Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 138, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 June 1913 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

As a usual thing, a knock doesn’t make a hit Time to begin to save up for that summer vacation. Is it woman’s dress that needs reform or the theory of dress? All the dandelion asks is a bare chance. It doesn't need any eneouragement In the bright lexicon of modern youth there is "no such word like unto "kale.” Still, you cannot Induce automobtlists to admire that fable of the tortoise and the hare. With the best of onions at three cents a pound will there be enough calf’s liver to go around? Funny none of these lunch counter proprietors have ever hit upon the Tdea of serving hasty pudding. Minnesota has a man who traveled S7O miles without clothes, but that was carrying dress reform too far.

If irate golfers slew every distracting dog that crossed the green, one would truly say they never sausage links. Capture of that aeroplane destined for use in the Mexioan war doubtless saved the life of at least one aviator. Doctor Friedmann’s use, of turtle serum has as yet produced no perceptible effect upon the terrapin market. Time for the kids to be displaying that two fingered sign \yhich inevitably leads to a plunge into the river. When we lose a shirt in a Chinese laundry we can readily understand why so many of these Celestials are named Li. A Paris court decided that singing Is not a cause for divorce. Yet it is ttonceded that in many cases it is intolerable cruelty. • According to breezes from Broadway. the proper form of salutation twixt darkness and daylight is not “so long” but “oolong.” Thief steals silver buckled shoe from New York girl’s foot while she was jammed in a subway train. Why, certainly, a footpad.

The city noiseless is going to have trouble with the citizen or citizenesa who insists that he or she does hot end never did snore. Steak and up-to-date eggs are two requisites demanded by the housemaids’ union. The employers may yet have housemaid’s knee. Still another British lord is to marry a beautiful and clever actress It looks as if the British stage would yet prevent the nobility from dying of ennuL Cold storage, a Philadelphia orrator explains, has kept butter and eggs reasonable prices the past winter. What does he consider reasonable, anyhow? One kind of a male flirt is the man who puts an extra nickel in the telephone box because he mistook “cenIral’s” politeness for response to his ’’kidding.” Corsets to reform fallen women, Is declared a necessity by a Chicago woman. As a matter of fact, corsets ire supposed to re-form all those who wear them CverybQdy will agree with Doctor r Osier that twenty-four hours is enough of a day for ajiy man. The government expert says breadmaking is easy. But bread that is easily made may be deuced hard to eat, all the same.

A ffactioji company lowered' car steps for the benefit of tight-skirted women. In exchange they should face right wav in alighting •‘Russian barbers average $4,000 a year In their business." Judging by the pictures of the merry populace in Russian scenes. there»must be about two of them. “One Who Knows" assures us “It’s a dry moon.” “Old Farmer.” on the contrary, says it Is a wet moon. Of these two evils, you don’t have to choose either. A veteran of the Mexican war in California wants to get married No wonder this is such a great country with so much young blood keeping up with the times. Flow to get rid of old tin cans is a big municipal problem, says an exchange. Must be a scarcity of either small boys or dogs. A "vocational analyst" says millionaires give too late in life. ‘He might have found that to be one reason why some of them are millionaires. A doctor says talking less and listening more keeps one young and good looking. Probably explains why some wives look so much older than their tnisbands.