Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 141, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 June 1913 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Loafing as a steady Job seems to be Inculcated by this brand of weather. It Is time to teach Towser that all really fashionable dogs wear muzzles. You will have to do your own swatting. The regular fly cops have other duties. Here’s hoping the home team can let all the gooee eggs remain in cold storage. While swatting the fly *tls well to remember to cover the sugar and butter bowls. , !. . ' In the National league they are passing the pennant hopes around for general inspection. Monte Carlo is reported to have cleared nearly $40,000,000 last year. 80, what’s the use?

One complicated way of being unhappy is envying the man who has to worry about the income tax. New Jersey has barred the sharptipped hatpin. Thus it will be no joke, even if the cops see the point. To the mind of the rough neck, there’s no doubt that there is more than one simp in simplified spelling. Yes, he’s in again. The pest appeared in our office yesterday with that eternal question, ’lb it hot—** That Chicago man whose goat chewed up his 41,000 wad, should feel at least, that there is money in goats. That young woman who plays the piano with her feet mußt be able to put her whole sole into her selections. The man who tries to hide behind a woman’s skirts in this year of grace must be thinner than his own yellow streak. A large number of our American girls have married rich men, only to find that they have poor husbands on their hands. Automobiles have been with use for fifteen years. What means of joy riding will be provided for use fifteen years hence? ' ■ „■ .- • *' ■ There is no sense in littering the streets in sthe fond expectation that the school children will clean them up some time. It has frequently been said that the wife is the better half, but assuredly, hubby clasps the honor when the baseball season opens. Newest skirts for women have pockets in them just like a man’s. Well, anyway, they will never contain plugs of chewing tobacco. .: “Shot at sunrise’’ continues a popular pastime in Mexico, but there’s lots of regular fellows who are half shot long before midnight

Are the high steps on street cars an argument against hobble skirts or are hobble skirts an argument against the high steps on street carat Virginia young man drove two miles before discovering that his best girl had fallen out of the buggy. Maybe he was driving with a rein in each hand. Anyway those women whose babies do not win a prize at a baby show, have the satisfaction of entertaining a distinct opinion about the judges. And now Chicago is censoring the modern song—and properly so, per haps. Anyhow, they can’t censor a whistle. Some one has told us that a girl with painted cheeks is like a stale glass of beer —nice to look upon but very disagreeable to the taste. If the neighbors keep feather minstrels in their poultry yards you will find no difficulty in waking up early every morning about daybreak. In France lately the top fell off of a mountain, destroying gardens and orchards. This seems very careless. They should have better land laws.

•Tls no wonder that Paris is regarded as a city of high flyers. It is reported there are nearly a thousand registered aviators living within its confines. Dr. Josiah Oldfield of London is of the opinion that those incapable of falling in love should be drowned. But then there are those who fall in and swim out This country consumes >37,000,000 worth of breakfast food annually, and yet some people kick at the idea of putting wood pulp on the free list. The largest courthouse in the world Is being built down in New York, and it would be difficult to think of a place where it is needed more. **Come, live in my heart., and pay no rent." warbled the inspired poet Mors easily arranged, we dare say, than meeting the monthly install jnents of the bungalow. «