Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 165, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 July 1913 — One Egg Full Meal For Family of Six [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

One Egg Full Meal For Family of Six

Phineas Whackerstnger’s Three Feet Tall Hens Give Thrss Pound Fruit In Great Notch, N. J.

From the clqaely guarded hot louses and steam-ueatsd and air-cooi-*d henneries of Pldneae Whackerfinger, the Great Notch (N. J.) Burlank, the astounding report has percolated that by next season Mr. Whackersinger will put on the market sure-enough white Brahma eggs is big as eggplants, and each one capable of supplying -a square meal tor a family of six. Phineas Whackersinger, Jr., told in rtrictest confidence to a girl friend of Ids who Is a chum of a girl friend of the writer, "that before all the violets is plucked Pop” (meaning the tarental Whackersinger) ‘fie going to tout the egg market wide open and reduce the cost of living to a state where folks won’t have to think no nore about what they’re going to eat Chan what air they're going to treatbe.” . Young Mr. Whackeiwinger said that ils father had raised a pair of three-toot-tail white Brahma hens and one forty-inch Brahma rooster. These brahmas have not got their full frowth, and will not have reached ‘he laying age for several months. Expects Three-Pound Eggs. When they do attain maturity the 3reat Notch Burbank looks for twopound or even three-pound eggs, with »very hen laying three to five eggs a lay. Furthermore and moreover It is iverred that Wizard Whackersinger will be able to feed and nourish his treat hens at a cost not greater than (wo cents a day per hen, and that »ven this small cost will be offset when he breaks these hens to harness tnd compels them to haul their own >ggs to market Hugo Pebbles, the Great Notch sank tender, who Is a master-gatherer if countryside gossip, was questioned n regard to the reports of the seemingly miraculous feat of Phineas Whackersinger. Mr. Pebbles said:

"Don’t you go to buildin’m high topes on them three-foot hens of P. Whackerslnger. He raised a tenpound turnip (meet that took three prizes at the country fair, but when that turnip was dressed down an’ rooked It boiled away to the size of a radish. I don’t know what he done to them Brahmas to rear ’em up three feet, but I reckon it warnt nothin’ uitural. Reeater Made Them. Work. M My cousin, Joel Pebbles, climbed ap on a tree longside the Whackerringer place last night an’ looked town into that hennery with a pair o’ tight glasses. He seen them threeloot hens all right, but they warn’t actin’ usual hens. One of ’em had a pall an* the other one had a lantern in’ they was goln’ around lookin’ for light-crawlers. The rooster was itandln’ off to one side givln’ ’em orlers. When they’d got that pall full •* worms they carries it to the rooster. Instead o* thankin’ ’em that big loafer of a rooster cussed ’em out for bein’ too slow an’ then et up all the worm hlsself. "My cousin, Joel Pebbles, may take t nip o’.applejack now an’ then, but

BMdjr he's a truthful an. If what ha says la true, them three-foot ban ain't never goto' to lay op to Phlneaa Wbaokersinger's expectations. If ha gats one egg a month from them hens ha« be lucks an* If he wants to hatob

out that eggs he'll have to get a trained nurse to assist in the hatchin’ process, for that-rooster ain’t got the strength to go ’round rustling grub for him. Never Saw the Egg’s Inside, i "Old Jim Notter, Newt Notter*s grandfather, used to tell about a relative of hls’n that raised a pair of three-foot leghorns during the Mexican War. It didn’t cost a cent a day to feed that pair o’ giant pullets. They’d eat anything from sense rails to wagon wheels. They’d eat bark off trees an’ knobs off of doors. They was shot at an’ stabbed by neighbors, but their hide was tougher’n brass. “They laid one egg between ’em, that pair of giant hens, but what was Inside that egg warn’t never discovered. No axe could break it an’ no fire could burn it Two blacksmiths went Into declines tryin* to smash -a hole in it Finally It was turned ever to the Government to use in the war. Old Jim Notter says it was shot out of a special-built mortar an’ killed eighty Mexicans. All o’ which convinces me that P. Whackersinger is goin’ to get more notoriety nor benefit out o’ them three-foot Brahmas.’’ Wizard Whackersinger positively refused to comment on his new breed of Brahmas.