Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 96, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 April 1913 — The ONLOOKER [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The ONLOOKER

S. E. KISER

MMM

He trained a goose to multiply and ad& up and subtract; , He taught a spotted pig to waits—lt wagl a funny act; He coaxed a billy goat to Jump through! hoops which were aflame. He taught a chipmunk how to choose the letters of its name. But he could never learn to cease to us* his toothpick where > ■ And when such action gave offense—or else he did not care. He trained a dog to walk a rope and taught a cat to pray, He said himself this took hard work: which lasted many a day; He hitched an alligator up and made it pull a cart, Hts perseverance was Immense, his teaching with an art. But he could never train himself, somehow, to save his life. To quit endeavoring to scoop his food up with his knife. He trained a mouse to dance a' Jig, ha educated flees; He had a carriage which was drawn by harnessed bumble bees; He taught a. turkey gobbler how to balance on his head. And trained a duck to flatten out pretending to be dead. But he Could never train himself—or else _ he never tried— To speak good English and to put vulgarity aside.