys are Bent to the school at Santa Fe, where they learn English and where they don coats and trousers. How-

ever, after their return po their own people they are given scant grace of two weeks by the elders, when they must resume shirt and blanket and moccasins and Taos speech or leave the pueblo grounds. Of dun adobe are the two stately edifices of the pueblo, one upon either side of the Taos creek, which flows sparkling and cold out from the snows of the sacred Taos mountain'to the northeast. The hundreds of rooms with which the piles are honeycombed are whitewashed with the native gypsum, low-ceillnged, cool in summer, warm in winter, ventilated by the deep casements which are closed by only wooden shutters. The furnishings are of the simplest—a bench-like platform, over which is stretched cowhide, for the bed, a corner fireplace as a stove, perhaps a stool. Connected with the living-rooms are the private storerooms or granaries, with their hoards of wheat, squash, red, white, and blue corn, and peppers. Graiif Trodden Out. The wheat has been trodden out, in fashion of Palestine, by cattle driven around and around over it; it has been winnowed by pouring it from vessel to vessel, that the wind might blow away the chaff; and it will be ground into meal by being grated between stoneß. The bread, in flat cakes, will be baked in conical cement ovens, of which a line, for common use, stands in front of each pueblo building. And in the beginning this grain was sown by hand and harvested ny the cradle and sickle. Here in Taos pueblo are perhaps the only stocks used today in America. Relics of old Mexican days, they are kept in the pueblo Jail, for tribal offenders who deserve more than simple confinement. For Taos makes Its own laws and deals its own punishments. It is a unity, like any other American town —strange though, as a town, it be. Its charter dates back to August, 1556, when by grant of the Spanish crown it became suzerain over a Spanish square extending a league in all directions from the site of the old church tower. By virtue of this charter and of possession it is recognized as a separate town and its populace as American citizens —the strangest citizens which the republic owns. Citizens who Vote not, save in their own annual elections for governor of the pueblo; who have no flag except the yellowed aspen boughs of their festival dances; who speak a language without a mate to it; who marry not and give not in marriage, outside their town limits; whose faith is-the faith unaltered of 500 years, knowing not church nor preacher, but pinned indefinitely to the son of Montezuma for whom every morn at sunrise a whiterobed sentinel watches from the rooftop. Through spring and summer the pueblo works in its fields. The United States department of agriculture furnishes an agricultural agent, who lives upon the grounds by Buffrance of the pueblo and teaches the Taosans how best to farm. But after the crops are harvested, then Taos plays, in a succession of feasts and dances which lasts throughout the fall and winter. The first festival is that of San Geronimo day, on September 30, when ostensibly in honor of the patron saint. Saint Jerome, young and old hold an all-day celebration, giving thanks for the harvest season.

Clock That Needs No Winding.

Two Austrian watchmakers have built a clock which receives its motive power from a current of air blowing upon a turbine-shaped wheel. The clock is so simply built that the current of air produced by a stove or kitchen range 1b sufficient to make it go. The air is brought to the clock by a pipe fixed upon the wall. A very strong current is reduced by a certain clever contrivance which regulates the speed of the works.

Brave Monarch’s Mistake.

Henry of Navarre told them to follow his plume. “It isn’t as conspicuous as an early straw hat.” they grumbled. *•

SCIENCE NOTES

9 ' The food value of the cucumber is very low. Illinoiß leads in the amount of internal revenue receipts. Of 100,OOu classified accidents, 29,726 were travel accidents* The new Bword of the United States army has a blade 37% inches long. There is a demand among the farmers for a small power-propelled plow. There are 391,350 government positions under civil service regulations in this country. The first all-electric steel works in Great Britain are about to be established at Sheffield. Several piers 1,000 feel in length will be constructed at the Atlantic end of the Panama Canal. The Kaiser recently awarded a prize of SIO,OOO for an improved motor for the purposes of aviation. Acetylene lamp posts are self-con-tained and may be moved from point to point, wherever desired. A tack hammer has been tnvented which is claimed to prevent a tack being driven in any but the right way. The amount of ore handled at the ports of the great lakes is in the neighborhood of 45,000,000 net tons annually, A real circulating library moving around Washington county, Maryland, consists of a bookcase and books mounted on an automobile.

