Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 133, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 June 1913 — Page 2

HAPPENINGS IN THE CITIES

Conductor finds $5,000; Gets 50 Cents Reward

Baltimore, Md.—Fifty cents -was the reward given to a conductor of the local street railway company for the recovery of a package containing |550 In cash and $4,000 In certified checks. When Andrew Anderson, a conductor on the Ellicott City line, found a carefully wrapped package lying on one of the seats of his car when nearing the barn he had nd* idea that in the parcel there was so much money and negotiable checks. “Here’s a package I found on the car." he shouted, as he tossed the package to the dispatcher. “Someone probably will claim it" Someone did claim it Just thirty minutes later a man rushed into the car barn and excitedly asked if a package had been found on one of the ears. —• “What sort of a package? Describe it,” said the- dispatcher. “Well, it was wrapped In paper and

Humans Are Made Crabs by Side-Seated Cars

CLEVELAND, O. Thin, anaemic men who are unable to do a day’s work, and frail little women attain a record for muscular exertion which retold not be surpassed by the strongest athlete every time that they ride in a side-seated street car, according to computations made by Councilman E. M. Bieder. They are compelled to push against a force of probably half a ton every time they make a trip upon one of these cars, he declares. Councilman Bieder has been making an investigation of the subject, with a view to legislating out of existence cars with seats running lengthwise. He doubts, though, that the council has the authority to pass the legislation, and he may take the matter up with the board of health as a health regulation. “Man is not a crab and cannot move sidewise with any degree of ease,” said Mr. Bieder the other day. “His muscles are not formed for that mode of advance. Let anyone who is in doubt on this subject try to run sideways for a hundred yards at a fair rate of speed. “The forward movement of a street car, with its sudden stoppage and jerks, is a constant strain, and mus-

Turns in fire Alarm and Races Cop on Wheel

DETROIT, MlCH.—Francis Sheahan, four-year-old son of Col. P. J. Sheahan, attorney, merely wanted, to see the engines dash up the street when he turned in a false alarm the other afternoon from Second avenue and High street. Pedaling up the street oh velocipede, Francis came to a halt in front of a red-painted post surmounted by a small box of the same bright hue. The box presented possibilities to his young mind and he set about devising ways and means for calling the fire department to the scene. He could not reach the glass. Obtaining a small stick, be smote the pane and shattered it. This done, he mounted to the saddle

Refuse to Be Clothed in Flowing Garments

CHICAGO.— The enthusiasm of a few score husbands for the proposed "fete champetre” of the New Future association exploded with a loud bang the other day, when the husbands discovered what a “fete champetre" was. As a result, the big event, scheduled for June 20 in the First Regiment armory, has \ been called off. Mrs. Fred L. Rossbach, founder and president of the association, which aims to aid women released from the house of correction, and the other directors spent weeks on arrangements and found their husbands eager In their promises of assistance. But at the directors* meeting at the Hotel La Salle one of the women rose and told a sad story. It appears that her husband, who is not built along the lines of a gazelle, thought finally to ask what was going on. He was told the peculiar feature Of the fete would be the costumes. AH meh and women were to wear the .flowing draperies of the ancient Greeks. ■ '' , “Me!” shouted the startled hustand “Me impersonate Apollo? No.

about this long,” said the much-per-turbed inquirer, as he used his hands to describe the size dnd width of the package. “Is this the package,” asked the dispatcher, as' he displayed the one that Anderson had found. “Yes—-that’s it. I’m so glad it was found.” replied the visitor as hft reached for it “Well, you will have to tell me what It contains in order that I can be certain that it belongs to you," replied the dispatcher. “It had $5,000 in it—l mean $550 in cash and the balance in checks,” said the visitor. The dispatcher opened the package and found that it contained just what the stranger had stated. The man then said that he was W. B. Denison and that he lived In West Lafayette avenue. As the package was handed to Dennison, he tossed the dispatcher 50 cents, and said: “Give that to the conductor for his honesty.” Dennison then left. An hour later Anderson returned on his car to the barn. The dispatcher summoned him and told him what the package had contained; and that It bad been claimed, and gave him the reward. “By Jove,” shouted the conductor. “Thank you for the

cles which are not adapted to it are compelled to take up the burden of holding the body more or less rigid against the force which sways one rearward as the car advances and forward as the car is checked. To sway the body backward or forward from the hips entails practically no fatigue, for almost every movement of the accompanied by this, but to sway sideways is tiring in the extreme.

