Evening Republican, Volume 17, Number 96, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 April 1913 — Page 3

GRANDMA’SPARROT

t It Could Repeat the Lord’s Prayer From Beginning to End, and Then Some. By BRYANT C, ROGERS. Mr. Fred Derwent wu twenty-tour Tears Md. He was referred to as young Derwent, In order not to mix him up with any old Derwent who might hare reached the age of a hundred. Young Derwent was called an artist. This was to distinguish him from the many house painters one saw at work every line day. ' He was an orphan, adopted and reared by his grandmother In Connecticut. She had much ‘to answer for. Young Derwent developed a talent lor sketching with charcoal and chalk. ■At nine years old he could sketch a rooster so naturally that hens would gather around the picture and cluck. A year later he drew such a natural face of Elder Comstock on a barn door that hlB proud grandma had to pay a fine of $lO to keep him out of jail. Young Derwent managed somehow to pull through until he was of age. Then, as It was apparent to all but other artists and a few scene painters that he he was a genius with the brush, he was sent to the city to set up a studio and blossom out In the ■pace of four years he painted three portraits. One was that of an aiders man, who went to the state prison for graft within a week after his picture was finished; the second was that of a saloon keeper, whose wife eloped and took the picture with her, and the third was that of a bull-dog, who .straight way went mad and bit bis master and no one blamed him for It When young Derwent was not busy ‘with his brush he played poker, golf, polo and attended ball games. He [wasn’t at all bad. He did not care particularly about going to heaven [when he died, but it is simply impossible for one reared under the laws 'Of Connecticut to be bad, even with A small “b Most artists fall In love at a tender age and keep it up till they strike 80. Young Derwent had never loved. He might sometime, but he wasn't betting on it He was sociable, but did not seek to make himself popular. 'He was satisfied to go right along beling Mr. Derwent and having his grandmother foot the bills. In the next apartment, to Mr. Derwent’s studio dwelt Miss Honore. Haswell. She didn’t call her place an Atelier or a studio, but her office. Her jline was not mercantile or law, but ■literary. She wroteatorlea for the magazines. She read some of them to [her intimate friends, but no one ever jread one of them in cold type. It allways 'happened that the magazines were overstocked with stories in her I line whenever she sent one in. If Ithey rejected a sporty story and she i sat down and invented' and sent in a religious one, it was the same excuse >—overstocked. Miss Haswell may have been an orphan or she may not. She may have ;had plenty of money, or she may have had to pinch. Be that as It may, she !was no kicker. She piled her rejected manuscripts in a corner of her office as they came back. Mr. Derwent and Miss Haswell were snot acquainted. They used the Bame stairway, and often bumped against each other in the semi-darkness, but ishe had never simled at him, and he had never winked at her. They may jhave wondered about each other ■sometimes, but it stopped right there. [Perhaps this was a wise thing on the ipart of both, but it is also to be reImembered that there is such a thing as carrying wisdom too far. One morning young Derwent awoke ■ with a troubled conscience. A still, ismall voice charged him with neglecting his grandmother. He hadn’t been >up to Connecticut to see her for three i months, and it had been several weeks ; since he had written her that she 'might send an extra check. It wasn’t using the dear old girl acordlng to [Hoyle. She ,was drying apples and ‘making soft soap, and he was loafing ;around. She was putting a second ‘mortgage on her stony qld farm and iscraplbg the bottom of the flour barirel, and he was betting on the ponies and ordering fried eggs at the restaurant He would take a run up among the wooden nutmegs and see her and [assure her of his undying love and j gratitude. Also', that he expected a ' commission ,to paint a famous por;tralt * The grateful adopted went further. ‘He would take up some little present [to prove his thoughtfulness and consideration —not an expensive present but a momento to be laid away in the archives after being rolled in camphor, I After eating his breakfast he went i strolling to Bee what he could find. He had alniost decided on a celluloid ; back-comb, price twenty cents, when ihe met a sailor carrying a parrot on [his arm. • “Come to anchor, Jack Brace!” ! commanded the artist ; "Aye, aye, sir! It’s a parrot Just : from Africa and I’ll sell her cheap.” “Shiver my timbers, but might she {make a present for my grandmother V “Malns’l haul, but you couldn’t beat |lt, matey. Your grandmother would prize the bird above rubles.” 1 “Can she talk?” “She says the Lord’s prayer three 'times a day and sings gospel hymns •the rest of the time. She’s ekal to •a preacher boarding In the house. Reformed our whole crew, ’ceptlng the icapting, on the run from Capetown.” "She'd be oompany for an old woman,” mused the artist.