POINTED PARAGRAPHS

Even some old settlers never settle. Success comes to a few of us in spite of ourselves. —* . Giving unsolicited advice, hf one way of borrowing trouble. 1 Some men are used to being called liars and don’t mind it. Too many people want to monkey with other folks’ buzz saws. After the trial a wise person learns not to talk back to the judge. ’> Even a big man can’t always insult a little man and get away with it. When we all break into the high brow class who is going to do the drudgery? The man with a good aim in life and an empty gun may have an artistic temperament. Experience is said to be the best teacher, yet there are men who marry three or four times. After a young man has burned the candle at both ends for a while he may develop cpld feet. When a woman wills she will—unless she says she will, then the chances are that she won’t. If the price of ham goes much higher the open season for the ham sandwich might as well be closed. If you would do something of real benefit for humanity, perfect the typewriter instead of wasting your time on perpetual motion.

SOME POSTSCRIPTS

Tokyo at the end of last year claimed a population of 2,099,181, a gain of more than 102,000 in a year. An electric sterilizer to be mounted on an ordinary water faucet has . been patented by an Oregon inventor. A hydroplane built in Belgium of steel instead of wood is said to have attained a speed of 45 miles an hour. The flreless cooker originated in Norway and first was brought to public attention at the Paris exposition of 1867. If placed end to end the matches used in the United States in a day would extend more than around the world. Switzerland exported 15,000,009 pounds of chocolate last year, a gain of more than 2,000,000 poundß in a year. Powerful electric lights have been Installed around New York’s most famous prison to prevent possible escapes. Sixteen states have no special institutions for the jnsane, while nine states have no insane institutions of any kind.

A FEW DEFINITIONS.

Plagiarist—One who writes with a steel pen. S mmmm Proposal—A short sentence that generally leads to a long one. iL Civil Service —What you don’t get in many hotels if you fail to tip. Pipe of Peace —Not the kind husbands generally smoke in the houas.

QSjoStti mm HOWLAND j rdimeTin^k rfliiff* I iiHT' « - M *•' - teaa '" .• ' i?;.v.:-.-a •j. I — —a--—-- • - - **»* *. V.*.-?!-J. • v’.•.*•/ | L The little people gossip In the grass; The tender nestlings bravely try thetri wings; The world Is getting rich with growing) things, The breezes murmur sweetly where theyi pass; The bride tries on her wreath before hen glass; Again the lark at heaven’s entrance! sings, The daring tads are tumbling out of! swings, The plain girl takes the honors of her! class. ; i The lambs begin to gambol on the lea. The billy goat with gleeful ardor bucks ;j The pup Impatiently snaps at the flea, The speckled hen leads brood) and clucks. Too proud of her achievement yet to see) That she has hatched a family of) ducks. n. The aviators tumble from the sky. The thrush's sweetest notes are betngi trilled; On country barns the circuses are! billed. The babe Is wakened by the huckster’s) cry; From roller coasters, rickety and high. Low-browed young men and merry! malus are spilled; An auto-racer, here and there, Is killed; And pretty bathers keep their stockings • dry. The fool who hears the warning word In vain Proceeds again to swim too far from shore; The flowers are ail abloom upon the plain. The man who rocks the boat rocks as of yo»e; On many a thumb there Is a jamlike stain Where presently there will be stains no more.

Jumping at a Conclusion.

"Doctor, do you think it will be necessary for me to undergo an' operation?” “I do, decidedly.” “How much will it cost?” "How much do you think you ought to pay?” 1 “Very little. I’d be worth more to my family if I were dead.” “Well, who said this operation waa going to keep you from dying?"

Domestic Repartee.

“The trouble with you is that you keep constantly forgetting that you ever were a boy.” It was his wife who said it, and he, of course, came right back with tho witty reply: "Well, you never forget that you were once a girl, although everybody else forgot it years and years ago.”

ELATED.

“My wife has Just consented to burn the letters I wrote her before we were married.”

On Finding.

The man who is content to taka things as he finds them at length begins to want other people to go out and find them for him.

Changed Frequently.

“Was that your husband? He seems to have changed a great-deal in the past five years.” "Yes, three times.”

Just a Hint.

“I try to cultivate an even temper." “I see that you do; but don’t you think you are trying to cultivate it in too high a key?”

Another Trouble.

The trouble with most men is that they want to be at bat all the tim« and are never willing to do any field lag. ■

Economical.

The man who successfully keeps hl» own counsel is not likely to have U pay heavy fees to lawyers

“Evidently the market has been going your way.” “No, I never speculate.” “What is it. then? You seem to be particularly cheerful.”