Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 119, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 May 1913 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

"Starve the fly" is much the better slogan. Every baseball team is a pennant winner just now. Women will wear smaller hats, but hats are not sold by the square foot. New York’s spring cleaning will cost |28,000. It will be dirt cheap at that. H—l, Announcement of the centenary of the silk hat reminds us that the good die young. No man need be devoid of pride when he can press his own trousers successfully. Even a person without much other culture may point proudly to his appendicitis scar. A California man is breeding striped rats, but what kind of liquor he is using is not stated. There are no new names to call the umpire, of course, but then there are always new umpires. No wonder the man who gave his wife thirty hats failed to win her love, considering the styles. The simplified spelling-boai& is going right on simplifying words that refuse to be simplified. There is reason to think that those Zeppelin airships are dangerous contrivances —to those on board. Our respect for China is ably enhanced by the information that the Chinese do not eat chop suey. Archaeologists announce that Egypt fought a money trust 4,000 years ago. And look at what happened to Egypt! There be those who maintain that it is cheaper to treat yourself to grapefruit every day than to pay doctor bills. * Egypt had graft scandals, a Bertillon system and lots of other things, including gestures that cannot be imitated.

The suggestion has been made to have the man given away, too, at weddings. If coyly done, it will be a triumph. It may be true that music makes hair grow on bald heads, despite the fact that Richard Wagner wore a skullcap. As for rabbits, turtles, guinea pigs, etc., Inoculation with some form of germ seems to be the badge of all the tribe. A dispatch says ‘lobsters are to have state protection.” *Tis well to protect some lobsters for proper annihilation. > An actress advises girls to wear hat* pinless hats to make a hit with men. The advice is so shrewd as to be fairly diabolical. Wife of a millionaire eloped with a butcher. Probably had extravagant tastes and wanted meat three or four times a day. An eastern woman claims she would rather be very thin than otherwise. At least she takes a broad outlook of the situation. According to a Chicago professor, clothes are worn primarily for ornament Then how does he account for the derby hat’ ■ ii. ii ■ ii ii 11. .him i . \ It is announced that a new Velasquez portrait has been discovered in London. But it is not announced who painted it In China the breaking of a cup means an oath of brotherhood. In an American restaurant It means one from the proprietor. What has become of the old-fash-ioned man who used to write to the newspapers to say that "woman’s sphere is at home”? Boston college girls propose organizing a chain of don’t wed clubs, but say the membership will be limited. Limited to girls over sixty. New York, it is reported, has an over-abundance of apartment houses land confidence game workers. Sort of too many flats and sharps, as it were. There must be a lot of poor shots in the old world. Dispatch says that eight out of every ten noblemen who come to America to Inveigle heiresses In marriages, fail as fortune hunters. A funeral cortege was arrested for exceeding the speed limit in Spokane recently. How hard it is to lose the western habit of “hustling!” Insomnia is contagious, says a late medical report Quite so, especially when the baby of the bouse begins to show even the slightest symptoms. An English woman, on separation from her husband, is to have 970,000 a year, a town house and a country house. Talk about the land of the free!