"She’d never Ist am old woman see a lonely minute. I don’t see how they do without ’em, ’cepting they can’t find ’em to buy. Only a dollar tor the bird. What d’ye say?” „ Polly changed hands at the price, and thereby young Derwent had every reason to congratulate himself. He had bought a fine preseat at a bargain and he had provided religious company for his dear grandmother. Polly was mute and humble. She did not eVen look into the countenance of her owner to see whether he was saint or sinner. A cage was bought for her and she was taken to the studio and placed on the window ledge. The next day she was to go up to Connecticut. Perhaps it was the words of young Dedwent, and perhaps it Was the sight of Miss Haswell’s head out of the window, that set the bird talking. Scarcely had its owner asked it please to' favor him with the Lord’s prayer when the answer came: “You can go to —” Miss Haswell was looking right into Polly’s eyes, and the word seemed intended for her. They hit like so many blows, and the laughter of the artist stung like a although she knew that he didn’t know she was there by her window. Having awakened to the business before her, Polly continued: ’’Lufrr Lud! Why in don’t you luff.!” “That's no Lord’s Prayer that I ever heard before!" chuckled the artist. “Oh, the shame of It,” exclaimed Miss Haswell as she changed color several times in 14 seconds. “It’s a lie!" from Polly. Young Derwent giggled as he thought of what his grandmother would say. Miss Harwell doubled her fists and shut her teeth and took a resolution. “Hard over with your wheel you slouch!” , The hall door of the studio was banged open, and Miss Haswell stood there with burning cheeks and announced: > “Sir, I will have you arrested!" "But I have done nothing.” was the calm reply. "tour—your parrot!" "Bought him an hour ago. I didn't teach him to swear, if he did swear.” "You know he swore, sir—you know he did!" And Polly bowed her head in all humility and began on the Lord’s prayer and repeated it to the last word. Young Derwent looked up at the girl, and she,stammered: "I — I thought —— thought it was swearing. 1 most humbly beg your pardon." That evening they sat together in the parlor and discussed good and bad parrots, also good and bad magazine editors, good had- portrait painters. Meanwhile the parrot swore softly to himself and muttered that he’d be —— if some folks in this world weren’t so mighty particular that they ought to get out of it and into that land where a bird could talk as he pleased without being misunderstood and vilified. The artist and the story writer liked each other. In time they discovered they were soul-mates. Later they were married. Polly went up the country and stuck to the Lord’s prayer for a year. Then she changed, off for the lore of the sea, and young Derwent's grandmother was found dead in her chair. The shock had been too great for her. (Copyright, 1918, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.)

MOST USED VEGETABLE DRUG

Cactus, According to Canvass of Physicians of This Country, Leads Alt the Rest. In an attempt to determine just which of the vegetable drugs are most utilised by the practicing physicians of the country, whether regular, eclectic or homoepathlc, a comprehensive list was sent out to 30,000 practitioners. Care was taken to exclude all specialists and to have every part of the United States represented. Mora than 10,000 answers were received. The drug leading the list was cactus, which, according to Clinical Medicine, was a genuine surprise. The number of votes it received was 6,239. The next seven, in the order named, were hydrastlne, aconite, galsemium, ipecac, digitalis, ergot and belladonna. CaCtus is a. purified extract of a special variety of cactus plant growing in a certain soil in Mexico, and has to be taken from the plant at a certain stage.

Mixed Metaphors.

The British house of commons is never so amused as when a member Is betrayed, in his enthusiasm, into a mixed metaphor. Mr. Balfour, some time ago, spoke of “an empty theater of unsympathetic auditors," while Lord Curzon remarked that “though not out of the wood, we have a good ship.” Sir William Hart Dyke bas told how Mr. Lowther "had caught a big fish in his net, and went to the top of the tree for it,” while a financial minister assured the commons that “the steps of the government should go hand in hand with the interests of the manufacturer." And it was in the lords that the government was warned that “the constitutional rights of the people were being trampled upon by the mailed hand of authority.” ,

Some Queer Mixtures.