“When a street car traveling ten miles an hour is brought to a stop the checked velocity is equal to a pressure of ten pounds upon the area of the surface of every passenger, or when a car traveling at an ordinary rate of speed comes to a stop it is equal to every passenger being pushed from his balance by a ten-pound w light’’

of his velocipede and hooked his forefinger in the iron ring. The rest happened automatically. The wheels of the velocipede started in motion and Francis’ whole weight Was thrown on the chain attached to the alarm.

Frightened at what he had done, Francis again mounted his trusty iron steed and started to run for it, going down the street as fast as his little legs could woitk the pedals. He had not gone half a block; however, before the fire engines, a motorcycle patrolman and the motor car patrol rushed into the street with a roar, and he was pointed out as the culprit by a crowd of boys which had collected and witnessed the proceedings.

Francis’ puny efforts to put a distance between himself and the scene of his little escapade were as naught compared to the power of gasoline in a motorcycle. He was quickly captured and taken home to his father.

History does not relate what haj> pened before the Interview concluded, but it is said the family slipper was used in the traditional manner.

you don’t, woman. I don’t mind the new future, but I’m dinged if I*ll dress like a shepherd in a Greek pasture Not—on —your —life. I’m still strong for your cause, but I don’t like that effect I’ll give thousands for the new future, but not one cent for any such insult to my unfortunate physique as that" And then It developed that there were other fat husbands and several thin ones who had also asserted the Independence of their sex and refused to have anything to do with the program.

In spite of the extensive arrangements already made there was noth* Ing for the women to do except tq drop the plan.

Will Be Popular for the Hot Days of Summer

An airy creation for the warm days of summer is made of soft white hemp braid, white and black maline, and trimmed with black beads and numich in black. The requisite touch of strong color appears in a bow of twisted velvet in deep orange placed at the front. Any of the new vivid colors look equally well,* as cerise, Chinese green, sapphire blue, bright red, etc. The hat is made on a wire frame. A wide band of hemp is laid over the brim and extends into the head size, thus covering the wider brim. The crown is a puff of white maline in several thicknesses, covered with

BRASS ORNAMENTS THE RAGE

Seemingly Cannot Be Too Much of Such Ornamentation In the Modern Homes of the Wealthy.

So strong an allure have brasses that it is small wonder that more and more are they to be found in homes of every degree of prosperity. Any woman who can afford to is certain to keep her choicest blankets in a brassbound cedar chest. These boxes are roomy affairs, and the amount of stuff which they hold is amazing. No library'or living room is complete without a four-sectioned, revolving book rack of plain hammered or filigree brass, no entrance hall as it should be without its censer of hand-wrought Damascus brass, and no upper hall properly Equipped lacking an Incense burner of the same metal. For the desk there are tiny clocks having two inch dials, very clearly numbered; calendar frames, round and oblong pin and pen trays, memorandum pads and bottles of liquids of hammered or etched brass, and for the dining room there are sconces, candelabra, candlesticks, coffee services, loving cups and finger bowls of the beaten metal.

Brass and copper combined comes in various useful articles of most attractive appearance. A very handsome type of ferff dish is of brass in basketwoven style, with copper-bound sides, and another is of brass, bound and adorned with copper spikes. Most fascinating are the chafing dishes of copper and with brass handles and standards and the shiny little copper tea kettles surmounting brass lamps for alcohol.

New Cushions.

