Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 153, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 June 1913 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

A crying baby is simply developing its longs. On some of tbe tight skirts one 3. R. O. sign should be hung. '„y .1 , , - Anyway, the grandmothers of ‘the office boys have thus far not died in rsin. There would be fewer failures could baseball enthusiasm be carried into business. Germany is trying to take the tang out of the tango by sending those who dance it to prison. Joy-riding is one of the things that ought to be done soberly—which, man* ifestly, is impossible. The housemaids having organized, the “copper" will now exchange the back porch for the parlor. It is always interesting at this time of the year to find out in how many new places the old garden hose leaks. The painted gown is the latest fashion from Paris, is to be hoped It is not intended to match the face. At that, no one ever has attempted to describe a girl riding on the aft seat of a motorcycle as particularly charming. t It begins to look as if the time had arrived when no elopement can be considered complete with out a press agent' A Chicago girl lost two of her teeth in biting a footpad who tried to rob her. Beyond question he was a tough. The prudent Englishman now looks under his chair before sitting down to dinner, and under his bed before going to sleep. According to a college professor, baseball is a nerve irritant Still, the home team can't be expected to win always. Now there is to be an astronomical trust. If poetical justice is dealt out to it the dew combination ought to see stars. i The new British ambassador is a baseball fan, which is certainly better than devotion to the tennis court or even golfing. Broadway, says an intrepid woman explorer, is more in need of missionaries than darkest Africa. And yet it has its angels. Orville Wright says aviating is just as safe as motoring. Which assuredly goes a long way toward bolstering up our motoring nerve. A New Jersey school is to teach the • art of milking cows. The pretty girl so doing is to become a fair fact in life as well as in song. At last all hazy notions of the value of a Missouri husband and a Missouri mule have been swept aside. A Missouri woman has traded the one for the other. Chicago policemen view with peculiar approval the organization of the housemaids’ union in that city and the subsequent grant of the use of the front parlor. / A Pennsylvania husband of ninety was sent to jail recently for not supporting his wife. It is terrible the way these youngsters will disregard their responsibilities. “Blit skirts” have been forbidden in Los Angeles schools, the old fogy authorities having an idea that their pupils should improve their understandings by other methods. f ' They want to know who first used the slang term, “I should worry?” When they find him they should not be too rough. Many a man if allowed to live learns to repent. Some word is required to denote the place where the aviator keeps his machine, and “hangar" is objected to as Btralned. Why not "nest" or “roost,” as befits the tribe of aves? It is said that there are enough telephone wti'es in this country to make 60 lines to the moon. But who wants to talk to the map in the moon, when he can talk to Venus over a local wire? Countless mothers throughout the country will refuse to accept the report that the perfect baby has been found on tbe lower East side, New York. They know their baby has never been there. We had supposed that the fly's character had been painted about ns black as it could be, but now a physician indicts the fly as a carrier of Infant paralysis. Of what use is a fly anyway? young man in New York who pleads that be is so absent-minded that when he married a young womaqf recently be quite forgot that he'iiitfl another wife living will doubtless I 'be relegated to an institution where seclusion and quiet furnish the best treatment for such Joss of memory. 'lit- Jufaft *Sii