"My wife la learning to cook by oook book." “The book must be full of typographical errors, judging by the way things turn out" t

NEW. KING AND QUEEN OF GREECE

Constantine and Sophie are now king and queen of the Hellenes as the result of the assassination of King George. They are here seen with their two oldest boys, the one to the right being the crown prince.

HOUSE OF TRAGEDY

Friend of Franz Josef Tells Story of Royal Family. Hatred of the Magyar to the People of Austria—Emperor's Position Perilous—Was Once Attacked by an Armed Maniac. .~ ■

Budapest—My little old man was back in his corner again, sipping his Turkish coffee, when I appeared, writes “A Diplomat” in the Saturday Journal. A few days had passed since, lounging in the same corner, he had told me the story of King Peter of Servia and had promised me for today a story of the Austrian royal family. “Was it Holland I promised Y* he asked. "No; Austria,” I reminded him. “Ah! Franz Josef; yes, I remember his coronation. v I was a boy then—an unknown boy—with a fancy for wandering; and I stood in his study two days before he was taken ill Just lately—a friend. You are having verimouth, I see. Get the waiter to bring you a fragment of lemon for it "I first met Emperor Franz Josef at Murzteg. He was after capercailzie, and bo was I. We had both set out overnight to climb the mountains so as to be ready when

Emperor Francis Joseph.

we heard the first call of the cock bird to his mate in the dawn. 1 fired my first shot Just as daylight was breaking and In a few minutes I saw a man emerge out of the nfist. dressed In a knteker suit, with Tyrolean hat He was obviously In the worst of tempera, for I had just disturbed some capercailzie which he had followed since before daybreak. However, the bird I had killed was a fine one; we fell to chatting and parted, 1 without recognizing him the emperor of Austria. Six .years afterward I met him'at Budapest and he reminded me of the incident He had remembered my face. "It was on his coronation day, however. that I first saw him as emperor. I remember it was a warm Jude day

in 1867, and he had assumed the title jot king of Hungary. He was seated on a white charger shod with gold, a dozen orders blazed on Ills breast In the sunlight, and, urging his horse to the top of a mound, he waved his sword to the four corners of the compass and uttered the coronation oath to protect the kingdom from all invaders. “Now, please follow me closely. Had Franz Josef declined to do this, had he taken his seat on the throne as emperor of Austria only, he would probhbly have been assassinated within a short space. For your Magyar Is a man who when he hates is the worst enemy on earth, and the inhabitants of Hungary had got it into their heads that Franz Josef meant to grind down the Hungarians beneath the Austrian heel. “You remember that about the time the split occurred between Norway and Sweden there was an undercurrent of ill feeling in Hungary which caused the papers to immediately prophesy a similar split between that country and Austria. It was all caused by a simple incident; an Austrian minister —a firebrand, by the way, and a wholesome hater of Hungary—omitted to invite the wife of a certain Hungarian minister to a society function, when by all the laws of etiquette she should not have been omitted. A feud immediately sprang up. “No man, however, brilliant a diplomat he may be, can exceed the en/ peror as far as his hold upon these

OUTLAW TO START LIFE ANEW

Abe Buzzard Was Evangelist During Day and Btole Poultry at Night.

Phlladelpia.—Forty-one of his aixtyone years having been spent behind prison bars. Abe Buzzard, the notorious outlaw evangelist, was released from the Eastern penitentiary recent ly. Speaking of his Jekyl and Hyde parser, Buzzard says: "The world owed me a good living and I collected the debt the best that I knew how. I was not used right the time I was first arrested, and had I not been blamed for crimes I never committed, I would never have resorted to the life that I hare led. “I am converted now and realize that it does not pay to think that you are going to get away with the kind of stuff that I used to pull I'm going to shake the dust of Pennsylvania from my feet and go to the Pacific coast. I’ve learned to be a cobbler and I'm going into the shoe business out west, where no one will know me, and where I will have a chance to start life over again." Buzzard began stealing at the age of fifteen, when he and three brothers organized a gang to raid farms la the Welch mountains. When twenty he began serving a ten-year term in Lancaster county. He broke out of jail and was recaptured several months later. After serving several other sentences he was released from Cherry Hil! in 1901. Then it was he professed reformation and began preaching. He. did his evangelistic work during