In one of the newer hotels of New York city there is a reception room furnished in old blue. Some of the chairs of white are fitted with removable flat cushions, made without an upright strip—just flat padded envel-ope-like cushions. They are of blue, of course. They are held to the backs of the chairs by blue silk tasseled cords. The effect is pleasing and can be copied by the woman who is fitting up wicker chairs for summer service. Cotton cord of an appropriate color can be bought by the yard, cut into proper lengths and finished with two-toned cotton tassels.

Colored Embroidery.

Colored embroidery of conventional figures marks some of the most Interesting white crepe morning or afternoon dresses. This embroidery should be done in two or three colors only, and should be done in heavy cottone The design might consist of conventionalized roses applied as a border design at intervals of two Inches at; the bottom of the skirt or tunic, around the neck and sleeves, and utilised in some way to form the front closing of ’ the bodice. The stems should bo worked in a bright, soft green, the roses In pink, red, yellow or sagise, . T' j

black mdline in two thicknesses. At the joining of the brim and crown there is a ruche of plaited black maline and a strand of composition beads that have no weight, to reckon with. Numlch is elegant and durable; it is also very fashionable. This is a very pretty model which the home milliner may hope to put together successfully. To vary the design flowers may be used in place of the beads and feather, in which case, if they are bright in color, the velvet bow is to be black or in a harmonizing color.

JULIA BOTTOMLEY.

TAILOR-MADE DRESS

A tailor-made dress of tan tissue trimmed with black satin, pleated lace collar gnd cuffs.

On Thin Goods.

If you have trouble in making buttonholes in thin material, here is a way of overcoming the difficulty. Hold a piece of the material on the under side and cut the hole through this as though it were part of the waist When the buttonhole is finished, cut away the under cloth very carefully so that it will not show. There will be no difficulty, even with chiffon, if the doti| is folded two or three times.

Perfumed Cap.

Many of the newest little boudoir caps have an interlining of silk padded with bits of cotton in which sachet is The cap perfumes milady's trasses, leaving a subtle fragrance that is considered desirable again since the afajp pls coiffure has reterasd.

No Longer Interesting.

He had been set upon by thugs as be stepped from the ferry boat It was his first visit In New York, and tor a few moments It looked as If his first visit would be his last. But presently he staggered along the street and met a policeman. “What’s wrong, my friend?” the bind officer inquired.. “I’ve been robbed of all my money,* stammered the victtlm. “All your money. Look again.” "It’s no use. I ain’t got a dollar.” Whereupon the policeman burst Into tears and walked away.

Room at the Top.

Once upon a time there was a man who went a-courting, and he courted a widow. And the widow thought well of him, but behold! she refused to accept a second chance. “But why will you not marry me?” persisted the suitor. “I love my first poor dear husband from the bottom of my heart,” wept the widow. “But," persisted the man, “ain’t there always room at the top?”

Flatness.

“Do you believe that story about the New Jersey hen that laid flat eggs?" asked the man who was leaving the restaurant. "No,” replied the cashier. “The hen never laid ’em that way. They may have tasted a little flat from being kept so long in storage.”

Good Guessing.

"The blind friend whom I took to the opera, remarked that it was not a very fashionable audience present” “How could he tell that?” “He noticed nobody was talking during the solos.”

NO CAUSE FOR COMPLAINT.

Dinks—l went fishing yesterday. Winks —Have any luck? Dinka —Sure; I didn’t get drowned or lose any of my bait.

An Invisible Belle.

“Who la the belle tonight?” asked she, As they stood on the ball-room floor, He looked around the room- to seer And she speaks to him no more. —Cape Cod Item.

Oversight.

*Tm afraid the woman suffragists are Impracticable Idealists, after all.” “Why?” "When they gave a parade they tried to make it a thing of beauty instead of arming themselves as a hatpin brigade.”

Revising the Declaration.

"All men were created equal, were they not?” asked Mr. Meekton. “Equal among themselves,” v replied his wife, “but as between themselves and us, distinctly Inferior.”

Touching Music.

