Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 148, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 June 1913 — STILL AMONG THE LIVE ONES [ARTICLE]

STILL AMONG THE LIVE ONES

Woman’s Fear That Husband Had Departed This Life Proved Altogether Unfounded. “I beg your padon, if 1 disturb you, sir,” she said to the keeper of the morgue, “but my husband has been gone two days, and I fear that he may have been killed on the street and brought here.” "Husband missing, eh?” queried the official. “We may have him in her. What sort of a looking man was he?” “A short, thick-set man, sir, with side whiskers and two front teeth gone,” “Um. Side whiskers, eh? Two front teeth gone? Was he a man likely to get in front of a cable car’” “He was, sir. If he thought the car meant to bluff him, he’d stand on the track until he was run over.” “How was he on dodging hacks?” "He never dodged one in his life. He used to carry half a dozen rocks tied up in a handkerchief, and the hackman who tried ,to run him down got his head knocked off.” ’’Been gone two days, eh?” "Two days and a night, sir. and you don’t know how worried 1 am.” "Yes, I suppose so,” absently replied the man. "I wish I could say he was here, and thus relieve your anxiety.” "Then he isn’t here?” "No’m—not unless he shaved toss

those side whiskers and went to a dentist before he was brought in. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we are just out of short, thick-set men with side whiskers. One may be brought in any hour, however.” “If not here then, he is still alive?” suggested the woman, as the look of anxiety left her face. “I should so infer, ma’am —should so infer. In fact, ma’am, lam quite sure your husband is alive and well.” "Thanks, sir—thanks! You haven’t seen him?” “I have, ma’am. Less than half an hour ago he asked me to drink with him in that saloon over there, and from this window you can now see him standing up to the bar, side whiskers and all.”—— “Thank heaven, and I will, go over arid take him by the neck, and — and —” “Glad to be of service to you, ma'am. If I had a short, thick-set man with side whiskers and two front teeth out on a slab inside, I would admit you with pleasure, but as I haven’t, you’ll have to take up with the live one over there, and make the best of it. Good day, ma’am. Call again if you happen this way, and 1 may be in better luck.” —Philadelphia Record. *