two nations is concerned, and direct* ly he dies there will be, politician* declare, a sharp move on the part of a certain European empire in the north for war between Austria an# Hungary. It is not ill health alone that binds the emperor to his so much as the fear that his absence from the territory will be like removing the buffer that keeps two enemies apart. “I wonder how many secrets of such import that any of the biggest newspapers In Europe would pay a king’s ransom to secure a single copy for publication are locked in that little egriot wood cabinet in the emperor’s study. “The house of Hapsburg has ever since his accession been absolutely dogged by disaster. Just before he ascended the throne a maniac attacked him with a knife and Inflicted such Injuries that his life was despaired of. Then nine days after his coronation at Budapest his brother Maximilian was assasinated in Mexico. His sister became engaged to King Ludwig of Bavaria, but the match was broken off. ■ And fortunately for the prinoess it was that the marriage was never celebrated, for shortly afterward the king lost his reason and drowned himself in the lake of Star-' enberg. But the princess did not cape; she married the Due d’Alencon and was burnt to death in the Pari*' bazar fire.

BAFFLED BY MAN TRAP

Man Arrested for Burglary Bays Mo Spent a Night of Horror at Lakevlew. ■9 . . . - Alton, 11l. —Mark Podner, twenty- 1 three years old, was arrested at Lakeview, near here, on a charge of burglary and larcetoy. He owed his cap-' ture to a unique man trap, a maze, which the owner of the house had; constructed. The Lakevlew belongs to J. J. 81-< zant, who erected a castellated struo-' ture, surrounded by a moat and a drawbridge. Bizant made a maze with looking glasses in the house, and when. Podner broke into the place, which was tenanted only by the watchman,, Henry Meyers, he could not get out Podner, who believes in ghosts, had' heard Bizant’s place was haunted, he said, and wanted to find out for himself. When he got into the maze and: in the dim light saw his own figure in. the mirrors he became terror-stricken. The. wind was moaning and Podner’s imagination conjured up evil spirits. To escape from the house he rut every way, but in vain. Twelve times, he says, he went up and down the stairway, hoping to get his bearings, but each time at its foot he met a mirror and would flee in terror.ouiy tobs confronted by another. Podner always had longed to see spooks, but he says the excitement of his one night in the Bizant castle was too much for him. At last he fell asleep and next morning was aroused and arrested.

STOWAWAY 'BARON’ CAPTURED

Pays for Trip, But Couldnt Stand His Cloee Quarters—Caught While Seeking Freeh Air. New York. —Attired in pearl gray cutaway suit, patent leather shoe* white spats, gay scarf box effect overcoat, Alpine hat, with feather, and twirling a many-jolnted cane, Baron Josef von Prussynskl, as he gave his name and address, who reached these shores through the connivance of a fireman on board the New York of theAmerican line, appeared before Commissioner Shields. “Baron” Josef said'he met Otto <leh» ring, the fireman, in Cherbourg; that Gehring offered to stow him away under his bank for a trip to America; that he paid ten shillings before going on board and a pound sterling after being stowed away. It was stuffy In the fireman’s quarters, he said, so on the second day out he went to the deck for air And was caught

the day and stole poultry at night In the course of a few months he stole 1,800 chickens and 7,500 turkeys from the farmers in and about Reading and Lancaster.

USES "DUMMY” TO FLEE JAIL

Man Sought for Two Years for Mall Frauds Escapee to Canada in Auto. Cleveland, O. —By placing a "dummy" in his cot and by sneaking out a cellar window, James H. McNlcholas, mining promoter, whom the federal authorities chased all over the country for two years and finally caught in Boston a few weeks ago, escaped from the county Jail and is now believed to be in Canada. Sheriff Smith has offered a reward of SI,OOO for McNlcholas’ capture. The federal authorities will hold a grand jury Investigation and will indict several Clevelanders for conspiracy to aid in McNlcholas’ escape. McNlcholas was accused of using the malls to defraud. The escape was spectacular. When an accomplice brought a plate of chop suey at midnight from a neighboring restaurant, McNlcholas, who had been allowed the freedom of the "bull pen," rigged up a dummy, placed It on his cot, and then sneaked down the cellar stairs. The accomplice then lert the Jail, obtained an auto and waited outsider McNlcholas forced a cellar window, got to the auto and fled.