Miss Yallerby—But Percy Moltingham kin play de mos’ intoxicatin’ an’ heabenly music on his banjo. 'Oh, my!” Clarence Coonley (sneeringly)— Huh! I guess ragtime am about dat nlggah’s limit! Miss Yallerby (warmly)—’Tis, eh? Yo’ jes ought ter heah dat man gib an Imertatlon ob a spring chicken asizzlin’ on de pan er a hungry pickaninny eatin’ a watehmillyun! Talk about yo' real music! —Puck.

Should Work That Way.

“What’s the matter?" “Oh, I feel down and out. Reading about these different diseases in the almanac gives me all the symptoms.” “Following the same reasoning, reading about the different medicines ought to make you feel well.”

Recruits.

Jlgson—Hear you have had an addition to your family. Nugson—Yes, two. Jlgson—Twins? Nugson—No—a baby boy and my wife’s, mother.—Tit-Bits.

A Contortionist.

"What is your notion of an ideal statesman?” “An ideal statesman, in my opinion,*’ replied Senator Sorghum, “is a man who knows howrto keep his ear to the ground without lying down on his job.”

Guess Work.

“Don’t you think Miss Dabber powders too much?*’ “Can't say, Tm sure. I’ve never seen her with her make-up off, so I don't know what she’s trying to hide.*

SMILES

NO TROUBLE TO REMEMBER.

“Hello! Is that the health depart ment?” “Yes,” “This is Snoodle —G. H. Snoodle umpty-seven Ringbone avenue. Say, when are you going to send a garbage wagon around to this neighborhood?* “It’s impossible to say, Mr. Snoodle; we are doing the very best we can.” “But, great Scott, It has been six weeks and four days since anybody In this part of town has even seen a garbage wagon!” "How do you happen to remember so accurately, Mr. Snoodle”” “That was the day, sir, as It happens, when I went on the water wagon, and I’ve been fighting the durnedest thirst you ever heard Of every minute sincg."

SHE COULD AT LEAST.

He —So you don’t think we could live on S2O per week? * She—Well, dear, I was only wonder ing how I could allow you anything out of it.

Why They Cannot.

Some men “can’t sing the old songs”— Sometimes, perchance, you’ve met ’em— Because, you see, ’twixt you and me, No audience will let 'em.

When Bobble Retired.

Bobbie had been allowed to sit up a little while after supper 0.1 condition that he keep quiet. But Bobbie had a lot of questions that he wanted to ask, and the sum of them sent him to bed. “Papa,” he began, innocently enough, “can God do everything?" “Yes, my son, surely.” “Can he make a two-foot rule with only one end to it?” “Don’t ask such foolish questions, sonnle! ” Brief silence; then: “Pa, is it true that a camel can go ten days without water?" “Yes,” a little wearily. “Then, pa, how many days could he go if he had water?" And that, of course, was Bobbie’s cue to go swiftly upstairs.

Happy Pair,

"Do you know, Clara, vrr ought not to subscribe to the opera any more* We’ bind ourselves, and afterward ws have to hear the same things over and over again.” "As if that were any reas >n! I have also bound myeelf, and hi ve to heai the same thing over and over agals from you.”—Judge.

In Later Years.

“Tastes alter as we grow older and more experienced,” remarked the lady en route for Reno. “Yes,” responded the fair one in the next chair. “I used to marry men that I wouldn’t exchange photographs with now.” ,

RECEPTION.

Brown—We reap as we sow. Jones —I never do. I’m an amateui gardener, you know.

Especially the “Fats.”

Now’s when we sweat And fume and stew. And long for clothw The winds blow through

Doctor’s Orders.

Irate Tailor—Now, look hero. Mr. Scrlbb, this has gone on long enoughI demand a check right now. Impecunious Author.—Sorry, Snip, old man, but my physician has ordered me to quit writing altogether for three months.”—Harper's Weekly.

Food for Thought.

"Married only a few days and downcast? How now?” "You, should have heard my wife’s inaugural address stating what she proposes to da”