REALLY GOOD RECIPES

WILL BE FOUND VALUABLE ADDITION TO THE MENU. ‘ . V JSSTomato Soup in Most. Approved FaStM ion-—Excellent Sandwiches for Buffet Luncheon Oatmeal Cookies Easy to Make.

Tomato Soup.—Take one quart can of tomatoes, cook and strain through colander to remove seeds and pulp; put juice in porcelain pan and as It heats ■ slowly, add a pinch of soda, one teaspoon salt, a little pepper, lump of butter and sugar if desired. Stir this constantly until it boils, tben add one quart of rich milk which has been heated to boiling point. Put one spoonful whipped cream on each dish of soup and serve hot with toasted crackers. Delicious sandwiches for a buffet luncheon may be made by spreading thin slices of bread with melted cheese, then put in oven until light brown and serve hot. A tempting salad ip made of canned pears, cut in small pieces, mixed; with pecan meats and served withmayonnaise dressing. A good recipe for nut bread is: One. cup sugar, one teaspoon lard or hotter, one quart flour, three teaspoons baking powder, one teaspoon salt,, one cup chopped nuts, enough milk, to make a soft dough. Let rise twenty minutes and bake in moderate oven. Oatmeal Cookie*—One cup sugar,: one cup shortening, one and twothirds lard, one-third bntter, two eggs, two-thirds cup soar milk, on* level teaspoon soda, one-half teaspoon* baking powder, one teaspoon cinnamon, one enp currants, one scant cup' oatmeal, add flour enough to make’ dough stiff enough to drop.' White Layer Cake. —Beat one-half cap butter to a cream, adding gradually one and one-half caps sugar; then add one cap milk; sift together .two and one-half cups of flour with: two teaspoons baking powder; add; this to mixture and beat for five minutes, then add whites of six eggs, beating all together thoroughly.

Chocolate Gelatin.

Dissolve one-quarter box of gelatin ■ in 1 pint of milk over the fire; add. scant half-cup grated chocolate or cocoa. Cocoa makes less rich and more; easily digested dessert Using only one-quarter cup cocoa makes a palatable result, and still less rich than! either of the other mixtures. Wheai gelatin is dissolved add scant cap sugar and bit of salt and vanilla flavoring. Pour into mold and set aside* to harden. Serve with plain cream,, thin or thick. Or whip cream and. flavor with vanilla. One-half cup of: heavy cream whipped is usually enough for this amount of jell, which, makes a generous serving for two ex-, tremely fond of chocolate. A milk-thin boiled custard, lemon flavored, may be used instead of cream.' Also a teaspoon of cocoa may be beaten into the cream, and when put on the jell dotted with tiniest beads of the jelL

Pond Lily Eggs.

Select nice oval eggs, boll in large' kettle full of water for at least twenty minutes. Have water hot but not boiling when eggs are put in, then keep water simmering, but not boiling or they may crack. When time is ap take up carefully and let cold water run over, to loosen shell, remove shell, carefully and then split the whites Into five or six petals—begin at small end and do not cut entirely to bottom. Now remove yolk carefully, mash, well, add a little boiled dressing, salt and paprika, and replace enough of; the mixture to simulate a half open lily, place on bed of lettuce and lay strips of green peppers so as to represent a stem.

Brown Hash.

Free cold, cooked beef or mutton from fat or gristle and chop fine, seasoning it very highly with salt and pepper. Add an equal quantity of cold potatoes, also chopped fine. Pot in a frying pan, adding sufficient stock—water most be used If you have no stock —to moisten thoroughly. Heat slowly, stirring often until very hot. For one pint of hash spread over the top one • tablespoonful of sweet beef dripping or butter, cover closely and draw to one side for twenty minutes, where it will crust on the bottom without burning. Fold over like an omelet and turn out on a hot platter.

Care of Machines.

Sewing machines Should be treated with great care if you would hava them last a long while and do perfect work. After every two days of steady work oil the machinery thoroughly, but be careful tp wipe away all superfluous oiL Run the machine rapidly but steadily without any thread for five miputes after oiling. This will cause the oil to scatter, and the superfluous drops can be wiped away and none will be left to stain Abe material you are working.

To Remove Teacup Stains.

Teacups, even when carefully kept, sometimes have dark stains at the bottom, caused by the action of the tannin 1n the tea. Salt, slightly moistened, will remove these, but in the case of very fine china someftmea scratches it a little. Powdered whiting will be found quite harmless aa4 equally good.